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What's the most stupid thing that's ever come out of your mouth?

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By *oxerjoshlee OP   Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

After a woman broke down in tears telling me her husband had died I responded with "come on it will be good" ....I've no idea why I said it.

What stupid things have fallen out of your mouth?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That tastes horrible

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

A friend once told me she'd had acupuncture to lose weight.

I asked - Oh ... it didn't work then ?

I cringed.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everything I say !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I Do"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"" I Do""
hahahahahaa class!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My kebab from the evening before

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"After a woman broke down in tears telling me her husband had died I responded with "come on it will be good" ....I've no idea why I said it.

What stupid things have fallen out of your mouth? "

So many I could not even remember! I am an expert in the art of dentopedics!

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By *taffsfella1Man
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

After a few beers, I once said that the Band Aid song was a Summer hit. I still get ribbed for it now

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

iv been divorced for about 13 yrs or so a few yrs back my son got in some truble with the law as young lads do. id not seen my ex wife for at least 7/8 yrs 1st I dident reconise her 2nd my 1st words where god uv put on wight.........it went down hill from there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What I said last saturday lol.

She knows who she is and I was lucky not to get a Blackeye...well..blacker anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"iv been divorced for about 13 yrs or so a few yrs back my son got in some truble with the law as young lads do. id not seen my ex wife for at least 7/8 yrs 1st I dident reconise her 2nd my 1st words where god uv put on wight.........it went down hill from there "

Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

rather than asking people if they wanted swiss roll of semolina i asked if they wanted swiss roll or salmonella

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

or*

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"rather than asking people if they wanted swiss roll of semolina i asked if they wanted swiss roll or salmonella "

pmsl...........shit I need anther brew now .........minnie get the kettle back on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ironically about half hour ago in oub its a dog friendly place so my dog was with me heard one bloke say summat so i said why you want to be a mudflap bloke said he said ge wished he was a black lab so could he could be sniffing women. Quick as flash his mate said he was more a piss flap than a mud flap.

Will teach me to listen in on conversations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worked in Edinburgh many years ago . One day there was a big rugby match on . I got into work and someone asked if I was ok I said not really there's loads of blokes running around the streets in skirts .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"rather than asking people if they wanted swiss roll of semolina i asked if they wanted swiss roll or salmonella

pmsl...........shit I need anther brew now .........minnie get the kettle back on"

Bloody cheek

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"rather than asking people if they wanted swiss roll of semolina i asked if they wanted swiss roll or salmonella

pmsl...........shit I need anther brew now .........minnie get the kettle back on

Bloody cheek "

just bloody do it woman an stop ya yakin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"rather than asking people if they wanted swiss roll of semolina i asked if they wanted swiss roll or salmonella

pmsl...........shit I need anther brew now .........minnie get the kettle back on

Bloody cheek

just bloody do it woman an stop ya yakin "

Oh you are just asking for trouble

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"rather than asking people if they wanted swiss roll or semolina i asked if they wanted swiss roll or salmonella "

So that's where Eddie Izzard got the idea for 'Cake or Death'!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One time i saw a tube of anti wrinkle cream on a female colleagues desk i left note asking if she wanted to return it as it clearly did not work.

Miserable cow made complaint

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got a phone call from my 6 yr olds headmaster at boarding school saying he had been rushed to hospital with suspected appendicitis , I said " oh do you want us to come down then ?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mouth is quite safe these days

What I have to watch is what comes outta these finger tips

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One time i saw a tube of anti wrinkle cream on a female colleagues desk i left note asking if she wanted to return it as it clearly did not work.

Miserable cow made complaint "

lol you charmer

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"One time i saw a tube of anti wrinkle cream on a female colleagues desk i left note asking if she wanted to return it as it clearly did not work.

Miserable cow made complaint "

I wouldn't have complained, but hopefully your arsehole would have been less wrinky after I stuffed the tube up it

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By * control youMan
over a year ago

swindon

Will u marry me stupid fker I am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One time i saw a tube of anti wrinkle cream on a female colleagues desk i left note asking if she wanted to return it as it clearly did not work.

Miserable cow made complaint

I wouldn't have complained, but hopefully your arsehole would have been less wrinky after I stuffed the tube up it "

She was way too sensitive lol i was trying to save her money

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will you marry me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do .... First time round ...

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman
over a year ago

Glenrothes

I once said to a friend who was biting his nails, can't you use scissors to do that? His response was "No I can't, don't forgot I only have one arm". I wanted to crawl under the desk. He thought it was hysterical!

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I do.

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

Hold your beds and stand by your horses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love you

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