FabSwingers.com forum: Why do they do it?

By *ightened Grip OP Man
40 weeks ago

Wakefield

Hello all

I have been on and off this site over the last 12months and wanted to get an opinion on an issue thats been bugging me...

Having started a conversation with someone who was interested in what im about and exchanged pics to which both parties were happy, we would then chat on this or a separate platform via a voice and vid call to see if there was further compatibility beyond the physical.

Having established both parties were happy to proceed, an initial social meet would then be arranged - giving the female the choice to choose a time & date suitable for them.

Having arranged this, i have now been in the situation a number of times that the individual disappears, usually the day before meeting - and no response on any platform..

Can anyone shed any light on what is going on here? Its quite frustrating to think youve found a person only to have to start the process all over again.

Appreciate your thoughts on this!

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By *sWyldWoman
40 weeks ago

Edinburgh

People can change their minds at any time. While the respectful thing to do would be to tell you rather than vanishing, its just one of those things. Maybe they didn't feel comfortable saying .

Also,I'm put off people by the silliest of things sometimes. Even when there's a mutual attraction and seemingly good chat.

If they felt the same I'd much rather it end than potentially happen and regret it.

Its life, it happens and you must choose to not let it get to you or this will become a pretty grim journey

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By *N MFCoupleCouple
40 weeks ago

Lincoln

Unless there’s something fairly serious going on with their personal life (which does happen), a short explanatory is preferred other than ghosting surely?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
40 weeks ago

East Sussex

I suspect that person/people who have done this are fascinated by your dynamic and truly believe they want to experience it but when faced with the possibility of it actually happening get cold feet.

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By *oeBeansMan
40 weeks ago

Derby

"People can change their minds at any time. While the respectful thing to do would be to tell you rather than vanishing, its just one of those things. Maybe they didn't feel comfortable saying .

Also,I'm put off people by the silliest of things sometimes. Even when there's a mutual attraction and seemingly good chat.

If they felt the same I'd much rather it end than potentially happen and regret it.

Its life, it happens and you must choose to not let it get to you or this will become a pretty grim journey "

People are entitled to changing their minds, but it's a still a bit shitty if they let it get that far only to change their mind once the possibility of meeting actually happens. It's pretty selfish if anything and changing your mind isn't justification for just ghosting them.

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
40 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

Is this the same person each time? I suspect you need to make a decision - are you happy to keep talking to them with the awareness this is fantasy play for them and will never result in a meet, or knowing it will never meet would you rather just end things now? Both options are valid

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By *ightened Grip OP Man
40 weeks ago

Wakefield

No its been different people - i understand that the females on this site are quite literally fighting for breath as they get bombarded with messages, so the only conclusion i could come to was that they liked my profile and were interested, but i am merely an option/on standby until something more suitable for them came along

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By *ightened Grip OP Man
40 weeks ago

Wakefield

"I suspect that person/people who have done this are fascinated by your dynamic and truly believe they want to experience it but when faced with the possibility of it actually happening get cold feet. "

I suspect this may also be one of the reasons - its too easy to get what they want virtually without going through the act...

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By *estructionDollyWoman
40 weeks ago

Manchester

Sadly this happens all the time with people of all genders. You need a thick skin to meet people online.

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