FabSwingers.com forum: Can't move on!

By *adyA01 OP Woman
over a year ago

Wellington

Serious advice sought, how do you get over having your heart ripped out by someone you met on here! 18 months we were together! He went off with someone else on here! I realise this is not the place to go looking for a loving relationship, but I wasn't looking for that when we met! It just developed! He and her both have there own profiles on here and a couples profile! I know he doesn't deserve my love or my pain and tears, but you can't help who you fall for? How do I move on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best way to get over him is go out n have fun ...good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Serious advice sought, how do you get over having your heart ripped out by someone you met on here! 18 months we were together! He went off with someone else on here! I realise this is not the place to go looking for a loving relationship, but I wasn't looking for that when we met! It just developed! He and her both have there own profiles on here and a couples profile! I know he doesn't deserve my love or my pain and tears, but you can't help who you fall for? How do I move on?"

By understanding that he doesn't feel for youlikethat anymore and it's best you focus your energy elsewhere rather than hating him.

Things move quickly but 18 months is a long time to be trying to get over someone.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Wish I knew the answer to that one.

hugx

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Firstly block them so you can't see what they are up to and won't be tempted to keep looking.

Secondly take some time out to get your head sorted. No point rushing into sex Sith strangers if your head isn't straight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can relate to this.. wasnt as long but when my daughter asks how this person is i just wanna cry. fell harder than i thought i did. after the initial anger was over with i still care. its tough. just think that i enjoyed what i had with him for however long it lasted. massive hugs xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Firstly block them so you can't see what they are up to and won't be tempted to keep looking.

Secondly take some time out to get your head sorted. No point rushing into sex With strangers if your head isn't straight. "

+ 1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else...

Life is hard and yes you canny help who you fall in love with but in time you will look back and think who??? for some people they move on quicker than others, know its no consolation but go have fun...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you a single woman ( as in not married) ??? Its not wise on here to assume .....

I know a married woman on here who fell for the man she was seeing - in the end she ended up doing exactly what the advice is up there. Block all the profiles and take time out - come back when refreshed

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

i try and always find a positive ..so i would reflect and smile at the 18 happy months you were both together and be happy that he enriched your life for that length of time

wish you all the best for the future

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Firstly block them so you can't see what they are up to and won't be tempted to keep looking.

Secondly take some time out to get your head sorted. No point rushing into sex Sith strangers if your head isn't straight. "

You Will move on, when you are ready....

Just dont expect that to happen today...

PS: The next person won't be like the last...

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By *orseydaveMan
over a year ago

Norwich NR5

best thing to do is remember this is a swinging site and not dateline etc

yes it hurts, but you are not unique, show yourself to be strong and however much it hurts, "stand up straight, head up" and move on x

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By *otwife CoolhubCouple
over a year ago

Bathgate

Two strategies here.

Either go out and be a FAB social butterfly and allow the support of others on here to dilute the memory.

Hide your profile and take a break from things on here and come back when you feel more equipped.

Things will get better x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"best thing to do is remember this is a swinging site and not dateline etc

yes it hurts, but you are not unique, show yourself to be strong and however much it hurts, "stand up straight, head up" and move on x"

She might be unique...

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By *adyA01 OP Woman
over a year ago

Wellington

"Can relate to this.. wasnt as long but when my daughter asks how this person is i just wanna cry. fell harder than i thought i did. after the initial anger was over with i still care. its tough. just think that i enjoyed what i had with him for however long it lasted. massive hugs xxx"

My kids ask about him too! My son espcially misses him! You have to hide your feelings in front of your kids and be strong! I have tried to have fun, but nothing feels the same! Its been 2 and half months now! My anger has subsided now, but yeah still love him! Thanks kind of helps knowing someone else has been there xx

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By *adyA01 OP Woman
over a year ago

Wellington

"Are you a single woman ( as in not married) ??? Its not wise on here to assume .....

I'm single, actually now getting divorced from my husband. He and I split nearly 4 years ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was seeing someone quite regularly on here and for nowhere near as long as you (only a few months), but such a nice guy, I did get feelings for him. It could have gone further as we were talking about couples profile together, but I was the one who messed it up because of my feelings. It was too soon for him. He has just come back online this week after moving back to his house, I left him a message a couple of weeks ago, our last meeting together was a good 8 weeks ago. He hasnt read it, not sure if he will, I tried the staying away and not looking at his profile, I couldnt bring myself to block him in case he wanted to message me, so I do understand how you feel even though ours was a short time together. Im still holding out hope he will read my message and get in touch. But like they say, try and move on, is rough on you he has started a couple profile with someone else. Hug to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no easy fail proof solution other than to keep a reality check on what this site is and to be strong yourself to ensure you're not forming too close a bond.

Men on here are after sex. There are a lot of them. There are more opportunities for couples.

A man might like the look of someone and decide to stick with her to ensure regular sex. They might start going to clubs together or have a couples profile which will accumulate more interest and possibilities. For a time things will be great.

But having a swinging partner may also hold a man back. Maybe he wants to play with others that she is not keen on. Maybe she won't take on more guys than he wants her to if he gets a kick out of that. Whilst the swinging opportunities are there, he has invisible strings holding him to his swinging partner and he has to consider her needs.

Thisay lead to a frustration and he will go looking alone again. He may have built up a network of contacts so perhaps opportunities will present themselves to him singly. Or on looking at the countless female profiles here he may find one that wishes to go along to a club or party. The original lady will be forgotten in his quest for additional sexual conquests with a new lady.

Keep this as a mindset and don't allow yourself to get too involved. Don't see the same guy regularly. Don't let him use you to widen his swinging network. Think of yourself and only yourself. If you have a great night with someone then enjoy the memory and move onto the next great night with a new guy.

It's easy to stick with the same guy to enjoy experiences but if you do this then don't be fooled into thinking that men want the same, given half the chance of a night with a new woman they will go.

Keep this very cynical view to keep yourself strong and prevent letting your head fill with romantic notions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know. I wish I did because I could resolve my pain too. Very similar to yours but not on this site, a similar one. If you find the answer please be sure and tell me. I'm trying hard to immerse myself in my work (and not visit that site) to see if that helps. When I concentrate it does but every so often, several times a day, I'm back in the same trough of depression. Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know what..

This not a dating site.

At the same time its not an auto-pass shag fest either.

But what I will say is this ....

having seen numerous threads this last week of seemingly nice ladies being fucked around and I was gonna say this the other day when another lady was hurt:

People are honest with others about others..but pretty damn impossibly honest with themselves about themselves.

In my opinion if you go looking for a relationship (other than friendship) on a site like this...your gonna get hurt at some point.

Ben xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was seeing someone quite regularly on here and for nowhere near as long as you (only a few months), but such a nice guy, I did get feelings for him. It could have gone further as we were talking about couples profile together, but I was the one who messed it up because of my feelings. It was too soon for him. He has just come back online this week after moving back to his house, I left him a message a

couple of weeks ago, our last meeting together was a good 8 weeks ago. He hasnt read it, not sure if he will, I tried the staying away and not looking at his profile, I couldnt bring myself to block him in case he wanted to message me, so I do understand how you feel even

though ours was a short time together. Im still holding out hope he will read my message and get in touch. But like they say, try and move on, is rough on you he has started a couple profile with someone else. Hug to you "

And my advice to you would be to block this man who you are still hooked on. Why on earth would you want to keep yourself available for a man who isn't interested. Have respect for yourself.

You are also a married woman, there are no men on here to rescue you from an unhappy marriage. They just want sex. Don't be fooled by kind words.

There are opportunities for you to have fun, but it's short term and not intended as a long term commitment

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By *leasurexxWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

great advice iconic..xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope soon u start to feel better! Don't let the bastards get u down babe, people like these r not worth ur time and energy xx

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

A psychologist kubler Ross did a lot of research not specifically about this, other very stressful situations, she descrobes 5 emotional 'states' people go through,

Anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, you may go through one state but a small trigger can move you back as well, friends family will all offer you support

Unfortunately I dont think theres an easy fix,

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Sounds corny but time is the only thing that'll do it. I fell completely in love with a guy Id been seeing about a year and even though he felt the same it couldn't have moved to a relationship so it ended. I was heartbroken I'll admit and fell apart completely as ending something when you both admit you love each other other is way harder than any relationship I've ended before!!

Six months down the line after blocking him completely for my own sanity I look back now and it doesn't so much hurt anymore. I still love him and a little bit of me always will but I I'm just happy for the time we had together now!!

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

You need to take time out and begin to get to know yourself again....time is a great healer but use fab as its intended anything else is a bonus.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theres no easy fix, its like a berievment, and you have to deal with it the best you can. Take one day at a time,.and I hope the sun shines for you again soon xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/05/13 08:51:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They just want sex. Don't be fooled by kind words.

Thats quite a blanket statement.

If I have kind words to say..I say it because I mean it.

And as for the just wanting sex bit..I can only speak for myself..but personally I like the forums..there are some cool folk here and I like the banter.

$0.02

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know my words were harsh and I didn't sugar coat it. It's not easy to be hard and focused, we are not robots and we do feel.

It will get better in time. Focus on the new fun experiences just waiting to happen rather than those lost. It isn't easy I know

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By *adyA01 OP Woman
over a year ago

Wellington

"Theres no easy fix, its like a berievment, and you have to deal with it the best you can. Take one day at a time,.and I hope the sun shines for you again soon xx"

Nail on head! Really does feel like a bereavement! Thankyou for everyones replys and private messages! I would like to say as in my original post! I know this isnt a dating site, and that is not what I was looking for! It just developed, and largely due to the fact he was the one that did all the running! And in answer to another post, I am seperated nearly 4 years now and getting divorced so class myself as single not married xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not take time out? Take time with good friends n family and get on with the rest of your life, they are not worth the pain but only you can help you.

We can give advice but its you end of day who makes the choices.

You will get threw it and come out stronger.

Good luck sweetie xxxx

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By *adyA01 OP Woman
over a year ago

Wellington

"I know my words were harsh and I didn't sugar coat it. It's not easy to be hard and focused, we are not robots and we do feel.

It will get better in time. Focus on the new fun experiences just waiting to happen rather than those lost. It isn't easy I know

I don't sugarcoat either hun, I completely get what you said x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can relate to this.... I fell for a guy I first met at a club. We quickly fell into a pattern of meeting regularly outside the scene and I fell head over heels for him. Not good, as I already have a partner at home. It nearly wrecked my relationship but when you're in it, you don't see that it's doing any harm, until someone pulls you up and makes you look at what you're doing. We stopped seeing eachother and now only swap texts occasionally. I do still wonder though...what if

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By *ondafirestormMan
over a year ago

heckington

Poor babes,me and a lady have just finished a 9 month affair and im married,but couldnt help but fall in love with her,lots of tears over the last couple of weeks from us both but it had to end,she married too by the way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OH DEAR ! not a clue of how to get over it , but guess talking about it helps ,and they do say , TIME is a great healer . FRANKIE X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time is the only thing that's going to make life worth living again and getting your head back and heart ..... and in Time you will look back and see thing how thay are not what you wish them to be .......... Now you need to look after yourself ......... Your family need you to be there for them .... its a hard when you feel your hearts been ripped out and you feel like thay are camping in your head 24/7 and every sad love song is how you feel........... so I wish you to do this ... Write 'never to be sent letters' to get things of your chest ........ put it all down on paper ...... after burn it ... you can read it two or 3 times before . Start to do thing you like doing ...... Go out of the house everyday and get moving as staying in feeling sorry going over things in your head again and again is not good and will drive you nuts Don't go a lisen to loads of sad love songs.......... Make sure you get a good nights sleep .......... don't drink a lot as that can make you feel bad getting off your head on wine ........ spoil yourself make nice meals ..... take long bubble baths ... go out with family and friends .... Just take time for you and put you first so you can get strong and look after family and you x And you will have bad days when its feels hard to face the world its normal your hurt and it all takes time . xxxxxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At times I think are they the same men/woman on here doing this .? As a lot have a story they could tell ....... If thay are really open if married or not it can still come knocking at your door.. Some people on here could be good at playing the love game and not seeing how it can hurt so much .. or is it for some just one more way of getting a leg over but with more feelings ... as sex with people you don't know can be so cold at times .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I so feel for you, im in the same position, but they dont have a profile on here....I cant move on because of all the lies he told.....In fact im going to my first counselling session this afternoon, as 5 months later i still cant handle it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And my advice to you would be to block this man who you are still hooked on. Why on earth would you want to keep yourself available for a man who isn't interested. Have respect for yourself.

You are also a married woman, there are no men on here to rescue you from an unhappy marriage. They just want sex. Don't be fooled by kind words.

There are opportunities for you to have fun, but it's short term and not intended as a long term commitment

"
Thanks for your advice but I was just trying to help the lady poster. Im not in a unhappy marriage just a sexless one. If he had wanted just sex our first meet wouldnt have been just coffee. Hes a decent guy who knows how to treat a lady and if he does get in touch again then I will consider myself lucky as I am still on his friends list, he may get in touch but if he doesnt I will and am learning to live with it. Until you experience this sort of feeling, unless you have, you dont know what its like. Sorry just being honest, like the rest of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"
Think yourself lucky you found out he was a liar . just think how it could have been if you had not found out for months ... could have taken you to the cleaners .. and not just messed your heart up x ... I hope it go well today and you get it off your chest .. You need to wright one of them letters to him you never post to get it all out.. we live and lean I have. xx

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

And my advice to you would be to block this man who you are still hooked on. Why on earth would you want to keep yourself available for a man who isn't interested. Have respect for yourself.

You are also a married woman, there are no men on here to rescue you from an unhappy marriage. They just want sex. Don't be fooled by kind words.

There are opportunities for you to have fun, but it's short term and not intended as a long term commitment

^^^^^Oh this!!!

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

Unfortunately this is a swinging site,and you got to close .perhaps he wasn't after a full time relationship,step back take some time out,he may need time to decide if wants a relationship with you .you sound like a really nice person,so there are plenty of guys out there.,good luck and I hope you find what your afterx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"great advice iconic..xx"

Yes - Iconic's posts are always worth reading in my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It takes time , while one door closes another opens

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By *ysteryboatMan
over a year ago

Brighton

and don't forget that once you're over him, there'll still be a scar.

some scar tissue is stronger than that around it, and some is more vulnerable.

whether it's a soft scar or a strong scar, accept it for what it is, and adjust accordingly.

most of us have had our hearts broken - the time to worry is when you stop caring. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It takes time , while one door closes another opens

And once the door closes make sure its well and truly locked...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you can't move forward move sideways, as has been said block the 3 profiles then fill your time and life with other things, once it's full then the past will start to feel better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try to remember that this is a swinging site, so its for people to meet people for sex. If the sex transforms to love, thats a real complication ... because both parties were on here for sex. Its a brutal honesty, and a terrific shame when one falls deeply for another, and that isn't reciprocated. Best advice is to leave the site, until you are over him. Then, if swinging is still your thing, re-join. And have fun, again. Hope it works out ok for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It takes time , while one door closes another opens

And once the door closes make sure its well and truly locked..."
easyer said then done when seeing them here ..

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"I know my words were harsh and I didn't sugar coat it. It's not easy to be hard and focused, we are not robots and we do feel.

It will get better in time. Focus on the new fun experiences just waiting to happen rather than those lost. It isn't easy I know

Actually I thought your words were perfect.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It takes time , while one door closes another opens

And once the door closes make sure its well and truly locked...easyer said then done when seeing them here ..

Just depends on each person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was seeing someone on an off for three years and getting over it is not easy. He has a profile on here too. He treated me badly but I still loved him. I've not blocked him but I'm trying hard not to look at his profile several times a day! It will get better even thought you might not think that at the moment. You'll get over him in your own time and in your own way. Good luck hun x

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

To be honest and with respect, I wouldn't be on here at all, not for a long while anyway. All the old cliches about time heals are true-eventually-just don't fall into the "washing dirty laundry in public"routine.....its not clever and definitely not pretty.

Mostly though, I wish you luck...a broken heart is never good, but keeping an eye on what he is doing is kinda creepy, so don't do it- you are only making you're pain worse.

Good luck.....xxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but keeping an eye on what he is doing is kinda creepy, so don't do it- you are only making you're pain worse."

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

pretty much what Iconic said, good advice..

whilst respecting we all handle stuff differently, do wonder why anyone going through what the OP is would be on here for anything but support from friends..?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You know what..

This not a dating site.

At the same time its not an auto-pass shag fest either.

But what I will say is this ....

having seen numerous threads this last week of seemingly nice ladies being fucked around and I was gonna say this the other day when another lady was hurt:

People are honest with others about others..but pretty damn impossibly honest with themselves about themselves.

In my opinion if you go looking for a relationship (other than friendship) on a site like this...your gonna get hurt at some point.

Ben xxx

She said she wasnt looking for a relationship, it just happened. You cant help who you fall for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem is your heart does not know when to let go,as you've said this is not the site to go looking for love but the heart is a funny old thing,it cares not about boundaries or location,the hurt will take time to heel but it will heel,I've been there.you will meet somebody that sparks an interest and you will ask questions and then maybe just maybe you will make a new relationship,I hope all goes well for you in the future,kisss from Scott.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Firstly block them so you can't see what they are up to and won't be tempted to keep looking.

Secondly take some time out to get your head sorted. No point rushing into sex Sith strangers if your head isn't straight. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/05/13 15:45:39]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I shall assume for the purpose of this thread that when the two of you met, you were both fully single ?

If either of you weren't then I guess the phrase you reap what you sew comes into play.

So again, assuming you were both single at the start :

In terms of getting over it / him, find yourself diversions away from Fab, take solace in friends and family and spend your additional time with your kids doing stuff you all enjoy.

Go out with your friends, build a life for yourself.

What's done is done, he made his choices and you are in pain as a result - the choices bit won't change and only you can change the pain profile.

So get on with it, get used to a life without him in it and stop being concerned with what he / they are up to.

It is none of your business and will only serve to hurt you more.

So yeah you have a few hard weeks and months ahead, but what you face is not insurmountable nor impossible.

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By * control youMan
over a year ago

swindon

I would play around on here show him wat his missing nd when he comes crawling back fuck him off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Moving on is the best possible fix for this, yes it will be hard, it will break you but having fun and being appreciate and desired by other men on here really is the best medicine.

Block him and her profile and try to have fun, that's what it's all about on here.

He's moved on so as hard as it is, you must do the same

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I shall assume for the purpose of this thread that when the two of you met, you were both fully single ?

If either of you weren't then I guess the phrase you reap what you sew comes into play.

So again, assuming you were both single at the start :

In terms of getting over it / him, find yourself diversions away from Fab, take solace in friends and family and spend your additional time with your kids doing stuff you all enjoy.

Go out with your friends, build a life for yourself.

What's done is done, he made his choices and you are in pain as a result - the choices bit won't change and only you can change the pain profile.

So get on with it, get used to a life without him in it and stop being concerned with what he / they are up to.

It is none of your business and will only serve to hurt you more.

So yeah you have a few hard weeks and months ahead, but what you face is not insurmountable nor impossible.

Spot on Bussy!!

I've personally never understood why people would consider introducing their children to someone they met on here? Even if there was the prospect of a relationship developing - I'm surprised many are not more wary of the potential for things to ho pear shaped and to have negative effects on kids? Most friends of mine (vanilla) with kids wouldn't dream of introducing a potential partner until the relationship was at the point where there was talk of cohabiting - or at least when someone was looking to stay over with a lot more frequency than someone met on t'internet - particularly a swingers site!

But then not having kids - what do I know!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" having fun and being appreciate and desired by other men on here really is the best medicine.

it is a personal thing

it may work for you, possibly not for others

being desired is nice, but not being desired by the one you REALLY want can be totally devastating

having someones hands and mouth on you is (generally) nice, but if they are not the hands and the mouth of the one you REALLY want, it can be just downright awful, however adept they are at it

lying with someone is nice, but if they are not the one you REALLY want to lie with, it can just be awkward and uncomfortable and just as lonely as being in an empty bed

that is why, for some, taking a break is by far the better option

only the OP will know what will work for her long term

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By *ontystashMan
over a year ago

Manchester

A big hug too you I been there myself love it's really hard you cannot help for who you fall for,but it it's hard to get over I think about her everyday and it's been a while since we split and it been made worse because I think she is on here .

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

"I shall assume for the purpose of this thread that when the two of you met, you were both fully single ?

If either of you weren't then I guess the phrase you reap what you sew comes into play.

So again, assuming you were both single at the start :

In terms of getting over it / him, find yourself diversions away from Fab, take solace in friends and family and spend your additional time with your kids doing stuff you all enjoy.

Go out with your friends, build a life for yourself.

What's done is done, he made his choices and you are in pain as a result - the choices bit won't change and only you can change the pain profile.

So get on with it, get used to a life without him in it and stop being concerned with what he / they are up to.

It is none of your business and will only serve to hurt you more.

So yeah you have a few hard weeks and months ahead, but what you face is not insurmountable nor impossible.

Spot on Bussy!!

But then not having kids - what do I know!"

I met my ex on a site like this and we were together for 5 years....not introducing his kids was going to be difficult since we lived together and the kids even came to live with us permanently..

Not all relationships that start on a site like this are only short term.

The fact he was a controlling psycho was nothing to do with how we met lol..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/05/13 16:29:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha hahaha haha... There should be a unwritten rule in swinging.. If you hook up with a woman more than 4-5 times and they're gonna fall in love with you!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

While I feel for the op I'm not sure this is the appropriate place to air this

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

When you feel indifferent about him and what he and she are getting up to you will have moved on.

Try not to wallow in it. I know that is difficult but more time you spend on it the longer it will take to heal.

Lots of really good advice from others on here too.

I hang onto "players only love you when they're playing" - it serves me well if I begin to feel someone is getting to feel a bit too special.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" having fun and being appreciate and desired by other men on here really is the best medicine.

it is a personal thing

it may work for you, possibly not for others

being desired is nice, but not being desired by the one you REALLY want can be totally devastating

having someones hands and mouth on you is (generally) nice, but if they are not the hands and the mouth of the one you REALLY want, it can be just downright awful, however adept they are at it

lying with someone is nice, but if they are not the one you REALLY want to lie with, it can just be awkward and uncomfortable and just as lonely as being in an empty bed

that is why, for some, taking a break is by far the better option

only the OP will know what will work for her long term"

this is so true for me.. I was meeting people but after it made me miss my ex even more.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I am guessing the people being discussed would feel very uncomfortable with this thread and for that reason I am closing it

You and others have had some great advice though.

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