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"Serious advice sought, how do you get over having your heart ripped out by someone you met on here! 18 months we were together! He went off with someone else on here! I realise this is not the place to go looking for a loving relationship, but I wasn't looking for that when we met! It just developed! He and her both have there own profiles on here and a couples profile! I know he doesn't deserve my love or my pain and tears, but you can't help who you fall for? How do I move on?" Wish I knew the answer to that one. hugx | |||
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"Firstly block them so you can't see what they are up to and won't be tempted to keep looking. Secondly take some time out to get your head sorted. No point rushing into sex With strangers if your head isn't straight. " + 1 | |||
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"Firstly block them so you can't see what they are up to and won't be tempted to keep looking. Secondly take some time out to get your head sorted. No point rushing into sex Sith strangers if your head isn't straight. " You Will move on, when you are ready.... Just dont expect that to happen today... PS: The next person won't be like the last... | |||
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"best thing to do is remember this is a swinging site and not dateline etc yes it hurts, but you are not unique, show yourself to be strong and however much it hurts, "stand up straight, head up" and move on x" She might be unique... | |||
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"Can relate to this.. wasnt as long but when my daughter asks how this person is i just wanna cry. fell harder than i thought i did. after the initial anger was over with i still care. its tough. just think that i enjoyed what i had with him for however long it lasted. massive hugs xxx" My kids ask about him too! My son espcially misses him! You have to hide your feelings in front of your kids and be strong! I have tried to have fun, but nothing feels the same! Its been 2 and half months now! My anger has subsided now, but yeah still love him! Thanks kind of helps knowing someone else has been there xx | |||
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"Are you a single woman ( as in not married) ??? Its not wise on here to assume ..... I know a married woman on here who fell for the man she was seeing - in the end she ended up doing exactly what the advice is up there. Block all the profiles and take time out - come back when refreshed " I'm single, actually now getting divorced from my husband. He and I split nearly 4 years ago | |||
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"I was seeing someone quite regularly on here and for nowhere near as long as you (only a few months), but such a nice guy, I did get feelings for him. It could have gone further as we were talking about couples profile together, but I was the one who messed it up because of my feelings. It was too soon for him. He has just come back online this week after moving back to his house, I left him a message a couple of weeks ago, our last meeting together was a good 8 weeks ago. He hasnt read it, not sure if he will, I tried the staying away and not looking at his profile, I couldnt bring myself to block him in case he wanted to message me, so I do understand how you feel even though ours was a short time together. Im still holding out hope he will read my message and get in touch. But like they say, try and move on, is rough on you he has started a couple profile with someone else. Hug to you " And my advice to you would be to block this man who you are still hooked on. Why on earth would you want to keep yourself available for a man who isn't interested. Have respect for yourself. You are also a married woman, there are no men on here to rescue you from an unhappy marriage. They just want sex. Don't be fooled by kind words. There are opportunities for you to have fun, but it's short term and not intended as a long term commitment | |||
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"Serious advice sought, how do you get over having your heart ripped out by someone you met on here! 18 months we were together! He went off with someone else on here! I realise this is not the place to go looking for a loving relationship, but I wasn't looking for that when we met! It just developed! He and her both have there own profiles on here and a couples profile! I know he doesn't deserve my love or my pain and tears, but you can't help who you fall for? How do I move on?" Sounds corny but time is the only thing that'll do it. I fell completely in love with a guy Id been seeing about a year and even though he felt the same it couldn't have moved to a relationship so it ended. I was heartbroken I'll admit and fell apart completely as ending something when you both admit you love each other other is way harder than any relationship I've ended before!! Six months down the line after blocking him completely for my own sanity I look back now and it doesn't so much hurt anymore. I still love him and a little bit of me always will but I I'm just happy for the time we had together now!! | |||
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"They just want sex. Don't be fooled by kind words. " Thats quite a blanket statement. If I have kind words to say..I say it because I mean it. And as for the just wanting sex bit..I can only speak for myself..but personally I like the forums..there are some cool folk here and I like the banter. $0.02 | |||
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"Theres no easy fix, its like a berievment, and you have to deal with it the best you can. Take one day at a time,.and I hope the sun shines for you again soon xx" Nail on head! Really does feel like a bereavement! Thankyou for everyones replys and private messages! I would like to say as in my original post! I know this isnt a dating site, and that is not what I was looking for! It just developed, and largely due to the fact he was the one that did all the running! And in answer to another post, I am seperated nearly 4 years now and getting divorced so class myself as single not married xxxxx | |||
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"I know my words were harsh and I didn't sugar coat it. It's not easy to be hard and focused, we are not robots and we do feel. It will get better in time. Focus on the new fun experiences just waiting to happen rather than those lost. It isn't easy I know " I don't sugarcoat either hun, I completely get what you said x | |||
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"Serious advice sought, how do you get over having your heart ripped out by someone you met on here! 18 months we were together! He went off with someone else on here! I realise this is not the place to go looking for a loving relationship, but I wasn't looking for that when we met! It just developed! He and her both have there own profiles on here and a couples profile! I know he doesn't deserve my love or my pain and tears, but you can't help who you fall for? How do I move on?" Oh I so feel for you, im in the same position, but they dont have a profile on here....I cant move on because of all the lies he told.....In fact im going to my first counselling session this afternoon, as 5 months later i still cant handle it | |||
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"I was seeing someone quite regularly on here and for nowhere near as long as you (only a few months), but such a nice guy, I did get feelings for him. It could have gone further as we were talking about couples profile together, but I was the one who messed it up because of my feelings. It was too soon for him. He has just come back online this week after moving back to his house, I left him a message a couple of weeks ago, our last meeting together was a good 8 weeks ago. He hasnt read it, not sure if he will, I tried the staying away and not looking at his profile, I couldnt bring myself to block him in case he wanted to message me, so I do understand how you feel even though ours was a short time together. Im still holding out hope he will read my message and get in touch. But like they say, try and move on, is rough on you he has started a couple profile with someone else. Hug to you And my advice to you would be to block this man who you are still hooked on. Why on earth would you want to keep yourself available for a man who isn't interested. Have respect for yourself. You are also a married woman, there are no men on here to rescue you from an unhappy marriage. They just want sex. Don't be fooled by kind words. There are opportunities for you to have fun, but it's short term and not intended as a long term commitment " Thanks for your advice but I was just trying to help the lady poster. Im not in a unhappy marriage just a sexless one. If he had wanted just sex our first meet wouldnt have been just coffee. Hes a decent guy who knows how to treat a lady and if he does get in touch again then I will consider myself lucky as I am still on his friends list, he may get in touch but if he doesnt I will and am learning to live with it. Until you experience this sort of feeling, unless you have, you dont know what its like. Sorry just being honest, like the rest of them | |||
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"Serious advice sought, how do you get over having your heart ripped out by someone you met on here! 18 months we were together! He went off with someone else on here! I realise this is not the place to go looking for a loving relationship, but I wasn't looking for that when we met! It just developed! He and her both have there own profiles on here and a couples profile! I know he doesn't deserve my love or my pain and tears, but you can't help who you fall for? How do I move on? Oh I so feel for you, im in the same position, but they dont have a profile on here....I cant move on because of all the lies he told.....In fact im going to my first counselling session this afternoon, as 5 months later i still cant handle it " Think yourself lucky you found out he was a liar . just think how it could have been if you had not found out for months ... could have taken you to the cleaners .. and not just messed your heart up x ... I hope it go well today and you get it off your chest .. You need to wright one of them letters to him you never post to get it all out.. we live and lean I have. xx | |||
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"I was seeing someone quite regularly on here and for nowhere near as long as you (only a few months), but such a nice guy, I did get feelings for him. It could have gone further as we were talking about couples profile together, but I was the one who messed it up because of my feelings. It was too soon for him. He has just come back online this week after moving back to his house, I left him a message a couple of weeks ago, our last meeting together was a good 8 weeks ago. He hasnt read it, not sure if he will, I tried the staying away and not looking at his profile, I couldnt bring myself to block him in case he wanted to message me, so I do understand how you feel even though ours was a short time together. Im still holding out hope he will read my message and get in touch. But like they say, try and move on, is rough on you he has started a couple profile with someone else. Hug to you And my advice to you would be to block this man who you are still hooked on. Why on earth would you want to keep yourself available for a man who isn't interested. Have respect for yourself. You are also a married woman, there are no men on here to rescue you from an unhappy marriage. They just want sex. Don't be fooled by kind words. There are opportunities for you to have fun, but it's short term and not intended as a long term commitment " ^^^^^Oh this!!! | |||
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"great advice iconic..xx" Yes - Iconic's posts are always worth reading in my opinion | |||
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"It takes time , while one door closes another opens " And once the door closes make sure its well and truly locked... | |||
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"Serious advice sought, how do you get over having your heart ripped out by someone you met on here! 18 months we were together! He went off with someone else on here! I realise this is not the place to go looking for a loving relationship, but I wasn't looking for that when we met! It just developed! He and her both have there own profiles on here and a couples profile! I know he doesn't deserve my love or my pain and tears, but you can't help who you fall for? How do I move on?" | |||
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"It takes time , while one door closes another opens And once the door closes make sure its well and truly locked..." easyer said then done when seeing them here .. | |||
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"I know my words were harsh and I didn't sugar coat it. It's not easy to be hard and focused, we are not robots and we do feel. It will get better in time. Focus on the new fun experiences just waiting to happen rather than those lost. It isn't easy I know " Actually I thought your words were perfect..... | |||
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"It takes time , while one door closes another opens And once the door closes make sure its well and truly locked...easyer said then done when seeing them here .. " Just depends on each person | |||
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" but keeping an eye on what he is doing is kinda creepy, so don't do it- you are only making you're pain worse." ? | |||
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"You know what.. This not a dating site. At the same time its not an auto-pass shag fest either. But what I will say is this .... having seen numerous threads this last week of seemingly nice ladies being fucked around and I was gonna say this the other day when another lady was hurt: People are honest with others about others..but pretty damn impossibly honest with themselves about themselves. In my opinion if you go looking for a relationship (other than friendship) on a site like this...your gonna get hurt at some point. Ben xxx " She said she wasnt looking for a relationship, it just happened. You cant help who you fall for | |||
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"Firstly block them so you can't see what they are up to and won't be tempted to keep looking. Secondly take some time out to get your head sorted. No point rushing into sex Sith strangers if your head isn't straight. " | |||
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"I shall assume for the purpose of this thread that when the two of you met, you were both fully single ? If either of you weren't then I guess the phrase you reap what you sew comes into play. So again, assuming you were both single at the start : In terms of getting over it / him, find yourself diversions away from Fab, take solace in friends and family and spend your additional time with your kids doing stuff you all enjoy. Go out with your friends, build a life for yourself. What's done is done, he made his choices and you are in pain as a result - the choices bit won't change and only you can change the pain profile. So get on with it, get used to a life without him in it and stop being concerned with what he / they are up to. It is none of your business and will only serve to hurt you more. So yeah you have a few hard weeks and months ahead, but what you face is not insurmountable nor impossible. " Spot on Bussy!! I've personally never understood why people would consider introducing their children to someone they met on here? Even if there was the prospect of a relationship developing - I'm surprised many are not more wary of the potential for things to ho pear shaped and to have negative effects on kids? Most friends of mine (vanilla) with kids wouldn't dream of introducing a potential partner until the relationship was at the point where there was talk of cohabiting - or at least when someone was looking to stay over with a lot more frequency than someone met on t'internet - particularly a swingers site! But then not having kids - what do I know! | |||
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" having fun and being appreciate and desired by other men on here really is the best medicine. " it is a personal thing it may work for you, possibly not for others being desired is nice, but not being desired by the one you REALLY want can be totally devastating having someones hands and mouth on you is (generally) nice, but if they are not the hands and the mouth of the one you REALLY want, it can be just downright awful, however adept they are at it lying with someone is nice, but if they are not the one you REALLY want to lie with, it can just be awkward and uncomfortable and just as lonely as being in an empty bed that is why, for some, taking a break is by far the better option only the OP will know what will work for her long term | |||
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"I shall assume for the purpose of this thread that when the two of you met, you were both fully single ? If either of you weren't then I guess the phrase you reap what you sew comes into play. So again, assuming you were both single at the start : In terms of getting over it / him, find yourself diversions away from Fab, take solace in friends and family and spend your additional time with your kids doing stuff you all enjoy. Go out with your friends, build a life for yourself. What's done is done, he made his choices and you are in pain as a result - the choices bit won't change and only you can change the pain profile. So get on with it, get used to a life without him in it and stop being concerned with what he / they are up to. It is none of your business and will only serve to hurt you more. So yeah you have a few hard weeks and months ahead, but what you face is not insurmountable nor impossible. Spot on Bussy!! I've personally never understood why people would consider introducing their children to someone they met on here? Even if there was the prospect of a relationship developing - I'm surprised many are not more wary of the potential for things to ho pear shaped and to have negative effects on kids? Most friends of mine (vanilla) with kids wouldn't dream of introducing a potential partner until the relationship was at the point where there was talk of cohabiting - or at least when someone was looking to stay over with a lot more frequency than someone met on t'internet - particularly a swingers site! But then not having kids - what do I know!" I met my ex on a site like this and we were together for 5 years....not introducing his kids was going to be difficult since we lived together and the kids even came to live with us permanently.. Not all relationships that start on a site like this are only short term. The fact he was a controlling psycho was nothing to do with how we met lol.. | |||
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" having fun and being appreciate and desired by other men on here really is the best medicine. it is a personal thing it may work for you, possibly not for others being desired is nice, but not being desired by the one you REALLY want can be totally devastating having someones hands and mouth on you is (generally) nice, but if they are not the hands and the mouth of the one you REALLY want, it can be just downright awful, however adept they are at it lying with someone is nice, but if they are not the one you REALLY want to lie with, it can just be awkward and uncomfortable and just as lonely as being in an empty bed that is why, for some, taking a break is by far the better option only the OP will know what will work for her long term" this is so true for me.. I was meeting people but after it made me miss my ex even more. | |||
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