FabSwingers.com forum: How honest are you...

By *issHottieBottie OP Woman
over a year ago

Kent

When someone messages you and you check out their profile and face pic and think they really aren't for you and so you message back thanks but you aren't interested...then they ask why not??

What next???

Ignore it, block them for not getting the message, reply with the generic 'you just aren't what I'm looking for OR are you sometimes tempted to tell them exactly why??? Lol xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just tell them there not for us and if they ask why tell them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We tell them exactly why! If they want to know we will tell them but we do it in the nicest way possible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell them tbh, i see it as, if you read our profile you would know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's worse when you reply "thanks but not for us" and then they reply back with "WHY?" Lol

Do you then tell them the honest truth as they have actually asked for the reasons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just usually say I really appreciated their mail/offer/interest burg they're just not what I'm after, wish them well on their future endeavours and once sent I block them, saves both of us from future mails.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I generally bend the truth a little. You live too far away for regular meets....... your profile tells me that we do not seek the same.........but I do usually reply in some form.

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By *issHottieBottie OP Woman
over a year ago

Kent

"It's worse when you reply "thanks but not for us" and then they reply back with "WHY?" Lol

Do you then tell them the honest truth as they have actually asked for the reasons

This is what I mean?? No thanks your not my type. Why???

Errrrr.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ignore it and block them, because if they say that then its obvious i was right about them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My usual response is in the line of, "Sorry, however, I am not interested in whatever you may have to offer. Therefore, to prevent further contacts and wasting each other's time and efforts, I shall block you."

And then I block.

No come back after that.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 20/05/13 14:23:26]

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By *issHottieBottie OP Woman
over a year ago

Kent

"My usual response is in the line of, "Sorry, however, I am not interested in whatever you may have to offer. Therefore, to prevent further contacts and wasting each other's time and efforts, I shall block you."

And then I block.

No come back after that.

Might have to adopt that approach pearl!!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I only ever respond to men who have obviously read my profile and meet what I'm looking for on paper.

Therefore I don't see it necessary to knock their confidence with my brutal truth: just because they don't float my boat doesn't mean they need a bell to warn people of their approach.

I simply say they're not what I'm looking for at this time, but with their nice smile/twinkle in their eye/nice attitude they're bound to have loads of fun opportunities.

Not had a nasty response yet.

Don't see it as being dishonest, just treating people how I'd like to be treated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just glad to get a response tbh. If it's a no, after the tears, I just gather I'm not their cup of tea. Although I think this site is full of coffee drinkers unfortunately

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im always tempted to tell the proper truth but still just say thanks but no thanks and i don't explain why.

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

If I have responded and said you are not what I am looking for and they still respond and say 'in what way', I tell them the truth. I am specific on my profile of what I seek and that I won't budge ...

If they can't read, not my problem...

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

If the reason I'm saying no is because I've seen something on their profile that specifically goes against something I've asked for on mine, then I have no hesitation in giving it to them.

'It says on my profile I am only interested in local meets and you live in Glasgow!/are a smoker/a 1 inch wonder...'

If I just plain don't fancy them then I'll tend to say they're not my type. If they still press for details, I will be brutally honest, or if they're being narky I'll just block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, if they've clearly not read my profile I tell them that's why I've said no, but if it's coz they're ugly as sin then I'll make something up coz I don't think I could ever tell someone that's what I honestly thought of them!

I'm all for little white lies when it's simply to avoid hurting someone's feelings. Overall in my life I'm very honest with those close to me because they know I'm being honest for their own good, but white lies to everyone else!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

always honest why lie

i no some folk do its there choice

but not for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who wants the truth? I want fantasy with a fairy tale blow job I mean ending

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What next???

The act of you politely telling them your not inteterested should be more than enough.

You should not need to explain yourself.

Its the one thing I dont understand...

When people say "why?"

Its like they are saying "how dare you have any preferences..how dare you!"

Yeah. I dont see the need for an explanation as long as you have been polite about it.

Ben xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone's really not my cup of tea I'll block straight after saying no.

If its a 'not right now - maybe later/another time' I'll be clear as to why not.

Often I'll do a pre-empive strike! If a profile definitely isn't my type but they're theoretically able to contact me should they choose - I'll block prior to any contact being made.

To me - as well as being a reactive tool for use when dealing with clueless fucktards and abusive idiots - the block button is just another filter!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I generally just say that they aren't my type and then block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone wants the truth...... they cant handle the truth!!!

Forget which film its from

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone wants the truth...... they cant handle the truth!!!

Forget which film its from

A Few Good Men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men mail me all the time i just say do you realise im gay? Then most dont mail back butnow n then you get the chancers lol ... If i wanted a man id be bi which im not! Lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/05/13 15:56:20]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really annoys me when men ask why when I tell them they arnt what im looking for, I don't see why they need to know, the fact I don't want to meet them should be enough, I feel it puts me on the spot, so if they ever do mail back asking why I tell them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I give in saying much at all now! If say no I just get abuse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I give in saying much at all now! If say no I just get abuse

you staying quiet? ... can't see it lasting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I block in advance when I come across peeps I have no intention of knowing, let alone meeting for fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im honest, and if someone sends a decent email and asks why not, I might tell them; however, if I've said no thanks I dont want another email

Mostly they get declined because their profile really doesn't match mine, and they clearly didn't read mine. If they cant be bothered to read my profile, why should I bother

I actually block more from the forums at the mo, as many people show their real thoughts and feelings on here, and if they dont match mine, I'll block to prevent contact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I've replied and said ' no thank you ' but they persist with more mail Ill ignore it.

I've already replied and said no so don't feel the need to elaborate

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By *ysteryboatMan
over a year ago

Brighton

So let me get this straight -

A man asks for a meet - you check his profile and (for some reason) you don't want to meet - you inform him of this fact and he replies "why not?"

That's what you're saying, is it not ?

Could I just point out that the correct reply to the "why not?" question is "oh all right then - come over as soon as you like, roger me until you cum and then fuck off without a word, leaving me unsatisfied".

And you wonder why some single males are abusive. Well if you don't treat them right . . .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I block in advance when I come across peeps I have no intention of knowing, let alone meeting for fun.

we have the same policy as you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's much easier to block as it saves your and their time .

Nobody wants chapter and verse as to why they are not for you - despite what some say .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the message shows they have not read my profile I just ignore it. If the message is nice it gets a nice reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the word to sum up the people who ask why is desperate!

If you ask someone out on a date in the real world and they say no, you don't run after them asking why, that would just be a bit freaky, so why behave differently on fab?

For me, it is very nice if I have messaged someone and they tell me why they are not interested, it's always good to get a no response so I know they actually read the mail, but I also appreciate most women and couples on here are deluged with messages and don't have time to give full reasoned arguments. We either click or don't.

As a "slightly above average white cock". There is enough profiles on here demanding big black cock to damage my ego, I don't need to chase people to tell me what else is wrong with me!!!!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I don't get many asking why. I think they're relieved to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I give in saying much at all now! If say no I just get abuse

you staying quiet? ... can't see it lasting

Shush you !!

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By * control youMan
over a year ago

swindon

Sits nd says nothin its safer specially when women are ranting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually I don't reply at all but if someone pays me a compliment or comes across as a nice guy and polite then I would message just saying 'thank you for your message' and then I don't tend to reply to anything further.

I do not feel the need to tell people why if they don't appeal to me. There's no need and I feel it's rude too. I just don't get into conversations with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just ignore it but then if they see ive ignored them and havent taken the hint and try again, ill block straight away. It is one of my pet hates though, its not rocket science lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm polite. I have many ways of saying 'no thank you' that don't seem to offend people.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I'm polite. I have many ways of saying 'no thank you' that don't seem to offend people. "
100% seconded

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll just keep badgering cutensassy1 until she eventually gives in, lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have only had a 'why' on 2 or 3 occasions, to which I didn't reply.

Most men are grateful for the 'no thanks' and are surprised to get a reply at all in my experience.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"I'm polite. I have many ways of saying 'no thank you' that don't seem to offend people. 100% seconded

100% thirded

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll just keep badgering cutensassy1 until she eventually gives in, lol!"

your obsessed.. u need a hobby or something haha

go have a wank and then you might start to think straight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll just keep badgering cutensassy1 until she eventually gives in, lol!

your obsessed.. u need a hobby or something haha

go have a wank and then you might start to think straight

Obsessed??? Can you blame me, you're amazing, lovely, beautiful, sexy, funny..........I can go on, but you're right, its obsession, grrrrr!!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I say no thank you.

If they ask why I just delete or if they seem nice I answer..... with this.

Don't ask.

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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset

It's just so subjective. I guess most of us would be hard pressed to explain our preferences. One persons Fugly is another's face of character, etc.

Thanks, but no thanks is enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps some people are just looking feedback. I'm sure most people can handle that they aren't your type. If that is so then say so. Maybe its how they ask or not enough info on the profile. But us uglies can handle it, I wonder can the body beautiful on here so smugly writing off the triers handle rejection!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm polite. I have many ways of saying 'no thank you' that don't seem to offend people. "

I'm polite too.. Maybe just attact the fuckwits

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By *uthTVDerbysTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

Sincerity ... true sincerity and honesty is the key ..

If you can fake that ... you've cracked it

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By *issHottieBottie OP Woman
over a year ago

Kent

"Perhaps some people are just looking feedback. I'm sure most people can handle that they aren't your type. If that is so then say so. Maybe its how they ask or not enough info on the profile. But us uglies can handle it, I wonder can the body beautiful on here so smugly writing off the triers handle rejection! "

I have said thanks but no thanks, then asked why. Replied your just not my type. Still asked why? Lol. It's like some people want you to be horrible. I've also been asked after conversations like that if they can see my face pic... Errr no! (Get the feeling that won't end well) lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that's the guy who thinks because you swing you must want to shag a goat in the shuck. I still advocate honesty! In that case perhaps a little more brutal honesty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No-one messages me so I don't get the opportunity to cast my honest yet diplomatic responses

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