FabSwingers.com forum: Distance

By *sWyld OP Woman
45 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Does distance put you off?

I get a lot of messages from people 100s of miles away and it seems a bit pointless. My days of trapsing round the UK to meet people are likely over. If someone from 100s of miles away wanted to come here it would feel like far too much pressure.

So what's the appeal?

I get it if you're planning to be somewhere but would you really go 300 miles plus to meet for a social only??

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By *parkle1974Woman
45 weeks ago

Leeds

I love a road trip so no, distance doesn't put me off. For a 1st meet though (which is always a social), I'd arrange to meet halfway x

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

I've not travelled a long distance for a meet or social. But I may do in the near future 🤞

But if I'm messaging someone at the other end of the country it's not in an expectation of a meet, it's either to have some virtual fun, just chat or show some appreciation, because I like it when people say nice things about me, I assume others do as well.

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By *lassy2Couple
45 weeks ago

sutton Coldfield

We travel a 400 mile round trip to someone we met on here, we have a great connection with them, it’s friendship now that’s foremost. They also live in a beautiful area so great for weekends. Distance no problem for us connection is key!

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

No, i’m not doing the Grand Tour of Britain for a pub lunch and a knee trembler.

In my late 20’s to mid 30’s yeah - had car, would travel. But no, not these days. Not for casual sex. For love? Maybe.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
45 weeks ago

Brum

Totally, within reason.

We’re happy to do 50-100 to meet people half way but unless we’re going somewhere that happens to coincide with a fabber we’d like to meet then anything more is extremely unlikely.

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By *allipygousMan
45 weeks ago

Leicester

I'd never cross more than one county line for a social. I have in the past, and would again, regularly done a 400+ mile round trip to stay with someone for several days after weeks of chat. Thinking about it, she was the only person I've met in person as a result of using these forums.

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By *hortieWoman
45 weeks ago

Northampton

Yes, distance 100% puts me off.

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By *ealitybitesMan
45 weeks ago

Belfast

Yes it would put me off. I really only have one free day a week and have no intention of driving long distances for a social.

I've found over the years on fab that travelling a distance creates expectations.

I've seen people say that those who did the travelling expected something for the effort they had made but in my own experience it has been the other way around.

I once drove 3½ hours to a meet and her expectation was that if I had done it once there was nothing stopping me from doing it every week. When I refused it created all sorts of drama.

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

I love getting out and about, seeing new places etc…so for the right person I’d gladly travel.

But half way for a social first 😊

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By *rinceless PrincessWoman
45 weeks ago

Gloucester

Yes it puts me off

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By *parky123Man
45 weeks ago

Lincoln

Anything more than an hours travel each way is putting a lot of stress on at least one party, particularly as you might not hit it off. I see the OP is in Edinburgh, I imagine there’s diminishing choices as you get further North than that

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By *ovetolick78Man
45 weeks ago

The Shire

Distance doesn’t effect my decision, if I get on with someone im happy to travel or meet half way if they’re rather.

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By *enda83Man
45 weeks ago

north

These days I’m not sure I’d even get up off the couch and answer the door if someone was coming over never mind drive 50+ miles haha

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By *issmorganWoman
45 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Yes, it puts me off.

When I get winks or messages from those absolutely miles away, I just think why.

I wouldn't travel miles for a social & like you, I wouldn't want anyone to travel miles to meet me, for what would just be a drink & chat initially.

I'd always feel like they'd want more than that, because they've travelled.

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By *hesubtlegentMan
45 weeks ago

surrey

I’d travel in a car for an hour for a meet but I won’t use public transport that far. From south London to central up as far as King’s Cross. That’s for socials.

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By *eliWoman
45 weeks ago

Yes and no.

I think the appeal is that if the connection is strong/you really fancy each other; it's better to travel hundreds of miles than to settle for someone local. Or they've already messaged everyone in their area.

If I like someone and there's a good friendship forming, I'd be happy to travel up to a couple of hours. Whilst combining it with general adventuring.

In fifteen/twenty years I'll probably say fuck it and stay local.

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By *weetiepie99Woman
45 weeks ago

cardiff

No, it doesn't put me off. I have the time, I have a car, I love a road trip. Always half way though for someone new

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By *morousCouple8Couple
45 weeks ago

Cumbria

We’re in Cumbria, one of the least density populated counties so there is a distance expectation here already I guess. We travel for theatre, for healthcare, even for kids shoe shopping 🤣

Though people I’ve been chatting to who are further away, I’d sooner suggest a club night then if we don’t hit it off, there are other options for us and then 🤭

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By *estructionDollyWoman
45 weeks ago

Manchester

"Does distance put you off?

So what's the appeal?

I get it if you're planning to be somewhere but would you really go 300 miles plus to meet for a social only??"

This is my dilemma. I don't drive, and trains/hotels are so expensive.

I don't know if I want to have sex with someone til I meet them, I need that spark you get when you see them in person. Even if I fancy them in photos, I might meet them and not "feel" it. I don't want to spend £70 on a train and then £100 for a hotel to get there and there's zero chemistry. And they might not like me either! It's a lot of money for a social.

And when they say it's fine, they're happy to travel, I feel pressure then. Like, it would be so rude of me to turn around after they've made so much effort and say "actually, I don't want to have sex" 🫣 if they are in my area for work or something, I don't feel the same pressure and that's fine. But if they specifically travel 100+ miles to see me I feel like there is an expectation it will be more than a social. And if we hit it off I'm happy to have sex. But I won't guarantee it.

I'm happy to travel when it's someone I've met before, for instance at a club event, and we know we fancy eachother IRL.

So yes, distance absolutely does put me off sadly. I've had messaged off profiles that intrigued me in the past, but when I've seen the location I've not pursued it as it's just too far.

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By *ralextacyMan
45 weeks ago

Cardiff

I don't see the harm in flirtatious messaging. Meeting wouldn't be possible but exciting doesn't just have to be physical.

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By *layfullsamMan
45 weeks ago

Solihull

Distance wouldn’t put me off, sadly lots only want local people not people visiting the area

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

Yes distance is definitely a factor on both couples and solo accounts. Unless we’re meeting at a club for social/play then doesn’t matter where your from but if it’s to house /hotel not traveling for miles

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By *urvyMilf4BlackMenWoman
45 weeks ago

Norwich

I get men contacting me from hundreds of miles away. It does put me off too as it feels like it's a lot of pressure.

I have meets and it's surprising the number of guys that get funny when you ask for a social first.

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By *r_Mrs.DSCouple
45 weeks ago

Voldsøy

Distance is hard work, but sometimes it's worth it. We don't want local.

I wouldn't for a regular social, but we do for group socials and have met people to take things further with at those. I like the getaway, and to make a day/night of it with someone there's a connection with.

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By *valanche1001Man
45 weeks ago

Leeds

The distance I’d be willing to travel would depend on the level of connection. If there’s the opportunity to spend some time together outside of the bedroom and I really clicked with the other beyond the horizontal dancing stuff, I’d be happy to travel.

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

Distance didn't out me off, however there had to be great communication all the time, I've had a meet arranged on my previous profile I took the train from Nottingham to Scotland and they aired me. I will enjoyed my time up there, but was fairly annoyed I can't lie.

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By *vaRoseWoman
45 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

No distance doesn’t put me off and I rely on trains or am a bus-wanker most of the time. For the right person it’s worth it

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By *hunky GentMan
45 weeks ago

Bedford

I'd like to say it doesn't put me off, but finding free time which could include 6-7 hours driving is difficult.

Especially if it's just a social.

There's a couple of ladies and couples I'd love to meet from here, but I need to finish my teleportation machine first.

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By *ove2LurveCouple
45 weeks ago

Dartford

We will (and have) travelled a lot further for a 'play' meet than for a 'social' where if there's a fair distance we would expect to meet somewhere in the middle between us. If the other couple refuse that suggestion, then we'll just say OK and jog on...

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By *lyingsolo1000Woman
45 weeks ago

Reading

I travel for work so occasionally pop up in unexpected places or end up being close to someone which makes a meet feasible. I wouldn't travel more than 90 minutes for a social unless the chemistry was off the scale in chats.

Distance doesn't put me off chatting though as friendships made online can be as strong as those in person as long as the communication is good.

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By *hunky GentMan
45 weeks ago

Bedford

"I travel for work so occasionally pop up in unexpected places or end up being close to someone which makes a meet feasible. I wouldn't travel more than 90 minutes for a social unless the chemistry was off the scale in chats.

Distance doesn't put me off chatting though as friendships made online can be as strong as those in person as long as the communication is good."

You never know where things may lead.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
45 weeks ago

Wirral

I have travelled across the country before now - if I get on well with someone and I want to meet them, distance isn't a huge issue for me.

I will only consider travel if we've had a huge amount of conversation and we both think we'll have a good time in each other's company, even if sex is completely off the table once we meet in person.

My current FWB is based in London but we meet in hotels all over the place and we make it work. A lovely weekend away with a hot bloke and a heap of passion? Yes please thank you very much.

I tend not to meet people who are in my area for work as every time I do I regret it, plus I am looking for something ongoing rather than a one-off (which work travel tends to be).

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By *ortheastFarmerMan
45 weeks ago

Northumberland

I dont mind a bit of distance, gives me a reason to jump in the pride and joy and go for a drive. Ive done a few that have been 3 to 4 hour drives just for the meet.

This is why I like a good chat with people, to make sure we do click, last thing I want is to waste anyone's time. I also genuinely dont mind covering most of the distance either. Had some offer to get trains etc and meet half way but ill happily just do the full distance

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By *aughtyPeepzMan
45 weeks ago

Nottigham

Ive definitely found my location hard since my move to Greece

I rely now on online fun, pics and videos....and forums

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By *lyingsolo1000Woman
45 weeks ago

Reading

[Removed by poster at 30/07/25 10:13:52]

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By *lyingsolo1000Woman
45 weeks ago

Reading

Distance doesn't put me off chatting though as friendships made online can be as strong as those in person as long as the communication is good.

You never know where things may lead.

What could you possibly mean by that

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By *hunky GentMan
45 weeks ago

Bedford

Distance doesn't put me off chatting though as friendships made online can be as strong as those in person as long as the communication is good.

You never know where things may lead.

What could you possibly mean by that

Well....... errrrrm.......

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By *uckingfell59Man
45 weeks ago

Doncaster

I live permanently on my Narrowboat boat so could be anywhere if I wanted, just can’t get there fast lol

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By *eroLondonMan
45 weeks ago

Mayfair

The Fåb Curse™ has always been a spectre and a bane of my Fab life. Nearly everyone I've met have been 100s of miles away, far far away from London.

I'm ambivalent about this: in one way I'm not put off because the lure and attraction of wonderful conversations that I have (and the chemistry) gives me the 'drive' to venture further afield to make those physical connections.

On the other hand I'm becoming increasingly weary with the tedium of long distance engagements, the protracted planning, aligning diaries and the logistics.

Recently my job is requiring me to travel as far as Sheffield these days, not often, but enough to 'allow' the other person to meet me half way for a social or whatever.

It shouldn't be this difficult.

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By *reston DaveMan
45 weeks ago

Preston

Distance shouldn't be a barrier, I've made good friends over the years. Some who I have never met, others who I have met socially while in their area with work with no pressure or expectation. I guess it depends on the individual

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
45 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

If I happen to be travelling near someone I'm already wanting to bone, fantastic, I'll do that.

But I'm not making a specific journey to meet someone I've never met in person before and don't know the chemistry with.

And I'm not going to start talking to someone based purely on them being conveniently located where I'm travelling to.

I don't want strangers travelling long distances to meet me because it does create an expectation of something being owed, and that at the back of my brain would turn me off completely. I also don't have any interest in being someone's convenient fuckhole when they happen to be travelling through the area.

For someone I'm really into, I'll travel 💜

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By *aFemmeCoquetteWoman
45 weeks ago

Somewhere in the middle not the.....

Sure if the connection is there im willing to figure it out 🤔

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