FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Initiating plans

Jump to newest
 

By *sStephenPickle OP   Man
2 days ago

Ends

What makes you initiate plans with someone rather than waiting for them to?

Does it matter if you’re usually the one who initiates the plans (assuming they’re always very keen to arrange when you do initiate)?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ixie888Woman
2 days ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme (NOT Tyne ffs!)


"What makes you initiate plans with someone rather than waiting for them to?

Does it matter if you’re usually the one who initiates the plans (assuming they’re always very keen to arrange when you do initiate)?"

A good question. I hate to admit it but it does matter to me. I enjoy being "chased" so when I feel like the responsibility of initiating plans falls to me all the time I wind up feeling like I'm doing the legwork, mismatched energy and it turns me off people quite quickly. Reminds me of carrying the mental load which I don't want to do anymore, I have enough of that in my vanilla life. Perhaps I shouldn't be such a diva

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
2 days ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I'm happy to make suggestions. Equally I'm happy for someone else to.

If I feel I'm putting in an uneven level of effort and there's signs of apathy the other end then I'll just stop and back off completely.

Equally though if someone is being pushy and appear in some kind of rush I find it just as off putting. 🤷‍♂️

There needs to be balance.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inger_SnapWoman
2 days ago

Hampshire

When I get fed up of waiting.

And I've dropped enough hints.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mmaleiaWoman
2 days ago

Trowbridge

When I start thinking they’re just here for a penpal

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
2 days ago

Carlisle usually

Usually seeing something that I think we'll both enjoy 💜

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondonMan
2 days ago

Covent Garden

When it comes to Fab it's always been me who has broached the idea to meet, particularly when it comes to repeat 'meets'. Women are keen but rarely/never initiate anything (from experience). I don't know why. Perhaps someone could kindly clarify... ...?

Whenever I suggest a social or a date the woman's response is always an unflinching "yes" or similar words of agreement. When they're so agreeable so quickly it makes me wonder why on earth they didn't suggest it first!

I feel that if I don't initiate then probably nothing will happen, things will just drift for weeks or months and perhaps just fizzle out altogether.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hechonkyduoCouple
2 days ago

Café Leblanc, Stourbridge

We find taking initiative makes things easier as they likely dont want to come off as pushy or too eager.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *og and MuseCouple
2 days ago

Dubai & Nottingham

When ready to meet again? Is it a trick question?….

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being the proactive one in a relationship.

Mr

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ucka39Man
2 days ago

Newcastle

Depending how the communication has been following, temptation gets the better of either one

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ovetolick78Man
2 days ago

Bagend

Can back fire tho if you try to find out information about them to make the meet more comfortable.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he MinionMan
2 days ago

.


"I'm happy to make suggestions. Equally I'm happy for someone else to.

If I feel I'm putting in an uneven level of effort and there's signs of apathy the other end then I'll just stop and back off completely.

Equally though if someone is being pushy and appear in some kind of rush I find it just as off putting. 🤷‍♂️

There needs to be balance. "

I'm in agrement with you here Obi, it can be a fine balance.

I have chatted to a few people for a while and the idea of a meet has never come up where as others its within the first few messages. Sometimes me, sometimes them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *acey_RedWoman
2 days ago

Liverpool

I have no issue initiating plans but I don't like it if I feel like it's always me with a particular person and then I'll usually stop bothering. I like it when it feels equal and there's some times I've done the leg work but some times that they have. Sometimes with a new guy however, I will leave it to them as a gauge for their level of effort and commitment to the plans. Also planning makes me excited so it stings more if you're let down at short notice when you've made all the plans.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *lderflower_AppleWoman
2 days ago

Basingstoke

If it's a new person that I want to meet, I have no problem suggesting we meet up. It's a pretty good way to gauge whether that feeling is reciprocated, or whether they simply want to chat.

If it's someone I've met before (even non-Fab friends), I will admit I get resentful if it's always me initiating get togethers, and I have actually ended so called friendships in the past due to what I've perceived to be lack of effort or interest from the other party.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top