FabSwingers.com forum: parental responsibility

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

After the McCann thread...

When on holiday in Tenerife last year a child was dragged from the pool and needed resuscitation...

Today a 5 yr old drowns in a holiday pool.

When will parents realise life guards are not provided in many hotel/resorts and their child's safety is their responsibility...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never leave my child anywhere unless there is PROPER care ... and I won't do because she is my child and my responsibility

End of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think they do realise it. It doesn't mean that people don't make mistakes, or have lapses in judgement.

I'm sure any parent who feels responsible for the disappearance/loss of their child is eternally racked with guilt as a consequence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now when we go on Holls, we try to find Adult only hotels, sick of looking out for kids, while parents get plastered

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I never leave my child anywhere unless there is PROPER care ... and I won't do because she is my child and my responsibility

End of"

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

some can barely take responsibility for themselves on holidays, let alone a child.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we go on holiday we don't even leave our children in holiday clubs. If they want to go that's fine, but we stay with them . We can't believe the amount of people who take their kids to the kids club and dump them there and bugger off out from the hotel. Soo so wrong but that's just my opinion

Her xx

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

I watch my daughter like a hawk on holiday near the pools whereas my ex would lie back and say there's plenty of people around!!! Hence I do not allow him to take her on holiday!! Some people shouldn't be allowed to be parents!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not just on holidays.

How many times have you seen young (under 10) kids wandering round the streets late at night.

Used to be a sound/lighting engineer and coming home in the early hours, would regularly see young kids wandering the streets.

Some parents dont care as long as the kids are not making work for them, then they can come and go at will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I watch my daughter like a hawk on holiday near the pools whereas my ex would lie back and say there's plenty of people around!!! Hence I do not allow him to take her on holiday!! Some people shouldn't be allowed to be parents!! "
disgraceful. Who are you to decide where the girl's father takes her? What would you say if he didn't "allow" YOU to take her on holiday? You sound like a bitter spiteful ex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I watch my daughter like a hawk on holiday near the pools whereas my ex would lie back and say there's plenty of people around!!! Hence I do not allow him to take her on holiday!! Some people shouldn't be allowed to be parents!! disgraceful. Who are you to decide where the girl's father takes her? What would you say if he didn't "allow" YOU to take her on holiday?

You sound like a bitter spiteful ex"

Hey thats a bit harsh! Didnt u read the comment wot he had said to her about their child near the pool? I wldnt want my child going on holiday if they had a father as irresponsible as him either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I watch my daughter like a hawk on holiday near the pools whereas my ex would lie back and say there's plenty of people around!!! Hence I do not allow him to take her on holiday!! Some people shouldn't be allowed to be parents!! disgraceful. Who are you to decide where the girl's father takes her? What would you say if he didn't "allow" YOU to take her on holiday? You sound like a bitter spiteful ex"

why shouldn't she stop him if he has openly said don't worry there are plenty of people around if my ex said that i would go mad because those people don't know your kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I watch my daughter like a hawk on holiday near the pools whereas my ex would lie back and say there's plenty of people around!!! Hence I do not allow him to take her on holiday!! Some people shouldn't be allowed to be parents!! disgraceful. Who are you to decide where the girl's father takes her? What would you say if he didn't "allow" YOU to take her on holiday? You sound like a bitter spiteful ex"

Sounds like a responsible mother to me

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I watch my daughter like a hawk on holiday near the pools whereas my ex would lie back and say there's plenty of people around!!! Hence I do not allow him to take her on holiday!! Some people shouldn't be allowed to be parents!! disgraceful. Who are you to decide where the girl's father takes her? What would you say if he didn't "allow" YOU to take her on holiday?

You sound like a bitter spiteful ex

Hey thats a bit harsh! Didnt u read the comment wot he had said to her about their child near the pool? I wldnt want my child going on holiday if they had a father as irresponsible as him either"

Fact of the matter is, do you think his cavilier attitude only manifests itself on holiday?!! Of course not, he sounds irresponsible BUT that's who she picked to father her child AND the child has the right to spend time with both parents.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Family friendly holidays ie butlins or have had some great caravan holidays. I hate to see parents spralled out on sunbeds while the kids are screaming in the buggy that is not a holiday x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry to say it, but i think some parents are just careless.

they take too many chances, how many times do you hear about kids drowning in fish ponds. if you have got kids you shouldnt have a fish pond.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People are stupid!....anyone who leaves a 5 year old alone in a pool or anywhere for that matter wants stringing up in my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see the parents of the 5yr old are in the national newspapers today wineing about the hotel being to blame for the death of their child due to no lifeguards!

Nothing like parents taking responsibility for their kids eh!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

We go on lots of beach holidays and whilst one reads or sunbathed or chills, the other watches the kids. We used to put bright hats on them too when they were younger. Easier now they are older but still check.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We go on lots of beach holidays and whilst one reads or sunbathed or chills, the other watches the kids. We used to put bright hats on them too when they were younger. Easier now they are older but still check. "

Exactly what we used to do and when ive been on my own with mine always been in with them or sat on the side watching and they are good swimmers.

Its a skill i insisted on and had my lil un 2 years of lessons...at 5 she wore a life vest its crazy how some parents are so careless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly what we used to do and when ive been on my own with mine always been in with them or sat on the side watching and they are good swimmers.

Its a skill i insisted on and had my lil un 2 years of lessons...at 5 she wore a life vest its crazy how some parents are so careless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I watch my daughter like a hawk on holiday near the pools whereas my ex would lie back and say there's plenty of people around!!! Hence I do not allow him to take her on holiday!! Some people shouldn't be allowed to be parents!! disgraceful. Who are you to decide where the girl's father takes her? What would you say if he didn't "allow" YOU to take her on holiday? You sound like a bitter spiteful ex"

She is a responsible mother who cares about the safety of her child that's who she is. She has every right to make a decision to protect the welfare of her child.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I feel children are the responsibility of the parent who cares for them at that moment in time. If I had had the slightest doubt their dad did not apply similar standards of care as I do I would have fought tooth and nail to protect mine - not because of a power battle but to protect the vulnerable. Fortunately, my ex and I saw and still see things in teh same way and put thei safety and well being first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cant swim so never go anywhere near a pool so neither did my kids, so there was never any chance of them drowning, we never sat pool side on holiday lol

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By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa

There is of course instances where no matter how careful parents are accidents happen, my niece ran away from her mother when she was 4 and purposely jumped in the pool which happened to be the deep end......she was fine as they were right after her, but she was just being purposely defiant as some children can be ...........

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"There is of course instances where no matter how careful parents are accidents happen, my niece ran away from her mother when she was 4 and purposely jumped in the pool which happened to be the deep end......she was fine as they were right after her, but she was just being purposely defiant as some children can be ...........

A"
Absolutely agree with you - as a parent you can only do so much. I used to think, when mine were young, that all I could ever do was "my best" and trying to be the best possible parent. Of course different parents have different ideas what constitutes a good parent - in my world as long as they genuinely try to do that, try to be there for the kids that is good enough for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

AAbsolutely agree with you - as a parent you can only do so much. I used to think, when mine were young, that all I could ever do was "my best" and trying to be the best possible parent. Of course different parents have different ideas what constitutes a good parent - in my world as long as they genuinely try to do that, try to be there for the kids that is good enough for me.

Totally agree no matter how much yo watch or warn accidents happen....But she was fine as her parents were watching her

...one of my boys almost got knocked over as he plled his hand free and almost ran under a car managed to grab him just in time never had the wind taken out of me so quick i full on sat on the floor n cried and they looked at me like i was some sort of emotional wreck lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Accidents can happen will never forget when my youngest was 4 we was on a caravan holiday in the pool at end of session she had got out with me my eldest was still in the pool youngest had taken her arm bands off but went to the edge to call big sis out. And some big kids knocked her in and she did go under. Life guards were amazing just saying it can take a split second for this to happen. Next morning first thing she said was can we go swimming. It took me a year to go back in the water with her but I did get her swimming lessons. I was lucky and she lives to tell the tail these people have lost a daughter even harder is that she was a prem baby with lots of complications and to loose her at the age of 5 is just tragic x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have just come back from Barcelona and would say in the main, most parents were really aware of their kids and where they were at all times if they weren't in the pool with them.

I tried to relax and read while she was in the pool and gave up - I'd read a sentence and check where she was etc

They move so fast!

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By *andm288Couple
over a year ago

oxford

I am not a parent myself but I am a step parent and I will watch my step children like a hawk, when they are with us. To keep them safe, I know their dad is doing this at all times but I don't understand parents who don't do this in my eyes they shouldn't really be a parent

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

"I watch my daughter like a hawk on holiday near the pools whereas my ex would lie back and say there's plenty of people around!!! Hence I do not allow him to take her on holiday!! Some people shouldn't be allowed to be parents!! disgraceful. Who are you to decide where the girl's father takes her? What would you say if he didn't "allow" YOU to take her on holiday?

You sound like a bitter spiteful ex

Hey thats a bit harsh! Didnt u read the comment wot he had said to her about their child near the pool? I wldnt want my child going on holiday if they had a father as irresponsible as him either

To be perfectly honest only I know the facts of the matter and don't quote to me about children having rights to both parents!! Her father has turned into the most irresponsible uncaring individual since leaving as he simply became bored with responsibility therefore left it behind. I try to ensure they have a relationship but his idea of it is to have her less than 48 hours each month and then does very little with her when he does! And as I know his idea of a holiday is to lie in the sun asleep tll he reaches the David Dickinson shade of skin leaving other people to watch out for his daughter then I have every right to want to protect my child!!

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

"I watch my daughter like a hawk on holiday near the pools whereas my ex would lie back and say there's plenty of people around!!! Hence I do not allow him to take her on holiday!! Some people shouldn't be allowed to be parents!! disgraceful. Who are you to decide where the girl's father takes her? What would you say if he didn't "allow" YOU to take her on holiday? You sound like a bitter spiteful ex"

Lol the only bitter one sounds like you!!! I'm certainly as far from a bitter spiteful ex as you can get and i pretty much have to force him to see his daughter as he basically washed his hands of her and any responsibility when he left. As her mother and as the full time parent I have every right to decide where she goes and who with!!! And for the record he has several holidays a year and not once ever even asked if he could take her with him anyway as that would be too hard work as he can't even manage to have her for more than 48 hours in a whole month!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It doesn't mean that people don't make mistakes, or have lapses in judgement."

Excuses all the time? you have children by who ever you are responsible for that child no one else is.

Responsibility is a very poor word in the UK these days and any excuse is more accepted, if you cannot be responsible for yourself and your child do not have them.

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By *ex4unowCouple
over a year ago

near you

The first thing my wife daid was how awful the second thing was why a5year old was not in school school

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When we go on holiday we don't even leave our children in holiday clubs. If they want to go that's fine, but we stay with them . We can't believe the amount of people who take their kids to the kids club and dump them there and bugger off out from the hotel. Soo so wrong but that's just my opinion

Her xx"

Spot on hun

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Just seen the parents from Egypt on TV

"There was no one in the little hut"

That will be the little hut you get towels from then will it?

If there was no lifeguard on duty, and I've never seen a lifeguard at a pool in Egypt, then surely you need to keep a closer eye on the kids.

It appears that some people are not only too thick to have kids but too thick to go abroad as well.

Unfortunately all they got from the TV presenters was agreement instead of being told the facts of life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kids are like ninjas, fast as hell. When ours were growing up they werent allowed from my sight, they had accidents as kids do. If they went out to play with thier friends I would be in the court with them.

It really boils my piss when I see little kids out playing without adult supervision.

Years ago one of my neighbors kids used to be seen walking up the road, nappy hanging down to its knees, used to take him back home,.shout for the mum, who was still in bed

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

It is a most tragic accident, I do think however that some people on here don't appreciate the ability of a small child to occasionally slip out of sight for a few seconds.

I was the most vigilant of parents, my sons well being and safety was paramount as they grew up, but I will admit to having several heart stopping moments when they as small children slipped out of sight even if it was for three or four seconds, it still frightened the hell out of me.

I think most parents will have had this happen if they are to be honest about it, as little kids can easily be out of sight for a few seconds when other children are running around playing, they are often simply shielded by another bigger child standing in front of them.

These couple of seconds can be all it takes for a small child to slip off the edge of a swimming pool into the water, or nudged into the water by another child.

We have no way of knowing how long this child slipped out of _iew of the father, it could have been five seconds....once she was at the bottom of the pool it would have been difficult to see her if the pool was busy with kids splashing around.

So maybe we should hold fire before we describe the grieving father as a bad parent.....It might not be that simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single dad, who is intending to take my kids on holiday with me alone for the first time in 14 years, I e read this thread with intrigue and disgust.....

Intrigue because it is the parents responsibility, being abroad is no where near like being at home, most kids still want to do there own thing whe away... It's not always possible. I watch my kids like a hawk regardless of where I am. Even if we're just out shopping in town. They are MY responsibility, not anyone else's!!

Disgust at some of the comments aimed at a few individuals because of the lapse attitude of an ex.... If I had the attitude I would expect not to ever see my kids again, let alone to take them abroad. Some men, and women, don't deserve to have the rights to see there kids after a split.... I believe everyone deserves the right to prove themselves as a fit parent, that goes for the 'responsible parent' who has full custody. I went through a bitter divorce and an extremely nasty custody battle for 6 years to see my kids twice a month at weekends, and for two half terms a year. I now have them full time because my ex relinquished her responsibility as there full time mum because she couldn't look after them all the time.

No body is perfect, we all make mistakes, that's what makes us human. But at the end of the day it is ultimately the parents responsibility to look after the welfare of there own child regardless of wether they are at home in everyday life, or on holiday, be it abroad or in the uk.

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

"As a single dad, who is intending to take my kids on holiday with me alone for the first time in 14 years, I e read this thread with intrigue and disgust.....

Well said and thank you and I hope you have a fabulous holiday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wish my neighbours had that attititude that their son is their responsibility instead of mine when he's playing outside I've got enough of my own to look after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For all those judgmental people on here how many people have lost sight of their child in a shop or supermarket even if it is for a second x

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

My ex also has the kids one weekend a month and every other month its only for one night. It is due to his work but there are many many other occasions he could have them but chooses not to make that effort.

He has never asked to take them on holiday as pretty sure he sees that as my responsibility. If he asked me if it was ok I would have to seriously ask myself with knowing what I know about him and his prorities if I would be happy to hand over that passport.

Total respect to the guy further up the thread who understands the responsibility of a child with you on holiday.

I am taking our kids away in the summer. When they swim they will be with me but accidents do happen.

Too many people dont see the kids as a prority and their safety too.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"It is a most tragic accident, I do think however that some people on here don't appreciate the ability of a small child to occasionally slip out of sight for a few seconds.

These couple of seconds can be all it takes for a small child to slip off the edge of a swimming pool into the water, or nudged into the water by another child.

So maybe we should hold fire before we describe the grieving father as a bad parent.....It might not be that simple"

The difference is Jane I wouldn't have been blaming anyone for my mistake. My youngest was by my side one second in Woolworths, gone the next: she'd gone of sulking because she couldn't have pic n mix.

The security guard stopped her from leaving the store. If he'd been busy elsewhere and run into the street I shudder to think what would have happened, but it would have been my fault.

Some people would blame the security guard and Woolworths!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I'm a fantastic parent too ! When ever I went out boozing I always made sure my kids had a two bar leccy fire going and a spare box of matches ..... bless them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I watch my daughter like a hawk on holiday near the pools whereas my ex would lie back and say there's plenty of people around!!! Hence I do not allow him to take her on holiday!! Some people shouldn't be allowed to be parents!! disgraceful. Who are you to decide where the girl's father takes her? What would you say if he didn't "allow" YOU to take her on holiday? You sound like a bitter spiteful ex

Sounds like a responsible mother to me"

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Meant to say I am the parent responsible for our children on average 28 days a month. If something goes wrong inevitably I will be the one dealing with the reprecussions.

I make the major decisions about our children after asking his thoughts if needed.

Luckily he is happy to not have that responsibility for our kids full time. That works to keep them safe.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"For all those judgmental people on here how many people have lost sight of their child in a shop or supermarket even if it is for a second x"

whilst not being judgemental we did that when our lad decided to play hide n seek in a clothes shop when he was 3..

he just stepped back when we were not looking, it was very quick and whilst it only lasted for about 3 to 4 minutes we were frantic till he stepped out of the clothes rail..

parents are people and people make mistakes..

if you have yet not, you will..

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