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"Whenever I'm in London and wandering through St. James, I always find myself peering at those private members' clubs. I'm talking about the really old-fashioned ones on Pall Mall, not the newer, more modern spots like Soho House. They just always grab my attention. The sheer history and culture they seem to hold are incredible. But it makes me wonder, how do they actually hold up today? Are they just old and a bit out of date, or do younger people use them too? And what do people actually do there? Is it all about quiet reading rooms and formal dinners, or is there more to it? I'm so intrigued by reading everyone's thoughts on this – positive or not. Would you even go if you got an invitation? I'd love to hear if anyone here goes on a regular basis! " It's mostly white, male and aristocracy-dominated. So you have to have certain mannerisms and elocution and not just be rich to become a member. Membership is usually passed down through private schools, inheritance and people who hang around with the gentry/peerage and you have to wait until someone dies usually decades. Often fathers will register their sons for membership upon birth. so by the time they reach 21 a space will be available. I'm a history nerd and also dating someone who when to private boarding school from military family who became a member of Lords in their late 40s who explained the membership to me. | |||
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"That's a fascinating insight, and it really hits on some of the perceptions some of us may have about these clubs! Thanks for sharing that perspective from your friend's experience. It definitely paints a picture of a very specific kind of exclusivity. It sounds like your friend's observations about the demographics (mostly white, male, aristocracy-dominated) and the traditional routes to membership (private schools, inheritance, long waiting lists, often from birth) are spot on for some of these older establishments. The idea of membership being almost a birthright, or something you wait decades for, is pretty wild in today's fast-paced world. But that also makes me wonder... is that the full picture, or is it starting to change, even subtly? I've heard some of these older clubs, facing the need to stay relevant m, have started making efforts towards some form of diversification. For instance, some (not all) now admit women as full members, which was absolutely unthinkable for most of them not so long ago. And while "old money" definitely still holds sway, are some also trying to attract a new generation of professionals – perhaps those who've made their own wealth, or who are prominent in certain fields, even if they don't have the "right" lineage. So, from your perspective, or your friend's, do you think these clubs can truly evolve, or are they fundamentally tied to that very specific heritage? And for those newer members, if they exist, what's their motivation for joining? Is it still about status and networking, or is there a genuine appreciation for the history and the unique atmosphere that you just can't find elsewhere? Or is it simply a relaxed bar, a home from home and maybe some sporting facilities. " I don't think it will change because it is based on patronage and discretion and new money often is not interested in patronage or discretion. Obviously with his Lords' membership comes access to all the cricket games. I'm assuming they all offer something different plus any links they have to military, sport, royalty, society events. Most of the private schools are predominantly white English. The guy I dated His Dad and grandfather were part of the Royal Marines and had a Knighthood and British Orders of the Realm. Obviously as a member of Lord's cricket ground, he's a cricket obsessive to the point that his parent used to give him every birthday a Wisden Cricketers' Almanack into his 40s. If you look at the English Cricket Team it is predominantly white and cricket is seen as an upper class sport...as with tennis and rowing. It's a very exclusive part of society now. No idea about the younger generations/newer members interest. Most people don't read books and even less read history books now. | |||
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". I don't think it will change because it is based on patronage and discretion and new money often is not interested in patronage or discretion. Obviously with his Lords' membership comes access to all the cricket games. I'm assuming they all offer something different plus any links they have to military, sport, royalty, society events. Most of the private schools are predominantly white English. The guy I dated His Dad and grandfather were part of the Royal Marines and had a Knighthood and British Orders of the Realm. Obviously as a member of Lord's cricket ground, he's a cricket obsessive to the point that his parent used to give him every birthday a Wisden Cricketers' Almanack into his 40s. If you look at the English Cricket Team it is predominantly white and cricket is seen as an upper class sport...as with tennis and rowing. It's a very exclusive part of society now. No idea about the younger generations/newer members interest. Most people don't read books and even less read history books now." Thats all very true. It’s all about taking the time to be a member or family rights. Not something that can be bought with new money. The MCC definitely is a must if you’re seriously into cricket. It looks like a great place for a beer while a match is on! They must feel full of very old school charm inside. | |||
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"The ones I have attended are more about whether you can afford the membership. So a real mix of people and often depends on the particular club. I’ve been to the kind that are really just a kind of private bar and relaxing space. And to others which have restaurant, bar, reading rooms and nightclub inside, as well as bedrooms if you wanted to stay overnight. That had much more a mix of ages. And is a really fun people watching spot. A lot of Russians and leggy, paid for, partners for the evening" Are these the same as we’re all talking about? They don’t seem to be purely about affordability. But it may be for some too! People watching in them just be great. A microcosm of society with a set sub-sect of it within. Which ones have you been lucky enough to go to? | |||
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"The ones I have attended are more about whether you can afford the membership. So a real mix of people and often depends on the particular club. I’ve been to the kind that are really just a kind of private bar and relaxing space. And to others which have restaurant, bar, reading rooms and nightclub inside, as well as bedrooms if you wanted to stay overnight. That had much more a mix of ages. And is a really fun people watching spot. A lot of Russians and leggy, paid for, partners for the evening Are these the same as we’re all talking about? They don’t seem to be purely about affordability. But it may be for some too! People watching in them just be great. A microcosm of society with a set sub-sect of it within. Which ones have you been lucky enough to go to? " Soho house, the arts club, Caledonian, another little one in soho but I can’t remember its name. As far as I’m aware, you’re usually “recommended” , it’s often about networking, making connections. Maybe not what you’re thinking of but they are private members clubs. I think some just aren’t as fancy or as mysterious as people think | |||
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"They are and that’s what makes them all so special. I guess the trick is finding one that makes the member feel comfortable. We’re all different, so we’re all bound to be on the look out for differing places to spend time! Still would like to venture through the doors of an older and newer club to see how they compare. If I ever get the chance to! " Here's the Wikipedia page https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_members%27_clubs_in_London | |||
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"The ones I have attended are more about whether you can afford the membership. So a real mix of people and often depends on the particular club. I’ve been to the kind that are really just a kind of private bar and relaxing space. And to others which have restaurant, bar, reading rooms and nightclub inside, as well as bedrooms if you wanted to stay overnight. That had much more a mix of ages. And is a really fun people watching spot. A lot of Russians and leggy, paid for, partners for the evening" I'm going to the wrong clubs🤣 | |||
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"I have been to the RAC in Pall Mall a couple of times each year for awards events etc...they still want gents to wear a jacket and tie ... " I don't understand why that is surprising to be honest. It is part of what they are, not for everyone , of course. Is like when I go to a nice hotel that used to insist on smart clothes for dinner and people turn in shorts and flip flops often straight from coming back from the beach. I wear shorts and flip flops and like them but not to go to a posh restaurant for dinner when everyone else is dressed smart for their evening meal. I hope it does not sound as being stuck up as I am not at all but in my opinion is not right to do tbat though to each their own I suppose. | |||
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"I’m sure the old world charm, history, etiquette and dress code is what keeps them feeling the way they do once inside. If you don’t like it then you wouldn’t be a member in the first place! Wearing a jacket or tie really isn’t too difficult. Unless it’s rather hot outside! " Dress code is becoming a lost art unfortunately. So it’s good to see it in some places still… | |||
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"I’m sure the old world charm, history, etiquette and dress code is what keeps them feeling the way they do once inside. If you don’t like it then you wouldn’t be a member in the first place! Wearing a jacket or tie really isn’t too difficult. Unless it’s rather hot outside! " African, Asian and Arabian suits and jackets/formal wear often don't come with a tie and can be made of a lightweight linen, cotton or silk. I grew up in the tropics. Often the tie and jacket combo was put on just as you reached the entrance not before. | |||
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