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Came back home dropped of anti-Ds, picked up pass and water bottle turned up to gym at 18.30
Gym is a sensory nightmare but I pushed through as fitbit said my readiness score was 100.
Managed to maintain my 127kg on the leg press and my balance. Waved to the weight-lifting trainer who I can't afford at the moment. He said I looked glowy from Cap. He's good to steal dopamine from. He has excess for sure.
Was going to walk home but remembered I'm supposed ot be pacing through the fatigue. Waited for bus. Went to pub next door to regale them with tales of Cap. half a pint of lemonade because alcohol and fatigue don't mix and I have a shit ton to do tomorrow also.
People think being neurodiverse is easy. It's not and we know it.
I shovelled some tuna, frozen shrimp and frozen chicken into the microwave and then my mouth... What even is food? Yes I have disordered eating not an eating disorder.
Hope everyone had a better day than me....sex is meh...libido is meh...feel very unsexy on top of period cramps. | |||
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"Sending hugs, you're amazing, don't ever forget that x" Thanks. We are all amazing for just surviving as maverick to the norms. And we know some of these norms are harmful and dysfunctional... Looking at you Coldplay couple. lol! Now if they had been in a swinging club it would have been all gravy because there would have been no viral video/photograph or they could claim it was AI. Lol! Dang thing was live and in living colour. | |||
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"Checking in. After quite a few years life has turned itself around again and I (Robin) recently felt in a position where I could come off my my meds. I've been off them a few weeks now, and whilst it was a little rough at first while I readjusted, I'm almost back to my old self again. Having said that, my sleep pattern is now rubbish and I keep waking up at all times of the night absolutely starving. Considering the crap I've been eating, have literally no idea how I've managed to lose 2 stone since coming off the meds." Great news Robin on coming off meds and losing 2 stone! Well done you. I'm still in the withdrawal zone for my mood stabiliser and still fat. Lol! Fat but strong!! I got Dr. Mosleys sleep book to help me figure out my sleep. It's not perfect but it's way better than it was when I first came of the mood stabaliser and felt like I was losing my mind. With that sadly better get into bed for my winddown routine. Fab is too exciting for my brain for bed time. Lol! I will check back tomorrow. | |||
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"Pretty shit tbh currently, but trying not to dwell. Got fired from my job recently which had such a negative effect on me. Since I haven’t had a reason to leave the house I just.. haven’t. And then the thought of going out into the world sends me into a panic." Sending hugs xx | |||
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"Pretty shit tbh currently, but trying not to dwell. Got fired from my job recently which had such a negative effect on me. Since I haven’t had a reason to leave the house I just.. haven’t. And then the thought of going out into the world sends me into a panic." Hugs. Sorry about the job...sent mine to employment tribunal because I can't manage them on my own anymore. They have threatened to fire me but I'm so over it now. I get cabin fever/paranoia if I stay in too long but I live near Richmond Park and the River Thames so I can go for a less people-y walk or bike ride. I have peers and friends near and far who prefer to stay in. I would stay in too if it wasn't for the paranoia. Hopefully you can do some things to make you feel better and just take it one day at a time and if that's too much..I take it in 15 minute blocks...  I'm off to try to get some sleep which is always a ride on the insomnia roulette. | |||
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"Pretty shit atm. Was doing really well having completed My CBT therapy and finding out things that I ve been able to do research on...i was feeling quite good. Then BANG...was in a car accident...nothing to serious but a couple of broken bones and lots of bruises really makes you think. Couple that with someone who I believed to be a real friend, the type of friend you can tell her everything, has been making up lies about me. Ive no idea why she would do this.She wont reply to messages Ive sent and my anxiety has blown through the roof" That sounds pretty tough, sending hugs. Xx | |||
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"keeping an eye on this forum "No problem. I know I will be better at this than writing my own journal because it's interactive with everyone checking in to! | |||
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"Pretty shit atm. Was doing really well having completed My CBT therapy and finding out things that I ve been able to do research on...i was feeling quite good. Then BANG...was in a car accident...nothing to serious but a couple of broken bones and lots of bruises really makes you think. Couple that with someone who I believed to be a real friend, the type of friend you can tell her everything, has been making up lies about me. Ive no idea why she would do this.She wont reply to messages Ive sent and my anxiety has blown through the roof" Broken bones is pretty serious especially past 60. Safety buddy broke her foot and is still hobbling around after discharge from the NHS. Sorry to hear that happened. I don't drive because triggers, medication, panic attacks and it's too bloody expensive and ridiculous in London. Lol! Sorry about your friend ( soon to be ex-friend). Might be a case of letting her go. I hate when that happens and it has happened to me a lot in terms of having to let friends and partners go for my own sanity! Maybe you can do some of the CBT skills to help the anxiety...or DBT skill-distract with some icecream and something nice to watch on telly/streaming. If I'm trying to be health I eat 500g of grapes or pineapple and get the same endorphins as the icecream but less calories and more nutrients. Hugs and look after yourself. | |||
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"These types of threads are amazing. Two years ago I went to end it all. Like most stuff I try I was unsuccessful. I was on a rapid spiral. I had someone away from here helping me. Then one day someone posted a mental health check in. I responded and the replies and support was overwhelming. If anyone ever needs to talk. I cant promise I can fix things but I can listen" Glad you are in a good place. Glad this place helped out. Seeing as some of us are night owls, insomniacs and night workers ( or up with the baby? Lol) there is always someone online so always someone listening. | |||
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"This year has been pretty crappy so far……. Was ill most of January with a virus, and then the after effect of that……. February I was in a nasty car crash, not sure how I didn’t break any bones, but still receiving physio for the injuries I did have…… June… evicted because landlord said he wanted to sell his house, but he just wanted it back so he could raise rent by a few hundred a month…….. I had just started to get my head back in order until 2025 began, now go to bed a lot of nights hoping I’ll not wake up just to have to endure another day of this rubbish…….. but every day survived in one piece is a success I can try and build on Big hugs to anyone out there suffering in silence and big hugs to anyone out here suffering " Sorry to hear you've been through the ringer too! Must be something in the water or air! In the end due to my private landlord flat being condemned by the council and my mental health, I'm in housing association so less worry especially in London. I'll be honest the last 12 months have been difficult for me but I'm still plodding. Definitely hope no one suffers in silence. I've realised that with mental health it's better out than in! As my dad would say for farts. Lol! | |||
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"I was going to post an update onu mental health, which has been a real struggle these last 3 days. Then I read your post Cookie. Wow, you are so brave and courageous. To speak about your cancer and how you are dealing with your current treatment. My heart goes out to and sending you all the positive vibes I have. Big hugs. By not posting about my health is not meant to belittle mental health problems, those that suffer find it hard enough as it is, but I can wait a day and just express my admiration for you." Thank you 🥰 Please post, it’s always good to talk and reach out Our mental health and its journey is unique to ourselves but may resonate with others These threads can make all the difference xx | |||
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