FabSwingers.com forum: The best joke you ever heard in your life ........

By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
3 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

See if we can get to 176 jokes to make people laugh ...

Also ...... others comment n say whether you thought the joke was funny on a scale of 1 , 2 or 3 with three high .... ta

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By *2000ManMan
3 weeks ago

Worthing

A woman asked me for sex the other day.

I had to disappoint her.

We had sex.

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By *xx2025Man
3 weeks ago

Watford

Essex girl in a car crash “I think I’ve got concussion!”

“How many fingers have I got up? “asked the paramedic.

“ oh god! my Fanny’s paralysed as well “

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
3 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

"A woman asked me for sex the other day.

I had to disappoint her.

We had sex."

2.5

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
3 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

"Essex girl in a car crash “I think I’ve got concussion!”

“How many fingers have I got up? “asked the paramedic.

“ oh god! my Fanny’s paralysed as well “"

2.5

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By *isceral100Man
3 weeks ago

Doncaster

Guy takes his wife to the Dr's after testing the Dr says we can't tell if its aids or alzheimers

Drop her off a couple of miles from your house on the way home just to be sure , if she finds her way home don't f_ck her

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
3 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

"Guy takes his wife to the Dr's after testing the Dr says we can't tell if its aids or alzheimers

Drop her off a couple of miles from your house on the way home just to be sure , if she finds her way home don't f_ck her "

2.75

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By *istalloverCouple
3 weeks ago

Pays de la Loire -Normandie -Brittany borderFrance

Why doesn't Mary Poppins wear lipstick when giving oral sex .

Because .

The super coloured flavoured lipstick Makes the dick atrocious,

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
3 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

"Why doesn't Mary Poppins wear lipstick when giving oral sex .

Because .

The super coloured flavoured lipstick Makes the dick atrocious, "

1.95

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By *hrissycox66TV/TS
3 weeks ago

watford

How is a vagina like the weather?

If it’s wet

It’s time to go inside 😂

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
3 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

"How is a vagina like the weather?

If it’s wet

It’s time to go inside 😂

1.2

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
3 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

Would some other people be marking judges cos i'm going to get battered on the way home

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
3 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

Me and the missus watched a couple of DVD’s back to back last night, fortunately I was the one facing the tv

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
3 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"Would some other people be marking judges cos i'm going to get battered on the way home "

^^^she’s calling in at the chippy on the way home.

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By *hrissycox66TV/TS
3 weeks ago

watford

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

Why are you shaking she going to eat me 😂

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By *2000ManMan
3 weeks ago

Worthing

"How is a vagina like the weather?

If it’s wet

It’s time to go inside 😂

2.8

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
3 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

"Me and the missus watched a couple of DVD’s back to back last night, fortunately I was the one facing the tv

1.3

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By *xx2025Man
3 weeks ago

Watford

I just answered the front door dressed in Stockings,High Heels, Leather mini skirt and Bright red lipstick!

The Avon lady asked:

“Hello sir, is your wife home ?”

I answered:

“Take a fucking wild guess”

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
3 weeks ago

stanley

Best d*unk joke

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Coz it was dead

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By *eathcliffMan
3 weeks ago

Cardiff

When we were younger, my not-too-bright mate was in the back of a car with a girl. Things got heated, and at one point she whispered, “Kiss and lick me where it smells…”

So he put his clothes back on, jumped into the driver’s seat, and drove her straight to Grimsby.

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By *oiluvfunMan
3 weeks ago

Penrith

My wife says I have commitment issues.

Well, I say 'wife'......

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By *VE n ANDYCouple
3 weeks ago

Bedford

How do you make a door laugh?

Tickle its knob...

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By *hapLeedsMan
3 weeks ago

Leeds

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot…..

a carrot 🤷‍♂️

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Central

"I just answered the front door dressed in Stockings,High Heels, Leather mini skirt and Bright red lipstick!

The Avon lady asked:

“Hello sir, is your wife home ?”

I answered:

“Take a fucking wild guess”"

2.6

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By *eorge1949Man
3 weeks ago

WR12Broadway

"Would some other people be marking judges cos i'm going to get battered on the way home "

Stay away from fish and chip shops to avoid being battered!

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Went to the doctors for a prostate examination yesterday.

Doctor says right Dave try not to get a hardon this time.

I looked back and worriedly said.my names steve.

He replied,yes I know. I’m Dave.

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By *oeBeansMan
3 weeks ago

Derby

Zak Crawley as an opening batsman for England.

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Walked up to a pretty lady one a club and said,

Do you wanna have some great sex?

NO she replied

Well your talking to the right guy then.

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By *ature420Couple
3 weeks ago

aberdeen

I used to own a horse named treacle, she had golden stirrups..she didn't go out much,she was a shire horse..that's 2 horse jokes on the trot....

Only Scottish folk get this one

Did you hear about the lonely prisoner? He was in his cell

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By *xx2025Man
3 weeks ago

Watford

Text

Mrs

I found out you’ve been shagging another woman, you dirty, lying,cheating bastard. I’m packing my things and leaving you.

I’m moving in with my sister!

‘Ok see you when you get here’

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By *eorge1949Man
3 weeks ago

WR12Broadway

A politician was visiting a remote little rural town and asked the locals what the government could do for them.

"We have two big needs,” said the towns people.

“First, we have a hospital but no doctor.”

The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said,

“I have sorted that out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?”

The towns people replied,

“We have no mobile phone reception in our town…...”

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Not a joke, but a routine.

The cop turned comedian, Alfie Moore's 'The head'. You might have heard him on the radio, but he's far better live and he has a closing routine about when he was called to investigate the discovery of a head. It's superb

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

A joke, this is from Tony Cowards:

'Blood groups, optimists, B positive, pessimists, B negative, fat fingers, type O and folk who live in the capital of Taiwan, type A.

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By *hubarb n CustardCouple
3 weeks ago

north wales

Went to the zoo today, saw some toast in a cage, so i asked the keeper " whats with that piece of toast in a cage?", he says yeah its ok, its bred in captivity 😂

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By *hubarb n CustardCouple
3 weeks ago

north wales

[Removed by poster at 20/07/25 20:37:31]

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By *hubarb n CustardCouple
3 weeks ago

north wales

"I just answered the front door dressed in Stockings,High Heels, Leather mini skirt and Bright red lipstick!

The Avon lady asked:

“Hello sir, is your wife home ?”

I answered:

“Take a fucking wild guess”"

Defo a 3!!

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By *akedMMan
3 weeks ago

Witney

"Went to the zoo today, saw some toast in a cage, so i asked the keeper " whats with that piece of toast in a cage?", he says yeah its ok, its bred in captivity 😂"

So silly i like it

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By *xx2025Man
3 weeks ago

Watford

My missus said we need to chat about my immature behaviour!

Yeah, like that’s going to happen during conker season 😊

(Last one, honest)

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By *eorge1949Man
3 weeks ago

WR12Broadway

Next time you're feeling down remember life is all

about perspective. I have a friend who has sex 2-3 times a day, exercises twice a day, reads two books a week yet every day he complains about how much

he hates prison.

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By *onglegcoupleCouple
3 weeks ago

manchester

I asked my Mes if she could make me happy and sad at the same time, she said yes!!! Your dicks bigger than your brothers

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
3 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

"I just answered the front door dressed in Stockings,High Heels, Leather mini skirt and Bright red lipstick!

The Avon lady asked:

“Hello sir, is your wife home ?”

I answered:

“Take a fucking wild guess”"

1.1

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
3 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

"Went to the doctors for a prostate examination yesterday.

Doctor says right Dave try not to get a hardon this time.

I looked back and worriedly said.my names steve.

He replied,yes I know. I’m Dave."

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By *OTSOSUBTLEMan
3 weeks ago

DUBLIN

Nazi Knock Knock Joke.

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Ve ask the questions dumbkoff!

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
3 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

"My missus said we need to chat about my immature behaviour!

Yeah, like that’s going to happen during conker season 😊

(Last one, honest)"

4.5

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By *inning2399Man
3 weeks ago

wirral

Manchester United winning a trophy in next 10 years

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