FabSwingers.com forum: Worst lines to hear from a therapist.

By *he Opalsnake OP Man
4 weeks ago

Thirsk

Morning folks, I'm in my Therapy practice today. Preparing for the day I got to thinking what are the worst lines a therapist could come out with?

Note this is not the lyric game and I won't be repeating them. I worked hard for this license.

But for shits and gigs let's hear what you've got. 😁

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By *allySlinkyWoman
4 weeks ago

Leeds

Can't you just man up and pull yourself together ?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex

"hahahaha, I've never heard that one before. I think your mum was right"

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By *a LunaWoman
4 weeks ago

o o OO o o

“Yeah. You’re broken beyond repair.”

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By *arvey67Man
4 weeks ago

Grimsby

"Well, I didn't want you to show me but you are right, it is very small"

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By *allySlinkyWoman
4 weeks ago

Leeds

Next please !

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By *he Opalsnake OP Man
4 weeks ago

Thirsk

I'm already so glad I put this up 😂🤣

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By *n the cloudsMan
4 weeks ago

warlingham

I’m a therapist not a magician.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
4 weeks ago

Leeds

You think you've got problems ? Let me tell you all about mine.

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By *artfordBlokeMan
4 weeks ago

Dartford

"You say you suffer from anxiety and depression, this report says you looked very relaxed in the bath this morning:

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By *herry.bombWoman
4 weeks ago

basingstoke

“No, I agree with your ex about this”

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By *hePervertedPlumberMan
4 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I prescribe 1 glass of concrete daily to help you harden the fuck up!

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By *exyInLatinMan
4 weeks ago

Warsop

Yeah you’re fucking wierd bro

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By *rHotNottsMan
4 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

‘ keep talking, I’m listening honestly I’m just checking my updates on FAB”

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By *ecretxLoverWoman
4 weeks ago

Glasgow

Just give yourself a shake

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By *turpleasure81Man
4 weeks ago

Bournemouth

And how does that make you feel? It sounds patronising, I've never used it when I've counselled a client

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By *rHotNottsMan
4 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Just give yourself a shake "

lol.

Have you thought about ‘Manning’ up a little ? We could try a role-play where I dump you and inform you, I’m having the house kids and catand you just say ‘whatevs bitch’

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By *vaRoseWoman
4 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

Ooh I have some examples. None of these are my own direct quotes but from ladies who volunteer at the same place. We have them on a poster for what not to fucking do.

That was so long ago, why is it bothering you now? Said to a lady who hadn’t been outside in the 5 years after her assault

You seem to be coping well on your own - said to a woman who was having increasingly intrusive thoughts

That poor man, what must have happened to him to do that to you? - said to a lady who had had her jaw broken in 3 places when he attacked and SA her.

You’re not that thin really - said to an eating disorder sufferer

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By *rHotNottsMan
4 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Please try not take it too personally though, it’s almost like sexual abuse was fashionable in the 70s.

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By *offysmangoMan
4 weeks ago

Colchester

Get over it.

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By *sWyldWoman
4 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Really, you know what you should do, you are just choosing not to do it. Harsh but fair really...

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

You're doing brilliant I'm amazed how far you've came in a fairly short period of time.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
4 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Hey, big boys don't cry!

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By *olyGlamorousWoman
4 weeks ago

Altrincham

Damn these comments are brutal!

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By *hePervertedPlumberMan
4 weeks ago

Edinburgh

"Have you tried just not giving a fuck?"

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

If you're worried about something, just don't worry!

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By *allySlinkyWoman
4 weeks ago

Leeds

I don't see why you can't just put it out of your mind

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By *exyInLatinMan
4 weeks ago

Warsop

Have you tried not worrying about it? - that’s a genuine one from a therapist when I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety 🤦‍♂️

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
4 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…

What?! Are you insane?!

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By *ecretxLoverWoman
4 weeks ago

Glasgow

That happened to me too! But look at me now. You’ll get there one day…it just might take a good few sessions

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By *ripfillMan
4 weeks ago

Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant

"Thought all these voices in my head meant I was crazy,

but one of them is a therapist.

And he says I'm fine." ….

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By *ovelyDayXXXWoman
4 weeks ago

Niche

You're just a little tired and emotional. Is it that time of the month?

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
4 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

You need a good "klap" and pull yourself together!

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By *ovelyDayXXXWoman
4 weeks ago

Niche

Get a good night's sleep. Everything will look better in the morning.

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

Well today's you're last session

You must feel glad

Try not to overthink everything

Don't take everything so personal

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By *he Opalsnake OP Man
4 weeks ago

Thirsk

"And how does that make you feel? It sounds patronising, I've never used it when I've counselled a client"

Agreed I hate that one too

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By *he Opalsnake OP Man
4 weeks ago

Thirsk

"Ooh I have some examples. None of these are my own direct quotes but from ladies who volunteer at the same place. We have them on a poster for what not to fucking do.

That was so long ago, why is it bothering you now? Said to a lady who hadn’t been outside in the 5 years after her assault

You seem to be coping well on your own - said to a woman who was having increasingly intrusive thoughts

That poor man, what must have happened to him to do that to you? - said to a lady who had had her jaw broken in 3 places when he attacked and SA her.

You’re not that thin really - said to an eating disorder sufferer

Wow, some horrendous examples there.

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By *he Opalsnake OP Man
4 weeks ago

Thirsk

"Have you tried not worrying about it? - that’s a genuine one from a therapist when I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety 🤦‍♂️ "

GAD gets some of the worst responses. So common and yet so disregarded. That's shocking.

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By *layfull pairingCouple
4 weeks ago

Bristol

Sir, could you put it away and stop masterbating please !

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By *he Opalsnake OP Man
4 weeks ago

Thirsk

"Sir, could you put it away and stop masterbating please ! "

Wait is that the therapist or the client talking? 🤣😂

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By *aveed74Man
4 weeks ago

a round and a bout Midlands

"I think I'm falling in love with you"

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
4 weeks ago

IPSWICH

Do you like my tin foil hat. I made it myself.

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By *oodmessMan
4 weeks ago

yumsville

Shit, fuck, bollocks.

(actually had a guy say them repeated and he didn't have tourettes)

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By *ny1localMan
4 weeks ago

READING

I'll cut my fees if you give me a bj.

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By *emonochromeMan
4 weeks ago

Watford

I’ve been watching your Instagram stories and I’m concerned

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By *aveed74Man
4 weeks ago

a round and a bout Midlands

"I'm also in fabswingers and I know what your dirty little fetish is; you ought to be ashamed"

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By *exyInLatinMan
4 weeks ago

Warsop

"Have you tried not worrying about it? - that’s a genuine one from a therapist when I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety 🤦‍♂️

GAD gets some of the worst responses. So common and yet so disregarded. That's shocking. "

Yeah didn’t have another session with that therapist 🤣

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By *odgerMooreMan
4 weeks ago

Rummage Up The Jumper

You’ve got problems- ffs that signwriter has missed out the space in Therapist again… here drink this…

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
4 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Not a therapist, but a doctor said this to my wife, who struggled with her weight, when she asked for advice about 30 years ago...

"There were no fat people in Aushwitz"

(Meaning, don't eat so much).

I mean... 😱

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By *aysOfOurLivesCouple
4 weeks ago

Chigwell

[Removed by poster at 16/07/25 13:54:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

It's more like a hotel at Captain Teebs!

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By *ohn 66Man
4 weeks ago

South Birmingham

I have a cartoon where the therapist says to their patient...

"Have you ever considered the possibility that you might just be a cunt?"

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
4 weeks ago

IPSWICH

"Not a therapist, but a doctor said this to my wife, who struggled with her weight, when she asked for advice about 30 years ago...

"There were no fat people in Aushwitz"

(Meaning, don't eat so much).

I mean... 😱"

I know of a doctor that said you get fat because the hole in your face is bigger than hole in your arse. 🤷‍♂️

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By *elloWoman
4 weeks ago

alpha centauri

Therapist: No, you're totally normal, everyone thinks like that.

Me: no that can't be true, are you saying that everyone on Earth thinks like this?

Therapist : yes, everyone thinks like you, you're 100% normal

Me:

. Aaarrrggghhhh we're all doomed

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By *oPantsJustVibesMan
4 weeks ago

Thailand

“Oof, sucks to be you! Anyway times up”

“Let me google that for you”

“Sorry I zoned out 20 mins ago”

“You’re just being dramatic “

“Have you tried just not feeling this way?”

“How have you even made it this far in life?”

“Honestly I’d give up too”

“You’re beyond help, just go on meds… though I doubt that’d even help”

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By *elloWoman
4 weeks ago

alpha centauri

'oh my god, stop, don't tell me anymore, what the fuck is wrong with you,

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By *odgerMooreMan
4 weeks ago

Rummage Up The Jumper

Pass me the lube - this is getting good…

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By *auls21Man
4 weeks ago

Derry

Ahhh fuck… you again.. has it really been a week

Mother says that you deserve to be punished

So stressed but yet you look so peaceful when you are sleeping

I’m sooo sorry about all the shite you go through, but you know what’s worse— having to listen to you go on and on about it

I think Princess Elsa said it best “let it go”

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By *a LunaWoman
4 weeks ago

o o OO o o

Your bill is due. That’ll be £35,000 and a kidney please!

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By *otsowickedCouple
4 weeks ago

Galway

In fairness being a nymphomaniac doesn't affect you.

In a way being that ugly is a good thing.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
4 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

The one that bothers me if "If it's not one thing it's the mother."

Like, we've covered and explored as much of that is going to make a difference. We have safely established that my mother caused issues. Can we now work on actually resolving them rather than assigning blame and acting like that's a resolution please 💜

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By *odgerMooreMan
4 weeks ago

Rummage Up The Jumper

…. And the midget… that was doing what… and there was a donkey…. Gnnnnnn ooooft jeez… can you pass me a wipe please? Ok … well same time next week… and bring more of this … this is good stuff …?

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By *oonbath89Man
4 weeks ago

radstock

“Now try not to get an erection Dave”

“My name’s John “

“ I know , im Dave “

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By *he Opalsnake OP Man
4 weeks ago

Thirsk

"Therapist: No, you're totally normal, everyone thinks like that.

Me: no that can't be true, are you saying that everyone on Earth thinks like this?

Therapist : yes, everyone thinks like you, you're 100% normal

Me:

. Aaarrrggghhhh we're all doomed"

Yup that's what they all say 😉

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By *he Opalsnake OP Man
4 weeks ago

Thirsk

"Your bill is due. That’ll be £35,000 and a kidney please!"

Wait... *grabs dictaphone* idea for series, similar to squid game but therapists gently encourage self checkout as a front for the organ trade.

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By *he Opalsnake OP Man
4 weeks ago

Thirsk

"The one that bothers me if "If it's not one thing it's the mother."

A common trope, I specialise in parental trauma. Mother Dear made certain of it.

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By *JB1954Man
4 weeks ago

Reading

Therapist . Yes I have seen thousands of people over my years of practice. With your type of problem . Helped them. Do admit you are the worst one .

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By *otsowickedCouple
4 weeks ago

Galway

Every week you come here and just talk about yourself. Never once have you ask how I feel. You are such a selfish narcissist.

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By *aysOfOurLivesCouple
4 weeks ago

Chigwell

Welcome, I am the rapist … therapist, THE THERAPIST …Freud has lot to answer for!

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By *aybeshewillCouple
4 weeks ago

North-west

“What a mood”.

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By *obilebottomMan
4 weeks ago

All over

Sit down, let it all out . No, no, I didn't mean that!

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By *ad NannaWoman
4 weeks ago

East London

If you just lost weight.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
4 weeks ago

Central

Let me put my noise cancelling headphones on, I need a break from this shit

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By *ingsysMan
4 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

Have you tried. NOT doing that?

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By *n the cloudsMan
4 weeks ago

warlingham

Have you tried just getting over it?

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