FabSwingers.com forum: Is loneliness preferable to rejection?.

By *madeus999 OP Man
4 weeks ago

Greater Manchester

Some folk are better of alone. Some don't like getting turned down on here,or no attention at all. Male or, female, it's a reality for people. Are folk less hurt?. It has no age barrier. The power of the block button.

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By *ittleLiaisonsWoman
4 weeks ago

Birmingham

I don't think the two effects each other, you can be surrounded by people and still be lonely. The way you handle rejection is more dependent on how you feel about yourself. You can get accustomed to being alone though which makes being around people harder so I guess that has an impact on approaching people.

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By *exyInLatinMan
4 weeks ago

Warsop

It’s all so relative, you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. You can be accepted by loads of people but one rejection sticks in your mind. I don’t t think either is better or worse than the other it’s how you process and deal with both

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By *ife NinjaMan
4 weeks ago

Dunfermline

With rejection, at least you know someone is out there. With loneliness, you feel no one gives a shit 🙄

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By *hickthighs25Woman
4 weeks ago

Stockton

"With rejection, at least you know someone is out there. With loneliness, you feel no one gives a shit 🙄"

Ah 🫶

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By *mileyculturebelfastMan
4 weeks ago

belfast

Nah. Rejection is good for you. Makes you appreciate acceptance.

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By *eardedguy83Man
4 weeks ago

Worcestershire

Difficult one to answer. You can still be lonely even if you have a wide social circle. You can hide the loneliness behind a wall of outward confidence. Rejection can hurt more than the loneliness in my opinion. I try to not let it affect me and look for the positive things in life.

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By *pgroupsexMan
4 weeks ago

Kingston

I've a mate (not related to this site), who works on the principle that if you ask out everyone you fancy (in his case seemingly most girls!), some may say yes. It Works for him, he seemingly does pretty well and he simply moves on from any "No", without any angst.

I get the impression there is a good degree of that going on here (so a scattergun approach, almost without any care). If you do that, a subsequent block is likely of course.

That approach doesn't work for me, either here or in 'real life'. I only write to those who I think are a good match, having properly read their profile. While the percentage of replies I get is still quite low, I rarely get blocked as I don't harass anyone. Frankly what's the point?

Personally I think blocking is a blunt instrument, but I see the appeal if you get a ton of messages from totally unsuitable people, who often won't take "NO" for an answer.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
4 weeks ago

Bristol

"Nah. Rejection is good for you. Makes you appreciate acceptance. "

I like that ☺️

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By *emonochromeMan
4 weeks ago

Watford

Rejection is a part of life learn to embrace it

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By *rHotNottsMan
4 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Long is very much a state of mind. Loneliest people I’ve known are those in bad relationships.

I think there is a strong correlation between loneliness and procrastination. They both seem to disable people from doing things that will move them forward with their problem. I think it’s about fear, the safety of being lonely and never trying is better than the fear of failure or rejection.

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

For me personally yes.. I'd rather be alone

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By *icknDeeCouple
4 weeks ago

hartlepool

Tough choice.

Looking back at our recent messages, it has to be said it depends on how the rejection occured.

We've sent out a few messages recently, all polite, friendly and reasonable. One came back along the lines of us asking if the couple involved would mind if they let us sacrifice their puppy. That hurt. Not because they weren't interested but because they thought we wanted to do something underhand.

In essence, a "No, thank you" is fine. but a "go f*ck yourself, you pervert" probably isn't.

We don't mind rejection. We don't mind being ignored. But there's levels of both...

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By *bi HaiveMan
4 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I think it's important to view 'rejection' on here - an internet contact site where total strangers attempt to engage with others using just words on a screen and a few photos - in a different way to rejection 'in real life'. By that I mean in terms of family, friends, work colleagues, getting turned down for a job for example.

What I think some see as rejection on here is actually often nothing more than indifference. Is getting no reply or a 'no thanks' from someone you don't know at all and who you didnt know even existed until you stumbled across their profile really the same as being rejected by people you know and have real connections with?

As for loneliness? I know people in cohabiting long term relationships that feel lonely. I know people who live a solitary life living and working alone who don't. Loneliness to me can very much be situationally specific. You can have a wide circle of family and friends you're regularly active with, work in a huge team and yet find yourself in a situation where you feel isolated and unable to share your thoughts and feelings with others. Some revel in isolation, others hate it. Some need to be around people constantly and others find crowds intimidating and uncomfortable. I often get asked if I feel lonely living alone and working for myself. Generally I don't as I enjoy my own personal space, am lucky enough to have two amazing partners, friends I can call on if needed and family further afield if I need a break. But there's plenty of times I still find myself feeling lonely on occasion, simply because I'd like a snuggle on the sofa of an evening, or just an in person chat rather than over the phone.

Rejection I've never had a problem handling. It's always been an inevitable part of life. But loneliness can sneak up on you when you least expect it and can be a much harder feeling to overcome. 🤷‍♂️

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By *madeus999 OP Man
4 weeks ago

Greater Manchester

Totally agree with you. Some nasty puddle drinkers as I call them. It makes you wary and wonder why make yourself vulnerable to these idiots.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
4 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

It's a choice to choose guaranteed loneliness over the risk of rejection. If that's what someone feels is best for them at the time, that's their prerogative, but it's not the fault of the people they choose not to approach 💜

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By *estructionDollyWoman
4 weeks ago

The Deep Dark Woods

I used to think yes, I was so sensitive to rejection and had so little confidence I would never put myself out there.

But I realised that was silly, I'm not everyone's cup of tea and that's okay. If someone doesn't like me then that's up to them, and isn't a reflection on me.

Feeling lonely/alone sucks way more that the short lived sting of rejection.

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By *ovelyDayXXXWoman
4 weeks ago

Niche

To be really truly happy you need to not make your happiness dependent on the choices of others.

Basing your happiness on the whims of another person isn't wise. What happens if/when the situation changes? Do they get to take your happiness with them?

The way to protect your happiness and peace is to be complete within yourself. Build a life, for yourself, by your own self. Be fulfilled. Have circles of friends/family/co-workers. Hobbies. Interests.

All the usual things.

Be a complete functioning fufilled unit within yourself.

So then when you add in others, they are bonus benefits not critical foundations.

They need to add value not drain and devalue you.

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By *ovelyDayXXXWoman
4 weeks ago

Niche

Attraction or lack of does not equal your 'value' as a person.

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
4 weeks ago

Maidstone

Having had my fair share of both I'm picking rejection. At least I know I've tried and normally had fun getting to the rejection stage. Loneliness is way harder for me to deal with.

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By *exyInLatinMan
4 weeks ago

Warsop

"To be really truly happy you need to not make your happiness dependent on the choices of others.

Basing your happiness on the whims of another person isn't wise. What happens if/when the situation changes? Do they get to take your happiness with them?

All the usual things.

Be a complete functioning fufilled unit within yourself.

So then when you add in others, they are bonus benefits not critical foundations.

They need to add value not drain and devalue you."

Well this is a wonderful comment and absolutely bang on!!

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By *ovelyDayXXXWoman
4 weeks ago

Niche

Well this is a wonderful comment and absolutely bang on!! "

🫡😎🤓

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

"Attraction or lack of does not equal your 'value' as a person."

Love that 🙂

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By *peedyGMan
4 weeks ago

Telford

I can take rejection even though it sucks sometimes, loneliness is way worse in my opinion.

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By *a LunaWoman
4 weeks ago

o o OO o o

Another way to look at it is that your life is peaceful until you find the right person who adds to your peace, rather than disturbs it.

It’s all about the way you frame it to yourself.

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By *moothdickMan
4 weeks ago

stoke

If u take it to seriously, one can lead to the other…

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By *madeus999 OP Man
4 weeks ago

Greater Manchester

Have you noticed how quick folk get angry/ annoyed on here when you say you aren't bothered or, simple no thanks?. They can't take rejection. They become the person at the front of the mob crowd ready to stone you. They have a Barrets house brick ready to chuck. Straight men who likes Transvestite sex,but won't have sex with men, don't like it pointed out to them. It's a man who has a Penis in a dress!. Check how angry they get. A form of rejection. A choice.

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By *olyGlamorousWoman
4 weeks ago

Altrincham

"Is lonliness preferable to rejection - Some folk are better of alone. Some don't like getting turned down on here,or no attention at all. Male or, female, it's a reality for people. Are folk less hurt?. It has no age barrier. The power of the block button. "

***

I don't like being alone, I'd rather be with someone, I have a lot of affection to give and like looking after them, but, I'd rather be alone than be rejected, if someone pulls away I'd rather know than it fizzle out

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
4 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…

Yes - Rejection makes you question your value/self-worth.

But the great thing about being me?.. I don’t get lonely

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By *oveat1stfeelMan
4 weeks ago

around here somewhere

"Some folk are better of alone. Some don't like getting turned down on here,or no attention at all. Male or, female, it's a reality for people. Are folk less hurt?. It has no age barrier. The power of the block button. "

Of course rejection hurts , it has to , it's the ol' saying...once bitten twice shy , people may not want to be rejected others don't care , very very difficult if a person you like has no interest in you , but even if you're with a lady always remember she has the power & capability to absolutely crush you, believe me .

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By *onnie 90Woman
4 weeks ago

Leeds

After rejection your life will still continue as it did previously. What have you gained? Nothing. What have you lost? Nothing. Everything carries on as normal.

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