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Why the hang up over deleted messages?

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By *hérie OP   Woman
over a year ago

North Wales

Is it just me, Surely not?

Either the messages self destruct because there comes a point where there are just too many.

Or I delete the lot when I am spring cleaning.

Some people actually get really upset about it.

So I am here asking...at what stage do you delete and do you consider those you may be hurt in the process.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If my message gets deleted after its been read, regardless of a reply or not I'm not fussed... Nothing bothers me lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

we delete randomly but usually when we're clearing the in box. I don't consider teh person who's sent them because I assume they're adults who realise that no message can be kept for ever

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I delete when I've replied or when I've read and they aren't of interest.

I delete before reading if the profile is crap or if they are miles away etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Those who get upset tend to be those with the ridiculous sense of entitlement and those that however crap their message, or however much they fail to match your preferences, are incredulous that you don't want to meet them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hands up, I'm guilty of just deleting the lot. I make an effort to keep on top of my inbox but if I am snowed under and the number is silly high then I have just deleted the lot.

This is why I asked admin if friends could have a different colour in my inbox, so I can sift easier, I've got blocks on at the mo as people dont read the profile, but I will try harder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ps if they get seriously hurt because I didnt read it, then I can live with that, sooo many single men, I am not going to stress about those I wont be meeting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I delete if they are outside my criteria, I delete if they don't have a face pic I delete if they don't get my attention. Hurt feelings from not replying to a message? Please nobody that precious is worth meeting are they?

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

I block their sorry arses before they've even considered messaging me. That will teach the needy mo fo's

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By *hérie OP   Woman
over a year ago

North Wales


"Ps if they get seriously hurt because I didnt read it, then I can live with that, sooo many single men, I am not going to stress about those I wont be meeting "

Yep, me too.

It is a little worrying.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

My kids stopped crying for attention when they realised I wasn't impressed around aged four. Adult cry babies who throw their toys and spit dummies need to get a grip: a sense of entitlement is ugly!

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"My kids stopped crying for attention when they realised I wasn't impressed around aged four. Adult cry babies who throw their toys and spit dummies need to get a grip: a sense of entitlement is ugly! "

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I just leave my unread to just drop off naturally

The others I just do a bulk delete every few days or so, sometimes once a week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always reply but maybe that's because I'm a guy and don't get 100 mails a day to deal with. It is a bit like roulette if you are a guy, you might put some effort to read a profile and write something decent, but as people have said, a lot of the time they just bulk delete without even reading. That's the lottery I guess, but no point getting upset, best to keep plugging away and hoping to get lucky.

Oh to have too many mails to be able to answer them!

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By *hérie OP   Woman
over a year ago

North Wales

In an ideal world, I would reply to all.

But it just isn't possible.

Hey I wonder if admin could give us access to an automated response?

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon


"I always reply but maybe that's because I'm a guy and don't get 100 mails a day to deal with. It is a bit like roulette if you are a guy, you might put some effort to read a profile and write something decent, but as people have said, a lot of the time they just bulk delete without even reading. That's the lottery I guess, but no point getting upset, best to keep plugging away and hoping to get lucky.

Oh to have too many mails to be able to answer them!"

Indeed... it's a case of swings & roubdabouts. Girls don't like receiving short, uninspired messages but boys don't like wasting their time writing something Shakespeare would've been proud of only to find it gets deleted without being read, so they spend less and less time on what they're writing which makes their messages shorter and even more uninspired which means girls are even more likely to delete unread... wash, rinse, repeat ad infinitum.

What I think some guys don't realise is that a message may only be read if their profile interests the recipient. If, however, the recipient is browsing in stealth mode or if the guys aren't silver/gold members then they are unable to see that their profile has been viewed. That's when toys end up on the floor instead of inside the pram where they belong... when in reality, regardless of what the message contained, their profile simply didn't make the grade (or they're miles away, outside criteria, yada yada yada).

I'd suggest that the content of a message is only relevant if your profile has enabled you to pass the first hurdle. Work on improving your profile and by extension the "read rate" will improve.

Just my thoughts... feel free to disagree.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I didn't realise there were so many "sensitive souls" on the site... I suppose getting a message is akin to ego stroking for some...

so when that doesn't happen, the complaints come......

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon


"I didn't realise there were so many "sensitive souls" on the site... I suppose getting a message is akin to ego stroking for some...

so when that doesn't happen, the complaints come......"

Haha... very true

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By *icked weaselCouple
over a year ago

Near Edinburgh..

The amount of times i have accidentaly hit the delete-message button thinking i was clicking the go to next message button..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always reply but maybe that's because I'm a guy and don't get 100 mails a day to deal with. It is a bit like roulette if you are a guy, you might put some effort to read a profile and write something decent, but as people have said, a lot of the time they just bulk delete without even reading. That's the lottery I guess, but no point getting upset, best to keep plugging away and hoping to get lucky.

Oh to have too many mails to be able to answer them!

Indeed... it's a case of swings & roubdabouts. Girls don't like receiving short, uninspired messages but boys don't like wasting their time writing something Shakespeare would've been proud of only to find it gets deleted without being read, so they spend less and less time on what they're writing which makes their messages shorter and even more uninspired which means girls are even more likely to delete unread... wash, rinse, repeat ad infinitum.

What I think some guys don't realise is that a message may only be read if their profile interests the recipient. If, however, the recipient is browsing in stealth mode or if the guys aren't silver/gold members then they are unable to see that their profile has been viewed. That's when toys end up on the floor instead of inside the pram where they belong... when in reality, regardless of what the message contained, their profile simply didn't make the grade (or they're miles away, outside criteria, yada yada yada).

I'd suggest that the content of a message is only relevant if your profile has enabled you to pass the first hurdle. Work on improving your profile and by extension the "read rate" will improve.

Just my thoughts... feel free to disagree."

I agree a response depends on more than just the message. But as many women have said on this thread, quite often they are overwhelmed so just bulk delete which would suggest neither reading a profile or a message....., there maybe no hope!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We cancel all mail once we've read it, and couldn't give a flying fuck if our messages get deleted either.

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