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Figuring out where things fit

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man
4 weeks ago

Ends

Finding the time for someone is difficult.

If you can’t find the time for them or you don’t find the time for them, do you end things or wait for them to express displeasure?

Is finding time for some people easier because you just like them more?

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By *oeBeansMan
4 weeks ago

Derby

Are you allowed to answer if you're in the opposite situation? 😅

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
4 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

If I don't have the time for forging new connections I try to make that clear from the outset. I haven't been actively seeking additional people for a long time and those that have happened along with a little spark I've made sure they're aware that there just isn't enough of me to go around.

For long term existing connections, I do my best to make sure I can find that time. And when I can't, I try to clearly communicate the situation and check in on them regularly, so even if we're not getting that in person connection were still maintaining the connection as best as possible in the circumstances.

If I thought I wasn't good enough for a partner, I'd ask their opinion and how they would like things to be, rather than just ending it or waiting for them to 💜

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man
4 weeks ago

Ends


"Are you allowed to answer if you're in the opposite situation? 😅"

Yes!

Btw I have plenty of space for someone. Not sure they do for me

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By *eliWoman
4 weeks ago

.


"Finding the time for someone is difficult.

If you can’t find the time for them or you don’t find the time for them, do you end things or wait for them to express displeasure? "

If I couldn't/didn't want to find the time for someone in that moment of time, I'd let them know. Similar to Prey really - I'd much rather they made a decision on how they feel rather than deciding for me. It's how I'd like to be treated.


"Is finding time for some people easier because you just like them more?"

I think so, yes. The more you like someone, the more invested you are, the easier it is to find time for them.

I've had a bit of a shift in attitude towards it all now - it can be easy to get upset when people would arrange x, y and z but spending time with you is too much of an ask. I stopped asking. Stopped planning. And let them. If people don't want to spend time with you, you can't change that. No point giving it more headspace than they'll ever give you.

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By *adyBugsWoman
4 weeks ago

cognito

I’d end it. Having been on the side of holding on for someone I know how devastating it can be to wait to be prioritised so I’d not want anyone to feel the way I did.

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By *a LunaWoman
4 weeks ago

o o OO o o

Depends. If I felt like shit more than I felt adored and cherished, then yeah. End it.

Life is too short.

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man
4 weeks ago

Ends


"I’d end it. Having been on the side of holding on for someone I know how devastating it can be to wait to be prioritised so I’d not want anyone to feel the way I did."
that’s deep. ❤️

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man
4 weeks ago

Ends


"Depends. If I felt like shit more than I felt adored and cherished, then yeah. End it.

Life is too short."

Life is too short.

Speaking of short, hit me up

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By *aFemmeCoquetteWoman
4 weeks ago

somewhere, someplace


"Are you allowed to answer if you're in the opposite situation? 😅"

This 😏

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
4 weeks ago

Reading

I think I used to be very generous with people about this. Where I have all the time and they didn't seem to have the same levels of time for me. And something in me has shifted and now I'm more prone to ending things.

Maybe it's that they don't like me as much as I like them? But it's probably also just life and different priorities. I don't want to feel like I'm not a priority.

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By *rHotNottsMan
4 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

It should not be hard, we’re all in control of our own time and the decisions we make on how to use it. It’s only hard when you are polysaturated in my experience.

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man
4 weeks ago

Ends


"I think I used to be very generous with people about this. Where I have all the time and they didn't seem to have the same levels of time for me. And something in me has shifted and now I'm more prone to ending things.

Maybe it's that they don't like me as much as I like them? But it's probably also just life and different priorities. I don't want to feel like I'm not a priority."

Real fucking shit.

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By *ingerRapunzelWoman
4 weeks ago

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

We all have busy lives at times but if someone wanted to spend time with you, they will.

If needs aren't being met, move on life is too short for mediocre

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By *oeBeansMan
4 weeks ago

Derby


"Are you allowed to answer if you're in the opposite situation? 😅

Yes!

Btw I have plenty of space for someone. Not sure they do for me "

Cool, so generally things just go quiet if they haven't managed to make time for me and I try not to make too much of a fuss out of fear of coming across as needy or desperate. I'll allude to meeting up a few times but if it becomes impossible to do so, I'll just knock it on the head even if it means losing someone.

Before, I'd still try to make an effort but learned a lot about sunk cost fallacy and hanging onto something unhealthy and causing upset because I might not like the alternative without them

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By *sStephenPickle OP   Man
4 weeks ago

Ends


"Are you allowed to answer if you're in the opposite situation? 😅

Yes!

Btw I have plenty of space for someone. Not sure they do for me

Cool, so generally things just go quiet if they haven't managed to make time for me and I try not to make too much of a fuss out of fear of coming across as needy or desperate. I'll allude to meeting up a few times but if it becomes impossible to do so, I'll just knock it on the head even if it means losing someone.

Before, I'd still try to make an effort but learned a lot about sunk cost fallacy and hanging onto something unhealthy and causing upset because I might not like the alternative without them"

This feels relatable so I’m going to look that fallacy up

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By *urvyLady4BlackMenWoman
4 weeks ago

Norwich

If I don't have the time for someone then I wouldn't have communication with them.

I'm not into playing games so I converse with people I have time for.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
4 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

Everyone makes time for the people that matter to them. Whether that be communication by text, speaking on the phone or meeting in person.

Everyone can be busy with life but that isn’t an excuse. If they don’t make time it means you don’t matter to them. Fact. Been on the receiving end way too many times to ever accept that excuse again 😘

Namaste 🌈

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By *viatrixWoman
4 weeks ago

Redhill

Where I come from we say:

“El interés tiene pies”. (“Interest has feet”)

If you’re interested enough, you will make time. I know very well I have for one or two people. However I’ve never met anyone who makes as heroic efforts as I do…. 😂😂😂😂

Which makes me wonder if it is time to call it a day after 6 years. There just doesn’t seem to be space/time for me. 🤔

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By *ookie46Woman
4 weeks ago

Deepest darkest Peru


"Everyone makes time for the people that matter to them. Whether that be communication by text, speaking on the phone or meeting in person.

Everyone can be busy with life but that isn’t an excuse. If they don’t make time it means you don’t matter to them. Fact. Been on the receiving end way too many times to ever accept that excuse again 😘

Namaste 🌈"

This

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By *ouble-SidedCouple
4 weeks ago

Voldsøy


"Everyone makes time for the people that matter to them. Whether that be communication by text, speaking on the phone or meeting in person.

Everyone can be busy with life but that isn’t an excuse. If they don’t make time it means you don’t matter to them. Fact. Been on the receiving end way too many times to ever accept that excuse again 😘

Namaste 🌈

This "

Yeah, this.

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By *herrybakewellCouple
4 weeks ago

Staffordshire

When we find the right people, we find it much easier to make time for them.

When its forced, and not really what we want, it is much more difficult.

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