FabSwingers.com forum: Chuck Norris appreciation...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I love the random Chuck Norris facts lol heres your chance to show some appreciation with your random facts ill start

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Chuck Norris is so fast he can run round the world and punch himself in the back of the head lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Multiple people have died from chuck norris giving them the finger.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a Cobra.

after several long agonising days, the cobra finally died...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Chuck Norris was once bitten by a Cobra.

after several long agonising days, the cobra finally died... "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris made journey stop believing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

"F**k Chuck Norris"

Can't remember who said that nor in which movie but it stayed imprinted in my simple mind!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris and my dad could have been twins...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*ck down

lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.

pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris makes onions cry

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.

lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about !

Lmao love that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris does not go hunting as the word 'hunting' implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris simple goes killing...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Chuck Norris does not go hunting as the word 'hunting' implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris simple goes killing..."

Ha ha mint

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

Chuck Norris does not get angry, he gets even. (I know feeble)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norrises daughter lost her virginity

He got it back

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whem alexander bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls off chuck norris

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Whem alexander bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls off chuck norris "

Ha ha lmao i like that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris can cut a hot knife with butter

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris is the reason wally is hiding

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris once kicked a horse under the chin

Thats where giraffes came from

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f*ck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Lmfao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris doesnt flush the loo, he scares the shit out of it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris doesnt do press ups

He pushes the earth down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris once made a happy meal cry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris does press ups, he stays still and pushes the world down!

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Chuck Norris can speak Braille !

Lmfao !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris once pissed in the fuel tank of a semi truck , that truck is now Optimus prime

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris once kicked the earth, it hasn't stopped spinning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris is Victoria' Secret!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand. That pirate is now known as Captain Hook

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By *ickloverMan
over a year ago

Devizes

Chuck Norris actually died 7 years ago.. Death has just been too scared to tell him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They're making a sequel to 300 starring Chuck Norris. Its called 1

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By *ustlookingaroundMan
over a year ago

Hull

When god said 'let there be light', Chuck Norris said 'say please'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pyjamas.

lmao

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

chuck norris jokes? has a time machine been invented and its 2005 again?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

Ha ha ha i love that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"chuck norris jokes? has a time machine been invented and its 2005 again?"

Chuck norris jokes happen whenever they want to

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"chuck norris jokes? has a time machine been invented and its 2005 again?

Chuck norris jokes happen whenever they want to"

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris can fold a piece of paper more than 8 times...

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By *ickloverMan
over a year ago

Devizes

Chuck Norris and superman had a fight, the loser had to wear his underpants on the outside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ghosts sit around campfires telling Chuck Norris stories...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ghosts sit around campfires telling Chuck Norris stories..."

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Last one lol.....

When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

Chuck Norris has a big willy and he frees it every opportunity he gets

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Chuck Norris has a big willy and he frees it every opportunity he gets

Chuck Norris only ever shags on top cos Chuck Norris never ever fucks up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Death once had a 'near Chuck Norris' experience!

Chuck Norris can win a game of connect 4 in just 3 moves!

Chuck Norris once crossed the road...no one has ever questioned his motives!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Jeep.

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

"Chuck Norris has a big willy and he frees it every opportunity he gets

Chuck Norris only ever shags on top cos Chuck Norris never ever fucks up

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

"Death once had a 'near Chuck Norris' experience!

Chuck Norris can win a game of connect 4 in just 3 moves!

Chuck Norris once crossed the road...no one has ever questioned his motives!"

Hahahahahaha!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

"When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Enooouuuggh! Aam wetting myself!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way. lmfao

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My personal fave.......

Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

"My personal fave.......

Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.

As it happens, Chuck Norris was my hero when I was younger

Fooking hell! I'd love to meet you...I haven't laughed that much for a long time....Thank you!

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago...

Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My personal fave.......

Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.

As it happens, Chuck Norris was my hero when I was younger

Fooking hell! I'd love to meet you...I haven't laughed that much for a long time....Thank you!

My pleasure

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If you come home to find Chuck Norris doing your wife, it's probably best to go fetch a glass of water and stand there in case Chuck gets thirsty. There ain't no future in any other course of action.

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

"Chuck Norris died 20 years ago...

Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet....."

Wow! nice new avatar....!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris's dick is so big it has its own dick and even that dick is bigger then yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, YOU answer the wrong phone

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

"Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, YOU answer the wrong phone "

I knew 118 118 was a phoney number

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Ok who the fuck is Chuck Norris?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok who the fuck is Chuck Norris? "

You don't find Chuck Norris he finds you

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Ok who the fuck is Chuck Norris?

You don't find Chuck Norris he finds you

ooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkk

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

did you know that chuck norris was actually the no.1 choice to play the part of jack bauer in 24......

but those plans had to be changed when he shot all the terrorists and killed all the baddies in 1hr 23mins....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Chuck Norris becomes stronger everytime someone mentions his name.

Thanks to google...lol

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

Haaaaaaaaa!! Cough cough! Spitting blood hahaaaA!!! Feck feck!!! Where's 118 when u fecking need it!! Splurttwr cough! Annnnnnnd faint!!

Now who's going to give me first aid???

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is an optical illusion. His right foot doesn't swing around and hit your head, his left foot spins the earth so that your head hits his foot.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.

Ha ha pmsl lmfao

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Chuck Norris is on Fab. He has a verification from every member. Even the site owners.

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

"Chuck Norris is on Fab. He has a verification from every member. Even the site owners."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Chuck Norris is on Fab. He has a verification from every member. Even the site owners."

Chuck Norris doesnt need verifying he is FAB lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Haaaaaaaaa!! Cough cough! Spitting blood hahaaaA!!! Feck feck!!! Where's 118 when u fecking need it!! Splurttwr cough! Annnnnnnd faint!!

Now who's going to give me first aid???

"
Mouth to mouth coming up

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

"Haaaaaaaaa!! Cough cough! Spitting blood hahaaaA!!! Feck feck!!! Where's 118 when u fecking need it!! Splurttwr cough! Annnnnnnd faint!!

Now who's going to give me first aid???

Mouth to mouth coming up

Breath in...breath out! And again, and again ...ahhhhh am feeling better..Ta! Ducky...

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