FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Nerves...

Jump to newest
 

By *ric-shawn OP   Man
4 weeks ago

By the beach...

Do any other guys get nervous about messaging people.

As a single guy I know our reputation isn't brilliant.

I've been here a while and got very lucky once which was amazing but I just can't pluck up the courage to message, I'm very polite etc...i guess it's just a polite no and take it on the chin 🤷

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herrybakewellCouple
4 weeks ago

Staffordshire

I used to on my single account, now I dont really care.

Worst scenario, they dont reply. Its not the end of the world.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andadbodMan
4 weeks ago

Liverpool

I’ve always been hesitant in the past when messaging, specially the women only profiles, most of the time it will be ignored or just deleted, but as the saying goes, you don’t know if you don’t ask, what have you got to lose?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aughtynice78Man
4 weeks ago

Telford


"Do any other guys get nervous about messaging people.

As a single guy I know our reputation isn't brilliant.

I've been here a while and got very lucky once which was amazing but I just can't pluck up the courage to message, I'm very polite etc...i guess it's just a polite no and take it on the chin 🤷"

I totally sympathise, not entirely sure why it makes me nervous

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *innersh WillMan
4 weeks ago

.

As I’ve got older one thing experience has told me is that you never score the shots you don’t take.

So they reject you. Meh. Their loss (actually it isn’t, as they never wanted to meet you anyway but you get my drift)

If you’re polite and a decent chap (as you say you are) get yerself to a club and mingle there and let your personality flow out.

These days I do all my “sex people” activity in clubs. Cuts out all the admin and bureaucracy and much more effective way of getting your willy wet

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondonMan
4 weeks ago

Mayfair

Dear OP, if your intent is to send 'solicited' messages then you shouldn't feel nervous or inhibited. Sending a polite and personalised message is totally fine, assuming that you've read the recipient's profile and there are some potential compatibilities.

Send with no expectations and delete your message from the Sent 'folder'. 🩶

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ric-shawn OP   Man
4 weeks ago

By the beach...

I guess I'm still new to all this...I worry that someone might reply! Lol!...

I always read everything as I really don't want to be rude? And I guess sometimes you get some information to start a conversation?

I'll have to put the proverbial big boy pants on I think...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ric-shawn OP   Man
4 weeks ago

By the beach...

Clubs scare the life out of me!...always fancied it but just have visions of myself sat at a bar alone lol!.. A long way too go till I get to that point I think?...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hickthighs25Woman
4 weeks ago

Stockton

Go for it OP nothing ventured nothing gained you seem like a pleasant chap 👍

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aphunterMan
4 weeks ago

woking

Just be polite and read their profiles and try and find something you like about what they said and make sure not to message if they aren’t looking. Nothing to lose mate!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ric-shawn OP   Man
4 weeks ago

By the beach...


"Go for it OP nothing ventured nothing gained you seem like a pleasant chap 👍"

Thankyou, I try to be, it's quite difficult getting that over in a message?

I always say "pleasant chap" with a posh English accent 😂

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ioletVvitchTV/TS
4 weeks ago

London

The nerves can add to the excitement I find, but yeah don't let them hold you back from a polite first message. You never know what might come from it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hickthighs25Woman
4 weeks ago

Stockton


"Go for it OP nothing ventured nothing gained you seem like a pleasant chap 👍

Thankyou, I try to be, it's quite difficult getting that over in a message?

I always say "pleasant chap" with a posh English accent 😂"

Good as thats exactly how i speak 👀👀👀🤣

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he MinionMan
4 weeks ago

.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Nerves are part of it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aphunterMan
4 weeks ago

woking


"Go for it OP nothing ventured nothing gained you seem like a pleasant chap 👍

Thankyou, I try to be, it's quite difficult getting that over in a message?

I always say "pleasant chap" with a posh English accent 😂

Good as thats exactly how i speak 👀👀👀🤣"

We know your posh 😘

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hickthighs25Woman
4 weeks ago

Stockton


"Go for it OP nothing ventured nothing gained you seem like a pleasant chap 👍

Thankyou, I try to be, it's quite difficult getting that over in a message?

I always say "pleasant chap" with a posh English accent 😂

Good as thats exactly how i speak 👀👀👀🤣

We know your posh 😘"

Thank you kind sir 😘

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aphunterMan
4 weeks ago

woking


"Go for it OP nothing ventured nothing gained you seem like a pleasant chap 👍

Thankyou, I try to be, it's quite difficult getting that over in a message?

I always say "pleasant chap" with a posh English accent 😂

Good as thats exactly how i speak 👀👀👀🤣

We know your posh 😘

Thank you kind sir 😘"

LordBap of Bap Manor xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eardedguy83Man
4 weeks ago

Worcestershire

Yep, extremely nervous OP. I’m always a bit shocked when i get a reply. I try to send a polite message, referring to something in the profile.

I spend ages composing messages. I think perhaps I overthink or bore the pants off them 🤣

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
4 weeks ago

Central

No.

Being polite and respectful is essential. Message away

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *JB1954Man
4 weeks ago

Reading

I have found now . Being older , single male. Basically I either message , wink or both . Then wait and see. No reply ? Move on . Yes I do get some replies . Note messages I send are not cut and paste.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ighlandCooWoman
3 weeks ago

Chesterfield

[Removed by poster at 29/06/25 08:19:10]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ighlandCooWoman
3 weeks ago

Chesterfield

OP, send the message.

As a single woman on here, I reply most to messages that show they've read my profile, don't assume they will be answered, and attach a face picture when they send.

If there's an attraction for me with that then I'll reply with a face pic to see whether they find me attractive and then we chat.

Please don't copy and paste the same message to loads of women, it is very obvious and is an instant delete for me, especially if they've left the wrong name at the top! 🤣

Keep in mind that you can easily read the first sentence or two without opening the message.

Shoot your shot, you've nothing to lose and everything to gain!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *vaRoseWoman
3 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

You miss every shot you don’t take

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
3 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

Having the ball bounce back and smack you in the face repeatedly hurts after a while 🤣

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *y_journeyMan
3 weeks ago

newark

Just remember we can’t all be suited for everyone otherwise that would just be boring.

My best advice is just be yourself.

The right connection will validate that, the wrong won’t so don’t chase!

Know your worth & trust your intuition 👍

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ealitybitesMan
3 weeks ago

Belfast

Rather than feeling you "got lucky" once look at it as you would a normal conversation with anyone on the street regardless of gender.

If you start out thinking that there are different levels on here or that you are out of someone's league that will often reflect in how you speak to them and many women aren't comfortable being put on a pedestal or spoken up to.

Forget about the pictures on profiles and don't base your messages on those alone.

Look at the bio which is often a better reflection of personality or character and go from there.

There is a fine line between a polite respectful approach and a sycophantic one but knowing and understanding the difference means luck doesn't come into the equation.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top