FabSwingers.com forum: Having concerns as soon as you meet

By *ayHaych OP Man
3 weeks ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

On a few occassions (very very few) I have met someone and when the clothes come off I have noticed something on their body which makes me concerned. Perhaps I have my own health anxiety and read too much into things. But for example, a rather red rash in an intimate area was one, or rather sore looking boobs was another. These things were not visible on their photos.

So I have then polietly said I’m no longer feeling it, and afterward the people have been rather anxious to know what went wrong m. So I lie and say it’s me, or it’s my mind being on work, or that I just can’t get out of my own head (partly true), etc. But then they’re wondering why I’m no longer interested at all if it was just me “being anxious” on the day.

On the other hand I feel like they deserve to know the truth, but feel unkind to say. What if it’s nothing and just a natural part of their body which they then may become very self-conscious about? Or I just sound like a dick? At the same time I do not feel it is being a dick to protect myself if I’m worried about something being contagious. Also once that is in my head it does kill the mood for me as I can’t get past it.

I’m only asking because this feels like a sensitive issue which I would like to be prepared for in the future. Has anyone had these situations before? How do you deal with them compassionately?

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

You mean “whats that green stuff oozing from your cock” situation ?

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By *ayHaych OP Man
3 weeks ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

"You mean “whats that green stuff oozing from your cock” situation ?

I would likely rephrase, but the sentiment is correct. I have not come across oozing green stuff though…

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By *weetWithATw1stWoman
3 weeks ago

MiddleofMyStreet

personally i'd prefer to be told, not bluntly but if for example i had a rash on my bits and it made someone worry... i would prefer if they went ah i am sorry but the rash there, do you know what it is etc.... just have an adult conversation about it... xx

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
3 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

To my mind you handled it tactfully. You even said , 'it's just me' , which isn't a lie.

If I'd just met someone e.g. a first meet for sex and they suddenly said, 'Scuse but are you okay your boobs look really sore.' ........ there is NO WAY i'd calmly reply , 'yeah that's just how they are,' and carry on banging like a bunny. I wouldn't be angry but it'd be a sex stopper.

If i'd know you for ages i'd just answer you in a matter of fact way ....

If you are extra cautious so be it....

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
3 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

P.S. Describe the rash ..... share the intimate place ......

There's difference between a rash and skin colour

We are all different colours in different temperatures or under different light

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By *allySlinkyWoman
3 weeks ago

Leeds

OP you must be really unlucky because after ten years of swinging in clubs I have seen several thousand naked people and I have never once seen sore boobs or an intimate rash

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By *mmaleiaWoman
3 weeks ago

Trowbridge

I have 3 small white Sebaceous gland spots on my outer labia, I’ve always been massively conscious about them, they’ve been there since my early 20’s, but not 1 guy has ever mentioned them & haven’t noticed them until I’ve brought the subject up.

I had a small rash after I’d shaved once, I did explain I hadn’t shaved my winter coat for a while 😏

It’s always worth asking, most are explainable. Maybe meet her again & see where it goes from there

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
3 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

She is registered blind tho .......

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By *h3rry Bomb80Man
3 weeks ago

from mars

"You mean “whats that green stuff oozing from your cock” situation ?

😂 … haha

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By *weetWithATw1stWoman
3 weeks ago

MiddleofMyStreet

"I have 3 small white Sebaceous gland spots on my outer labia, I’ve always been massively conscious about them, they’ve been there since my early 20’s, but not 1 guy has ever mentioned them & haven’t noticed them until I’ve brought the subject up.

I had a small rash after I’d shaved once, I did explain I hadn’t shaved my winter coat for a while 😏

It’s always worth asking, most are explainable. Maybe meet her again & see where it goes from there"

I find when shaving the winter coat get a slight rash... or if i been in a rush shaving i get a rash... never had it mentioned to me... xx

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By *eiaorganaWoman
3 weeks ago

Dundee

It does sound a bit Chandler Bing tbh, unless someone is oozing or itching does it matter?

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
3 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

Just me but I would rather know (in a kindly way) and I have asked before about marks that concerned me on others.

If you say “it’s just me” I would feel you saw me naked and found me unbearable. I’d rather know that you found a spot I’d picked on my bum and it make you understandably anxious

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By *hortieWoman
3 weeks ago

Northampton

I have HS (Hidradenitis Suppurativa), mostly affects my groin.

That's a fun one to try and explain to a newbie.

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By *ingle To MingleMan
3 weeks ago

Swalwell

Once got a message from a lovely sounding SSBBW, out of the area.

Unfortunately she didn't have photos but after chatting for some time I made the decision to risk it - fully expecting a time waster to be behind it but shy bairns get nowt.

When she opened the front door, her face was covered in spots - not acne but what looked like a really bad rash.

She said it breaks out every few years and not to worry about it (I was still kinda worried but thought let's keep it to just a social for now and a coffee).

We sat down, had a few laughs and as she was just in one of those novelty very short Primark nighties (live laugh love or something on the front) it meant that every time she moved I got a full view of a very nice arse and her white knickers mmm.

So of course my cock started doing the thinking and I commented on how nice her knickers looked, she asked me to return the favour etc and show her mine and not before long we were touching each other but I was constantly hesitant to use anything other than parts of my body I could bleach afterwards - so basically only my hands .

She did have a few orgasms and I'd promised to return at a later date for a proper meet but my heart and my libido wasn't in it.

I felt bad for ghosting her as she was a lovely lass but I was just immature, it was probably just dermatitis or eczema.

I still feel bad about it all these years later and keep an eye out for her so I can apologise but alas I've not seen her since (I think she was married maybe and it was just a burner account).

We all have things outside of our control regardless of hygiene - rashes, sore red patches of skin, psoriasis etc. Especially if you're of the cuddle build type and we're talking about areas that don't get good airflow around them.

However, my mate once pulled a lass in a club while shit faced, went down on her, she was on her period but it didn't phase him, started to rim her only to find out she had worms. The poor bastard. Lol

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By *offysmangoMan
3 weeks ago

Colchester

Whether you say it or not, the moments ruined for either you or the other. If it were Me, and I was already out of the moment, I'd give her the transparency, and mention my reasons. She'll either laugh it off and say it's nothing, or feel uncomfortable afterwards. Either way you've left with your head held high because you've respected your body to be cautious but respected her enough to tell her the truth.

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By *offysmangoMan
3 weeks ago

Colchester

"Once got a message from a lovely sounding SSBBW, out of the area.

Unfortunately she didn't have photos but after chatting for some time I made the decision to risk it - fully expecting a time waster to be behind it but shy bairns get nowt.

When she opened the front door, her face was covered in spots - not acne but what looked like a really bad rash.

She said it breaks out every few years and not to worry about it (I was still kinda worried but thought let's keep it to just a social for now and a coffee).

She did have a few orgasms and I'd promised to return at a later date for a proper meet but my heart and my libido wasn't in it.

I felt bad for ghosting her as she was a lovely lass but I was just immature, it was probably just dermatitis or eczema.

I still feel bad about it all these years later and keep an eye out for her so I can apologise but alas I've not seen her since (I think she was married maybe and it was just a burner account).

Cheers, I got HPV just reading that.

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By *ellicateMan
3 weeks ago

Forfar

"Cheers, I got HPV just reading that. "

Hahaha, I'm browsing n reading whilst eating...

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By *ora the explorerWoman
3 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

I have a small patch of eczema on my bum cheek. I’m never meeting anyone ever again 😕

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By *ellinever70Woman
3 weeks ago

Ayrshire

"I have a small patch of eczema on my bum cheek. I’m never meeting anyone ever again 😕"

Just meet the folks with a more realistic expectation of how a body looks

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By *eiaorganaWoman
3 weeks ago

Dundee

The thing is though, if you've been willing and enthusiastic up until the point they have got naked, suddenly saying that the issue is you and not them isn't going to fool anyone, and they will still feel embarrassed and uncomfortable.

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