FabSwingers.com forum: Post your dad jokes

By *entleman_of_pleasure OP Man
4 weeks ago

Manchester

I was walking past my fridge last night and thought I heard two onions singing a Bee Gees song.

But when I opened the door, it was just chives talking.

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By *entleman_of_pleasure OP Man
4 weeks ago

Manchester

I know it's a long shot, but do any of you know what a trebuchet is?

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By *owcat007Man
4 weeks ago

bradford

"I know it's a long shot, but do any of you know what a trebuchet is?"

no what's a trebuchet ?

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By *ooLou89Woman
4 weeks ago

Nottinghamshire

I bet my wife I could make a car out of spaghetti… should’ve seen her face as I drove pasta

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By *wo 4 fun with womenCouple
4 weeks ago

Aldershot

[Removed by poster at 25/06/25 17:54:08]

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By *wo 4 fun with womenCouple
4 weeks ago

Aldershot

Why did the Avon lady walk funny?

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By *entleman_of_pleasure OP Man
4 weeks ago

Manchester

"Why did the Avon lady walk funny?"

I don't know, why did the Avon lady walk funny?

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By *agic.MMan
4 weeks ago

Orpington

I woke up this morning and my wife was gone...went down to the kitchen and all I found was this note with her handwriting on the fridge, saying "this isn't working anymore "...opened the fridge and it was working fine ... 👀

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By *wo 4 fun with womenCouple
4 weeks ago

Aldershot

"Why did the Avon lady walk funny?

I don't know, why did the Avon lady walk funny? "

Because of her lipstick

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By *ldbutable1Man
4 weeks ago

south ockendon

how do you make a nun pregnant ???

FUCK HER

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By *ancashireredheadWoman
4 weeks ago

Up North

I have 2 dogs called Calvin and Klein …. They’re both boxers.

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By *layfullsamMan
4 weeks ago

Solihull

Mickey Mouse goes to his lawyer to divorce Minnie Mouse. The lawyer says, "You can't divorce Minnie Mouse just because you say she's crazy!"

Mickey says, "I didn't say she was crazy. I said she was fucking Goofy!"

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By *ony 2016Man
4 weeks ago

lincs /Hudd & Derby cinema

Friend of mine had to pack his job in as a RAC patrolman , when I asked "why?" He said it was because of all the anxiety,stress and worry , apparently every time he got a call out he felt like he was on his way to another breakdown

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By *olf-of-OdinMan
4 weeks ago

Winchester

I had a date with a woman who works at the Zoo.

She's a keeper.

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By *rtwisted98Man
4 weeks ago

Market harborough

2 guys walk into a bar the third 1 ducks

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By *ancashireredheadWoman
4 weeks ago

Up North

I always wondered what my parents did to fight the boredom before the internet….

I asked my 18 siblings but they didn’t know either.

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By *rostgiantMan
4 weeks ago

Wilts

What do you do when you see a space man?

You park man

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

“Dad why did you and Mum name my Sister Teresa?”.

Well son your Mum loves Easter time so Teresa is an anagram of Easter .

Oh right thanks Dad .

No problem Alan

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By *entleman_of_pleasure OP Man
4 weeks ago

Manchester

Elvis Presley was once interviewed about UK supermarkets. They talked about Waitrose, Co-op, Sainsbury’s, Morrisons, Tesco, Asda

and Aldi.

It was a Lidl-less conversation.

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By *vaRoseWoman
4 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

"I know it's a long shot, but do any of you know what a trebuchet is?"

🤣

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By *layfullsamMan
4 weeks ago

Solihull

A man takes his family to the zoo and is extremely disappointed to find it has only one animal, a dog

It's a Shih Tzu.

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By *y_journeyMan
4 weeks ago

newark

I was invited to the Premature Ejaculation Society’s Dinner

I asked what the dress code was and told to just come in my pants

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By *escourtesMan
4 weeks ago

hereford

I used to enjoy Tap dancing, until I fell in the sink

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By *nJayBeeMan
4 weeks ago

Pershore

I saw an office worked sitting in a tree. He told me he was a branch manager.

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By *icebutNortyMan
4 weeks ago

North West

What did the drummer name his twin daughters?

Anna one, Anna two

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By *allipygousMan
4 weeks ago

Leicester

"“Dad why did you and Mum name my Sister Teresa?”.

Well son your Mum loves Easter time so Teresa is an anagram of Easter .

Oh right thanks Dad .

No problem Alan

Shows my level of humour because this is the best so far for me 😁

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By *imply_SensualMan
4 weeks ago

Cheshire

Met a woman called Carmen once, I said "Nice Name" and she told me it typifies what shes likes in life, cars and men.

She then asked what my name was.....

So I replied "Lagerfanny"

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By *tar_Buck_81Man
4 weeks ago

San Fran Exeter

What do you call a magical dog?

A Labracadabrador...

Boom boom...

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By *tar_Buck_81Man
4 weeks ago

San Fran Exeter

I asked a German lady for her phone number, the first digit was "nein" I'm still waiting for the rest...

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By *westoralistMan
4 weeks ago

SOUTHPORT

Which bees make milk.................................. ...boobies

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

"“Dad why did you and Mum name my Sister Teresa?”.

Well son your Mum loves Easter time so Teresa is an anagram of Easter .

Oh right thanks Dad .

No problem Alan

Shows my level of humour because this is the best so far for me 😁"

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By *entleman_of_pleasure OP Man
4 weeks ago

Manchester

A British Gas repairman asked me the time. I said it’s between 8am and 5pm.

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By *ub_boiMan
4 weeks ago

manchester

A frog had his DNA tested.

Turns out he’s part Irish, part French and just a tad Pole.

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By *entleman_of_pleasure OP Man
4 weeks ago

Manchester

It's so hot right now, I wonder if chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

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By *lue MancMan
4 weeks ago

Manchester

It's a medieval sling shot

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By *weetWithATw1stWoman
4 weeks ago

MiddleofMyStreet

My partner found out i was cheating on him when he found all the letters....

He is now mad and said he will never play scrabble with me ever again

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By *reeneggsandsamMan
4 weeks ago

Perpignan and cap

What's the difference between an elephant and a post box?

Dunno?

Well I'm not sending you to post my letters!

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
4 weeks ago

The Velvet Den of Desire

Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

- Because they don’t have the guts.

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By *entleman_of_pleasure OP Man
2 weeks ago

Manchester

If anyone knows how to correct cosmetic surgery that’s gone wrong, I’m all ears...

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By *emonochromeMan
2 weeks ago

Watford

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday… those were the days

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By *afkaMan
2 weeks ago

Nottingham

"I was walking past my fridge last night and thought I heard two onions singing a Bee Gees song.

But when I opened the door, it was just chives talking."

🤣

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By *ldbutable1Man
2 weeks ago

south ockendon

how do you make a(add race of yr choice) woman pregnant

cum on her shoes and let the flies do the rest

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By *ldbutable1Man
2 weeks ago

south ockendon

2 flies on a fanny , which one is on drugs

the one sniffing up the crack

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By *eeshelleTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Marlow

"I had a date with a woman who works at the Zoo.

She's a keeper. "
the first one that made me laugh

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By *hGlobbitsMan
2 weeks ago

Leeds

Hey kid, did you know I can jump higher than a house,

Whoa - really, dad?

Well, yeah - houses can't jump!

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Horsham

A joke, is not a Dad joke, until it is fully groan.....

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By *haron StonerTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Haywards Heath

What's a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery guy got in common?

They both know if they scrape the box, they can get some tasty cheesy bits!

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By *haron StonerTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Haywards Heath

What do you call a lesbian with braces?

A box cutter!

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By (user no longer on site)
2 weeks ago

Whats the difference between a joke and three cocks?

Most women cant take a joke

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By *haron StonerTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Haywards Heath

My friend is a shepherd, I asked him how many girlfriends he's had.

He fell asleep counting them...

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By *hGlobbitsMan
2 weeks ago

Leeds

Did you hear about the bald cat who tried to catch a bus?

The driver wouldn't let him on because he didn't have any fare (fur - geddit?)

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By *r greys ugly brotherMan
2 weeks ago

leeds

Got a call tonight saying "your wife's in casualty " ...

Well I sat and watched 2 full episodes and did I see her ? No

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By *entleman_of_pleasure OP Man
2 weeks ago

Manchester

Though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player.

Love means nothing to them.

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By *lyingsolo1000Woman
2 weeks ago

Reading

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

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By *nJayBeeMan
2 weeks ago

Pershore

I heard this one on LOL.

I saw a man get up from behind a gravestone.

"Morning", I said.

"No, I was taking a shit"

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By *ORDERMANMan
2 weeks ago

wrexham(south)

Got to feel for Greggs staff in this heat wave...they must be baking

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By *aughtynice78Man
2 weeks ago

Telford

My friend designed an invisible aeroplane...

I can't see his idea taking off

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By *layfullsamMan
2 weeks ago

Solihull

I told my wife she drew her eyebrows on too high.

She looked surprised.

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By *entleman_of_pleasure OP Man
2 weeks ago

Manchester

My wife will go bananas when she finds out I’ve lost her copy of Schubert’s Unfinished Symphony.

I’ll never hear the end of it.

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By *obinhood-maidmarionCouple
2 weeks ago

Gangbang

I went to a Chinese restaurant the other day and it had all war memorabilia on the wall, some pictures of pilots and stuff.

I sat admiring them and the waiter came over said they were pictures of him.

He said he was a Kamakazi pilot in the war and his code name was Chow Mein

I said Bollax, Kamakazi pilots were supposed to crash planes and die

He said yes

He was Chicken Chow Mein

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By *eaAndBiscuit1989Man
2 weeks ago

Burnley

My best friend died from heart burn.

Can't believe Gav is gone.

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By *issolvedOrdersMan
2 weeks ago

Bristol

Have you heard about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He lay awake all night wondering if there really was a dog

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By *eordieJeansCouple
2 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Why did the call it PMS?

Because mad cow disease was already taken.

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By *entleman_of_pleasure OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

Got chatting to a woman in a bar last night. She said to me 'come outside and I'll show you a good time.'

So I went outside with her, and she ran 100 metres in 9.98 seconds.

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By *ty31Man
1 week ago

NW London

A couple from Tommy Cooper:

___

A cop arrested two kids yesterday - one was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks

He charged one and let the other one off

___

Sad day today, my father passed away this morning.

He drowned in a bowl of museli.

A strong currant pulled him in

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By *uperSalopian7Man
1 week ago

Shrewsbury

I've got a great job working in a helium factory.

I can't speak highly enough of the place

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By *uperSalopian7Man
1 week ago

Shrewsbury

I gave my handyman a to do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3 and 5.

Turns out he only does odd jobs

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By *azmar62Couple
1 week ago

Hinckley

Two elephants fell off a cliff. Boom boom

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By *entleman_of_pleasure OP Man
1 week ago

Manchester

My wife was bitten by a radioactive owl and has started making all my decisions for me.

She's been given power of a tawny.

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By *estinysswingersCouple
1 week ago

Worsley

What do you call a couple who have sex in a hammock?

Swingers.

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By *injasparrowMan
1 week ago

Woking

My brother bought home a goldfish he won at the fair but the next morning we found him dead in the pond. Now I have to look after the bloody goldfish

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By *emonochromeMan
1 week ago

Watford

Did you know diarrhoea is hereditary? Runs in the jeans.

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By *hePervertedPlumberMan
1 week ago

Edinburgh

I make a point of saying "mucho" as often as possible when I'm with my Spanish friends as it means alot to them

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By *entleman_of_pleasure OP Man
7 days ago

Manchester

I keep having a recurring dream that I’m a horse.

That’s five nights on the trot now.

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By *exyInLatinMan
7 days ago

Warsop

How do you make a Swiss roll? Push him down a hill

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By *oeBeansMan
7 days ago

Derby

To whoever stole my wig... There will be hell toupee!

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By *oeBeansMan
7 days ago

Derby

My wife kicked me out the house because I kept incorrectly quoting the Terminator films but don't worry, I'll return

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By *oeBeansMan
7 days ago

Derby

Where does a General keep his armies? In his sleevies

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By *estmids71Man
7 days ago

Wolverhampton

An old married couple are in church service on sunday. The elderly lady leans over to her husband and whispers “I just let go a really long, silent fart. What should I do?”

The husband looks back at her and says "change the battery on your hearing aid".

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By *ancashireredheadWoman
7 days ago

Up North

I made a chicken salad yesterday…..

Turns out they prefer grains.

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By *hePervertedPlumberMan
7 days ago

Edinburgh

I was having a wank the other night, just about to cum when my bedroom door opened and my gran walked in. She had a stroke. I was in shock. I can't believe how soft her hands are

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By *oeBeansMan
7 days ago

Derby

I once went to an archaeology party where everyone was looking for the remains of a lower leg. It was quite the shindig.

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By *hat.coupleCouple
7 days ago

Kent

This thread is dangerous 😳

Mrs x

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By *oeBeansMan
7 days ago

Derby

A Priest, a Pastor, and a Rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asks the Rabbit "What blood type are you?"

"I think I'm a Type-O", replied the Rabbit.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
7 days ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"I once went to an archaeology party where everyone was looking for the remains of a lower leg. It was quite the shindig."

That actually made me chuckle

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By *cLovin2Man
7 days ago

London

Ok not a 'safe' dad joke but a more filthy joke.

Two gay men are travelling on a plane. Let's call them Steve and Bill.

"Dude, what if we had sex?" asks Steve.

"You crazy? Here, on the plane? It would be awkward, everyone would watch us doing it..."

"Man, nobody is even paying attention to anything. Look!"

Steve stands up and asks loudly:

"Could I have a napkin, please?"

Nobody gives a damn. Everyone is sleeping, reading, looking out the window, etc.

"They really wouldn't care then, would they?" says Bill.

So Steve and Bill have wild sex on the plane.

Later, when the plane arrives to the airport and the people are leaving, the stewardess sees an old man who threw up all over his shirt, even his pants are soaking in the filth.

"Sir, you should've asked for a bag!"

"I didn't dare" whispers the old man. "A few rows ahead I saw a man asking for a napkin and he got fucked in the ass…”

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By *ryingitout19Man
7 days ago

Wales

Knock knock,

Who’s there?

The interrupting cow.

The interrupting cow wh…….MOO!

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By *luelion73Man
7 days ago

Wimbledon / Margate

Why did the Oyster leave the party early ?

Because it pulled a Mussel

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By *ottsladredMan
6 days ago

Mansfield

What do you call a man with no shins?....Tony

What was his brothers name?....Neil

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By *inning2399Man
6 days ago

wirral

What did the fish say when it swam in2 the wall?

Dam

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By *ressF4FunMan
6 days ago

Near Naas

There are two fish in a tank one turns to the other and asks do you know how to drive this

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By *icehornyextremefilrhMan
6 days ago

batley

What does a drummer call his twin baby girls?

Anna 1 Anna 2

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By *abluesbabyMan
6 days ago

Gibraltar/Cheshire/London

Where do you find a cat with no legs???

Where you left it.

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By *abluesbabyMan
6 days ago

Gibraltar/Cheshire/London

How do you make a cat go woof???

Douse it in pertrol. Strike the match....

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By *ottsladredMan
6 days ago

Mansfield

Far too risky for most of my jokes, would guarantee me being banned

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By *ottsladredMan
6 days ago

Mansfield

My family got upset cause I slept with my 3rd cousin....I don't see the issue cause they didn't care about the 1st 2

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
6 days ago

Willenhall

Has anyone seen my pet potato? It got out when I left the kitchen door open.

It's small, round, slightly red and has 6 eyes.

It hasn't been chipped.

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By *litterbabeWoman
6 days ago

hiding from cock pics

Everyone said " you just have to swim with the dolphins..it's so great"...long story short, this is my second day in the tuna net...

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By *uke-de-PleasureMan
6 days ago

Leeds

A bloke walks into a pub with a frog on his head and the landlord says "That's a funny thing to have!" and the frog says "Yeah I know, it started off as a boil on me arse"

Charles

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By *elshlad85Man
6 days ago

Wrexham

What did the grape say when it got stepped on?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine

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By *rown.studMan
5 days ago

Thornaby

My dad got fired as a Road worker for theft…….

Couldn’t believe it

but when I got home all the signs were there

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By *apt peteMan
4 days ago

Peterborough

A man was hospitalised with 6 horses inside him.

Doctors say he's now stable.

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By *inning2399Man
4 days ago

wirral

What did the fish say when it swam in2 the wall ?

Damm

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By *ORDERMANMan
4 days ago

wrexham(south)

"Everyone said " you just have to swim with the dolphins..it's so great"...long story short, this is my second day in the tuna net..."

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By *ay6eeMan
4 days ago

South Wales

I can't post my Dad... the urn won't fit in the postbox!

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
4 days ago

Willenhall

My grandfather couldn't bear to throw anything away.

Which is probably why he died during WWII holding a hand grenade.

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By *ictoria_1976TV/TS
4 days ago

lanson

I actually quite like telling Dad jokes

.... sometimes he even laughs at them

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By *enlikesbothMan
4 days ago

york area or visiting

You’re only as old as you feel…. Said my dad with his 26 year old new girlfriend

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By *oonbath89Man
4 days ago

radstock

Velcro …..rip off

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By *ombull15Man
4 days ago

essex

What do you call a bullet proof Irish man ?

Rick oshea

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By *hePervertedPlumberMan
4 days ago

Edinburgh

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff.

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
3 days ago

Willenhall

What is it called when a chameleon can't change it's colours?

A reptile dysfunction.

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By *ommeLadyWoman
3 days ago

yeovil

What do you call a magician who’s lost their magic?

Ian.

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
3 days ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…

What’s the difference between Bird Flu & Swine Flu?

One requires OINKment. The other requires TWEETment

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By *rthur30Man
3 days ago

Warrington

"What do you call a magician who’s lost their magic?

Ian. "

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
3 days ago

Manchester(ish).

What do you call a septic cat?

Pus.

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By *lymanMan
3 days ago

PLYMOUTH

My wife phoned me to say she saw a fox on the way to work

I said how do you know he was on the way to work

She hung up

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By *ermite12ukMan
3 days ago

Solihull and Romford

Pinched this off the net:

An Englishman, Welsh man, and a Pakistani gentleman, walk into the maternity wing reception, of their local hospital.

One by one, they say they've all arrived to collect their newborn sons.

A Doctor was summoned and informed them that there had been a bit of a mix-up, and can't with any certainty say, whose is who's.

Now you or I in this situation would probably return home and inform our legal representative. But this being a joke, the three men agree, to sort it out, between them.

As is the English man's right. (Alphabetically speaking anyway.

) He goes in first and emerges quite clearly even to the medically untrained eye. With the Pakistani child. Everyone agrees, and the agrieved Pakistani gentleman, says as much.

The Englisman replied: Sorry, mate. But one of those two in there is Welsh, and I, for one, aren't taking any chances.

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By *ORDERMANMan
3 days ago

wrexham(south)

"Pinched this off the net:

An Englishman, Welsh man, and a Pakistani gentleman, walk into the maternity wing reception, of their local hospital.

One by one, they say they've all arrived to collect their newborn sons.

A Doctor was summoned and informed them that there had been a bit of a mix-up, and can't with any certainty say, whose is who's.

Now you or I in this situation would probably return home and inform our legal representative. But this being a joke, the three men agree, to sort it out, between them.

As is the English man's right. (Alphabetically speaking anyway.

) He goes in first and emerges quite clearly even to the medically untrained eye. With the Pakistani child. Everyone agrees, and the agrieved Pakistani gentleman, says as much.

The Englisman replied: Sorry, mate. But one of those two in there is Welsh, and I, for one, aren't taking any chances.

That is one of my favorite Simon Evans jokes...and I'm Welsh..!!

My other favorite anti Welsh is as follows..

A travelling salesman is returning home to england through the hills of mid Wales one evening and is need of a comfort stop...

When he comes across a pub in the middle of nowhere with suprisingly a pretty full car park. Pulling in he parks the car and approaches the pub where he can hear the hum of conversation. As he enters a deathly silence ensues and all eyes are on him..he goes to the toilet and returning to the bar he orders a shandy...

The silence continues as the landlord pulls his pint and engages in conversation with the salesman having picked up his english accent.asks

"Where you be from"

I'm on my way to england I've been selling my goods"

"Oh" enquires the landlord "what goods would they be ?"

"Well I'm a taxidermist" replies the salesman..

The whole pub is in silence listening to this conversation

"Taxidermist..?" "What would that be then" asks the landlord

The salesman has had a long day and decides that instead of explaining the intricacies of his occupTion he decided that he'd keep things simple as the landlord wasn't familiar with his occupation..

"Well" says salesman "to put things simply...I stuff dead animals"

Looking up the landlord shouts to the rest of the pub

"It's OK boys he's one of us"

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By *layfullsamMan
3 days ago

Solihull

What do you call a guy with a small co.k

Just-in

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By *omwinchesterMan
3 days ago

Romsey

What does a horny frog say?

Rubbit

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By *ingerTatsMuscleMan
3 days ago

Brum

There was two fish in a tank,

One said to the other: "can I drive this time"

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By *ena AmourTV/TS
3 days ago

Chard

Did you hear the one about a magic tractor?

Probably not because it turned into a field.

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By *eorge1949Man
3 days ago

BroadwayWR12

A tractor drove by.

The driver was shouting,

‘Beware ye sinners the end is nigh’

I guess it was Farmer Gedden.

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By *eorge1949Man
3 days ago

BroadwayWR12

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug

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By *eorge1949Man
3 days ago

BroadwayWR12

Why does a dog wear a fur coat?

Cos he would silly in an anorak.

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By *i in BedfordMan
3 days ago

South east

Why can't you wear a thong in Ukraine? Chernobyl fallout

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By *i in BedfordMan
3 days ago

South east

Two elderly ladies meet for coffee. One asks the other "did you come on the bus?" To which the other replies "yes, but I made it look like a sneezing fit"

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By *uck soupMan
3 days ago

Portsmouth

Frog goes to doctors for a DNA test, a week later he hops back for results, doctor tells him, he is a little bit English, a wee bit Scottish and a tad pole

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By *i in BedfordMan
3 days ago

South east

A German walks in to a pub and asks for a bottle of white wine, the barman says "dry?" The German replies "no, only one"

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By *vonne5exMan
3 days ago

Doncaster

What's big and red and eats rocks?

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By *i in BedfordMan
3 days ago

South east

Not so much a joke as an anecdote. At the 1953 coronation the late Queen climbed in to the gold state coach wearing the imperial state crown. Prince Philip apparently sent the Queen in to fits of giggles by asking her "where on earth did you get that hat?"

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By *adagastMan
3 days ago

Rotherham

The publishing house wouldn't touch the book I wrote on penguins. I suppose I really should have used paper.

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By *indergirlWoman
3 days ago

somewhere, someplace

Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties......

Because he's a Funghi

Badoom tisch

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By *hePervertedPlumberMan
3 days ago

Edinburgh

Why can't you believe anything atoms say?

Because they make up everything

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By *INKYLOVE69Couple
3 days ago

funky town

A penguin walks into a bar and asks the bartender if his brother had been in and the bartender replies I don't know what does he look like

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By *exyInLatinMan
3 days ago

Warsop

I went to buy camouflage trousers but couldn’t find any anywhere

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By *lind leading the blindCouple
3 days ago

West Bromwich

What’s a pirates favourite shop…

Aaarrrgos xx

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By *entlemanJay39Man
3 days ago

Northampton

A classic in our house is when the oldest will say, "I'm Hungry/I'm Thirsty".

The only reply is, "Hi Hungry, I'm Dad". 😅

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By *exyInLatinMan
3 days ago

Warsop

"A classic in our house is when the oldest will say, "I'm Hungry/I'm Thirsty".

The only reply is, "Hi Hungry, I'm Dad". 😅"

Yeah my son gets very annoyed at this!!

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By *lind leading the blindCouple
3 days ago

West Bromwich

If my son says he’s thirsty I say im Friday nice to meet u lol.

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By *eorge1949Man
3 days ago

BroadwayWR12

A man walks into a pub.

He gets a black eye and a broken nose.

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By *entlemanJay39Man
3 days ago

Northampton

I worked with a guy who loved to sit on the outside of a window.

What a ledge

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By *en_kMan
2 days ago

North West

My mate had an addiction to drinking brake fluid …. reckoned he could stop anytime.

Another mate always wanted to be run over by a steam train ….

When it happened he was chuffed to bits

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By *he National ThrustMan
2 days ago

Horsham, Sussex

A plane just crashed into my bedroom...

I think I left the landing light on.

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By *eorge1949Man
2 days ago

BroadwayWR12

Preserve wild life - pickle a traffic warden.

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By *dog29Man
2 days ago

blantyre

Where do bees go when they want to travel?

The Buzz stop!

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By *entleman_of_pleasure OP Man
2 days ago

Manchester

Breaking News:

Cannibals have raided a Midlands Convent.

Nuneaton.

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By *ony 2016Man
18 hours ago

lincs /Hudd & Derby cinema

My wife left me , she said I cared more about football than her , , I was quite upset, after all we had been married for 7 seasons

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By *rown.studMan
13 hours ago

Thornaby

Whats the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman

One is a super hero and other is a simple command

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