FabSwingers.com forum: Bondage kink, hot wax ect

By *arknat OP Couple
2 weeks ago

New forest

We would like to explore some bondage, hot wax rope play that sort of thing who's into it, and has the gear

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By *hechonkyduoCouple
2 weeks ago

The Heart of Hollownest, Dudleyish.

We have all the wax kit, it is one of our favorite kinks.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
2 weeks ago

Hampshire/Dorset

You should probably buy your own gear.

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By *vaRoseWoman
2 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

Love wax play, bondage etc

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By *Clem-Fandango-Woman
2 weeks ago

Yarm

Hey, experienced kinkster here. Feel free to message for advice.

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By *tlanshiaWoman
2 weeks ago

Chatham

Hot wax is great.

Bondage is fun but frustrating.

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By *ub with a ChubbMan
2 weeks ago

Southwest & Cork City

I love shibari.

Have lots of kinks I've been introduced to, but shibari is my favourite.

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By *r.ZeusMan
2 weeks ago

Basgiath War College

With the right partner kink can add a lot of fun in and out of the bedroom

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By *estructionDollyWoman
2 weeks ago

Manchester

I'm curious about wax, but hear lots of mixed things so I've not bothered as yet.

I enjoy bondage and other kink play though.

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By *rPunxMan
2 weeks ago

Hull

Anyone wanting to experiment with wax play, I have a little advice for you. Don't make the mistake most people do and start with regular candles these can burn badly if not used right. I suggest starting with specialist wax play candles (They melt at a lower safer temperature to start with)

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By *hechonkyduoCouple
2 weeks ago

The Heart of Hollownest, Dudleyish.

"Anyone wanting to experiment with wax play, I have a little advice for you. Don't make the mistake most people do and start with regular candles these can burn badly if not used right. I suggest starting with specialist wax play candles (They melt at a lower safer temperature to start with)"

We find soya wax to be the best

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By *rPunxMan
2 weeks ago

Hull

[Removed by poster at 20/06/25 18:36:44]

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By *rPunxMan
2 weeks ago

Hull

Also if your wanting to start experimenting with bondage there are several sex toy websites and companies that do "starter packs" this is a good place to start

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By *midnight-Woman
2 weeks ago

...

As above posters have said, get special candles - definitely not your nan's church candles, or you will cause severe burns!

Wax also makes an incredible mess... My suggestion is to have paper towel that you can bin it afterwards, or plastic sheeting

It's a lot of fun!

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By *rPunxMan
2 weeks ago

Hull

But remember and use the traffic light system for safety and consent. And always have something where a quick release is possible. Keys close by, hefty scissors etc

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By *hechonkyduoCouple
2 weeks ago

The Heart of Hollownest, Dudleyish.

Aftercare is also essential

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By *arknat OP Couple
2 weeks ago

New forest

I think we are more looking for guys into it and are set up for kink. It's not a place we have explored but have a keen interest. Convince us

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By *rPunxMan
2 weeks ago

Hull

Risk-Aware Consensual Kink

Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) is an ethical framework within BDSM and kink communities that emphasizes informed consent, risk awareness, and autonomy. Developed as an alternative to the Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC) model, RACK encourages practitioners to understand and accept the inherent risks involved in BDSM activities rather than assuming all practices are “safe.” By focusing on informed choice and personal responsibility, RACK allows for a more nuanced approach to kink.

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By *eacupsbearCouple
2 weeks ago

York

We love the responses here.

As experienced kinksters it's good to see people talking about the safety aspect of kink, and consent.

Our advice.. try going to a munch in your area, you may find like minded people to talk to.

If you go to events and there's a dungeon. Don't be afraid to ask questions ( obviously wait until the people you ask have finished their scene) this is appropriate for bondage. For wax? Definitely do not use normal candles or scented..

Also remember, if you want to do a wax scene, it's not a quick affair.

It can take ages to remove, and is very messy.. although very pretty too..

We accidently dropped our wax blanket out of the car and the wind blew the wax everywhere.

We are also quite happy to chat to you OP about your wants and wishes, as others are here.

But whatever you do.. plan.. research.. and talk talk talk.

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By *un couple 2Couple
2 weeks ago

Tynemouth.

[Removed by poster at 20/06/25 19:19:09]

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By *un couple 2Couple
2 weeks ago

Tynemouth.

can normal wax candles be used for this??

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By *rimal InstinctCouple
2 weeks ago

Carlisle

"can normal wax candles be used for this??"

No!

Get ones used for wax play, they can be found easily on Etsy or in most sex shops.

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJCouple
2 weeks ago

wonderland.

"We would like to explore some bondage, hot wax rope play that sort of thing who's into it, and has the gear

"
look for a local kink event and go meet experienced people... or buy your own kit and Google is your friend.

Wax - buy special candles..

Rope- learn about safety first

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By (user no longer on site)
2 weeks ago

I did hear of some female model sone years ago, agreeing to being waxed and did not realise how unsuitable ordinary candles are and spent time in A&E and had scars from the burns which would have needed plastic surgery.

A cautionary tale.

Trixie

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By *rimal InstinctCouple
2 weeks ago

Carlisle

Also I have found having a sheet underneath you is handy if you are doing it on a bed or carpet. Plus having a blunt wooden edged implement to help take the wax off when all is done and dusted is helpful too. otherwise having it picked off can be quite satisfying too.

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By *un couple 2Couple
2 weeks ago

Tynemouth.

Thank You, i did once try normal candles and it did feel little extreme. i will look on etsy etc.

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By *un couple 2Couple
2 weeks ago

Tynemouth.

Thank You, we will take a look on etsy etc.

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By *inkyropecoupleCouple
2 weeks ago

carluke

We have a healthy selection of kink gear and love shibari. Wax play for us was a little hit and miss - finding the right candles was a problem. Even the ones we bought from reputable kink establishments seems to be a little on the hot side

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By *arknat OP Couple
2 weeks ago

New forest

"We have a healthy selection of kink gear and love shibari. Wax play for us was a little hit and miss - finding the right candles was a problem. Even the ones we bought from reputable kink establishments seems to be a little on the hot side"

Your pics and videos are cool!

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By *inkyropecoupleCouple
2 weeks ago

carluke

Your pics and videos are cool!

Thank you 🙏🏼

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By *xperimenting0775Man
2 weeks ago

Huddersfield

Looking to explore waxplay and bdsm world more anywhere near Huddersfield anybody can recommend

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By *ensualMan
2 weeks ago

Sutton

In regard to wax and protective sheets, plastic is disposable but gets hot to lie on. Wax is hard to get off cloth. Personally I never found removing wax chore as you can extend the scene to include the removal with particularly nasty mind games.

I am hugely into Japanese style rope and nerdy and not at al into pretty rope.

I have posted this before on Fab taken, from someone more knowledgeable than me.

""Which brings me to my second point. For those of us who practice shibari this way, it is not about the rope, it is not about the ties, it is not about the photography, or instagram likes. It is about the erotic connection we feel with our partners and that they feel with us.

We use rope as a tool, as a means, as a way to bring our erotic fantasies and desires to life. It is about a human, erotic connection between people. How one does a particular tie and what it looks like is secondary to what the rope is doing in relation to the fantasy. We learn to tie to do something, to create an effect, to build a scene, to create an experience for our partner. The tie is never the end or the goal. It is always a means to something else, something deeper, something physical or psychological."

I have one technical clarification EMT shears or safety rope hooks are used where I do rope, scissors are not used.

I would suggest a number of options.

Southampton, Portsmouth and Bournemouth each have peer rope events. This is a vanilla setting where people teach basic Japanese style rope and people share knowledge or tie. It's non sexual and not threatening. They normally have practice rope so you don't have to buy your own.

If you are after sexual rope not necessarily Japanese style I would recommend Chanta Rose's book "Bondage for Sex".

If you find all this rope malarkey too much, velcro bondage cuffs are your friend.

I have a couple of other alternatives suggestions on other topics.

It is essential that aftercare is discussed, but not everyone wants or needs it, and not everyone can give it. But all participants should be clear what will happen in regard to aftercare. If you can't agree then it's best not to play.

SSC, and RACK as consent models have their issues. I prefer Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink or even FRIES. But without getting too technical, whichever model you use, each person is responsible for their own safety as well as the safety of the other. It is not Top down to bottom process but one that flows both ways. Both parties must be informed and both must gather information of what will or may or could happen.There has to be full and clear agreement, understanding and consent

My usual response to the traffic system is "Sunstone" (if you know, you know).

My basic position on safe words is they are an additional helpful layer but not silver bullet. It is the Top's duty to take care of the bottom and the Top should be visually and verbally discreetly checking in on the bottom. A Top should be so expert in the use of their implements, their focus should be on the bottom's reactions. They can't hide behind saying the bottom did not safe word. Unless you are doing a particular kind of scene or playing very heavy where subspace may happen there is no reason why the bottom can't just say stop. However, it's hold be remembered thst if the bottom is in subspace they may be incapable of using a safe word. From a bottom's perspective you need to be as satisfied as possible that the Top will respect your safe word.

But at the end of day people are free to choose whatever system works for them.

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By *evonFbsCouple
2 weeks ago

Devon

Take a day trip to Devon. Tonight is the night for club utopias summer Kink night. Come and watch and learn in a safe and inclusive space ....

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By *arknat OP Couple
2 weeks ago

New forest

[Removed by poster at 21/06/25 07:49:54]

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By *arknat OP Couple
2 weeks ago

New forest

Thank you _ensual

very informative

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
2 weeks ago

North West

"I think we are more looking for guys into it and are set up for kink. It's not a place we have explored but have a keen interest. Convince us

Even if a person/couple appeared on this thread with the set up of your kinky dreams, it is still on you to be aware of the risks and check that they know what they’re doing. Anyone who wants to tie you up without having shears on hand and a proper discussion on any potential mobility or circulation issues should be swerved. Do they know non-collapsible ties? Do they have a safe word or item system in place? These things are as much on the bottom being informed as the top.

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By *emorefridaCouple
2 weeks ago

La la land

"I think we are more looking for guys into it and are set up for kink. It's not a place we have explored but have a keen interest. Convince us

100% this ^ you always need to do your own research. As a sub I am as informed as any top, sometimes I'll be more knowledgeable than a top in certain scenarios even.

Kind of the same as engaging with anyone on this site for sex. You look after your own sexual health, because people lie, have unknown illness etc etc. Kink is no different, I have permanent disfigurement (although minor) from kink play. Would never have occurred to me that it could happen even with researching. But there are always risks and you try and mitigate as much as you can against them.

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By *ollyPocket75Woman
2 weeks ago

Aberdeen

I have the wax and ropes. I can't do shibari though unfortunately. Hot wax play i enjoy

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By *ensualMan
2 weeks ago

Sutton

"I think we are more looking for guys into it and are set up for kink. It's not a place we have explored but have a keen interest. Convince us

For beginners, (particularly bottoms) please could you them by explaining what you mean by a proper discussion on mobility and circulation issues.

For beginners non-collapsible ties are those ties that will not come undone or cinch down i.e tighten. Normally used when tying a cuff around a limb.

The standard Japanese knot style has the two wraps around the wrist. The fun is how you tie it off. The Japanese tend to use a reef knot. But because it is not taught well and its limits are not taught, some people avoid it because it is prone to coming undone, it is not forgiving.

One of the alleged gold standard cuffs is what was claimed to be invented by Topologist called the Somerville Bowline. However knots are rarely invented but refound it is now thought as a version of the Carrick Bend. It is popular in the U.S. The second tie is the Burlinton Bowline. Both of these are bomb proof and both start with the two wraps. They are starting to be the sole cuff taught by most peer ropes in the South (but I am happy to be disagreed with on that point).

A mention of the larkshead cuff used in America, and you will see it is the choice of cuff in U.S porn. It's a choice, it's safe but it has practical issues.

There are other cuff ties. I also get annoyed when people say single columns are simple. But I won't nerd out here.

Shears are like insurance but cheaper, better to have them and not need them, than to not have them and need them.

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple
2 weeks ago

Ryde

We have so much bondage stuff that we've had to get an extension for our toy-box!

We have cleats in the front-room ceiling for use when hanging chains, along with a bondage-sling.

The wife was an absolute novice when we started exploring, but she's more than happy to be trussed up like a turkey at Christmas, so it's all about how you ease someone into the scene.

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By *ambilondonMan
2 weeks ago

London

"We would like to explore some bondage, hot wax rope play that sort of thing who's into it, and has the gear

Love exploring kinks and bdsm... Kit is easily obtained on line...

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple
2 weeks ago

Ryde

Wax play should be approached with caution.

Not just for the obvious reason that the wrong kind of wax will burn, but the low-temperature variety inevitably finds its way onto carpets and is a SOD to get out!

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