FabSwingers.com forum: Are we expecting to much

By *rx1 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Torridge area of Devon

We had been chatting to a Couple for a few weeks, and arranged a meet at a neutral location (Pub half-way).

As per our Profile, I had a summery dress (just above the knee length), heels and Stockings on.

My Hubby was wearing a nice shirt, chinos and leather shoes.

They turned up, the lady was in flip flops, leggings and a vest top. The Guy was in a Tee shirt, shorts and trainers.

Lets just say after a drink, we made our excuses and left (all very polite).

They said they had read our profile, but they don't dress up at all.

Are we just being unreasonable to expect others, to be well presented when meeting.

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By *ere4It3000Couple
5 weeks ago

Belgium

I don’t think so, you’re allowed to have certain standards. Plus you guys even make clear in your profile tex what you’re looking for or are expecting. So no, carry on and find yourselves the perfect match OP. 😊

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By *ndymac888Man
5 weeks ago

Dumbarton

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable if it was pre discussed.

I also get how someone taking the meet to casually can be a little of putting, I hate seeing people in a pub dressed as if they are having a lazy Sunday at home.

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By *r Bond.Man
5 weeks ago

Moving Around the Midlands

You aren’t being unreasonable. We all like to think someone has made an effort when meeting for the first time.

Although I do say to people who I’m meeting that they should wear something they are comfortable in.

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By *obilebottomMan
5 weeks ago

All over

Not at all if that is your preference. People do need to think how compatible may be with others. Ok not everyone judges a book by it's cover but some thought should be given to whether one would be a good match as these things matter to a lot of people.

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By *rHotNottsMan
5 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I would pre discuss not rely on profile text for this if so important.

Also no facial hair, but can’t shave - I’m confused. You want a waxed face

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

Maybe they were doing a Wayne and waynetta cosplay?

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By *vaRoseWoman
5 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

No, your expectations are clear on your profile…. They chose not to meet them (as is their prerogative). I’d be frustrated too in your shoes.

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By *ansoffateMan
5 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

You are free to have your own standards and expectations. Sometimes they will clash with others though.

If someone judged me on my attire I would probably laugh and have. I recall a couple and the guy absolutely killed us off in a club once. He started talking about how you can judge people's personality by their shoes. At first it was amusing, but then stuff he started coming out with... let's just say the laughter dried up and we made our excuses and left.

I remember my partner saying if he'd kept his mouth shut, I would be totally sucking his cock right now. 🤣

I guess we all have our standards in our own ways.

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By *rx1 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Torridge area of Devon

"I don’t think so, you’re allowed to have certain standards. Plus you guys even make clear in your profile tex what you’re looking for or are expecting. So no, carry on and find yourselves the perfect match OP. 😊"

Thank you, you are most kind

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By *igR93Man
5 weeks ago

Sarcasm City

No, it’s always nice for effort to be made and I’d echo with others that if you have certain standards and people don’t meet them you’re well within your rights to leave

I’d be annoyed aswell if I made the effort to look presentable and someone turned up looking scruffy

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

If there's something that's really important to me i discuss with potentials beforehand. Even when my profile was really clear what I wanted. It avoids unnecessary disappointment.

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By *ad NannaWoman
5 weeks ago

East London

That's why it's important to have a social, for people who are specific about certain things.

Even then, people lie and hope we'll change our minds.

Were they nice people though?

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By *ellinever70Woman
5 weeks ago

Ayrshire

If you're just meeting for a casual drink, then perhaps your expectations are a bit much.

If it's vital to you that someone is dressed a particular way, you should probably make that crystal clear when you're chatting

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By *emorefridaCouple
5 weeks ago

La la land

I guess it depends on your conversations prior to meeting.

I've met people for a social in my gym gear, as was meeting for a coffee before I went. I've also dressed up. But this has always been communicated beforehand. Plus did their profile have pictures in clothes as leggings and a vest top? Then if so then it's kind of what I'd expect them to wear. There are too many variables to make an informed decision if your expectations were correct or not.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
5 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I think if you're that fussed about it it's worth mentioning before a social meet rather than assuming they've read or remembered your profile.

I never show up underdressed. But I'm not that fussed if other people are comfy casuals as long as they're clean and have made at least some effort 💜

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By *sStephenPickleMan
5 weeks ago

Ends

Trainers?????!!!!!

Fucking hell. The disrespect.

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By *ad NannaWoman
5 weeks ago

East London

I make it clear that I don't wear dresses or heels. Especially short dresses and high heels.

On a social in a pub I'll be wearing smart jeans and a nice top with comfy shoes.

I look awful naked too, so I tell them that as well.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
5 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"If you're just meeting for a casual drink, then perhaps your expectations are a bit much.

If it's vital to you that someone is dressed a particular way, you should probably make that crystal clear when you're chatting "

Totally agree with this. If you had been chatting for a few weeks to the other couple OP wouldn’t you have mentioned it? I think if my requirements for dress of others were that specific I would definitely discuss it prior to arranging meeting. They’re not though just to be clear.

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By *luebell888Woman
5 weeks ago

Glasgowish

Personally I love a guy in shorts ant t shirt and wouldn't meet people who expected me to wear something in particular for a social. I am clean, smart and fun and own some lovely clothes but I prefer to be comfortable when meeting new people for a social. I take people as I find them and certainly wouldn't judge anyone by their clothing. It's a fab social, not the Oscars.

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By *alldarkandharmlessMan
5 weeks ago

Ross on Wye

The standard of dress in the UK now is dreadful. In the workplace as well and very unprofessional in my opinion.

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By *inkycouplev2Couple
5 weeks ago

Morpeth

"We had been chatting to a Couple for a few weeks, and arranged a meet at a neutral location (Pub half-way).

As per our Profile, I had a summery dress (just above the knee length), heels and Stockings on.

My Hubby was wearing a nice shirt, chinos and leather shoes.

They turned up, the lady was in flip flops, leggings and a vest top. The Guy was in a Tee shirt, shorts and trainers.

Lets just say after a drink, we made our excuses and left (all very polite).

They said they had read our profile, but they don't dress up at all.

Are we just being unreasonable to expect others, to be well presented when meeting.

"
it's not about your expectations or what your profile says, its about making an effort and having standards, which they clearly had none

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By *ad NannaWoman
5 weeks ago

East London

"The standard of dress in the UK now is dreadful. In the workplace as well and very unprofessional in my opinion.

Isn't that something head office or senior management deals with?

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By *etcouple22Couple
5 weeks ago

Salisbury

We tend to be relaxed, but for you we would dress. You have said as much in the profile and we respect boundaries, we would consider a dress code a boundary.

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

"We had been chatting to a Couple for a few weeks, and arranged a meet at a neutral location (Pub half-way).

As per our Profile, I had a summery dress (just above the knee length), heels and Stockings on.

My Hubby was wearing a nice shirt, chinos and leather shoes.

They turned up, the lady was in flip flops, leggings and a vest top. The Guy was in a Tee shirt, shorts and trainers.

Lets just say after a drink, we made our excuses and left (all very polite).

They said they had read our profile, but they don't dress up at all.

Are we just being unreasonable to expect others, to be well presented when meeting.

it's not about your expectations or what your profile says, its about making an effort and having standards, which they clearly had none"

I disagree. It's about communication.

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

They should have told you that they don't dress up and saved you a journey. I dress up but wear flat boots not heels and will inform men wanting heels of this.

I feel your pain regarding the flip flops, a man turned up for a date in flip flops once and I found it quite disrespectful..

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By *rx1 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Torridge area of Devon

Having read all the comments, some agreeing, some not.

We did have prior communication, but not specifically about what everyone was going to wear.

They said they had read our profile in full, and were happy that we were all looking for the same things.

It wasn't just set up as a social, it was mentioned if all agreed, it could go further on the night.

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By *aizyWoman
5 weeks ago

west midlands

"Having read all the comments, some agreeing, some not.

We did have prior communication, but not specifically about what everyone was going to wear.

They said they had read our profile in full, and were happy that we were all looking for the same things.

It wasn't just set up as a social, it was mentioned if all agreed, it could go further on the night"

If it is that important to you what others are wearing I would make sure I discussed it with others before meeting, make it clear how you would like them to dress.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
5 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

I don't think your expectations are too high and especially not from your photographs. Those are standards which I think anyone could reach so you are right to be puzzled that they couldn't achieve at least that.

I do think you have assumed they would dress for the occassion though. So maybe you could ask outright next time so it's made really clear.

If it was meant to be a social then no harm done ..... if it was a meet for sex then I wouldn't have let their clothes ( which sound fine for a daytime meet ) get in the way.

They might have been great at sex and you seem to have hit it off as you chatted for a few weeks.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
5 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

Maybe they just wanted to have a social only to see what you were both like in person. So maybe thought dressing up too much was going to be an indication for you to take it further on the day.

I would never turn up in flip flops and I’d be a bit put out if I didn’t feel any effort at all was made by someone we were meeting.

It is disappointing when you go with high hopes - we try and make it so we aren’t going completely out of our way now, to avoid that dismay if they aren’t your type or you theirs.

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