FabSwingers.com forum: The Power of Words

By *atnip make me purr OP Woman
3 days ago

Reading

How conscious are you of the effect that your words can have on someone whether on the internet or in real life? Words have the power to hurt deeply. Do you think before you hit send that there is a person at the end of that DM?

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
3 days ago

Manchester(ish).

Yes, I try and be mindful of what I say to anyone.

I'd prefer to say nothing rather than attack someone over some badly written trivia.

Flip side. I can be lyrical and thoughtful with my words if it matters.

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By *atnip make me purr OP Woman
3 days ago

Reading

"Yes, I try and be mindful of what I say to anyone.

I'd prefer to say nothing rather than attack someone over some badly written trivia.

Flip side. I can be lyrical and thoughtful with my words if it matters. "

Yes I love that flip side. Thank you.

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By *exyScientistsCouple
3 days ago

Castlebar

Lots of people don't think twice about saying things that hurt people. I'd be more cautious about what I'd say but when someone intentionaly hurts you with their words it can be hard to bite your tongue.

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By *h3rry Bomb80Man
3 days ago

the moon

Fuck em 🤷‍♂️

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By *lderflower_AppleWoman
3 days ago

Somewhere in Hampshire

Yes, I'm very aware that I don't always articulate things well and my language can sometimes be quite clumsy.

What I say is often not quite what's in my head. So I do take time to think before speaking, and I listen to myself as I speak - quickly correcting the language I've used if it wasn't quite what was in my head.

And I (almost) always proof read a couple of times if I'm sending a message of more than a few words. The trouble with that of course is that we read written words the way we intended them, rather than how they might be received.

So yes, I try to be mindful.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
3 days ago

ilkley

I try to be very careful in the things I say, both online and in the real world.

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By *ar9019Man
3 days ago

Warsop

If anything most of the time I am overly aware of it, it really affect me especially in person and I can seem quite awkward as I work out what the hell im meant to be saying in that moment to not upset the other person…but then sometimes its like a superpower as it means i can be quite fluid in different environments and tend to get on with everyone…its safe to say i have the tism 😂

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By *inchesterGuyMan
3 days ago

Bexleyheath

i think the hard part to ensure is included in your words is the inflection and meaning behind it when its just text, especially when you dont know the person. They dont know you or who you really are so could take an inoffensive message in a variety of ways. Emojis help but not a lot.

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By *atnip make me purr OP Woman
3 days ago

Reading

"If anything most of the time I am overly aware of it, it really affect me especially in person and I can seem quite awkward as I work out what the hell im meant to be saying in that moment to not upset the other person…but then sometimes its like a superpower as it means i can be quite fluid in different environments and tend to get on with everyone…its safe to say i have the tism 😂"

My daughter is too and she also overthinks everything but she is kind by nature.

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By *atnip make me purr OP Woman
3 days ago

Reading

"Lots of people don't think twice about saying things that hurt people. I'd be more cautious about what I'd say but when someone intentionaly hurts you with their words it can be hard to bite your tongue."

I just don't get how people can be intentionally cruel.

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By *atnip make me purr OP Woman
3 days ago

Reading

"Fuck em 🤷‍♂️"

Yes but some can't shake things off so easily.

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By *atnip make me purr OP Woman
3 days ago

Reading

"I try to be very careful in the things I say, both online and in the real world. "

💓

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By *atnip make me purr OP Woman
3 days ago

Reading

"i think the hard part to ensure is included in your words is the inflection and meaning behind it when its just text, especially when you dont know the person. They dont know you or who you really are so could take an inoffensive message in a variety of ways. Emojis help but not a lot. "

I get this we all fuck up sometimes.

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By *ar9019Man
3 days ago

Warsop

My daughter is too and she also overthinks everything but she is kind by nature. "

I think Autism gets a a really bad rep tbh most people with autism are super kind and thoughtful, when I struggle is when I get overwhelmed and then I kind of shut down but I have learnt to manage it as I have gotten older and now I step away from situations if I start to feel like that

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By *eardedguy83Man
3 days ago

Kidderminster

I am acutely aware of what I say in messages. It’s easy to misconstrue meaning. Similarly, receiving hurtful messages can knock your confidence. I had a lady message me telling me that my hairy chest was disgusting and I looked like a monkey. I tried to politely reply but was blocked.

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By *NormalMan01Man
3 days ago

Harrogate

On the Internet and in real life tbf, if it gets to the point of anger, I just walk away. What’s the point.

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By *ikerabbits!Couple
3 days ago

Surrey

I would never be consciously rude to someone. I do however react to rudeness, primarily via sarcasm. Wise never to overthink text / email messages. Analysing every dot and comma of a message in an attempt to interpret what someone ‘means’ can drive you nuts.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
3 days ago

Crumpet Castle

I am very aware of the power of words.

I take full responsibility for what I say

I don't take responsibility for how you feel about it.

Your feelings are yours.

Would I ever speak with the intention of hurting another - NO.

Phrases like , 'He really hurt me when he said that.' are used a lot on here and elsewhere.

Better to say ,'I was really hurt by what he said.' and then take a look at yourself and why it hurt.

No one can guess what ALL the people in the forum are going to think.

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By *ealitybitesMan
3 days ago

Belfast

I'm very aware of their power.

I've never sent a strongly worded or nasty message to anyone in all my time here and I don't deliberately set out to offend or insult anyone on the forums.

I have pulled people up on here for their use of words and choice of language and every now and again some people have felt that my words carried enough power to throw them back at me.

Some people don't need a lot of words to give the impression that they are sarky or snidey. Sometimes it only takes a single word.

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By *icentiousCouple
3 days ago

Up on them there hills

Very aware of how words can affect others, both positively and negatively , peoples presuppositions activity make me cringe at times.

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By *electableicecreamMan
3 days ago

The West

I'm a pretty blunt instrument and have definitely hurt feelings by my total lack of subtlety.

I've become a lot more conscious of it in the last five years and have tempered myself somewhat.

I have to say I am completely unafraid to trample anyone in any organisation that is obstructing, overcharging or impeding me. Particularly in the health care system and for my children. Anyone with a disabled child will empathize I'm sure.

As for the internet. If someone is being an asshole I do enjoy responding in kind and would be completely unapologetic. Mostly that's a form of entertainment.

So I would say yes I'm very aware of the power of words and would be very confident in my ability to use them when needed.

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By *opedomMan
3 days ago

Hayle

Words are powerful things, both in a good way and bad.

They can be hurtful if used poorly, but they can also be sensual and erotic. The choice of which to use shouldn't be hard but still some make the wrong choice.

Strong words softly spoken mean more than hurty words and a big boy voice everytime.

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By *gent CoulsonMan
3 days ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I was always taught, engage brain before opening mouth

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By *olinOfBathMan
3 days ago

Corsham

Got to love my HFA...

Meet new folks on Saturday, chat for hours, part as friends and potentially more. Thursday, one supposedly amusing message has them permanently offended beyond repair.

Skibidi.

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By *reachersdaughterWoman
3 days ago

Someplace

I wouldn't be nasty to someone for no apparent reason. If I am provoked, I can be mean. I don't feel bad for saying things someone deserves to hear. Some people honestly need a reality check.

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By *ugmesqueezemeMan
3 days ago

woburn sands

I tend to think about what I'm saying on both written form and in person.

Written form is so difficult to interpret tone and sometimes context. Intend to put a call on with someone and discuss things before I send.

That way I can coach and mentor the person or team so that they know what they need to do.

In a 1-1 situation conversation flows easily and I'm generally never in a position where I offend or upset people.

On here if I am really unsure as to how to get a message or point of view out there I tend to sit back and observe for a while.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
3 days ago

Paradise, Herts

Yes I’m very conscious of it. I’d hate to think i’d someone’s feelings.

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By *parkle1974Woman
3 days ago

Leeds

The thing is, the written word however innocently put will still be misconstrued by some...I've seen it happen time and time again, especially on here.

The spoken word usually works best as you can see facial expressions, hear the tone etc.

I speak my mind if needed and if it butthurts someone, that's their problem, not mine.....and they probably deserved it.

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By *sStephenPickleMan
3 days ago

Ends

Yes I do. Every time.

But I know people on here who pretend to care about others but won’t hear how their words might have hurt others.

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By *mf123Man
3 days ago

with one foot out the door

I lack filters i generally dont try offend folks but i take no accountability for there reaction this is my life to live that much i have had to learn if i constantly bit my tonge then thats like self harm that shit does hurt hate biting my tonge

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By *parkle1974Woman
3 days ago

Leeds

"I lack filters i generally dont try offend folks but i take no accountability for there reaction this is my life to live that much i have had to learn if i constantly bit my tonge then thats like self harm that shit does hurt hate biting my tonge "

You definitely don't have filters 🤣🤣

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By *mf123Man
3 days ago

with one foot out the door

You definitely don't have filters 🤣🤣"
true story nice piss flaps on you

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By *carlettsWoman
3 days ago

Harpenden

Personally I think emails, texts etc can always be misconstrued just because of grammer, different accents ways of saying things. Not always easy getting across what is in your head or sounds funnier than you think

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By *carlettsWoman
3 days ago

Harpenden

"Personally I think emails, texts etc can always be misconstrued just because of grammer, different accents ways of saying things. Not always easy getting across what is in your head or sounds funnier than you think

That said people have also said things that for me have hit home just by a few words ..words can be powerful for sure sometimes good sometimes bad

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By *2000ManMan
3 days ago

Worthing

I am very careful with written comms. Sometimes what you write can be read back with a totally different meaning. For example "I love that picture" can be read back as meaning "oh they are being sarcastic and don't really like it".

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By *mileyculturebelfastMan
3 days ago

belfast

Unfortunately I don't think. Don't really care. Worst thing is I know it's wrong but can't help myself.

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By *anchesterTaurusMan
3 days ago

Prestwich

Too conscious, I relive everything I've said, each night.

I cringe a lot!

Think this is why my sexy talk is like a verbal contraception

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
3 days ago

Central

I'm reasonably mindful

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By *exyScientistsCouple
3 days ago

Castlebar

I tend to overthink things I've posted or said. It someone takes it the wrong way I often worry that I've hurt or offended someone but people interpret things the way they want and you can't really control that. Deliberately hurtful is different from misinterpretation.

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By *emorefridaCouple
3 days ago

La la land

I try my best not to negatively impact other people. Yesterday there was a thread of female sounding. Made me go down a rabbit hole, cut a long story short. Medical journals were saying one the biggest dangers of sounding was the social shame people feel if they partake and avoiding seeking medical help because of it. Which really emphasised to me at least not be negative about others kink. Can't always be positive I guess, but instead of being negative guide people to reputable sources is better I guess.

Sorry bit of a mind dump, but essentially I try not to cause others to feel negatively about themselves, though I know I'm not always successful

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By *ar9019Man
3 days ago

Warsop

"I tend to overthink things I've posted or said. It someone takes it the wrong way I often worry that I've hurt or offended someone but people interpret things the way they want and you can't really control that. Deliberately hurtful is different from misinterpretation. "

100%

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