FabSwingers.com forum: Do you feel invisible

By *ife Ninja OP Man
9 weeks ago

Dunfermline

I sometimes ponder when I can't sleep, and one of my thoughts is along the lines of our 'being'.

We walk around, do stuff, and does it actually matter? If I fell off my mortal coil tomorrow, would anyone care? Would I be missed? Life would just go on.

Irrationally, this worries me. I'd prefer not to be forgotten, or just be another invisible person.

Do you have an irrational need to feel noticed? 🤓

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
9 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

It's not irrational. It's the very human need of knowing you 'belong'

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By *IXEN200Woman
9 weeks ago

newcastle upon tyne

I feel this all the time, it's part of my life lately

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
9 weeks ago

In fair Verona.

I know there’s a few people I matter to, but it’s a small number. Does that mean I feel invisible elsewhere, yes I do, there’s little to reassure me that I’m remembered by people.

Maybe others are exactly the same though.

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By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

"Do you have an irrational need to feel noticed? 🤓"

I've thought about it a lot and it doesn't bother me one bit.

I am an introvert though.

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By *layfullsamMan
9 weeks ago

Solihull

Not to late to do something remarkable to get yourself remembered for eternity

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By *ealitybitesMan
9 weeks ago

Belfast

I've said before on here that from the ages of 12 to 50 I assumed I was invisible to most people because I didn't have the opportunities or the experience that they all did.

It was never really an issue until I was ill around the time I turned 40 and for the next decade it became something I wanted to change but had no idea how.

When I look back now I can see the different stages as clearly as if I was watching "It's a wonderful life" and even though I've felt visible for about 10 years now, I know that I made a difference long before then and just couldn't see it.

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By *ife Ninja OP Man
9 weeks ago

Dunfermline

"I know there’s a few people I matter to, but it’s a small number. Does that mean I feel invisible elsewhere, yes I do, there’s little to reassure me that I’m remembered by people.

Maybe others are exactly the same though. "

I have my children, but in the wider sense, it would, or must be nice to feel at the centre of something.

I told you it was irrational 🤓

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By *sStephenPickleMan
9 weeks ago

Ends

Yeah. But in therapy I learned that my need to be liked and cared for came from my social anxiety which came from childhood. So now I can often talk myself out of these thoughts.

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By *ife Ninja OP Man
9 weeks ago

Dunfermline

"Yeah. But in therapy I learned that my need to be liked and cared for came from my social anxiety which came from childhood. So now I can often talk myself out of these thoughts. "

Maybe I'm at the stage where I think 'it's all gone to shit', look backwards and think, 'what have I done that'll be remembered for?'🤓

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By *gent CoulsonMan
9 weeks ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I went through a phase after the winter lockdown and a breakdown of querying my mortality, but, one day, when I was at my lowest, some friends knocked on my door with several bags of shopping, and to ask how I was.

The fact that people cared enough to see how I was, made me realise just how much I had impacted on the community.

It made me realise that I was not alone, and that people actually cared.

It was the wake up call I needed.

I continue to give back to the community as a result, I guess, if I passed tomorrow, I would be remembered

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
9 weeks ago

In fair Verona.

"I know there’s a few people I matter to, but it’s a small number. Does that mean I feel invisible elsewhere, yes I do, there’s little to reassure me that I’m remembered by people.

Maybe others are exactly the same though.

I have my children, but in the wider sense, it would, or must be nice to feel at the centre of something.

I told you it was irrational 🤓"

Andy Warhol’s ‘15 mins fame’ might be round the corner for you, just be patient. 😉

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By *hortieWoman
9 weeks ago

Northampton

You are an ant. Go do your anty stuff.

😘

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By *hortieWoman
9 weeks ago

Northampton

"You are an ant. Go do your anty stuff.

😘"

I forgot to add, I am an ant too.

(Unless it's the butt fucking thread, in which case I'm the Boss).

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By *a LunaWoman
9 weeks ago

o o OO o o

I like being NOT noticed. And that happens quite easily for a woman as she matures.

The only thing I worry about with regards to dying, is who will look after my youngest, as I doubt he will ever be able to live alone independently. That keeps me up at night sometimes.

But I try not to dwell on it, that way sadness lies!

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By *evenishMan
9 weeks ago

Coningsby

Someone once said that as you grow older you become invisible. Now that I'm older I understand what was meant. I'm not invisible to those closest to me, friends and relations, but a vast majority of people are now younger than me and to them I'm invisible. I'm not exactly relevant in their younger lives. Sometimes, if I'm feeling retrospective, it bothers me but I'm confident enough to not let it bother me unduly. I've done some amazing things and known some extraordinary people.

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By *ookie46Woman
9 weeks ago

Deepest darkest Peru

I want the people who matter to me to notice me and that’s been proven of late

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
9 weeks ago

East Sussex

I heard Jimmy Carr say that you die twice. Once when you physically die and again the last time someone says your name.

I think we all want our presence to be acknowledged

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
9 weeks ago

East Sussex

Also you're in a watershed decade. Your 50s are often a time for reflection and buying sports cars or motorbikes 😉.

Unless we are famous or infamous we are invisible to the world but we're not invisible to the people close to us.

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By *ohnnyjo82Man
9 weeks ago

gorleston

The older you get the more I think whats this all about?

Work, home, pay bills, work, home, etc stuck in a system with nothing to look forward to apart from being shafted by the government and system!

It's just seems they want you to work till the day you die now and leave you with crumbs to live on....

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By *parkle1974Woman
9 weeks ago

Leeds

I'd rather blend into the background x

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By *idssissyTV/TS
9 weeks ago

Nr cricket ground birm

If something happened to me tomorrow I am sure it would take a while before anyone noticed.

Not saying don't have people who care, they just have lives unlike me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

"I heard Jimmy Carr say that you die twice. Once when you physically die and again the last time someone says your name."

I love Jimmy. He's an interesting guy.

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By *ife Ninja OP Man
9 weeks ago

Dunfermline

"Also you're in a watershed decade. Your 50s are often a time for reflection and buying sports cars or motorbikes 😉.

Unless we are famous or infamous we are invisible to the world but we're not invisible to the people close to us. "

No bikes or fast cars will be purchased. A lady might be nice though 🤭🤓

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By *ittlebirdWoman
9 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

Most days OP yes.

I have great friends though. Who tell me to give my head a wobble from time to time 😘

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By *ife Ninja OP Man
9 weeks ago

Dunfermline

"Most days OP yes.

I have great friends though. Who tell me to give my head a wobble from time to time 😘"

You're a fellow Yorkie. We get over fears pretty swiftly 🤓

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By *ittlebirdWoman
9 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"Most days OP yes.

I have great friends though. Who tell me to give my head a wobble from time to time 😘

You're a fellow Yorkie. We get over fears pretty swiftly 🤓"

I’m a Lincolnshire lass actually. But close enough gorgeous 😘😘

Giving zero fucks helps x

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By *r PantyMan
9 weeks ago

Morpeth

You'd most likely be missed for a day or so after all all the false people have declared what an ok geezer you were, how you lit up a room when you walked into it, how you were a gentle giant, and all that bullshit, then once the funeral had taken place and all the false people had said their shit to make themselves feel better - you'd be ancient history. Sad but true.

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By *ife Ninja OP Man
9 weeks ago

Dunfermline

"You'd most likely be missed for a day or so after all all the false people have declared what an ok geezer you were, how you lit up a room when you walked into it, how you were a gentle giant, and all that bullshit, then once the funeral had taken place and all the false people had said their shit to make themselves feel better - you'd be ancient history. Sad but true."

Well.....that's cheered me up, no end 😬

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By *ittlebirdWoman
9 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

I’m not having a funeral with anyone there. Problem solved 😘

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By *sWyldWoman
9 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I can understand that. I have my children and a very small circle of friend's. They all have their own lives to live too.

I think the longer I've spent single the more heightened that feeling becomes.

Equally though part of me doesn't want to stand out.

I refuse to give it headspace when it creeps in and I'm very resilient. However I long for a day when I don't need to be .

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By *ife Ninja OP Man
9 weeks ago

Dunfermline

"I can understand that. I have my children and a very small circle of friend's. They all have their own lives to live too.

I think the longer I've spent single the more heightened that feeling becomes.

Equally though part of me doesn't want to stand out.

I refuse to give it headspace when it creeps in and I'm very resilient. However I long for a day when I don't need to be ."

I think being single (ten years) doesn't help 🤓

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By *ittlebirdWoman
9 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"I can understand that. I have my children and a very small circle of friend's. They all have their own lives to live too.

I think the longer I've spent single the more heightened that feeling becomes.

Equally though part of me doesn't want to stand out.

I refuse to give it headspace when it creeps in and I'm very resilient. However I long for a day when I don't need to be .

I think being single (ten years) doesn't help 🤓"

You guys are so lucky having kids ♥️

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By *ife Ninja OP Man
9 weeks ago

Dunfermline

"I can understand that. I have my children and a very small circle of friend's. They all have their own lives to live too.

I think the longer I've spent single the more heightened that feeling becomes.

Equally though part of me doesn't want to stand out.

I refuse to give it headspace when it creeps in and I'm very resilient. However I long for a day when I don't need to be .

I think being single (ten years) doesn't help 🤓

You guys are so lucky having kids ♥️"

They're growing up and won't need me much longer 🤓

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By *ittlebirdWoman
9 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"I can understand that. I have my children and a very small circle of friend's. They all have their own lives to live too.

I think the longer I've spent single the more heightened that feeling becomes.

Equally though part of me doesn't want to stand out.

I refuse to give it headspace when it creeps in and I'm very resilient. However I long for a day when I don't need to be .

I think being single (ten years) doesn't help 🤓

You guys are so lucky having kids ♥️

They're growing up and won't need me much longer 🤓"

They’ll always need you darling x

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
9 weeks ago

Reading

What would you like to be remembered for, OP?

I had a straight talking no bullshit friend once who listened when I was all, wahhhh I'm insignificant and nobody will remember me if I die. And he was all, yeah, that's probably true. Then he asked me what I'd like to be remembered for. And whatever my answer was to work on that. If I want my family to remember me as kind and warm and loving or if my goal was to be successful at work focus on that. Whatever you want. There's always time to make your life more meaningful. You just have to choose what meaning to give it.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
9 weeks ago

Chichester

"I sometimes ponder when I can't sleep, and one of my thoughts is along the lines of our 'being'.

We walk around, do stuff, and does it actually matter? If I fell off my mortal coil tomorrow, would anyone care? Would I be missed? Life would just go on.

Irrationally, this worries me. I'd prefer not to be forgotten, or just be another invisible person.

Do you have an irrational need to feel noticed? 🤓"

Everyone is forgotten in long enough time through history

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
9 weeks ago

Reading

I've got kids so i would be missed.

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By *pirited obeliskMan
9 weeks ago

Isle of Wight

To a degree, when everyone has their rightful moment of falling off the mortal coil, shall be forgotten. Life goes on and humans go on doing their little life adventures and journeys. Nothing personal, it's just the way it is.

That's why we must make great use of the life we have.

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