FabSwingers.com forum: Has anyone ever met...

By (user no longer on site) OP
9 weeks ago

Someone that you're really not sure about, and they tell you they are so up for it, and you really fancy it... but something says don't... but you don't really know why. Other than your own idiotic insecurities. Have you done it,? Or wouldn't you? I need to know.

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By *urve_your_enthusiasmWoman
9 weeks ago

Manchester

I have done in the past and always regretted it.

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By *ublinjonnMan
9 weeks ago

dublin

Yes.....where that voice in the back of your head says nooooo....don't do it!! And most of the time that lil voice is correct!!

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By *exyScientistsCouple
9 weeks ago

Castlebar

Yes once and I didn't do it. And I'm not sorry.

When I listen to that voice I'm never wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

Bail if it doesn't feel right.

It's just sex and there are lots more options out there.

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By *rsandMrAtoZCouple
9 weeks ago

Milton Keynes - currently in PDI

Definitely always listen to the internal voice, it is usually right.

There are lots of opportunities to chat and meet people in rh lifestyle, so don't do it, then look for the next opportunity with someone or some people new.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
9 weeks ago

Coventry

I think this is where you have to rationalise is it your insecurities or is your gut telling you something about them? If it's your gut, listen to it.

Also on a point of insecurities it maybe totally your insecurities keeping you down but it maybe also be something about them that you're not feeling totally comfortable and at ease with them. Which most likely is not a sinister thing, more a chemistry thing (or lack there of). However if they are not making you feel at ease and comfortable how does this bode for potential sexual chemistry and you feeling completely comfortable around them if you do meet?

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By *iss.BellaWoman
9 weeks ago

I once totally overthunk meeting someone. We'd built a really good friendship (a little more than that actually) and I was so worried that when he met me in person, he'd change his mind.

But I got on that train and made it to the hotel room. I felt sick to my stomach all day. Of course, he took a wrong turn on the motor way and ended up being very late. But he finally got there and to this day it's been the best experience I've had on here. I'm so glad I ignored my insecurities that day.

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By *rHotNottsMan
9 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I always trust my intuition unless I was sure I would not meet. I did do once about six years ago and met a couple in India that I wasn’t sure about the guy. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. He turned out to be an absolute nightmare in the bedroom, pushy abusive and bullying to the women.

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By *eoBloomsMan
9 weeks ago

Springfield

"I once totally overthunk meeting someone. We'd built a really good friendship (a little more than that actually) and I was so worried that when he met me in person, he'd change his mind.

Essex Tom still talks about it.❤️

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By *mmaleiaWoman
9 weeks ago

Trowbridge

"Yes once and I didn't do it. And I'm not sorry.

When I listen to that voice I'm never wrong. "

👆🏻this

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By (user no longer on site) OP
9 weeks ago

"I once totally overthunk meeting someone. We'd built a really good friendship (a little more than that actually) and I was so worried that when he met me in person, he'd change his mind.

You see i think I'm overthinking it. Everyone he's met has been young and hot. I'm neither. But he seems really keen. Maybe I just will.

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By *r Man45Man
9 weeks ago

North West

That's why I think its always best to meet for a social first. Any doubts or worries can be confirmed or put to bed afterwards (pardon the pun).

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By *rHotNottsMan
9 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"I once totally overthunk meeting someone. We'd built a really good friendship (a little more than that actually) and I was so worried that when he met me in person, he'd change his mind.

You see i think I'm overthinking it. Everyone he's met has been young and hot. I'm neither. But he seems really keen. Maybe I just will. "

I wouldn’t let who else they have met put me off, but if I wasn’t 100% sure they were genuinely interested in me now that’s a different matter. You can separate the two things.

I’ve met people on here where I don’t think I ranked well with their ‘others’, and they told me the complete opposite!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
9 weeks ago

"Bail if it doesn't feel right.

It's just sex and there are lots more options out there."

Not when you're my age and lol like me there isn't

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By (user no longer on site) OP
9 weeks ago

"I once totally overthunk meeting someone. We'd built a really good friendship (a little more than that actually) and I was so worried that when he met me in person, he'd change his mind.

You see i think I'm overthinking it. Everyone he's met has been young and hot. I'm neither. But he seems really keen. Maybe I just will.

I wouldn’t let who else they have met put me off, but if I wasn’t 100% sure they were genuinely interested in me now that’s a different matter. You can separate the two things.

I’ve met people on here where I don’t think I ranked well with their ‘others’, and they told me the complete opposite!

I never think anyone's genuinely interested in me. Probably my problem

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
9 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"Essex Tom still talks about it.❤️"

In the third person, I hope.

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By *issolvedOrdersMan
9 weeks ago

Bristol

"I once totally overthunk meeting someone. We'd built a really good friendship (a little more than that actually) and I was so worried that when he met me in person, he'd change his mind.

You see i think I'm overthinking it. Everyone he's met has been young and hot. I'm neither. But he seems really keen. Maybe I just will.

I wouldn’t let who else they have met put me off, but if I wasn’t 100% sure they were genuinely interested in me now that’s a different matter. You can separate the two things.

I’ve met people on here where I don’t think I ranked well with their ‘others’, and they told me the complete opposite!

I never think anyone's genuinely interested in me. Probably my problem"

I can relate to that feeling

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By (user no longer on site) OP
9 weeks ago

"Essex Tom still talks about it.❤️

In the third person, I hope."

I miss that guy!!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
9 weeks ago

Central

Yes and I mostly stay the engagement. I've made the mistake not to and wouldn't do it again.

There's a lot of risk and we're mostly fortunate. But wrong can be very wrong

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By *ookie46Woman
9 weeks ago

Deepest darkest Peru

I always trust my gut about a person if something doesn’t feel right it usually isn’t

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
9 weeks ago

Central

"Essex Tom still talks about it.❤️

In the third person, I hope.

I miss that guy!! "

He was a huge asset here and I miss him

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By *sWyldWoman
9 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I have. It actually turned out to be great.

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By *eparated_galWoman
9 weeks ago

Salford

I have and tbh it's easier to go through with it and leave rather than leave straight away, I don't really have regrets

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By *urvyLady4BlackMenWoman
9 weeks ago

Norwich

No I went with my gut and declined.

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By *oneyBee200Woman
9 weeks ago

Kent

Always trust your gut!

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By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

"No I went with my gut and declined. "

And I'm still devastated .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
9 weeks ago

"I always trust my gut about a person if something doesn’t feel right it usually isn’t "

What if for example you're not your usual self and you're an overthinking mess of a woman who seems hellbent on sabotaging everything?

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By *eoBloomsMan
9 weeks ago

Springfield

"Essex Tom still talks about it.❤️

In the third person, I hope."

Very good 🤣

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By *enegadeMMan
9 weeks ago

Witney

Go with your gut…. We have senses for a reason

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By (user no longer on site) OP
9 weeks ago

My gut is telling me big fat lies right now though. I'm convinced of it

The rest of my body is against me why wouldn't my guy be!??

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By *enegadeMMan
9 weeks ago

Witney

"My gut is telling me big fat lies right now though. I'm convinced of it

The rest of my body is against me why wouldn't my guy be!??"

Only you can decide oh wise one

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By *ugmesqueezemeMan
9 weeks ago

woburn sands

Yes I drove there, knocked on the door and turned around and walked away. Sometimes you need to let your head rule your cock.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
9 weeks ago

"My gut is telling me big fat lies right now though. I'm convinced of it

The rest of my body is against me why wouldn't my guy be!??

Only you can decide oh wise one

I meant gut. Not guy. How i long to be wise

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By (user no longer on site) OP
9 weeks ago

"Yes I drove there, knocked on the door and turned around and walked away. Sometimes you need to let your head rule your cock. "

Jeez. I need to find my cock. Anyone seen it??

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By *urves and HeelsWoman
9 weeks ago

Dumbarton

Some of my sexiest meets have been when my pussy ruled my head

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By *exyScientistsCouple
9 weeks ago

Castlebar

One other time I was in lingerie in a hotel...waiting. The guy messages and asks did his friend message me? I panicked and thought he'd invited someone else to the hotel....got dressed. Packed my bag and was gonna drive home. Waited in reception for him....

Turns out it was a miscommunication. Had a great night. Still meeting over a year later 😊

So turns out I am wrong sometimes 🙈

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By *ugmesqueezemeMan
9 weeks ago

woburn sands

"Yes I drove there, knocked on the door and turned around and walked away. Sometimes you need to let your head rule your cock.

Jeez. I need to find my cock. Anyone seen it??"

Probably pecking away somewhere

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By *iss.BellaWoman
9 weeks ago

"I once totally overthunk meeting someone. We'd built a really good friendship (a little more than that actually) and I was so worried that when he met me in person, he'd change his mind.

Essex Tom still talks about it.❤️"

😏😏😏

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By *enegadeMMan
9 weeks ago

Witney

Meet meet meet…. Ignore what I said before …I was d*unk …dizzy …confused …. Just meet

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By *ouble-SidedCouple
9 weeks ago

Voldsøy

"I always trust my gut about a person if something doesn’t feel right it usually isn’t

What if for example you're not your usual self and you're an overthinking mess of a woman who seems hellbent on sabotaging everything?"

I get this feeling. I overthink, too. I'd communicate it to them. I'm sure they'll understand and reassure you, I'd hope so anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
9 weeks ago

"I always trust my gut about a person if something doesn’t feel right it usually isn’t

What if for example you're not your usual self and you're an overthinking mess of a woman who seems hellbent on sabotaging everything?

I get this feeling. I overthink, too. I'd communicate it to them. I'm sure they'll understand and reassure you, I'd hope so anyway. "

Yeah I've told him so many times I'm crap. Constantly being reassured. I'd honestly have given up by now if i were him! Thank you.

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By *hickthighs25Woman
9 weeks ago

Stockton

Always trust your gut. Better to have lost out and be safe 💓

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By *ugmesqueezemeMan
9 weeks ago

woburn sands

I had a meeting with someone who totally over thought everything. Kept giving me the opportunity to back out. I never did, and even sent her a picture of me in the hotel room to put her at ease that I had turned up.

The whole meet was amazing. I just reassured them to be them, be comfortable and go with the flow. One of the best meets ever.

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By *eliWoman
9 weeks ago

"Someone that you're really not sure about, and they tell you they are so up for it, and you really fancy it... but something says don't... but you don't really know why. Other than your own idiotic insecurities. Have you done it,? Or wouldn't you? I need to know. "

I don't. If I'm not sure if someone is in to me I can quite quickly lose interest. I don't do well with uncertainty. That's not to say I need daily messaging but I like to feel certain about things. If it feels off there's generally a reason why.

In terms of insecurities, I try not to any more. I spent a few years regretting not confirming a date and disappearing and then I got another chance. I never want to make that mistake again.

It's easier said than done but don't compare yourself to others OP. Rarely do we see ourselves as others do. And also... I have quite varied taste in people when it comes to sex. I'm sure you do. Don't judge by a few veris.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
9 weeks ago

In terms of insecurities, I try not to any more. I spent a few years regretting not confirming a date and disappearing and then I got another chance. I never want to make that mistake again.

I think the problem is I'm not used to feeling insecure so I really don't know how to handle it. I know the old me would just do it and what the hell. Eurgh. I hate me right now!!🤣🤣

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By *oeBeansMan
9 weeks ago

Derby

I don't think I've ever had that to be honest. Everyone I've organised a meet with, I've wanted to meet. The only doubts I've ever had have been based on me and whether I would live up to their expectations

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By (user no longer on site) OP
9 weeks ago

"I don't think I've ever had that to be honest. Everyone I've organised a meet with, I've wanted to meet. The only doubts I've ever had have been based on me and whether I would live up to their expectations "

Yep. Those are my doubts.

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By *ugmesqueezemeMan
9 weeks ago

woburn sands

Yep. Those are my doubts."

What make you doubt you can live up to expectations?

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By *illowzWoman
9 weeks ago

Exeter

"That's why I think its always best to meet for a social first. Any doubts or worries can be confirmed or put to bed afterwards (pardon the pun)."

Exactly this. If I ever have niggling doubts in my mind, then social first.

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan
9 weeks ago

Manchester / Cardiff

Once; and it became the worst night of my life. There were red flags a plenty, but I ignored them.

I think for you though OP the big difference isn't that you're unsure of them, you're second guessing yourself; AND YOU REALLY NEEDN'T DO THAT. Every word of positivity and encouragement written above is justified and sound. Listen to the old you and go for it... 🤗

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By *oeBeansMan
9 weeks ago

Derby

Yep. Those are my doubts."

It's definitely a tough one, but I've gotten better at preventing that by telling myself that there's a reason they want to meet me and they must already like me otherwise they wouldn't have agreed 😅

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By *ad NannaWoman
9 weeks ago

East London

The first night I met my long term partner.

When he responded by message I thought I must have been the only woman online that time of night.

After moving to msn to chat he asked where I lived and said about coming over.

My brain was telling me don't be stupid, but my vagina said shut up, he's hot, you'll be an idiot if you turn this opportunity down.

Didn't think I'd see him again after that night.

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By *agneto.Man
9 weeks ago

Bham

Yes there's a few people these have sprang to mind. Years ago I have just gone ahead out of politeness but that's in real life, with swingers it's easier to say no I think.

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By *arlequin_tearsMan
9 weeks ago

Sheffield

Years ago got bitten by a late booty call. Drove out to the postcode and suddenly not answering phone or messages.

Also had people making me jump through hoops with no intention of meeting etc.

Or people trying to run scams and chat bots.

So while I am fully aware that I have social anxiety, worry about if I look okay, will be okay or not go to a club night because I 'know' that no-one will be interested etc.

I do try and listen to my intuition when sommat feels off

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
9 weeks ago

East Sussex

We have met people that my Spidey senses were telling me not to for no reason that I could articulate. I was right.

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By *omRachCouple
9 weeks ago

Wirral

[Removed by poster at 31/05/25 06:50:21]

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By *omRachCouple
9 weeks ago

Wirral

Always go with that gut instinct, it has your best interests at heart.

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
9 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…

Nope

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By *parkle1974Woman
9 weeks ago

Leeds

If I was unsure about someone then there is not a chance in hell I'd meet them.

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By *emma200Woman
9 weeks ago

Warwickshire

That don’t came in at the last minute..

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By *ellinever70Woman
9 weeks ago

Ayrshire

If I'm not sure, then I'm not meeting.

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By *stoppMan
9 weeks ago

Durham

After a conversation with a couple profile the meet kept changing dates and places, voice was saying it’s a bloke only turns out that voice was right

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By *randMrsShebaCouple
9 weeks ago

Birmingham

Mrs believes in gut feelings but I think it's nonsense.

I conduct careful analysis of toxic personality traits regarding personality disorders.

Some are pretty negative and obvious while others are things that fooled me in the past like charming type behaviours or idolizing me when I barely know them (which turns toxic because you can't meet their expectations)

It's a big list of things. It's not just about dating I have a worse experience with some colleagues and employers.

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By *dalisqueWoman
9 weeks ago

land of make believe

I always listen now.

I haven't in the past to my detriment.

🩵

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By *randMrsShebaCouple
9 weeks ago

Birmingham

I don't believe in intuitive senses.

The person with these "feelings" probably got a bad vibe from something negative but I myself need to have an absolutely solid reason that I investigated.

My wife is obviously someone who has feelings but I am extremely stoic and logical.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
9 weeks ago

Leeds

Yes & no, there's a reason I'd feel something wasn't right and no I wouldn't fuck someone if I was feeling something was off.

Mrs

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By *a1970Man
9 weeks ago

East cork

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By *eoBloomsMan
9 weeks ago

Springfield

I'd only ever meet socially first and in a safe public place, so any doubts wouldn't bother me. At worst I'm wasting a bit of time and money.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
9 weeks ago

Hmm thanks for all your input so far. I really don't think I have bad vibes about them. I'm pretty sure it's a me thing. But this is quite new for me as I don't normally feel like this. I'm gonna blame the menopause. Maybe what I'm feeling is anxiety? Not something I suffer with but have read it can be linked to menopause. Eurgh. Don't get old, kids!!

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By *heGateKeeperMan
9 weeks ago

Stratford

" Eurgh. Don't get old, kids!!"

Too late for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
9 weeks ago

" Eurgh. Don't get old, kids!!

Too late for you

Ha i know!! Not sure when it happened but it definitely did!!

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By *viatrixWoman
9 weeks ago

Redhill

"Yes once and I didn't do it. And I'm not sorry.

When I listen to that voice I'm never wrong.

👆🏻this"

Another vote for this.

I keep thinking I will fancy them when I meet them in person because they’re great in personality, but it never happens. Ever.

So, because I am here for my satisfaction, not a relationship or anything, I only meet people who tick all my boxes. Means I meet once in a blue moon but itdoesn’t matter. Nowadays one or two days of sex see me for 6 weeks or so. 🤭

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By *ealitybitesMan
9 weeks ago

Belfast

If I had even the slightest doubt about someone I wouldn't be having sex with them.

I'm not attracted to people that might cause me to have those doubts.

It's not about insecurity for me and much more about connection which is one of the reasons I get to know people over weeks and months before meeting socially and that part isn't open to negotiation.

I've never had sex just for the sake of it and don't think I ever could so gut feelings and doubts would mean a big no as far as I'm concerned.

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By *a LunaWoman
9 weeks ago

o o OO o o

Depends why I’m getting the “no don’t do it”vibe. Is it because of my lack of self confidence OR because I’m getting serial killer vibes.

I may brush one aside but run for the hills with the other!

Always trust your instinct.

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By *_elia DominaTV/TS
9 weeks ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

Gut instincts are never usually wrong.

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By *exxyyDy11Man
9 weeks ago

North West

If you have a bit of doubt in your gut, then go with your gut and don't bother going ahead with the meet.

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By *sStephenPickleMan
9 weeks ago

Ends

Yes. You.

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By *heGateKeeperMan
9 weeks ago

Stratford

Where’s my knife to cut all this sexual tension?

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By *sStephenPickleMan
9 weeks ago

Ends

"Where’s my knife to cut all this sexual tension?

I see you two

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By *heGateKeeperMan
9 weeks ago

Stratford

"Where’s my knife to cut all this sexual tension?

I see you two

Not me bruddah

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By *sStephenPickleMan
9 weeks ago

Ends

"Where’s my knife to cut all this sexual tension?

I see you two

Not me bruddah"

I just read up. There’s a lot

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By *sWyldWoman
9 weeks ago

Edinburgh

"Hmm thanks for all your input so far. I really don't think I have bad vibes about them. I'm pretty sure it's a me thing. But this is quite new for me as I don't normally feel like this. I'm gonna blame the menopause. Maybe what I'm feeling is anxiety? Not something I suffer with but have read it can be linked to menopause. Eurgh. Don't get old, kids!!"

Insecurity and anxiety is shit. Perimenopause brought me a whole heap of both. I've always been insecure and not confident within myself but now that's heightened with anxiety on top (oh and a bit of imposter syndrome for good measure)

It doesn't take much for my head to convince me I'm not good enough or that they couldn't possibly be that into me.

It's a real struggle and I have to work really hard at times to get past those thoughts. Not just when it comes to meeting people but even at work and in life.

I've also however realised we often regret the things we don't do when we wanted to,the most .

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By *ittlebirdWoman
9 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

I definitely have. Married him 🤮

I would say live and learn but I’ve made the same mistake a few times.

Always listen to your Scooby Senses ♥️

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By (user no longer on site) OP
9 weeks ago

It doesn't take much for my head to convince me I'm not good enough or that they couldn't possibly be that into me.

It's a real struggle and I have to work really hard at times to get past those thoughts. Not just when it comes to meeting people but even at work and in life.

I've also however realised we often regret the things we don't do when we wanted to,the most .

Thank you for this. I think this is exactly where I am. It's really not something i suffered with before. And yes! Imposter syndrome at work big style! I brought it up in my line management at work the other day and my boss is being really supportive. A colleague of mine also suffers with this and she found a webinar that she found really helped to understand it and with putting in measures to overcome it.

The self doubt really has come from no where though. I think I'm going to have to push it aside and pull up my big girl pants (not too big because that really won't do much for my confidence!) And go for it!! It's true. never regret the things you do, only the things you don't. Eeek!!

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By *iHungMan
9 weeks ago

blackpool

Yes & shouldn’t have tried to go through with it as it ended disappointingly for us all.

Thankfully it’s only happened once & all my other meets have been amazing.

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By *sWyldWoman
9 weeks ago

Edinburgh

It doesn't take much for my head to convince me I'm not good enough or that they couldn't possibly be that into me.

It's a real struggle and I have to work really hard at times to get past those thoughts. Not just when it comes to meeting people but even at work and in life.

I've also however realised we often regret the things we don't do when we wanted to,the most .

If you haven't considered it already, see if there is a menopause specialist within your GP practice. You don't have to suffer at the hands of hormones. I'd also really recommend menopause training within workplaces too. It's amazing the difference it can make.

Good luck. Find the pants that make you feel your best

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