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"I once totally overthunk meeting someone. We'd built a really good friendship (a little more than that actually) and I was so worried that when he met me in person, he'd change his mind. But I got on that train and made it to the hotel room. I felt sick to my stomach all day. Of course, he took a wrong turn on the motor way and ended up being very late. But he finally got there and to this day it's been the best experience I've had on here. I'm so glad I ignored my insecurities that day. ![]() Essex Tom still talks about it.❤️ | |||
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"Yes once and I didn't do it. And I'm not sorry. When I listen to that voice I'm never wrong. " 👆🏻this | |||
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"I once totally overthunk meeting someone. We'd built a really good friendship (a little more than that actually) and I was so worried that when he met me in person, he'd change his mind. But I got on that train and made it to the hotel room. I felt sick to my stomach all day. Of course, he took a wrong turn on the motor way and ended up being very late. But he finally got there and to this day it's been the best experience I've had on here. I'm so glad I ignored my insecurities that day. ![]() You see i think I'm overthinking it. Everyone he's met has been young and hot. I'm neither. But he seems really keen. Maybe I just will. | |||
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"I once totally overthunk meeting someone. We'd built a really good friendship (a little more than that actually) and I was so worried that when he met me in person, he'd change his mind. But I got on that train and made it to the hotel room. I felt sick to my stomach all day. Of course, he took a wrong turn on the motor way and ended up being very late. But he finally got there and to this day it's been the best experience I've had on here. I'm so glad I ignored my insecurities that day. ![]() I wouldn’t let who else they have met put me off, but if I wasn’t 100% sure they were genuinely interested in me now that’s a different matter. You can separate the two things. I’ve met people on here where I don’t think I ranked well with their ‘others’, and they told me the complete opposite! | |||
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"Bail if it doesn't feel right. It's just sex and there are lots more options out there." Not when you're my age and lol like me there isn't | |||
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"I once totally overthunk meeting someone. We'd built a really good friendship (a little more than that actually) and I was so worried that when he met me in person, he'd change his mind. But I got on that train and made it to the hotel room. I felt sick to my stomach all day. Of course, he took a wrong turn on the motor way and ended up being very late. But he finally got there and to this day it's been the best experience I've had on here. I'm so glad I ignored my insecurities that day. ![]() I never think anyone's genuinely interested in me. Probably my problem | |||
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"Essex Tom still talks about it.❤️" In the third person, I hope. | |||
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"I once totally overthunk meeting someone. We'd built a really good friendship (a little more than that actually) and I was so worried that when he met me in person, he'd change his mind. But I got on that train and made it to the hotel room. I felt sick to my stomach all day. Of course, he took a wrong turn on the motor way and ended up being very late. But he finally got there and to this day it's been the best experience I've had on here. I'm so glad I ignored my insecurities that day. ![]() I can relate to that feeling | |||
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"Essex Tom still talks about it.❤️ In the third person, I hope." I miss that guy!! | |||
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"Essex Tom still talks about it.❤️ In the third person, I hope. I miss that guy!! " ![]() | |||
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"No I went with my gut and declined. " And I'm still devastated . | |||
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"I always trust my gut about a person if something doesn’t feel right it usually isn’t " What if for example you're not your usual self and you're an overthinking mess of a woman who seems hellbent on sabotaging everything? | |||
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"Essex Tom still talks about it.❤️ In the third person, I hope." Very good 🤣 | |||
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"My gut is telling me big fat lies right now though. I'm convinced of it The rest of my body is against me why wouldn't my guy be!??" Only you can decide oh wise one ![]() | |||
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"My gut is telling me big fat lies right now though. I'm convinced of it The rest of my body is against me why wouldn't my guy be!?? Only you can decide oh wise one ![]() I meant gut. Not guy. How i long to be wise ![]() | |||
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"Yes I drove there, knocked on the door and turned around and walked away. Sometimes you need to let your head rule your cock. " Jeez. I need to find my cock. Anyone seen it?? | |||
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"Yes I drove there, knocked on the door and turned around and walked away. Sometimes you need to let your head rule your cock. Jeez. I need to find my cock. Anyone seen it??" Probably pecking away somewhere ![]() | |||
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"I once totally overthunk meeting someone. We'd built a really good friendship (a little more than that actually) and I was so worried that when he met me in person, he'd change his mind. But I got on that train and made it to the hotel room. I felt sick to my stomach all day. Of course, he took a wrong turn on the motor way and ended up being very late. But he finally got there and to this day it's been the best experience I've had on here. I'm so glad I ignored my insecurities that day. ![]() 😏😏😏 | |||
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"I always trust my gut about a person if something doesn’t feel right it usually isn’t What if for example you're not your usual self and you're an overthinking mess of a woman who seems hellbent on sabotaging everything?" I get this feeling. I overthink, too. I'd communicate it to them. I'm sure they'll understand and reassure you, I'd hope so anyway. | |||
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"I always trust my gut about a person if something doesn’t feel right it usually isn’t What if for example you're not your usual self and you're an overthinking mess of a woman who seems hellbent on sabotaging everything? I get this feeling. I overthink, too. I'd communicate it to them. I'm sure they'll understand and reassure you, I'd hope so anyway. " Yeah I've told him so many times I'm crap. Constantly being reassured. I'd honestly have given up by now if i were him! Thank you. | |||
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"Someone that you're really not sure about, and they tell you they are so up for it, and you really fancy it... but something says don't... but you don't really know why. Other than your own idiotic insecurities. Have you done it,? Or wouldn't you? I need to know. " I don't. If I'm not sure if someone is in to me I can quite quickly lose interest. I don't do well with uncertainty. That's not to say I need daily messaging but I like to feel certain about things. If it feels off there's generally a reason why. In terms of insecurities, I try not to any more. I spent a few years regretting not confirming a date and disappearing and then I got another chance. I never want to make that mistake again. It's easier said than done but don't compare yourself to others OP. Rarely do we see ourselves as others do. And also... I have quite varied taste in people when it comes to sex. I'm sure you do. Don't judge by a few veris. | |||
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"Someone that you're really not sure about, and they tell you they are so up for it, and you really fancy it... but something says don't... but you don't really know why. Other than your own idiotic insecurities. Have you done it,? Or wouldn't you? I need to know. I don't. If I'm not sure if someone is in to me I can quite quickly lose interest. I don't do well with uncertainty. That's not to say I need daily messaging but I like to feel certain about things. If it feels off there's generally a reason why. In terms of insecurities, I try not to any more. I spent a few years regretting not confirming a date and disappearing and then I got another chance. I never want to make that mistake again. It's easier said than done but don't compare yourself to others OP. Rarely do we see ourselves as others do. And also... I have quite varied taste in people when it comes to sex. I'm sure you do. Don't judge by a few veris." I think the problem is I'm not used to feeling insecure so I really don't know how to handle it. I know the old me would just do it and what the hell. Eurgh. I hate me right now!!🤣🤣 | |||
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"I don't think I've ever had that to be honest. Everyone I've organised a meet with, I've wanted to meet. The only doubts I've ever had have been based on me and whether I would live up to their expectations " Yep. Those are my doubts. | |||
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"I don't think I've ever had that to be honest. Everyone I've organised a meet with, I've wanted to meet. The only doubts I've ever had have been based on me and whether I would live up to their expectations Yep. Those are my doubts." What make you doubt you can live up to expectations? | |||
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"That's why I think its always best to meet for a social first. Any doubts or worries can be confirmed or put to bed afterwards (pardon the pun)." Exactly this. If I ever have niggling doubts in my mind, then social first. | |||
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"Someone that you're really not sure about, and they tell you they are so up for it, and you really fancy it... but something says don't... but you don't really know why. Other than your own idiotic insecurities. Have you done it,? Or wouldn't you? I need to know. " Once; and it became the worst night of my life. There were red flags a plenty, but I ignored them. I think for you though OP the big difference isn't that you're unsure of them, you're second guessing yourself; AND YOU REALLY NEEDN'T DO THAT. Every word of positivity and encouragement written above is justified and sound. Listen to the old you and go for it... 🤗 | |||
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"I don't think I've ever had that to be honest. Everyone I've organised a meet with, I've wanted to meet. The only doubts I've ever had have been based on me and whether I would live up to their expectations Yep. Those are my doubts." It's definitely a tough one, but I've gotten better at preventing that by telling myself that there's a reason they want to meet me and they must already like me otherwise they wouldn't have agreed 😅 | |||
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"Someone that you're really not sure about, and they tell you they are so up for it, and you really fancy it... but something says don't... but you don't really know why. Other than your own idiotic insecurities. Have you done it,? Or wouldn't you? I need to know. " Years ago got bitten by a late booty call. Drove out to the postcode and suddenly not answering phone or messages. Also had people making me jump through hoops with no intention of meeting etc. Or people trying to run scams and chat bots. So while I am fully aware that I have social anxiety, worry about if I look okay, will be okay or not go to a club night because I 'know' that no-one will be interested etc. I do try and listen to my intuition when sommat feels off | |||
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"Someone that you're really not sure about, and they tell you they are so up for it, and you really fancy it... but something says don't... but you don't really know why. Other than your own idiotic insecurities. Have you done it,? Or wouldn't you? I need to know. " if it don't feel perfect... Bail out | |||
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" Eurgh. Don't get old, kids!!" Too late for you ![]() | |||
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" Eurgh. Don't get old, kids!! Too late for you ![]() Ha i know!! Not sure when it happened but it definitely did!! | |||
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"Yes once and I didn't do it. And I'm not sorry. When I listen to that voice I'm never wrong. 👆🏻this" Another vote for this. I keep thinking I will fancy them when I meet them in person because they’re great in personality, but it never happens. Ever. So, because I am here for my satisfaction, not a relationship or anything, I only meet people who tick all my boxes. Means I meet once in a blue moon but itdoesn’t matter. Nowadays one or two days of sex see me for 6 weeks or so. 🤭 | |||
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"Where’s my knife to cut all this sexual tension? ![]() I see you two ![]() | |||
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"Where’s my knife to cut all this sexual tension? ![]() ![]() Not me bruddah | |||
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"Where’s my knife to cut all this sexual tension? ![]() ![]() I just read up. There’s a lot ![]() | |||
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"Hmm thanks for all your input so far. I really don't think I have bad vibes about them. I'm pretty sure it's a me thing. But this is quite new for me as I don't normally feel like this. I'm gonna blame the menopause. Maybe what I'm feeling is anxiety? Not something I suffer with but have read it can be linked to menopause. Eurgh. Don't get old, kids!!" Insecurity and anxiety is shit. Perimenopause brought me a whole heap of both. I've always been insecure and not confident within myself but now that's heightened with anxiety on top (oh and a bit of imposter syndrome for good measure) It doesn't take much for my head to convince me I'm not good enough or that they couldn't possibly be that into me. It's a real struggle and I have to work really hard at times to get past those thoughts. Not just when it comes to meeting people but even at work and in life. I've also however realised we often regret the things we don't do when we wanted to,the most . | |||
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"Hmm thanks for all your input so far. I really don't think I have bad vibes about them. I'm pretty sure it's a me thing. But this is quite new for me as I don't normally feel like this. I'm gonna blame the menopause. Maybe what I'm feeling is anxiety? Not something I suffer with but have read it can be linked to menopause. Eurgh. Don't get old, kids!! Insecurity and anxiety is shit. Perimenopause brought me a whole heap of both. I've always been insecure and not confident within myself but now that's heightened with anxiety on top (oh and a bit of imposter syndrome for good measure) It doesn't take much for my head to convince me I'm not good enough or that they couldn't possibly be that into me. It's a real struggle and I have to work really hard at times to get past those thoughts. Not just when it comes to meeting people but even at work and in life. I've also however realised we often regret the things we don't do when we wanted to,the most . " Thank you for this. I think this is exactly where I am. It's really not something i suffered with before. And yes! Imposter syndrome at work big style! I brought it up in my line management at work the other day and my boss is being really supportive. A colleague of mine also suffers with this and she found a webinar that she found really helped to understand it and with putting in measures to overcome it. The self doubt really has come from no where though. I think I'm going to have to push it aside and pull up my big girl pants (not too big because that really won't do much for my confidence!) And go for it!! It's true. never regret the things you do, only the things you don't. Eeek!! | |||
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"Hmm thanks for all your input so far. I really don't think I have bad vibes about them. I'm pretty sure it's a me thing. But this is quite new for me as I don't normally feel like this. I'm gonna blame the menopause. Maybe what I'm feeling is anxiety? Not something I suffer with but have read it can be linked to menopause. Eurgh. Don't get old, kids!! Insecurity and anxiety is shit. Perimenopause brought me a whole heap of both. I've always been insecure and not confident within myself but now that's heightened with anxiety on top (oh and a bit of imposter syndrome for good measure) It doesn't take much for my head to convince me I'm not good enough or that they couldn't possibly be that into me. It's a real struggle and I have to work really hard at times to get past those thoughts. Not just when it comes to meeting people but even at work and in life. I've also however realised we often regret the things we don't do when we wanted to,the most . Thank you for this. I think this is exactly where I am. It's really not something i suffered with before. And yes! Imposter syndrome at work big style! I brought it up in my line management at work the other day and my boss is being really supportive. A colleague of mine also suffers with this and she found a webinar that she found really helped to understand it and with putting in measures to overcome it. The self doubt really has come from no where though. I think I'm going to have to push it aside and pull up my big girl pants (not too big because that really won't do much for my confidence!) And go for it!! It's true. never regret the things you do, only the things you don't. Eeek!!" If you haven't considered it already, see if there is a menopause specialist within your GP practice. You don't have to suffer at the hands of hormones. I'd also really recommend menopause training within workplaces too. It's amazing the difference it can make. Good luck. Find the pants that make you feel your best ![]() | |||
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