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"We've been together 7 years. I'm having an affair. Not proud of it, but that's what it is. My partner is more of a friend these days. I don't not want him in my life, but I want to explore my sexuality. It'd be so out of left field if I were to broach the subject " Could you do it by bringing a woman in to the picture to begin with?? Make it about him? As a 3 some? So he can see it's about the physical side. | |||
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"We've been together 7 years. I'm having an affair. Not proud of it, but that's what it is. My partner is more of a friend these days. I don't not want him in my life, but I want to explore my sexuality. It'd be so out of left field if I were to broach the subject Could you do it by bringing a woman in to the picture to begin with?? Make it about him? As a 3 some? So he can see it's about the physical side. " They don't get it on as a couple though | |||
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"We've been together 7 years. I'm having an affair. Not proud of it, but that's what it is. My partner is more of a friend these days. I don't not want him in my life, but I want to explore my sexuality. It'd be so out of left field if I were to broach the subject Could you do it by bringing a woman in to the picture to begin with?? Make it about him? As a 3 some? So he can see it's about the physical side. " I don't think he'd be up for that. We haven't had sex for years | |||
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"Its all about what you want. What if he doesn't want an open relationship? What if he doesn't want to stay with you after you've cheated on him or even stay friends with you? Be honest and hope for the best but be prepared you may not get what you want. " I agree 100% with this and I think you need to look at why you cheated in the first place. You need to be 100% honest with your partner and allow them to make a fully informed decision about what they want. Yes they may choose to end the relationship and want nothing more to do with you but that was the risk you took when you cheated. | |||
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"Surely the first thing you should be doing is stopping the affair immediately, if you care about him at all. And then sort out what the pair of you’re gonna do " Yup. | |||
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"We've been together 7 years. I'm having an affair. Not proud of it, but that's what it is. My partner is more of a friend these days. I don't not want him in my life, but I want to explore my sexuality. It'd be so out of left field if I were to broach the subject " I feel the question that is being missed here is if he agrees to the open relationship would that take away the guilt of cheating. Open relationship can only work with honesty and clear boundaries. Think you may need to think about what you really want. | |||
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"Are you close enough to have the conversation of is he happy? Maybe ask him if he wants to venture outside the marriage to see what his reaction is, tell him you want to keep the family unit but would be happy for an open marriage if he is willing? See what his reaction is, if you’ve not had sex for years, I can tell you now he’s been thinking about if not already had an affair " He doesn't leave the house, so I'm the only bad one. This sucks | |||
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"Are you close enough to have the conversation of is he happy? Maybe ask him if he wants to venture outside the marriage to see what his reaction is, tell him you want to keep the family unit but would be happy for an open marriage if he is willing? See what his reaction is, if you’ve not had sex for years, I can tell you now he’s been thinking about if not already had an affair He doesn't leave the house, so I'm the only bad one. This sucks" Is he depressed, ill, stressed, unhappy? | |||
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"We've been together 7 years. I'm having an affair. Not proud of it, but that's what it is. My partner is more of a friend these days. I don't not want him in my life, but I want to explore my sexuality. It'd be so out of left field if I were to broach the subject " What if he wants to have sex with other women, will you be okay with that What if he too is having an affair/s?? You need to have the conversation with him and take it from there. It may well not go the way you want and end your relationship.But at least you will be free to pursue the sex life you seek, he could well be devastated by your behaviour though. | |||
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"Are you close enough to have the conversation of is he happy? Maybe ask him if he wants to venture outside the marriage to see what his reaction is, tell him you want to keep the family unit but would be happy for an open marriage if he is willing? See what his reaction is, if you’ve not had sex for years, I can tell you now he’s been thinking about if not already had an affair He doesn't leave the house, so I'm the only bad one. This sucks Is he depressed, ill, stressed, unhappy? " We works from home | |||
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"I think everyone is being too nice to you on here OP. Given that you are already having an open relationship but you are just not being open about it then I would suggest you treat him with some respect and finally just open up to him. Sit him down, tell him what you have done and explain why it isn’t working for you. Let him make his decision and then own the outcome like an adult. It’s not pleasant and will likely cause a lot of hurt but that ship has already sailed." Well said. If the roles were reversed, the guy would probably be getting slaughtered. | |||
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"Also imagine a bloke posted this. The responses would be very different." Yup. How would she feel if she found him in a club? | |||
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"Also imagine a bloke posted this. The responses would be very different." 👏 👏 | |||
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"Also imagine a bloke posted this. The responses would be very different. Yup. How would she feel if she found him in a club?" The double standards on here are ridiculous. | |||
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"You'd be amazed how many people are in exactly that position. It's known as Dead Bedroom. 20% of married couples have sex less than once a year - and that's just the ones who admit to it so it's likely much higher. It sounds counter-intuitive, but lots of people have affairs in order to SAVE a marriage which is making them miserable by lack of intimacy. You should probably see a relationship counsellor before dropping the Open Relationship bomb." I had this for 7 years.... I didn't cheat ... I left him ... or rather threw him out ... so that I could be happier solo. | |||
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"You'd be amazed how many people are in exactly that position. It's known as Dead Bedroom. 20% of married couples have sex less than once a year - and that's just the ones who admit to it so it's likely much higher. It sounds counter-intuitive, but lots of people have affairs in order to SAVE a marriage which is making them miserable by lack of intimacy. You should probably see a relationship counsellor before dropping the Open Relationship bomb." Pretty much agree with this and find everyone getting on their high horse about it quite amusing. There are far more people here in the same situation, just not open about it who you’d be shocked to find out had a significant other at home. Even people who would come on a thread like this and lambast someone for doing the same thing they do 😭 No one is saying that it’s right, but it is what it is and far more prevalent than people think/want to admit. | |||
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"You'd be amazed how many people are in exactly that position. It's known as Dead Bedroom. 20% of married couples have sex less than once a year - and that's just the ones who admit to it so it's likely much higher. It sounds counter-intuitive, but lots of people have affairs in order to SAVE a marriage which is making them miserable by lack of intimacy. You should probably see a relationship counsellor before dropping the Open Relationship bomb. Pretty much agree with this and find everyone getting on their high horse about it quite amusing. There are far more people here in the same situation, just not open about it who you’d be shocked to find out had a significant other at home. Even people who would come on a thread like this and lambast someone for doing the same thing they do 😭 No one is saying that it’s right, but it is what it is and far more prevalent than people think/want to admit." Has there been any lambasting? Go find any similar thread posted by a man and you’ll see what lambasting is. | |||
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"We've been together 7 years. I'm having an affair. Not proud of it, but that's what it is. My partner is more of a friend these days. I don't not want him in my life, but I want to explore my sexuality. It'd be so out of left field if I were to broach the subject " If a guy posted this very same question, the wolves of fab would strip your carcass in seconds… women get an easier ride, but shouldn’t. You’ve got two problems here… your relationship isn’t working for you, and you’re cheating by having an affair. So look at the problem you have and the problem you’re causing. Clearly, your marital relationship isn’t working for you. What is the cause of intimacy disappearing from it? Look at how you are both communicating with each other and work on that, if you actually want to fix your relationship that is. Do you look at your husband and miss the sexual aspect of your marriage, or are you no longer interested in restoring that aspect of your relationship? It is unlikely that opening up your marriage will save it. The fact is a swinging relationship can only be built on total, absolute trust, and having an affair isn’t swinging, it’s cheating. It’s up to you if you tell your husband that you’re having an affair, but you absolutely should be telling him how you’re feeling, and that your needs are not being satisfied in the marriage. He may be feeling the same way, and you might agree to go your separate ways. You’ve also got to be prepared to accept the consequences of your actions. Telling him could be a hammer blow, and end the relationship once and for all, and the fallout could be huge. You could ignore that and carry on as you are, until one day you slip up and get caught, and then the consequences could be far worse. You want him in your life, but want sexual freedom? You want your cake and eat it? Convince him to join up with a couples account, or let him give you the freedom to carry on as you are, but either way, you’ve got to have a conversation… soon. | |||
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"Has there been any lambasting? Go find any similar thread posted by a man and you’ll see what lambasting is. " Could you point me in the direction of one? I tried searching for open relationships and how do I tell her but didn't come up with anything relevant but gender swapped to compare it to 💜 | |||
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"Has there been any lambasting? Go find any similar thread posted by a man and you’ll see what lambasting is. Could you point me in the direction of one? I tried searching for open relationships and how do I tell her but didn't come up with anything relevant but gender swapped to compare it to 💜" I’m talking about cheating and using the sexless marriage excuse. There’s been loads over the years but you already know that. | |||
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Fairs | |||
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"Has there been any lambasting? Go find any similar thread posted by a man and you’ll see what lambasting is. Could you point me in the direction of one? I tried searching for open relationships and how do I tell her but didn't come up with anything relevant but gender swapped to compare it to 💜 I’m talking about cheating and using the sexless marriage excuse. There’s been loads over the years but you already know that." Oh there's plenty of those. But I mean with a similar "how do I talk to my partner about this" vibe rather than a "partner's not putting out so I fuck sluts" vibe. I don't really recall many threads like that, at least not any that didn't have the similar just tell em sort of answers. A statement of not being proud and then no further comments complaining that said cheated on partner is a boring fuck anyway go a long way to people not getting aggro 💜 | |||
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"If you want to see real lambasting, post this on MumsNet and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣 There is definitely an assumption that men have affairs because "they can't keep it in their pants" and that men are generally untrustworthy and easily drawn in, but the research on infidelity suggests that the vast majority of men who have affairs do it because they miss intimacy and the feeling of being wanted. As for "having your cake and eating it", isn't it just as selfish to withhold something as essential as sex from a partner you claim to love and expect to have all the other benefits of married life?" 'Try googling it. I imagine there'll be various FAB options for SWINGERS.' I just found that one right now. | |||
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"We've been together 7 years. I'm having an affair. Not proud of it, but that's what it is. My partner is more of a friend these days. I don't not want him in my life, but I want to explore my sexuality. It'd be so out of left field if I were to broach the subject Could you do it by bringing a woman in to the picture to begin with?? Make it about him? As a 3 some? So he can see it's about the physical side. I don't think he'd be up for that. We haven't had sex for years " Any idea where he's 'getting his' from? | |||
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"This topic certainly brings out the self righteous brigade. A sexless marriage happens because one side has unilaterally decided that's what will happen, maybe not consciously and maybe not suddenly, but it's a decision that they expect their partner to simply accept. the idea that they are now the innocent victim of the subsequent infidelity is a bit rich. " Now here's an interesting perspective. | |||
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"This topic certainly brings out the self righteous brigade. A sexless marriage happens because one side has unilaterally decided that's what will happen, maybe not consciously and maybe not suddenly, but it's a decision that they expect their partner to simply accept. the idea that they are now the innocent victim of the subsequent infidelity is a bit rich. " Actually, the sex life of a couple is largely reflective of the state of their relationship, in general when people are happy, love each other, & demonstrate it often, trust and respect to each other and are honest & faithful with each other , you tend to find they have great sex lives. | |||
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"This topic certainly brings out the self righteous brigade. A sexless marriage happens because one side has unilaterally decided that's what will happen, maybe not consciously and maybe not suddenly, but it's a decision that they expect their partner to simply accept. the idea that they are now the innocent victim of the subsequent infidelity is a bit rich. " If it's not a conscious decision how can they have expectations of how their partner will take said decision? Both parties are at fault for not considering the other or communicating effectively. But the one that fucks someone else and lies about it is definitely more at fault 💜 | |||
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"This topic certainly brings out the self righteous brigade. A sexless marriage happens because one side has unilaterally decided that's what will happen, maybe not consciously and maybe not suddenly, but it's a decision that they expect their partner to simply accept. the idea that they are now the innocent victim of the subsequent infidelity is a bit rich. Actually, the sex life of a couple is largely reflective of the state of their relationship, in general when people are happy, love each other, & demonstrate it often, trust and respect to each other and are honest & faithful with each other , you tend to find they have great sex lives. " That's an assumption which isn't supported by fact. Again, the research suggests that an awful lot of unfaithful men and women have marriages which incorporate all those good things but are still sexless. | |||
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"We've been together 7 years. I'm having an affair. Not proud of it, but that's what it is. My partner is more of a friend these days. I don't not want him in my life, but I want to explore my sexuality. It'd be so out of left field if I were to broach the subject " I think you are being incredibly selfish, personally. Grow up,talk to him. | |||
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"We've been together 7 years. I'm having an affair. Not proud of it, but that's what it is. My partner is more of a friend these days. I don't not want him in my life, but I want to explore my sexuality. It'd be so out of left field if I were to broach the subject I think you are being incredibly selfish, personally. Grow up,talk to him. " How, in particular, is that selfish? I’m not disagreeing but I’m curious | |||
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"This topic certainly brings out the self righteous brigade. A sexless marriage happens because one side has unilaterally decided that's what will happen, maybe not consciously and maybe not suddenly, but it's a decision that they expect their partner to simply accept. the idea that they are now the innocent victim of the subsequent infidelity is a bit rich. If it's not a conscious decision how can they have expectations of how their partner will take said decision? Both parties are at fault for not considering the other or communicating effectively. But the one that fucks someone else and lies about it is definitely more at fault 💜" "Not conscious" doesn't imply that they don't know what they're doing, it implies that there wasn't a single moment where sex was taken off the menu. It's generally a gradual process. I also don't necessarily agree that someone who chooses happiness over unhappiness is "definitely more at fault" than the one who causes the unhappiness. | |||
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"This topic certainly brings out the self righteous brigade. A sexless marriage happens because one side has unilaterally decided that's what will happen, maybe not consciously and maybe not suddenly, but it's a decision that they expect their partner to simply accept. the idea that they are now the innocent victim of the subsequent infidelity is a bit rich. If it's not a conscious decision how can they have expectations of how their partner will take said decision? Both parties are at fault for not considering the other or communicating effectively. But the one that fucks someone else and lies about it is definitely more at fault 💜 "Not conscious" doesn't imply that they don't know what they're doing, it implies that there wasn't a single moment where sex was taken off the menu. It's generally a gradual process. I also don't necessarily agree that someone who chooses happiness over unhappiness is "definitely more at fault" than the one who causes the unhappiness." It is a gradual process, one person stops wanting and the other stops trying. Then it becomes this big unspoken thing. A lot of couples don’t know what to do about it, because it’s much easier to take it day by day and pretend it’s not a problem. It’s all the more heartbreaking when there is still love there. Nobody wins, it’s either therapy, a tremendous amount of work or departure. I don’t personally agree with cheating but similarly, I’ve been in the position OP is describing and although I stayed faithful, I wanted to fuck other women. OP clearly doesn’t feel good about it, moralising at them is gonna change nothing. | |||
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"I think that marrying someone and then later deciding that sex shouldn't be a part of that marriage and that their partner should just put up with it is incredibly selfish." I agree which is why I ended my marriage. | |||
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"We've been together 7 years. I'm having an affair. Not proud of it, but that's what it is. My partner is more of a friend these days. I don't not want him in my life, but I want to explore my sexuality. It'd be so out of left field if I were to broach the subject I think you are being incredibly selfish, personally. Grow up,talk to him. How, in particular, is that selfish? I’m not disagreeing but I’m curious " If it needs explaining why cheating on someone is selfish then it's pointless my trying to explain. | |||
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"I think that marrying someone and then later deciding that sex shouldn't be a part of that marriage and that their partner should just put up with it is incredibly selfish." I will counteract that remark with.. who the FUCK walks into a job thinking 'yeahh babyy, this is exactly where I want to stay for my next ten or more years...*  | |||
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"We've been together 7 years. I'm having an affair. Not proud of it, but that's what it is. My partner is more of a friend these days. I don't not want him in my life, but I want to explore my sexuality. It'd be so out of left field if I were to broach the subject I think you are being incredibly selfish, personally. Grow up,talk to him. How, in particular, is that selfish? I’m not disagreeing but I’m curious If it needs explaining why cheating on someone is selfish then it's pointless my trying to explain. " Ah right, you just mean cheating in general? This is why I asked, fairs | |||
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"I think that marrying someone and then later deciding that sex shouldn't be a part of that marriage and that their partner should just put up with it is incredibly selfish. I will counteract that remark with.. who the FUCK walks into a job thinking 'yeahh babyy, this is exactly where I want to stay for my next ten or more years...* "Wait, you mean you’re allowed to change your mind like a person with nuance and the ability to develop? When did this come in? Thank you, I’ve now finally got the courage to leave O2 | |||
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""Not conscious" doesn't imply that they don't know what they're doing, it implies that there wasn't a single moment where sex was taken off the menu. It's generally a gradual process. I also don't necessarily agree that someone who chooses happiness over unhappiness is "definitely more at fault" than the one who causes the unhappiness." Choosing happiness over someone else's right to make an informed choice doesn't sit with me. If your partner is making you unhappy, leave. You can both find people who are better for each of you. You don't want to have a dead bedroom, don't. Talk, agree to an open relationship or a path to restoring an active sex life, break up if that's the option. Dead bedrooms are a symptom of a dying relationship, rather than a cause. It's just a symptom that people seem keener to stick a sparkly unicorn plaster over than to actually deal with the root cause 💜 | |||
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""Not conscious" doesn't imply that they don't know what they're doing, it implies that there wasn't a single moment where sex was taken off the menu. It's generally a gradual process. I also don't necessarily agree that someone who chooses happiness over unhappiness is "definitely more at fault" than the one who causes the unhappiness. Choosing happiness over someone else's right to make an informed choice doesn't sit with me. If your partner is making you unhappy, leave. You can both find people who are better for each of you. You don't want to have a dead bedroom, don't. Talk, agree to an open relationship or a path to restoring an active sex life, break up if that's the option. Dead bedrooms are a symptom of a dying relationship, rather than a cause. It's just a symptom that people seem keener to stick a sparkly unicorn plaster over than to actually deal with the root cause 💜" I’m not sure she actually said he was making her unhappy…. | |||
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"I wonder what the responses would have been if a man had written this ? Good luck OP" Some exactly the same. The others different. There have been threads before from men asking for advice and people have responded in a similar fashion to this. I think a lot comes down to how it's worded. And the first few responses. | |||
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""Not conscious" doesn't imply that they don't know what they're doing, it implies that there wasn't a single moment where sex was taken off the menu. It's generally a gradual process. I also don't necessarily agree that someone who chooses happiness over unhappiness is "definitely more at fault" than the one who causes the unhappiness. Choosing happiness over someone else's right to make an informed choice doesn't sit with me. If your partner is making you unhappy, leave. You can both find people who are better for each of you. You don't want to have a dead bedroom, don't. Talk, agree to an open relationship or a path to restoring an active sex life, break up if that's the option. Dead bedrooms are a symptom of a dying relationship, rather than a cause. It's just a symptom that people seem keener to stick a sparkly unicorn plaster over than to actually deal with the root cause 💜 I’m not sure she actually said he was making her unhappy…." Oh that was a direct response to the line "I also don't necessarily agree that someone who chooses happiness over unhappiness is "definitely more at fault" than the one who causes the unhappiness." | |||
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"I think that marrying someone and then later deciding that sex shouldn't be a part of that marriage and that their partner should just put up with it is incredibly selfish. I will counteract that remark with.. who the FUCK walks into a job thinking 'yeahh babyy, this is exactly where I want to stay for my next ten or more years...*
Wait, you mean you’re allowed to change your mind like a person with nuance and the ability to develop? When did this come in?
Thank you, I’ve now finally got the courage to leave O2"If you walked into a ten year contract with O2 and are happy then yayyy for you | |||
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"I think that marrying someone and then later deciding that sex shouldn't be a part of that marriage and that their partner should just put up with it is incredibly selfish. I will counteract that remark with.. who the FUCK walks into a job thinking 'yeahh babyy, this is exactly where I want to stay for my next ten or more years...*
Wait, you mean you’re allowed to change your mind like a person with nuance and the ability to develop? When did this come in?
Thank you, I’ve now finally got the courage to leave O2
If you walked into a ten year contract with O2 and are happy then yayyy for you "I’m not happy, I’ve been using EE on the side with another device. I don’t know how to tell O2, the O2 Priority benefits dried up a while ago. Plus, I’m scared of losing my Volt benefits. Maybe if I talk to them I can have two sims? | |||
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"I wonder what the responses would have been if a man had written this ? Good luck OP" Know your place, Boy. | |||
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"Show him your Fab profile 👍" lol 😆 | |||
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"You are a 38 year old woman. Single 38 year old men prefer women in their 20s. " What does that have to do with anything? | |||
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"OMG, people and their "don't judge" 🐃💩 are sooo BORING...we all know (them included) that cheating, lying and being dishonest is inherently wrong...we all have a disdain for people like that when we meet them in real life (especially if we are on the receiving end), yet they want to put their "compassion" coat on making excuses for the cheater, and shifting the blame towards the partner, at the same time. Regardless of how complex the situation is, regardless if your partner is not giving you the sex you want (for whatever reason) if your reaction is to go and cheat on them, before having the conversation with them and making a clear choice of whether to stay or leave, you are in the wrong... period. The only acceptable situation is when your partner is no longer mentally capable of having that conversation (which is not the case for the OP)" That’s possibly one acceptable situation. There are others when the person needs caring for or there anre other complexities like children with severe special needs where leaving would be hugely detrimental to their mental health. | |||
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"OMG, people and their "don't judge" 🐃💩 are sooo BORING...we all know (them included) that cheating, lying and being dishonest is inherently wrong...we all have a disdain for people like that when we meet them in real life (especially if we are on the receiving end), yet they want to put their "compassion" coat on making excuses for the cheater, and shifting the blame towards the partner, at the same time. Regardless of how complex the situation is, regardless if your partner is not giving you the sex you want (for whatever reason) if your reaction is to go and cheat on them, before having the conversation with them and making a clear choice of whether to stay or leave, you are in the wrong... period. The only acceptable situation is when your partner is no longer mentally capable of having that conversation (which is not the case for the OP) That’s possibly one acceptable situation. There are others when the person needs caring for or there anre other complexities like children with severe special needs where leaving would be hugely detrimental to their mental health." You can live together and coparent without being in a relationship if that's what is needed. There's no reason to not be honest with the other competent adults in those situations 💜 | |||
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"We've been together 7 years. I'm having an affair. Not proud of it, but that's what it is. My partner is more of a friend these days. I don't not want him in my life, but I want to explore my sexuality. It'd be so out of left field if I were to broach the subject " My thoughts are what you did before your partner ? Were you on fab or something similar as once you have experienced and enjoyed casual sex it is a hard decision to stay with the same partner for the rest of your life especially if the sex is bad or nothing at all. Is the trill of the casual sexual driving your desire for this affair? If it is i wonder if it’s an itch to scratch and that Will pass given time or the loss of excitement with the new partner ? | |||
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"So much help on this one but I can't help thinking "What if a man made this post..." Makes you wonder indeed." That's already been addressed if you've read the whole thread | |||
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" What does that have to do with anything? " She might be able to get sex from online encounters for a few years but she's missed the boat on marrying prince charming or the average working man. If she leaves a 38 year old work from home dad bod guy he will heartbroken but he will replace her with a 22 year old hottie eventually and forget she ever existed. She needs to realize this or she will be a lonely old woman. | |||
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"I cannot wait to be a lonely old woman 💜" 😟😞 I hated feeling lonely, one of the worst times of my life. | |||
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"We've been together 7 years. I'm having an affair. Not proud of it, but that's what it is. My partner is more of a friend these days. I don't not want him in my life, but I want to explore my sexuality. It'd be so out of left field if I were to broach the subject " be honest and tell him that, you never know he might love to be a cuck but atleast he will know and maybe move on and find someone else. You made your bed so lay in it | |||
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" What does that have to do with anything? She might be able to get sex from online encounters for a few years but she's missed the boat on marrying prince charming or the average working man. If she leaves a 38 year old work from home dad bod guy he will heartbroken but he will replace her with a 22 year old hottie eventually and forget she ever existed. She needs to realize this or she will be a lonely old woman." So what age do women miss the boat on marrying prince charming? And where does the 38 yr old work from home dad bod guy's go to find 22 yr old hottie's? 🤔  | |||
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"I cannot wait to be a lonely old woman 💜 😟😞 I hated feeling lonely, one of the worst times of my life. " I think I enjoy my own company too much to be truly lonely. And I have an excellent network of friends for emotional support anyway. It was more that when I'm too old and ugly to get penis on demand (spoiler alert, penis is always easy to come by whatever your status) I'd rather be 'lonely' in my twilight years than spend my whole life picking up after some bloke I decided to settle with purely because it was better than being alone 💜 | |||
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"We've been together 7 years. I'm having an affair. Not proud of it, but that's what it is. My partner is more of a friend these days. I don't not want him in my life, but I want to explore my sexuality. It'd be so out of left field if I were to broach the subject " If you still want him in your life, don’t admit to the affair. Just say you are bored with the status quo. If you are saying you ‘want to explore sexually’ , I note you are ‘bi curious’…maybe start with that. You may find his libido suddenly goes into orbit & then go from there | |||
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"I cannot wait to be a lonely old woman 💜 😟😞 I hated feeling lonely, one of the worst times of my life. I think I enjoy my own company too much to be truly lonely. And I have an excellent network of friends for emotional support anyway. It was more that when I'm too old and ugly to get penis on demand (spoiler alert, penis is always easy to come by whatever your status) I'd rather be 'lonely' in my twilight years than spend my whole life picking up after some bloke I decided to settle with purely because it was better than being alone 💜" Amen. I have chosen to be a solo happy old woman rather than settling for a mediocre man or worse still a toxic man-child. I may be alone and solo, but I am incredibly fortunate to be far from lonely. | |||
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"I cannot wait to be a lonely old woman 💜" Sad to hear. It’s always better to watch a sunset alongside somebody special ❤️ | |||
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"I cannot wait to be a lonely old woman 💜 Sad to hear. It’s always better to watch a sunset alongside somebody special ❤️ " Oh no doubt. But chosen friends and people that I want around me specifically for themselves sound better to watch it with than someone I stuck with despite being unsatisfied just to avoid being a lonely old woman 💜 | |||
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"I cannot wait to be a lonely old woman 💜 Sad to hear. It’s always better to watch a sunset alongside somebody special ❤️ Oh no doubt. But chosen friends and people that I want around me specifically for themselves sound better to watch it with than someone I stuck with despite being unsatisfied just to avoid being a lonely old woman 💜" Sure, but if you are in the right relationship it’s no contest imo | |||
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"I cannot wait to be a lonely old woman 💜" Me too 😂 | |||
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"You mean you ladies couldn't find a guy who picks up after himself? I provide for my wife, spoil her and I still made her dinner and washed up 2 nights in a row. It's because you are shit at picking men. Mediocre women should expect mediocre men. But I am blessed to have a good wife. " So you're doing the bare minimum, bravo 👏👏👏 | |||
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"I cannot wait to be a lonely old woman 💜 Sad to hear. It’s always better to watch a sunset alongside somebody special ❤️ Oh no doubt. But chosen friends and people that I want around me specifically for themselves sound better to watch it with than someone I stuck with despite being unsatisfied just to avoid being a lonely old woman 💜 Sure, but if you are in the right relationship it’s no contest imo " Oh absolutely. But this is on a thread from someone who clearly isn't in the right relationship 💜 | |||
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" So what age do women miss the boat on marrying prince charming? And where does the 38 yr old work from home dad bod guy's go to find 22 yr old hottie's? 🤔 "30 Thailand | |||
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"You mean you ladies couldn't find a guy who picks up after himself? I provide for my wife, spoil her and I still made her dinner and washed up 2 nights in a row. It's because you are shit at picking men. Mediocre women should expect mediocre men. But I am blessed to have a good wife. " Oof. She doesn't even make you dinner or do the dishes after you have a long day providing for her? Looks like someone doesn't know how to get a high value woman 😉 | |||
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"So you're doing the bare minimum, bravo 👏👏👏" Coach handbag Platinum and diamonds Holiday to canaries Holiday to turkey Meals out very often Help with car Safari Balloon ride Cinema dates Latest iPhone Hair Nails All bills paid Much much more.. In fact she's never paid a single thing.... No prizes for you. | |||
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"I cannot wait to be a lonely old woman 💜 Sad to hear. It’s always better to watch a sunset alongside somebody special ❤️ Oh no doubt. But chosen friends and people that I want around me specifically for themselves sound better to watch it with than someone I stuck with despite being unsatisfied just to avoid being a lonely old woman 💜 Sure, but if you are in the right relationship it’s no contest imo Oh absolutely. But this is on a thread from someone who clearly isn't in the right relationship 💜" Yes at the moment it certainly isn’t. Is it salvageable in anyway? …“possibly”…but it clearly requires a major upgrade in communication asap if it is going to have anything akin to a happy future… | |||
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"You mean you ladies couldn't find a guy who picks up after himself? I provide for my wife, spoil her and I still made her dinner and washed up 2 nights in a row. It's because you are shit at picking men. Mediocre women should expect mediocre men. But I am blessed to have a good wife. Oof. She doesn't even make you dinner or do the dishes after you have a long day providing for her? Looks like someone doesn't know how to get a high value woman 😉" She cooks fantastic food most of the time but she's also got an important job now. This argument makes no sense because if I don't spoil her I'm "doing the bare minimum" And if I do spoil her "she's taking liberties" But I'd say it's better to have this while fucking a hot 24 year old childless woman than fucking a 40 year old with another man's kids. | |||
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"You mean you ladies couldn't find a guy who picks up after himself? I provide for my wife, spoil her and I still made her dinner and washed up 2 nights in a row. It's because you are shit at picking men. Mediocre women should expect mediocre men. But I am blessed to have a good wife. Oof. She doesn't even make you dinner or do the dishes after you have a long day providing for her? Looks like someone doesn't know how to get a high value woman 😉 She cooks fantastic food most of the time but she's also got an important job now. This argument makes no sense because if I don't spoil her I'm "doing the bare minimum" And if I do spoil her "she's taking liberties" But I'd say it's better to have this while fucking a hot 24 year old childless woman than fucking a 40 year old with another man's kids." So what happens when she is no longer a hot 24yr old? Do you trade her in for a new one? | |||
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"Yes at the moment it certainly isn’t. Is it salvageable in anyway? …“possibly”…but it clearly requires a major upgrade in communication asap if it is going to have anything akin to a happy future…" The OP wants to ask for an open relationship. The other person is saying that if she loses her relationship now she'll be alone forever as if it's some kind of threat. Some relationships are worth fighting for. If you've been fucking around behind their back for months and have so little respect for them as a partner it's probably not actually worth trying, unless it was out of a sad fear of being alone. It's healthy for people to be able to be alone instead of staying in situations that don't bring anyone joy 💜 | |||
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"You mean you ladies couldn't find a guy who picks up after himself? I provide for my wife, spoil her and I still made her dinner and washed up 2 nights in a row. It's because you are shit at picking men. Mediocre women should expect mediocre men. But I am blessed to have a good wife. Oof. She doesn't even make you dinner or do the dishes after you have a long day providing for her? Looks like someone doesn't know how to get a high value woman 😉 She cooks fantastic food most of the time but she's also got an important job now. This argument makes no sense because if I don't spoil her I'm "doing the bare minimum" And if I do spoil her "she's taking liberties" But I'd say it's better to have this while fucking a hot 24 year old childless woman than fucking a 40 year old with another man's kids." Ah, sarcasm is difficult through text huh. I hope she's got her ducks in a row for when she gets too old for you. If you've got her a good job then hopefully she's got a decent escape fund building 💜 | |||
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" What does that have to do with anything? She might be able to get sex from online encounters for a few years but she's missed the boat on marrying prince charming or the average working man. If she leaves a 38 year old work from home dad bod guy he will heartbroken but he will replace her with a 22 year old hottie eventually and forget she ever existed. She needs to realize this or she will be a lonely old woman. " There is no such thing as Prince charming. Life isn't a fairytale.... | |||
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"Thread hijacking at its finest 👏" Yep, he's got his knickers in a twist over nothing But turned the thread quite sour unfortunately  | |||
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"Thread hijacking at its finest 👏 Yep, he's got his knickers in a twist over nothing But turned the thread quite sour unfortunately "When you can't afford a therapy session because all your money goes on your girlfriend, so you turn a forum thread into one 👀... | |||
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"We've been together 7 years. I'm having an affair. Not proud of it, but that's what it is. My partner is more of a friend these days. I don't not want him in my life, but I want to explore my sexuality. It'd be so out of left field if I were to broach the subject " So you’re a cheat | |||
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"OMG, people and their "don't judge" 🐃💩 are sooo BORING...we all know (them included) that cheating, lying and being dishonest is inherently wrong...we all have a disdain for people like that when we meet them in real life (especially if we are on the receiving end), yet they want to put their "compassion" coat on making excuses for the cheater, and shifting the blame towards the partner, at the same time. Regardless of how complex the situation is, regardless if your partner is not giving you the sex you want (for whatever reason) if your reaction is to go and cheat on them, before having the conversation with them and making a clear choice of whether to stay or leave, you are in the wrong... period. The only acceptable situation is when your partner is no longer mentally capable of having that conversation (which is not the case for the OP) That’s possibly one acceptable situation. There are others when the person needs caring for or there anre other complexities like children with severe special needs where leaving would be hugely detrimental to their mental health. You can live together and coparent without being in a relationship if that's what is needed. There's no reason to not be honest with the other competent adults in those situations 💜" I know someone in that situation and it can work, but you will need your own bedrooms, bank accounts and learn to live as flat mates, who have their own sex lives, friends and identities. | |||
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"I know someone in that situation and it can work, but you will need your own bedrooms, bank accounts and learn to live as flat mates, who have their own sex lives, friends and identities." Yes. It requires work. It's a lot more complicated than just lying to someone who thinks they're in a loving relationship with someone who respects them 💜 | |||
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"Amazing the difference in responses when a woman admits she is having an affair behind her partners back to how a man is treated when he admits the same " Examples, please 💜 | |||
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"Amazing the difference in responses when a woman admits she is having an affair behind her partners back to how a man is treated when he admits the same Examples, please 💜" I think if you read many forum posts or men asking for profile advice where they cannot accommodate you’ll find the answers For me it seems on here that woman that cheat are given far more grace than men do Just my opinion | |||
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"Amazing the difference in responses when a woman admits she is having an affair behind her partners back to how a man is treated when he admits the same Examples, please 💜 I think if you read many forum posts or men asking for profile advice where they cannot accommodate you’ll find the answers For me it seems on here that woman that cheat are given far more grace than men do Just my opinion " You think? I only really recall not being able to accommodate as being pointed out as a red flag for cheaters on such threads, not necessarily with any more vitriol than has been shown on here 💜 | |||
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"Amazing the difference in responses when a woman admits she is having an affair behind her partners back to how a man is treated when he admits the same Examples, please 💜 I think if you read many forum posts or men asking for profile advice where they cannot accommodate you’ll find the answers For me it seems on here that woman that cheat are given far more grace than men do Just my opinion You think? I only really recall not being able to accommodate as being pointed out as a red flag for cheaters on such threads, not necessarily with any more vitriol than has been shown on here 💜" I do think yes. As I say it’s just my opinion | |||
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"This topic certainly brings out the self righteous brigade. A sexless marriage happens because one side has unilaterally decided that's what will happen, maybe not consciously and maybe not suddenly, but it's a decision that they expect their partner to simply accept. the idea that they are now the innocent victim of the subsequent infidelity is a bit rich. " Absolutely agree with this having it happen to me in both marriages. I didn’t cheat but had to decide to get divorced for my own sake even though that is incredibly difficult as I loved them both dearly. It was once said to me that what goes on in a marriage is only known to those 2 people. That I know for a fact is true. I also know people, even the ones you truly love, can in fact be cunts 😘 | |||
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"I do think yes. As I say it’s just my opinion " It's a very common opinion that's come up a lot on this one. I was just asking for an example because I don't actually see it. I've not seen a man ask how to tell his partner and get any worse. Unless he took to insulting and blaming the partner, that does tend to provoke more ire, but that's about the action not the gender of the person performing it 💜 | |||
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"I do think yes. As I say it’s just my opinion It's a very common opinion that's come up a lot on this one. I was just asking for an example because I don't actually see it. I've not seen a man ask how to tell his partner and get any worse. Unless he took to insulting and blaming the partner, that does tend to provoke more ire, but that's about the action not the gender of the person performing it 💜 " As in the OP where she admits she doesn’t want him but wants an open relationship If you don’t want to be with your partner then leave them than ask him for an open relationship. She wants to sexually explore but not with him or be with him The to me is insulting. Insulting to her partner as its game playing | |||
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"I do think yes. As I say it’s just my opinion It's a very common opinion that's come up a lot on this one. I was just asking for an example because I don't actually see it. I've not seen a man ask how to tell his partner and get any worse. Unless he took to insulting and blaming the partner, that does tend to provoke more ire, but that's about the action not the gender of the person performing it 💜 As in the OP where she admits she doesn’t want him but wants an open relationship If you don’t want to be with your partner then leave them than ask him for an open relationship. She wants to sexually explore but not with him or be with him The to me is insulting. Insulting to her partner as its game playing " She says that she doesn’t want him in her life | |||
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"I do think yes. As I say it’s just my opinion It's a very common opinion that's come up a lot on this one. I was just asking for an example because I don't actually see it. I've not seen a man ask how to tell his partner and get any worse. Unless he took to insulting and blaming the partner, that does tend to provoke more ire, but that's about the action not the gender of the person performing it 💜 As in the OP where she admits she doesn’t want him but wants an open relationship If you don’t want to be with your partner then leave them than ask him for an open relationship. She wants to sexually explore but not with him or be with him The to me is insulting. Insulting to her partner as its game playing She says that she doesn’t want him in her life " op says she does want him in her life, she's just worded it differently x | |||
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"I do think yes. As I say it’s just my opinion It's a very common opinion that's come up a lot on this one. I was just asking for an example because I don't actually see it. I've not seen a man ask how to tell his partner and get any worse. Unless he took to insulting and blaming the partner, that does tend to provoke more ire, but that's about the action not the gender of the person performing it 💜 As in the OP where she admits she doesn’t want him but wants an open relationship If you don’t want to be with your partner then leave them than ask him for an open relationship. She wants to sexually explore but not with him or be with him The to me is insulting. Insulting to her partner as its game playing She says that she doesn’t want him in her life " She says she doesn't not want him. That's not the same thing. Cheating is fucking insulting on the whole. I do not like to get involved with people who do that to people who think they care. But if someone is saying they actually want to stop cheating then I'm at least willing to be softer in the conversation about it. Regardless of gender. | |||
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"I think everyone is being too nice to you on here OP. Given that you are already having an open relationship but you are just not being open about it then I would suggest you treat him with some respect and finally just open up to him. Sit him down, tell him what you have done and explain why it isn’t working for you. Let him make his decision and then own the outcome like an adult. It’s not pleasant and will likely cause a lot of hurt but that ship has already sailed." Yep, this. Sorry, but you did ask. I do understand people have reasons for doing what they do but it would seem you both want different things so you might as well just come clean and move on, then allow him to deal with it how he needs to. | |||
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" What does that have to do with anything? She might be able to get sex from online encounters for a few years but she's missed the boat on marrying prince charming or the average working man. If she leaves a 38 year old work from home dad bod guy he will heartbroken but he will replace her with a 22 year old hottie eventually and forget she ever existed. She needs to realize this or she will be a lonely old woman. " Hang on a minute. Are you seriously suggesting that because she is older that she should put up and shut up in an unsatisfactory relationship because nobody will want her? Utter tosh. She may find it harder to find someone, she may not even want to find someone, but it is not impossible. And yes I’m sure an average looking guy will be inundated by younger women (really?) throwing themselves at him, but I’m sure they’re not doing that out of lust. More for financial security. And if you want to be partnered with someone who wants you JUST because you have money then I can’t see that relationship being a happy one either, despite that person being younger. Sure it’ll be a boost to the ego for a bit, the sex might be hot, for a bit, but long term? Doubtful. I’m not condoning the cheating. But I’m not going to condemn her to a life of putting up and shutting up because her current situation is the best she can hope for either. | |||
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"If a male wrote this on here he would get slaughtered ha ha ." Facts | |||
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"Took her to safora the other day and got her perfume and lipstick etc... Golf and cinema Then we went on the train to get posh food and wine bars etc... That's what men do for younger hot women. Because old ladies reverberate in our heads living rent free with comments like "so you do the bare minimum" ....and that trauma led me to marry a younger African girl. I'd rather spend money on her nails than you're kids." I hope you know she can leave you for a younger man at some point 😊 | |||
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