FabSwingers.com forum: Can you be married and feel lonely?

By *hagTonight OP Man
10 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

I want to see what you think if this. I saw someone post a meet on fb saying that they are married but still feeling lonely and want friends, but the partner doesnt allow them to see others and have friends.

I can totally uderstand why they want to meet others, being lonely in a marriage is the absolute worst, not just singles can feel lonely but also those who are married and have a partner.

What causes a lonley relationship? Could it be the lack of intimacy or incompatibility, or both of it?

What can be done in such a situation? I think that the best thing is to address it and talk about it to your partner and tell them how you feel, communication is the key.

Have you gone through the same thing, can you relate and felt lonely, what do you think is the best solution for this is, do you also agree that communication is the best thing in this situation?

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By *lyingsolo1000Woman
10 weeks ago

Reading

"I want to see what you think if this. I saw someone post a meet on fb saying that they are married but still feeling lonely and want friends, but the partner doesnt allow them to see others and have friends.

I can totally uderstand why they want to meet others, being lonely in a marriage is the absolute worst, not just singles can feel lonely but also those who are married and have a partner.

What causes a lonley relationship? Could it be the lack of intimacy or incompatibility, or both of it?

What can be done in such a situation? I think that the best thing is to address it and talk about it to your partner and tell them how you feel, communication is the key.

Have you gone through the same thing, can you relate and felt lonely, what do you think is the best solution for this is, do you also agree that communication is the best thing in this situation?

I was very lonely towards the end of my marriage, it’s one of the very many reasons why I’m not married anymore.

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By *occerstar579Man
10 weeks ago

Harrogate

I can totally uderstand why they want to meet others, being lonely in a marriage is the absolute worst, not just singles can feel lonely but also those who are married and have a partner.

What causes a lonley relationship? Could it be the lack of intimacy or incompatibility, or both of it?

What can be done in such a situation? I think that the best thing is to address it and talk about it to your partner and tell them how you feel, communication is the key.

Have you gone through the same thing, can you relate and felt lonely, what do you think is the best solution for this is, do you also agree that communication is the best thing in this situation?

I was very lonely towards the end of my marriage, it’s one of the very many reasons why I’m not married anymore. "

I agree....when communication ends both physical and verbal...and you realise the end is near its very lonely...divorced 12 years ago..

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By *rHotNottsMan
10 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

[Removed by poster at 22/05/25 08:12:01]

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By *rHotNottsMan
10 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Lots of people are lonely and married. It’s one of the worst kind of lonely because you can’t really crack on and do the things a single person does to stop yourself from being lonely.

You can also feel lonely when you’re out with friends or socialising sometimes just something is missing.

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By *reachersdaughterWoman
10 weeks ago

Someplace

I think it happens a lot

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

I’d like to bet that 80% or more have felt lonely in a marriage at some point if they were aware that’s what they were feeling

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By *verageHoesCouple
10 weeks ago

Leeds

Yes, it happens. The sort of loneliness caused by emotional distance within a marriage/relationship is worse than being single IME.

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

I find when I feel lonely now much easier to deal with than I did when I was married.

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By *gent CoulsonMan
10 weeks ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I was, and I did, ended up walking away

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By *fweonlymeettwiceMan
10 weeks ago

Madrid

I feel like this at the moment, been married nearly 40 years, I can't bare the weekends at home, I took early retirement 5 year ago and have to returned to work through boredom and get out of her way

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By *ensual_KarmaMan
10 weeks ago

London

Yes sadly you can be married and lonely… when the connection isn’t there.

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By *eroLondonMan
10 weeks ago

Mayfair

There is no other feeling comparable to feeling alone in someone's company, to feel stifled, suffocated and zapped of all energy.

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By *heTattooedDomMan
10 weeks ago

Winnersh

To me a partner not allowing you to have friends is a red flag for a possible abusive / controlling relationship.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
10 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

I can totally uderstand why they want to meet others, being lonely in a marriage is the absolute worst, not just singles can feel lonely but also those who are married and have a partner.

What causes a lonley relationship? Could it be the lack of intimacy or incompatibility, or both of it?

What can be done in such a situation? I think that the best thing is to address it and talk about it to your partner and tell them how you feel, communication is the key.

Have you gone through the same thing, can you relate and felt lonely, what do you think is the best solution for this is, do you also agree that communication is the best thing in this situation?

I was very lonely towards the end of my marriage, it’s one of the very many reasons why I’m not married anymore. "
Hi flyingsolo, yes, you are right there, that is also a reason not to get married again too

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By *utterfly1983Woman
10 weeks ago

widnes

Kids, location, control.. there are so many factors the list could go on..

I found when I had my kids my friends suddenly disappeared.. they were all off clubbing etc and since I now had responsibilities.. well that was it..

I spent more and more time being with my ex husband thinking it was the right thing to do, didn’t go out during the day.. he was it for me.. I dedicated everything to my relationship.

Then they got a bit older and off to school, I started making new friends, got a part time job.. texts coming in before and after work. He’d moan when I wanted to go to soft play areas with them and the kids.. (how am I supposed to cheat lol).. anyway.. I dropped loads of weight due to an op.. like 3st.. and our relationship started getting worse. After another half year of still trying.. I’d be coming home to a peck on the cheek, then him on Xbox all night.. he’d gimme a kiss and roll over..

I was done..

He actually did accuse me of cheating 🤷🏻‍♀️

We’re still friends now (with a huge brick wall between us haha)..

But yeah.. lonely as fook..

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By *quirt CobainWoman
10 weeks ago

Lanarkshire

i think the most worrying part of this is the husband or wife doesnt allow them to meet anyone or have friends , thats coercive and controlling and that would be the sign to get out the relationship , I think loneliness in a marriage or partnership happens when communication breaks down or they stop caring . the only way to resolve the loneliness is to address the actual problems .. but as far as coercive control goes theres no fixing that other than to leave .

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By *hagTonight OP Man
10 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"Lots of people are lonely and married. It’s one of the worst kind of lonely because you can’t really crack on and do the things a single person does to stop yourself from being lonely.

You can also feel lonely when you’re out with friends or socialising sometimes just something is missing.

"
Yes, it is one of the worst kind of lonely too

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By *anchesterTaurusMan
10 weeks ago

Prestwich

Yes you can, once the communication drifts, then the physical stuff slows

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By *arlequin_tearsMan
10 weeks ago

Sheffield

It's entirely possible.

Hell, if you're going through something you can feel completely isolated and alone in a crowded room of your friends.

It can be communication, running on different schedules, being stressed out and skint, all.sorts of things.

My wife and I both have chronic health issues. At the moment they're going through a pile of additional health issues and it means we don't get time to talk and they don't want to be touched.

We're poly so can and do have other relationships. But there are times when we both feel isolated.

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By *ornym66Man
10 weeks ago

Col /ips

[Removed by poster at 22/05/25 11:56:17]

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By *r.EdibleMan
10 weeks ago

Fraserburgh

I was desperately lonely in a relationship that I was staying I just for the bairns. Horrible situation, thinking you're doing the best by staying for them when in fact all you're doing is driving yourself insane. I would come home from 3 weeks offshore and only speak to my ex in front of the bairns - it was far from healthy and very very lonely. It turns out the best thing to do sometimes is split up!

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By *ornym66Man
10 weeks ago

Col /ips

I'm in this situation with my partner of a lot of years we haven't had sex for 3 years now due to menopause & she said not interested in that if you wanna do it do it but don't want to know that's wot she told me

As we live separate lives separate sleeping aswell rooms we just live together but separate lives even watching the tv different rooms

We have discussed that I move out but weighing it up I can't afford it this does work so I just get on with it

I would like sex tho we all have needs

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By *rettCoolMan
10 weeks ago

Dunfermline

"I'm in this situation with my partner of a lot of years we haven't had sex for 3 years now due to menopause & she said not interested in that if you wanna do it do it but don't want to know that's wot she told me

As we live separate lives separate sleeping aswell rooms we just live together but separate lives even watching the tv different rooms

We have discussed that I move out but weighing it up I can't afford it this does work so I just get on with it

I would like sex tho we all have needs"

Am exactly the same as u m8

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By *aybeLadyWoman
10 weeks ago

West Dublin

Being incompatible.

I felt very lonely in my last relationship, in loads of ways.

You have certain expectations when in a relationship & when they dont materialise, its difficult. Thats why being by yourself is better IMO.

Sure, I'm lonely at times but prefer being single & lonely.

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By *ortyairCouple
10 weeks ago

Wallasey

I suspect it happens a lot, just tge same in lots of relationships that aren't working for each partner.

It must be very sad but luckily I've not been through this but I feel for those that do, everyone needs someone to turn to when they need to and if that's not there then that must be awful.

Mrs x

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

Oh complex question with many answers, hats off to all of you in happy well adjusted relationships

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By *hagTonight OP Man
10 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"I think it happens a lot "
Hi _reachersdaughter, yes. I also think it happens a lot too

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By *ustJ69Man
10 weeks ago

Warrington

Even more so in a sexless marriage, made worse by never meeting anyone on here either.

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By *om Guy caregiverMan
10 weeks ago

Greater Manchester

Its even worse after the death of a partner ar a very young age

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By *ittlebirdWoman
10 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

I’ve felt more alone in my marriages and recent other relationship than I’ve ever felt being single.

I’m working on that never happening again 👍🏻

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By *ollyPocket75Woman
10 weeks ago

Aberdeen

"I’ve felt more alone in my marriages and recent other relationship than I’ve ever felt being single.

I’m working on that never happening again 👍🏻"

Same, even now I'm questioning my life with a certain person.

I need to put myself first and move on.

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By *ornym66Man
10 weeks ago

Col /ips

"Even more so in a sexless marriage, made worse by never meeting anyone on here either."

Your so write it makes you feel worthless

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
10 weeks ago

In fair Verona.

In answer to the question - yes

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
10 weeks ago

Reading

There is no place lonelier than a failing marriage.

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By *avid 50Man
10 weeks ago

kendal

many wise words on here, this is the reason I joined Fab swingers not particularly to be having sex many partners but to chat and click with somebody in a similar position, I have been lucky and met a lady who is also lonely and feeling abandoned by her husband, we don't meet very often but we do frequently chat txt and share daily events, just somebody to talk to

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By *obilebottomMan
10 weeks ago

All over

A very sad thread in some way. Hopefully those feeling that can find a way forward

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By *mileyculturebelfastMan
10 weeks ago

belfast

Of course you can. Lots do.

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan
10 weeks ago

Manchester / Cardiff

"There is no place lonelier than a failing marriage. "

it doesn't even have to be failing. The (my) answer to the OP's question is yes.

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By *issmorganWoman
10 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Yes you can in any marriage or relationship.

You can be lonelier in company than you would be alone sometimes.

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By *ringItOnBaby!Man
10 weeks ago

Wigan

100%... in fact I think its probably worse as with it come a sense of feeling stuck or trapped and not having anyone to turn to.

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By *iss_Juicy79Woman
10 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Yes I was when I was married he stopped me from seeing a lot of my friends a d I wasn't allowed to go on nights out or even visit any friends so I was incredibly lonely and shut off

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By *en ItaliaWoman
10 weeks ago

your lap

Very much so. I was alienated from my family and friends when married . It happened so slowly, I didn’t realise. It’s a very lonely existence.

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By *aloma PicassoWoman
10 weeks ago

Waterford city

There was zero connection in the last few years of my marriage. I'm a much more content woman now that lm single.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
10 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"Kids, location, control.. there are so many factors the list could go on..

I found when I had my kids my friends suddenly disappeared.. they were all off clubbing etc and since I now had responsibilities.. well that was it..

I spent more and more time being with my ex husband thinking it was the right thing to do, didn’t go out during the day.. he was it for me.. I dedicated everything to my relationship.

I was done..

He actually did accuse me of cheating 🤷🏻‍♀️

We’re still friends now (with a huge brick wall between us haha)..

But yeah.. lonely as fook.. "
Hi butterfly, yes, you are right there, that there are many factors to it, that is good you are still friends too

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
10 weeks ago

Central

Definitely! People can be surrounded by others all the time and still be lonely. It's going to depend on their needs for connection and intimacy, which might not be fulfilled by the relationships they have

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By *entleman JayMan
10 weeks ago

Wakefield

Yes. I was.

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By *ellinever70Woman
10 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I wonder if it's sometimes down to someone's expectations of what a marriage ' should ' be

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By *hagTonight OP Man
10 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"Yes, it happens. The sort of loneliness caused by emotional distance within a marriage/relationship is worse than being single IME."
Hi averegehoes, yes, you are right there, it is caused by emotional distance within a marriage or a relationship too

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

Yes

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By *heating male185Man
10 weeks ago

Bolton

I'm in a 30 year relationship and I'm lonely

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By *hagTonight OP Man
10 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"To me a partner not allowing you to have friends is a red flag for a possible abusive / controlling relationship. "
Yes, it could possible be a red flag for that too

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By *utterfly manMan
10 weeks ago

Ringwood Hampshire

I would say..Yes, But not all the time…

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By *cLovin2Man
10 weeks ago

London

These things do happen, towards the end of my marriage a few years ago, I was very lonely too. I couldn't talk to my then wife.

She's a wonderful person, just not my cup of tea anymore. When you want different things in life, you need admit it and move on.

I feel for those who continue to put up a pretence and live unhappy miserable lives with people they don't love.

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By *sWyldWoman
10 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I've been lonely single but I was even more lonely when I was married to the wrong person

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By *ornyguyMan
10 weeks ago

Hillsborough, NI

I think another factor these days is that, perhaps before you might watch TV together at home, people now will often just be on their mobile phone so they're more interested in their phone than any joint activity at home.

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By *ariaxxxxCouple
10 weeks ago

Kent/London/Greater London

Yes you can definitely feel lonely in a marriage, for me the spark has totally gone also & it's so sad tbh,My spark for him disappeared for the way he treats me & I know this spark will never return.

I have told him he can seek 'fun' elsewhere but he won't do it. His sex drive was also way lower & he was very selfish in bed but that's another story 🤭

I am unfortunately no longer sexually attracted to him & I cannot have sex with someone if chemistry has disappeared.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
10 weeks ago

East Sussex

I see a lot of lonely married people in fab. They seem to be looking to alleviate the lack of emotional intimacy in their marriage by having sex with other people.

I wonder if a good proportion of the 'sexless' marriages and lonely spouses could be helped by establishing emotional intimacy with their partner

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By *adtaffladMan
10 weeks ago

Rhyl

"Yes you can definitely feel lonely in a marriage, for me the spark has totally gone also & it's so sad tbh,My spark for him disappeared for the way he treats me & I know this spark will never return.

I have told him he can seek 'fun' elsewhere but he won't do it. His sex drive was also way lower & he was very selfish in bed but that's another story 🤭

I am unfortunately no longer sexually attracted to him & I cannot have sex with someone if chemistry has disappeared."

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By *haron1701ETV/TS
10 weeks ago

Southport

Married and feeling very lonely? Yeah, been there. Actually made me very depressed when she starting being a horrible abusive narcissist.

Still feeling extremely depressed now (even though we're no longer together) to the point of making several very serious attempts to un-alive myself.

Slowly getting better but last 10+ years had been a living hell.

And... I shouldn't have starred typing this because now I feel awful again

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By *arlequin_tearsMan
10 weeks ago

Sheffield

"And... I shouldn't have starred typing this because now I feel awful again

You're healing, it can take time.

But now at least you can be your best you.

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By *occerstar579Man
10 weeks ago

Harrogate

But despite all this i woukd remarry again otherwise i see my first marriage as a failure oc mine also. Want to experience a happy sexual togetherness kinda marriage

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By *uttercupWoman
10 weeks ago

Borders

Been lonely in a marriage is brutal. A good marriage should never feel that way. No idea why I stayed as long as I did.

Now in a happy loving relationship, never a dull moment.

Better times do come around 😊

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By *occerstar579Man
10 weeks ago

Harrogate

Would love a Fab marriage!!

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By *rymedownunderMan
10 weeks ago

London/Australia

Loneliest I've ever been was when I was married

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By *xfordjohnMan
10 weeks ago

Oxford

I do agree that communication is best but in those circumstances, it's likely that communication has broken down. Maybe try counselling but if there's no communication, that's not likely to happen anyway. Time to get out, I reckon.

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

Short answer? Yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

The 100+ photos of his ex wife sleeping on the sofa and the constant complaints my former platonic male friend sent me, say yes a person can be married and lonely..

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By *enelope2UWoman
10 weeks ago

Doesn't matter cant block distances

Yes

Several on the site stay in that because it's a mutual benefit for them remaining..

Could never

Would never

Will never

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By *ikthegteekMan
10 weeks ago

Denbighshire

Yes very lonely you can grow apart and just ends up being staying in a dead relationship sexless and dull but it dosent mean you want to hurt them or leave them

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By *hagTonight OP Man
10 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"I see a lot of lonely married people in fab. They seem to be looking to alleviate the lack of emotional intimacy in their marriage by having sex with other people.

I wonder if a good proportion of the 'sexless' marriages and lonely spouses could be helped by establishing emotional intimacy with their partner"
Hi nicecouple, yes, you are right there, there are many of them here, yes, it seems to be the lack of emotional intimacy in their marriage, yes. I also think that by establishing emotional intimacy with their partner could help too

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By *obert 323Man
10 weeks ago

Hastings

I can totally uderstand why they want to meet others, being lonely in a marriage is the absolute worst, not just singles can feel lonely but also those who are married and have a partner.

What causes a lonley relationship? Could it be the lack of intimacy or incompatibility, or both of it?

What can be done in such a situation? I think that the best thing is to address it and talk about it to your partner and tell them how you feel, communication is the key.

Have you gone through the same thing, can you relate and felt lonely, what do you think is the best solution for this is, do you also agree that communication is the best thing in this situation?

It's the worst type of loneliness and there is only really one solution to it, the end of the marriage.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
9 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"There was zero connection in the last few years of my marriage. I'm a much more content woman now that lm single. "
Hi paloma, yes, connection is important, that is good you are more content now, that you are single too

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By *he OpalsnakeMan
9 weeks ago

Thirsk

For mine it was a case of both chasing our own goals. To the point we were living in two separate worlds. At first our weekends were reserved just for us but our careers just started to bleed in and take over. We were closer to our work families by the end and though we both ended up successful, the relationship was the sacrifice. We're still close, even hook up occasionally. Just ended up on different paths and different times. And yeah it was lonely, barely home together. Communicating by notes and text messages. Unsustainable in the end.

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By *alm_one4Man
9 weeks ago

RM16

Yes, and in the last couple of years, I did.

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By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

I was terribly lonely when married. So after 10 miserable years I ended it.

Now I am happily solo by choice but never lonely.

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By *adtaffladMan
9 weeks ago

Rhyl

Yes you can be unbelievably lonely. You just feel like you are there to pay the bills

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