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Slow burner or not.

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By *eli OP   Woman
7 weeks ago

.

I've been thinking about how long it takes me (generally) to be attracted to someone. How attraction works for me.

When it comes to messaging and then meeting someone, are you quite quick to get to in person interaction? And fancy them, get to fucking etc.

Would you meet people with the opposite approach to yours?

(So many questions, how awful of me)

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By *oldyoudown41Man
7 weeks ago

Oxfordshire

I’m quick to tie down a date, either a coffee or getting jiggy… don’t want to drag it on for weeks and months as I’d like to find a regular and start having fun ..

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By *isskxxyvWoman
7 weeks ago

Reading


"I've been thinking about how long it takes me (generally) to be attracted to someone. How attraction works for me.

When it comes to messaging and then meeting someone, are you quite quick to get to in person interaction? And fancy them, get to fucking etc.

Would you meet people with the opposite approach to yours?

(So many questions, how awful of me)"

For me OP, it completely depends on the person. I’ve had it take weeks to gel with someone, then another they ‘just got me’ within a couple of days!

I think slow burners that lead to undeniable chemistry ultimately are the most fun🔥

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By *eli OP   Woman
7 weeks ago

.


"I’m quick to tie down a date, either a coffee or getting jiggy… don’t want to drag it on for weeks and months as I’d like to find a regular and start having fun .."

That's fair enough, you're actively searching for something and don't have the desire to "waste" time.

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By *sStephenPickleMan
7 weeks ago

Ends

I don’t mind a slow burn if we’re tryna build. If we’re not and it’s a more casual, fwb or even fb situation I’d avoid slow burners. Months of building and then they decide they don’t even like you back? Or that they like you just not enough to prioritise finding time for you? I have to respect myself.

If we’re dating then of course it can be quite a few dates before we’re ready to commit to moving to intimacy and then relationship but generally I tend to have dates with people closer to home so they’re easier to plan frequently.

I think slow burns are great but they’re not usually for me and I’m no longer doing them. I would like someone to be sure about me for once.

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By *oldyoudown41Man
7 weeks ago

Oxfordshire


"I’m quick to tie down a date, either a coffee or getting jiggy… don’t want to drag it on for weeks and months as I’d like to find a regular and start having fun ..

That's fair enough, you're actively searching for something and don't have the desire to "waste" time. "

Exactly

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
7 weeks ago

Reading

It definitely depends on the other person. I feel like generally I'm a slow burn but sometimes people barrel past things and we do meet up sooner. Sometimes those work and sometimes they don't Same as the ones where it's taken awhile to meet up. Higher success rate but heavier fall if it doesn't work out.

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By *oeBeansMan
7 weeks ago

Derby

I prefer to try and match their energy. If they're a slow burn type of person then I'm happy to message and chat and if it comes to anything, then great! Although I do expect it may fizzle out if it goes on too long just due to the nature of the site. I'm also happy to meet up straight away if the initial chemistry is there and see where it goes.

Essentially, that was the long version of saying "it depends" 😅

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By *eli OP   Woman
7 weeks ago

.


"For me OP, it completely depends on the person. I’ve had it take weeks to gel with someone, then another they ‘just got me’ within a couple of days!

I think slow burners that lead to undeniable chemistry ultimately are the most fun🔥 "

It's not about gelling with people... if you didn’t gel with someone why would you spend months talking to them?

I think of it more like Person A spends a year talking to someone, no sex talk straight away etc. They're friends. After time they fuck.

Person B, a few weeks, sex talk early days, person is best fuck ever. Few weeks later, new person.

These are deliberate extreme examples to get the question across more clearly.

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By *veragecouple2000Couple
7 weeks ago

South Wales

It differs from person to person…..some I’ve been chatting to for a long time and never met and then sometimes it can happen within a few weeks and on the odd occasions a few days. Sometimes you just get a good feeling and make things happen xx

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By *eli OP   Woman
7 weeks ago

.


"I don’t mind a slow burn if we’re tryna build. If we’re not and it’s a more casual, fwb or even fb situation I’d avoid slow burners. Months of building and then they decide they don’t even like you back? Or that they like you just not enough to prioritise finding time for you? I have to respect myself.

If we’re dating then of course it can be quite a few dates before we’re ready to commit to moving to intimacy and then relationship but generally I tend to have dates with people closer to home so they’re easier to plan frequently.

I think slow burns are great but they’re not usually for me and I’m no longer doing them. I would like someone to be sure about me for once. "

So you think slow burns mean someone isn't sure about you?

What if they were in time but their attraction doesn't work in the same way as yours... not sure what the opposite of slow burn (term wise) but I'd say that's you.

I do think if someone likes you they find the time. Maybe not instantly but it exists.

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By *sStephenPickleMan
7 weeks ago

Ends


"I don’t mind a slow burn if we’re tryna build. If we’re not and it’s a more casual, fwb or even fb situation I’d avoid slow burners. Months of building and then they decide they don’t even like you back? Or that they like you just not enough to prioritise finding time for you? I have to respect myself.

If we’re dating then of course it can be quite a few dates before we’re ready to commit to moving to intimacy and then relationship but generally I tend to have dates with people closer to home so they’re easier to plan frequently.

I think slow burns are great but they’re not usually for me and I’m no longer doing them. I would like someone to be sure about me for once.

So you think slow burns mean someone isn't sure about you?

What if they were in time but their attraction doesn't work in the same way as yours... not sure what the opposite of slow burn (term wise) but I'd say that's you.

I do think if someone likes you they find the time. Maybe not instantly but it exists."

I do believe it means they’re not sure about you. About something about you. And that’s ok. Like I said when I’m dating someone there’s lots I need to be sure about before knowing that I like someone and want to be intimate with them. It might be physical attraction, it might be the values we have, it might be our lifestyles. I enjoy dating and building.

If it’s clearly not dating for a relationship though, I prefer people who are more sure in their attraction to me and that they at least want to spend time in my company. I’m deeper than I think I often come across on here. I like sex and I enjoy casual sex. But I like deep built up connections too.

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By *electableicecreamMan
7 weeks ago

The West

At this point in my life my choices would lead me to believe that I burn hot and fast. Yet contrary to the choices A or B above I still prefer to see a person in the long term.

I simply don't have the spoons to engage in long-term messaging with someone I'm not already sure I'm deeply attracted to. Conversely I can imagine circumstances where if I was hanging out with someone in person I would be patient and see what grows there over time if friendship feels easy.

Attraction happens quickly for me. I fell in love at first site with someone once and it was the greatest romance of my life.

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By *oomerangboyMan
7 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Sounds cheesy but I love to get inside their head first, see what makes them tick, I often fancy the personality more so than the looks, although we all love eye candy, but attraction for me is the whole package x

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By *dalisqueWoman
7 weeks ago

land of make believe

For me the time span is usually because of the logistics of meeting rather than the desire to do so,although some people start as friends & the slow rumble of an attraction starts.

I really enjoy the the emotion evoked whilst getting to know someone,excited calls & messages,finding them poping into your head is pure delight to me & can be totally intoxicating & only adds to the occasion when we finally do meet.

🩵

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
7 weeks ago

The Velvet Den of Desire

If it takes to long to set a date with me, I start to imagine they’re not interested. And then my energy will disperse.

It’s just the way it is.

I can stay attracted to someone, but I’m keen on meeting up and fueling that spark we started.

Why can’t they meet?

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By *gent CoulsonMan
7 weeks ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I'd like to get to know someone on here first, but if the chemistry clicks within the first few messages, then I see no reason why we cant move to more physical interaction

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