FabSwingers.com forum: Are you able to accept responsibility?

By *sStephenPickle OP Man
12 weeks ago

Ends

For how you make others feel? And accept the way they feel?

Or do they always tend to be in the wrong in your head?

#reflection

I’m feeling really reflective today

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

I accept I'm a complicated shitbag.

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By *sStephenPickle OP Man
12 weeks ago

Ends

"I accept I'm a complicated shitbag. "

You’re something

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
12 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…

I’m very anti-responsibility

I don’t even own plants

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By *ellhungvweMan
12 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I am with the stoics - you cannot be responsible for someone else’s emotions, you can only control how you respond.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
12 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Looking fucking good Pickle 💚

Uh, I think I'm okay at accepting blame. If anything I'm too willing to accept blame to avoid the person who is more likely in the wrong from feeling bad about it.

Still working hard on fixing those people pleasing and manic pixie dream girl traits you know 💜

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By *sWyldWoman
12 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Yea. Sometimes I even take on blame too easily

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By *hortieWoman
12 weeks ago

Northampton

I can't be responsible for the way others interpret my words.. it's always so much easier in person than online - here in particular, when you can be struck down with the push of a block button.

Once people meet me and realise, yes I am actually a horny sarcastic cunt, it usually turns out pretty well!

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By *sStephenPickle OP Man
12 weeks ago

Ends

"I’m very anti-responsibility

I don’t even own plants

Since becoming a Dad I am always trying to see myself as at fault. But this year I’m trying to stand up for myself and set boundaries more. Which means some people won’t walk over me. I still accept I’m not great to them but I am able to set the boundary and say- actually this is enough.

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By *sStephenPickle OP Man
12 weeks ago

Ends

"I can't be responsible for the way others interpret my words.. it's always so much easier in person than online - here in particular, when you can be struck down with the push of a block button.

Once people meet me and realise, yes I am actually a horny sarcastic cunt, it usually turns out pretty well! "

Nice

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
12 weeks ago

Den of Iniquity

"I can't be responsible for the way others interpret my words.. it's always so much easier in person than online - here in particular, when you can be struck down with the push of a block button.

Once people meet me and realise, yes I am actually a horny sarcastic cunt, it usually turns out pretty well! "

Horny Sarcastic Cunt .. I couldn't have put it better myself 😂😂

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By *ea monkeyMan
12 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

It depends on how I’m making them feel…

If I’ve done something wrong and it’s impacted them then yes I take responsibility and accept my accountability in that.

If people are pissed off for me being me, that’s not my issue

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By *avenNightsMan
12 weeks ago

Canvey Island

If I’ve done something wrong, I’ll fully admit responsibility and take accountability for my actions.

If I haven’t, I’m not going to fight it, I’m just going to walk away.

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

"It depends on how I’m making them feel…

If I’ve done something wrong and it’s impacted them then yes I take responsibility and accept my accountability in that.

If people are pissed off for me being me, that’s not my issue"

I agree along the lines of this.

It really depends on your actions. I think if you're just setting your boundaries and your actions aren't wrong then you can't take accountability. However if you're actions are intended or sometimes not even intended to impact that other person then you should take accountability.

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By *lderflower_AppleWoman
12 weeks ago

Basingstoke

"For how you make others feel? And accept the way they feel?

Or do they always tend to be in the wrong in your head?

#reflection

I’m feeling really reflective today

I accept that my actions and words have an impact on how someone feels and reacts. I do not accept responsibility for the way they react - only their own emotional maturity can control their own emotions and how they chose to react.

That said, if I have clearly done something wrong, which has caused a negative impact, I will absolutely own that and will do my best to put things right in the most appropriate way.

I'm a big believer that everyone has a responsibility to recognise the legitimacy of other people's feelings, but at the same time we should all know that we chose how to react, and should make the correct decision over our reactions.

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By *verageHoesCouple
12 weeks ago

Leeds

This can be a tricky one. We are responsible for what we say and do, how tactful we choose to be etc. but not for how others receive it. Saying that, if an off the cuff remark lands badly because the full context hasn't been presented, or wasn't delivered thoughtfully, others are responsible for their own reactions, but not for reading your mind.

I guess I'm leaning more towards it being a shared effort. If I say something that sounds insensitive, it's their responsibility to check what I meant before reacting, and it's my responsibility to acknowledge how what I said could have sounded bad. Maybe.

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By *verageHoesCouple
12 weeks ago

Leeds

And now I realise that I've just said the same thing as Elderflower

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By *hortieWoman
12 weeks ago

Northampton

"I can't be responsible for the way others interpret my words.. it's always so much easier in person than online - here in particular, when you can be struck down with the push of a block button.

Once people meet me and realise, yes I am actually a horny sarcastic cunt, it usually turns out pretty well!

Horny Sarcastic Cunt .. I couldn't have put it better myself 😂😂"

Now... Which one do I bring out to play tonight

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
12 weeks ago

In fair Verona.

I make others feel great.

If any sexy women want proof, call me, and I’ll accept responsibility. 😏

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By *sStephenPickle OP Man
12 weeks ago

Ends

"I accept that my actions and words have an impact on how someone feels and reacts. I do not accept responsibility for the way they react - only their own emotional maturity can control their own emotions and how they chose to react.

That said, if I have clearly done something wrong, which has caused a negative impact, I will absolutely own that and will do my best to put things right in the most appropriate way.

I think it’s fair to expect people to respond in a reasonable way and I would define reasonable as not violently, not aggressively and not abusive.

If my words upset someone whether I intend them to or not, I’m able to accept the way it made them feel and apologise for that. I think people can react by asking for space or deciding not to respond or asking for an apology after explaining how it may have caused upset or offence. I think those are reasonable and I’d be fine with those responses nowadays. I think though, too often we live in a ‘I didn’t mean to upset you or offend you so you need to get over yourself/ grow up’ and I think I just wish we were not like that.

Recently a friend didn’t talk to me for a while after I’d upset her and we discussed how both her reaction and my actions had made one another feel and we apologised to one another and went for a yummy Nando’s and catch up.

Idk what I’m saying but I’m full of hope with this thread.

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By *sStephenPickle OP Man
12 weeks ago

Ends

I guess I say this because recently, in lots of contexts, I’ve learned that people are more upset with being labelled as offensive or being told they’ve upset someone etc than actually understanding how or why and being able to apologise.

I think sometimes we feel that we are good and we care so much about people knowing that we are. ‘Oh but I’m not like that/ oh but I didn’t mean it like that’ as opposed to ‘I’m so sorry, that wasn’t my intention but I hear you and I’m sorry’ or something like that

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By *exxyyDy11Man
12 weeks ago

North West

Lately I've done a lot of introspection in myself, so yes I can accept responsibility for a lot of stuff. I think at times, I've been too empathetic towards people and been tougher on myself. I'm changing that though.

I was in a tough place recently mentally, I realised that there are differences between true friends and real so called friends. The so called friends, I've always reached out when they've been feeling low mentally, yet they never returned the favour with me. So I've got rid of them in my life. I don't need them.

The genuine friends have created a new sense of hope and strength in me.

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By *ysteryman6998Man
12 weeks ago

essex

Let me ask some people what they think. Hold on a sec…

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By *hortieWoman
12 weeks ago

Northampton

"I guess I say this because recently, in lots of contexts, I’ve learned that people are more upset with being labelled as offensive or being told they’ve upset someone etc than actually understanding how or why and being able to apologise.

I make it my business to be offensive.

I do not have any time to pander to namby pamby bullshit.

But I'm just one of those you come to if you want a reality check. Tea and sympathy ? Nah not here.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
12 weeks ago

Den of Iniquity

"I can't be responsible for the way others interpret my words.. it's always so much easier in person than online - here in particular, when you can be struck down with the push of a block button.

Once people meet me and realise, yes I am actually a horny sarcastic cunt, it usually turns out pretty well!

Horny Sarcastic Cunt .. I couldn't have put it better myself 😂😂

Now... Which one do I bring out to play tonight "

😆😆😆😆

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By *tormidaysWoman
12 weeks ago

Manchester

That said, if I have clearly done something wrong, which has caused a negative impact, I will absolutely own that and will do my best to put things right in the most appropriate way.

I think it’s fair to expect people to respond in a reasonable way and I would define reasonable as not violently, not aggressively and not abusive.

Idk what I’m saying but I’m full of hope with this thread. "

Lovely you have been able to talk and make up 🥰

I always try and understand when I've hurt someone, even if it's not intentional I've clearly caused them pain if they need to bring it to me.

In my younger days I was always very defensive...I guess age and experience does have some advantages 😁

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By *ad NannaWoman
12 weeks ago

East London

I can understand that what I say may upset someone.

I can't control what upsets them or why they get upset.

Some people, like myself, aren't easily offended and rarely become upset about what others say.

I probably become more angry than upset, but that is mostly about social injustices, not what's aimed at me personally.

If I knew something I said would upset someone or trigger bad emotions I'd keep my mouth shut, but, if I was finding myself constantly reining myself in in case they became upset I'd probably distance myself from them.

I can't be around sensitive people for long periods. The vibe affects me.

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By *ad NannaWoman
12 weeks ago

East London

If someone said to me that upset/s me I'd come over all analytical and want to know why, and if there's anything I can do to help.

Even when I know they have professional help, I want to try to help them.

As someone who isn't easily offended and can take a lot of verbal abuse I can still empathise with people who are the opposite.

I want to take some of the hurt away.

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By *hortieWoman
12 weeks ago

Northampton

"I can understand that what I say may upset someone.

I can't control what upsets them or why they get upset.

Some people, like myself, aren't easily offended and rarely become upset about what others say.

I probably become more angry than upset, but that is mostly about social injustices, not what's aimed at me personally.

I can't be around sensitive people for long periods. The vibe affects me."

Perfectly fucking put.

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By *hortieWoman
12 weeks ago

Northampton

"If someone said to me that upset/s me I'd come over all analytical and want to know why, and if there's anything I can do to help.

Even when I know they have professional help, I want to try to help them.

As someone who isn't easily offended and can take a lot of verbal abuse I can still empathise with people who are the opposite.

I want to take some of the hurt away. "

Oh God no, I ain't got time in my life left for that noise!!

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By *ad NannaWoman
12 weeks ago

East London

"If someone said to me that upset/s me I'd come over all analytical and want to know why, and if there's anything I can do to help.

Even when I know they have professional help, I want to try to help them.

As someone who isn't easily offended and can take a lot of verbal abuse I can still empathise with people who are the opposite.

I want to take some of the hurt away.

Oh God no, I ain't got time in my life left for that noise!! "

To be fair, I don't socialise much

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
12 weeks ago

North West

Yes. When my actions, behaviour or failure to communicate properly have hurt someone else then damn right I'm accepting that responsibility and acknowledging their right to their feelings and my part in it. I'm not talking about misunderstandings or a different interpretation of what happened/should happen. I mean if I'm at fault, then damn right I'm owning it.

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By *adyBugsWoman
12 weeks ago

cognito

No. How people respond to my behaviour is not my responsibility. I make effort to act with honesty and integrity and rarely speak before thoroughly thinking first. I never have intentions to make someone feel anything, how they interpret my words or actions is on them.

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By *uteinasuitMan
12 weeks ago

Herts

If I've been a dick I own up to it. Have no time for narcs

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By *midnight-Woman
12 weeks ago

...

Yes definitely.... But I sometimes need to let the red mist clear

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
12 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

I certainly do accept responsibility if I've fucked up

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By *cunthorpe123Couple
12 weeks ago

scunthorpe

Absolutely! If I’m in the wrong, once I realise or cool down I will absolutely hold my hands up.

Even if I’ve overreacted with one of my kids, I will apologise.

If I’m wrong, I don’t see myself as blameless and will act accordingly.

Donna

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan
12 weeks ago

Manchester / Cardiff

A long time ago, the old me if I upset someone, would go into, "ah that's not what I meant" and such Bullshit. But I had it pointed out to me that doesn't diminish how my original statement made them feel, and my attempts to talk my way out of the fact I'd upset them, dismisses their feelings. I felt awful for that.

So now yes, I own it and apologise for my words making them feel the way they did, regardless of the intentions of whatever it was I'd said.

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By *cunthorpe123Couple
12 weeks ago

scunthorpe

"A long time ago, the old me if I upset someone, would go into, "ah that's not what I meant" and such Bullshit. But I had it pointed out to me that doesn't diminish how my original statement made them feel, and my attempts to talk my way out of the fact I'd upset them, dismisses their feelings. I felt awful for that.

So now yes, I own it and apologise for my words making them feel the way they did, regardless of the intentions of whatever it was I'd said."

That’s a good way of wording it, I will often say that I’m sorry for the delivery but I stand by my words

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By *enelope2UWoman
12 weeks ago

Doesn't matter cant block distances

I accept what I do and say I won't and don't accept how someone else takes or feels about it. I speak deliberately and mean what I say so if someone else assumes or twists it to fit their own narrative no..I don't and won't accept it...

If someone is honest enough to ask for clarity to understand where or why I've said it...then I'll provide it in smaller chunks for them to understand my words or intentions/purpose of the words..

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By *ittlebirdWoman
12 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"For how you make others feel? And accept the way they feel?

Or do they always tend to be in the wrong in your head?

#reflection

I’m feeling really reflective today

Yes. I always do….

Sometimes too much as it’s at my own expense

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By *heGateKeeperMan
12 weeks ago

Stratford

I can accept they might have a reaction or emotional response, and unless my actions intended to invoke said response it’s hard place full accountability on my shoulders.

I try to be more understanding than I have been in the past but it is what it is sometimes

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