FabSwingers.com forum: Mental stimulation, "meets" and stuff.

By *eli OP Woman
12 weeks ago

Is mental stimulation an important part of meeting someone from Fab for you?

What does it mean to you? Is it another word for flirting?

If it is important to you, would you have sex when it's been somewhat missing? Hope the physical proximity is enough to get the juices flowing?

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By *liceDarkTV/TS
12 weeks ago

Worksop

It's not too much ask to find someone desirable, and them to have something upstairs?

Imagination at least.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
12 weeks ago

Reading

When things just click with a person and you feel you could talk to them for hours. Fantastic feeling.

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By *arkRichMan
12 weeks ago

Manchester City Centre

Yeah… either sitting together in the flat and chatting, over a drink or some food… lots of eye contact, touching, and flirting… or going for a coffee, drink, walk etc.

Teasing, playing a game… get the wrong answer, do a naughty forfeit… take of an item of clothes… etc.

Just anything that builds up the sexual tension - It’s an energy, like pre drinks for a night out, or warming up before a match…

I feel like people who don’t wanna do this, are missing out… also… foreplay… take ya time… 30mins foreplay and 15mins sex can be way better than 45mins sex - obviously I last much longer

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By *inky MelissaTV/TS
12 weeks ago

Aberdeen

It's massive for me. The person(s) could be physically my type in every way but if they don't fire my brain, they're [politely] fired.

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By *arnelianWoman
12 weeks ago

Ely, Cambridgeshire (moved here April '25)

I need mental stimulation more than sexual. Engage in conversation about things other than sex. Be interesting and interested in me. You have no chance of getting me naked if there's no mental stimulation.

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By *hare2CareCouple
12 weeks ago

Leicestershire

We’re probably more interested in that and a pretty face than we are in figure or cock size or anything like that. We’d want to meet someone we could be friends with, even if we’re not looking for a new friend, if that makes sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

Mental stimulation is key for me.

I don’t really want to sit on anyone who doesn’t ‘get’ me and match me mentally.

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By *urry BlokeMan
12 weeks ago

It's a tough one for me Meli

With men, it's purely about physical attraction

With women, there has to be that and something more

Therein lies the problem

If I get too familiar with a woman, the sex will never happen

I have met some women who I have absolutely fancied the pants off but never made a move on because mentally my mind had flipped them into the dreaded friend zone

I need a nice social or two and then to literally be jumped on

... I am fully aware that for a lot of women, the seduction / sexual initiation should come from me - not the other way round

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By *lyingsolo1000Woman
12 weeks ago

Reading

It depends for me. If I’m at a club and just looking for something immediate, the mental connection isn’t as important and as long as they aren’t rude, I’ll go with it.

But, my connections outside of that environment are much more about the mental stimulation. I want to be able to hold a conversation with the person and enjoy their company.

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By *ouble-SidedCouple
12 weeks ago

Voldsøy

It's important to me. I couldn't think of anything worse than not being able to comfortably chat shit with someone I'm meeting up with.

I love listening to people, and I do love a waffle with a fellow waffler.

If it's missing, there's not gonna be a spark for the physical either.

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By *eli OP Woman
12 weeks ago

"It's not too much ask to find someone desirable, and them to have something upstairs?

Imagination at least."

No, no it's not. They exist. Somewhere.

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By *eli OP Woman
12 weeks ago

"When things just click with a person and you feel you could talk to them for hours. Fantastic feeling. "

I don't want to ever thumbs up a reply but... yes, I like this definition.

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By *ellinever70Woman
12 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I see it as just another fab term ...a euphemism for talk dirty to me?

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By *inky MelissaTV/TS
12 weeks ago

Aberdeen

I'm sorry, I missed that it was a 3 part question.

The last question around whether we could put aside the lack of spark and go through motions to see if it got better. I've done it probably more times than I realise. It has mostly gone no further than the kissing stage. Some we have had a reasonably enjoyable session. So reasonable that further communication goes no further than the "hope you got home safe" messages.

If I'm at a club I will much prefer some interactions with people I want to play with before the sex, than the small talk afterwards. Where often in the post play conversations, ideas for future adventures pop up.

So environment dependent, going straight to sex without mental stimulation can work for me, it’s just not what gives me the pleasure of great sex

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By *sStephenPickleMan
12 weeks ago

Ends

I tend to prefer people I connect with mentally rather than just physically. I love deep sociological discussions with people well read on it and I love all that shit that everyone is so pretentious about. But to be honest if they are enjoy similar things to me culturally and they make an effort to be funny and to watch TikToks, we’re going to have a great connection.

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By *VineMan
12 weeks ago

Just north of Bristol

A meet is so much better when there’s a connection. I love the pillow talk between rounds. If that feels easy and there’s laughter then the memories of the meeting will endure.

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By *ilverFoxOralLoverMan
12 weeks ago

Where ever I lay my hat

It may not apply for all guys, but for me mental stimulation is crucial. I want good conversation and a fertile imagination.

Just viewed your profile Meli and I could listen to your voice forever 😀

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By *sWyldWoman
12 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I want undeniable chemistry. I need someone who makes me want to talk to them. I love learning about people, seeing what they are passionate about and I need someone who can hold my attention.

I can get bored easily!

Ideally someone who can make me smile , make me laugh and make me think as well as well as make me cum.

It's a rare combination at times

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By *olyGlamorousWoman
12 weeks ago

Altrincham

Because I'm not doing 'this' to find a life partner, as long as I like them, they like me and we have a laugh, that'll do, after all we're both there for the same reason 😉

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

I think I'd widen that circle out to just a general connection, which sometimes is hard to describe.

It could be mental stimulation, similar humour/interests, or even just the same energy. But I'd definitely need "something" between us for me to want to sleep with them - impersonal sex doesn't do it for me. Might as well have a wank.

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By *orbidden eastMan
12 weeks ago

london dodging electric bikes

"Because I'm not doing 'this' to find a life partner, as long as I like them, they like me and we have a laugh, that'll do, after all we're both there for the same reason 😉 "

Exactly this

And it makes things go much more smoother

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By *sWyldWoman
12 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Heard the funniest line yesterday and I think it sums this up..

Some don't flirt, they just comit social crimes with confidence

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
12 weeks ago

In fair Verona.

I’m not sure I’d meet anyone I’m not excited about, and that starts with a spark of something.

Otherwise, there’s other ways to meet people just for sex.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
12 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

Not sure if it’s different for every couple or not. Most couples already have a fantastic sex life between themselves so for us, we need something extra than just a cock or a hole.

We need to be stimulated mentally and that all 3/4 of us are having a good experience. We also need a good connection. We’ve tried fuck and go’s and they haven’t fulfilled us.

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
12 weeks ago

In fair Verona.

"We’ve tried fuck and go’s and they haven’t fulfilled us.

This would make a great slogan t-shirt for a group social.

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By *olyGlamorousWoman
12 weeks ago

Altrincham

"Because I'm not doing 'this' to find a life partner, as long as I like them, they like me and we have a laugh, that'll do, after all we're both there for the same reason 😉

Exactly this

And it makes things go much more smoother

Definitely and repeat meets are so much better 😈

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By *tormidaysWoman
12 weeks ago

Manchester

Despite my best efforts I just can't do "the sex" without a connection of some sort😝

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By *olyGlamorousWoman
12 weeks ago

Altrincham

"I’m not sure I’d meet anyone I’m not excited about, and that starts with a spark of something.

Otherwise, there’s other ways to meet people just for sex. "

I couldn't do 'this' *waves arms about* without being attracted to the person.

At the end of the day I'm a wife, a mum, a friend and I also want to be able to look myself in the eye

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By *olyGlamorousWoman
12 weeks ago

Altrincham

"Despite my best efforts I just can't do "the sex" without a connection of some sort😝"

Exactly this! 😍

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By *oeBeansMan
12 weeks ago

Derby

I think people only allow others to mentally stimulate them if the initial physical attraction is there and I think it's one of those overused phrases that literally means "message in full sentences and ask me stuff about things other than sex once in a while". I think it's very easy to mentally stimulate someone but the nature of the site means people don't realise that.

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By *ife NinjaMan
12 weeks ago

Dunfermline

There has to be some conversation. Robotic sex don't cut it for me 🤓

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By *electableicecreamMan
12 weeks ago

The West

When I leave a first date is the way they were, not the way they looked, that leaves an impression on me. When I want more of that stimulation that makes me tingle and giddy that's when I know I want to jump their bones.

Physical attraction is important to me. I do need to be turned on by what my eyes can see but it all comes to naught if mind isn't on fire for them too.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
12 weeks ago

Okehampton

Whilst there are many physically attractive people on fab and I’d like to say, that’s all it takes, I can only really get it on with people I am mentally stimulated by these days, when I was younger, physical stimulation was key but I’ve changed and enjoy the laughter and the meeting of minds

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By *ad NannaWoman
12 weeks ago

East London

I don't want serious, in depth conversation or anything political.

Light conversation is preferable for me, but it has to be stimulating.

If it's all sex talk my brain will switch off.

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By *eroLondonMan
12 weeks ago

Covent Garden

If I don't have the mental stimulation then it's already a forgone conclusion I won't be meeting that person. I've previously said that I'm a slow burn on here - and that is attributed, partly, in protracted mental stimulation through engaging conversation. Engaging conversation based on substance and not superficiality, conversations that are not just talking about the weather but also our sexualities, our desires and the frisson.

Perhaps that's one of the reasons why I don't do sex parties, spas and clubs because those environments solely offer physical proximity of attraction and the subsequent 'quick fix'.

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By *emorefridaCouple
12 weeks ago

La la land

If I'm not mentally stimulated even the most beautiful of people become uninteresting to me. And it needs to be non sexual mental stimulation. Which does narrow my pool of people considerably, but I'm good with that. there are people here who fit the bill, amazing the varied types of conversations you can have here.

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

"I don't want serious, in depth conversation or anything political.

Light conversation is preferable for me, but it has to be stimulating.

If it's all sex talk my brain will switch off.

I want to make love to your shit box and cream on your toes.

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By *ostindreamsMan
12 weeks ago

London

[Removed by poster at 17/05/25 19:27:55]

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By *ostindreamsMan
12 weeks ago

London

It's the most important thing in the meet for me. We need to have some topic to talk about. As someone who loves the post sex pillow talk, it would be so awkward if we don't have the mental connection

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By *eyond PurityCouple
12 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

I definitely have sapiosexual triggers. Stimulate my mind, or fall into oblivion.

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