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One for the ladies.. do we ever stop wanting the bad ones?

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By *isskxxyv OP   Woman
10 weeks ago

Reading

Asking for a mate..🙄🙄🤣

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By *sStephenPickleMan
10 weeks ago

Ends

I remember when she didn't wanna add me

'Cause she wanted to fuck with a bad breed

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
10 weeks ago

North West

I've never wanted the bad ones. Decent human being every time please.

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By *sStephenPickleMan
10 weeks ago

Ends

I’m sure the desire to choose better partners comes from within though. A moment when you want better for yourself and not just for the partners you’re choosing.

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
10 weeks ago

Reading

Ooh, how are we defining bad ones?

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By *mmaleiaWoman
10 weeks ago

Trowbridge

Yes, they get boring after you’ve reached 30-35, that’s why they like them young

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By *isskxxyv OP   Woman
10 weeks ago

Reading


"Ooh, how are we defining bad ones?"

I define them as exciting, I don’t do nice. Then wonder why I’m always hurt 🤣 I’m not talking he sells and gets arrested..🤣

More bad as in.. not good for you!

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By *isskxxyv OP   Woman
10 weeks ago

Reading


"Yes, they get boring after you’ve reached 30-35, that’s why they like them young"

My aunties in her 50s and still will only go for these types of men, not sure it’s an accurate representation 🤣🤣

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
10 weeks ago

Reading


"Ooh, how are we defining bad ones?

I define them as exciting, I don’t do nice. Then wonder why I’m always hurt 🤣 I’m not talking he sells and gets arrested..🤣

More bad as in.. not good for you!"

Nice is like, my standard default in who I'm attracted to. Kindness in another person? Drool emoji.

That said, I'm constantly falling for the people who are not good for me. It's a toxic attachment routine based on my own history and I'm currently working on making better decisions and boundaries.

If you want better for yourself you can absolutely have that. You deserve it. Or your friend does

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
10 weeks ago

North West


"Ooh, how are we defining bad ones?

I define them as exciting, I don’t do nice. Then wonder why I’m always hurt 🤣 I’m not talking he sells c0ke and gets arrested..🤣

More bad as in.. not good for you!"

Honestly, I've never wanted exciting either. Nice and sexy aren't mutually exclusive. Nice doesn't mean doormat. I like niceness when it's real, not to win brownie points.

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By *isskxxyv OP   Woman
10 weeks ago

Reading


"Ooh, how are we defining bad ones?

I define them as exciting, I don’t do nice. Then wonder why I’m always hurt 🤣 I’m not talking he sells and gets arrested..🤣

More bad as in.. not good for you!

Nice is like, my standard default in who I'm attracted to. Kindness in another person? Drool emoji.

That said, I'm constantly falling for the people who are not good for me. It's a toxic attachment routine based on my own history and I'm currently working on making better decisions and boundaries.

If you want better for yourself you can absolutely have that. You deserve it. Or your friend does "

I think my friend the problem🤣!

She could have a nice man; but they don’t excite her.🤣

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By *isskxxyv OP   Woman
10 weeks ago

Reading

I’m also going to point that it’s not always to do with emotional intelligence, life experience and age.

Patronising isn’t required here 🤭 some people are incredibly self aware of their behaviours and what they attract, they just do it anyway😏

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By *sStephenPickleMan
10 weeks ago

Ends


"I’m also going to point that it’s not always to do with emotional intelligence, life experience and age.

Patronising isn’t required here 🤭 some people are incredibly self aware of their behaviours and what they attract, they just do it anyway😏 "

Age is the reason for everything on fab.

Got a problem? It’ll pass when you get older.

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By *ortney FoxxxWoman
10 weeks ago

honeysuckle lane

I do think you get to a point in your life where you don’t & your far more cautious about a person that’s where I am in my life anyway

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By *odgerMooreMan
10 weeks ago

Rummage Up The Jumper


"Yes, they get boring after you’ve reached 30-35, that’s why they like them young"

I don’t know if being boring is age related… i think it’s a state of mind… some think they have to settle down and be responsible - potentially boring some think they have to constantly be striving for change - chaotic and also in a way boring… stability with unpredictability… maybe the best option? Xx

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
10 weeks ago

Reading


"

I think my friend the problem🤣!

She could have a nice man; but they don’t excite her.🤣"

Maybe what your friend wants right now is that excitement and the balance for wanting that is some hurt. Maybe your friend will want something else next week or month or year or never and hopefully she'll be open to exploring whatever that is. It'll be a fun adventure either way.

I feel like we're all attracted to something we're missing.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
10 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

I think it’s really hard to define… do you mean bad as in non-committal? Messes you around? Cheats? Is mean?

Mrs TMN (OMG I nearly signed my real name there!) x

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By *hyKentGuyMan
10 weeks ago

sheerness

Well I hope to think I’m one of the good ones.x

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
10 weeks ago

Reading

No interest in bad men at all. I hate being messed around and disrespected.

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By *estructionDollyWoman
10 weeks ago

Manchester

Depends what you define as bad.

I love sexual deviants with filthy minds, but who respect me and treat me well. People can be amazingly exciting sexually without being a "bad boy". Some of the most intense relationships I've had have been with "normal" decent men with perverted minds that align with my own.

I'm not into "bad boy" tropes. I don't want to change someone. I don't want someone who is emotionally immature. I don't want someone who plays games.

Anyone who tries the "treat them mean to keep them keen" shtick with me can get in the bin. I know what I want. And I absolutely know what I don't want.

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By *ndymac888Man
10 weeks ago

Dumbarton

I wasn’t a complete ass hole but it wasn’t until I had some responsibility (kids, relationships, work) that I started to take accountability for my actions and realised I wasnt the main character lol.

We don’t really mature unless we have some responsibility, but we might be older by then and be out of bounds attraction wise.

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By *isskxxyv OP   Woman
10 weeks ago

Reading


"I think it’s really hard to define… do you mean bad as in non-committal? Messes you around? Cheats? Is mean?

Mrs TMN (OMG I nearly signed my real name there!) x"

Just bad news! It’s hard to explain as it can be a variety of different things, usually it’s the early dating that I’m like.. I shouldn’t want this guy.. but I do! While rejecting all the ‘marriage material’ type men🤣

I’m a walking cliché.. or my friend is I mean🤭

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By *sStephenPickleMan
10 weeks ago

Ends


"I think it’s really hard to define… do you mean bad as in non-committal? Messes you around? Cheats? Is mean?

Mrs TMN (OMG I nearly signed my real name there!) x"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 someone is tired

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By *issmorganWoman
10 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I prefer a good man, to a bad lad.

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By *sStephenPickleMan
10 weeks ago

Ends

Bad boy by Skepta. What a throwback. Can’t stop singing it now

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

10 weeks ago

East Sussex

You don't want them you tolerate bad behaviour for reasons unknown.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
10 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"I think it’s really hard to define… do you mean bad as in non-committal? Messes you around? Cheats? Is mean?

Mrs TMN (OMG I nearly signed my real name there!) x

Just bad news! It’s hard to explain as it can be a variety of different things, usually it’s the early dating that I’m like.. I shouldn’t want this guy.. but I do! While rejecting all the ‘marriage material’ type men🤣

I’m a walking cliché.. or my friend is I mean🤭"

I guess your friend might want to delve a bit deeper into what they’re getting out of these interactions. Novelty? Variety? Are they really looking for stability in their life? Or do they not like others to get too close?

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
10 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"I think it’s really hard to define… do you mean bad as in non-committal? Messes you around? Cheats? Is mean?

Mrs TMN (OMG I nearly signed my real name there!) x

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 someone is tired"

I told you I was too old for going three rounds. But you wouldn’t listen

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

10 weeks ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 15/05/25 11:21:34]

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
10 weeks ago

Leeds

I'm old now, but I like the easy life, I like peace and quiet, no drama, no "bad boys" just peace.

Mrs

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By *hat.coupleCouple
10 weeks ago

Kent

It's not that we want the bed ones just that we want a man to display his ability to be bad and aggressive, makes us feel safer and like he is more capable of protecting us. Keep the bad boy behaviour to a minimum though please x

Mrs x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

10 weeks ago

East Sussex

Do you feel you don't deserve any better

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By *isskxxyv OP   Woman
10 weeks ago

Reading


"It's not that we want the bed ones just that we want a man to display his ability to be bad and aggressive, makes us feel safer and like he is more capable of protecting us. Keep the bad boy behaviour to a minimum though please x

Mrs x"

Oh now.. this! This is the type of analysis I like!

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By *arnelianWoman
10 weeks ago

Ely, Cambridgeshire (moved here April '25)

I only want the good ones. The ones who won't hurt me. The ones who take my feelings into account. The ones who deserve me.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
10 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

I'm not fond of the word 'bad boy'. It glamorises behaviours and excuses their responsibilities....

To be fair there are many men who are incorrectly labelled as such simply because of the life style they choose - it doesn't make them bad.

To be further fair , a cunt is a cunt.

It reminds me of the throwing around of the narcissist label.....

If someone doesn't want you , look at yourself not them .... maybe it's not the bloke that is 'bad'

( disclaimer - this is not directed at anyone in particular the offended can label me a 'bad girly' )

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By *hat.coupleCouple
10 weeks ago

Kent


"I only want the good ones. The ones who won't hurt me. The ones who take my feelings into account. The ones who deserve me."

Tell me if you find such a mythical creature, we can all come and bow at his feet.

(P.s. I've found him and I like to share, lightening doesn't strike twice usually)

Mrs x

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By *isskxxyv OP   Woman
10 weeks ago

Reading


"I'm not fond of the word 'bad boy'. It glamorises behaviours and excuses their responsibilities....

To be fair there are many men who are incorrectly labelled as such simply because of the life style they choose - it doesn't make them bad.

To be further fair , a cunt is a cunt.

It reminds me of the throwing around of the narcissist label.....

If someone doesn't want you , look at yourself not them .... maybe it's not the bloke that is 'bad'

( disclaimer - this is not directed at anyone in particular the offended can label me a 'bad girly' ) "

Interesting take, unsure how you can compare a medical mental diagnosis ( narcissist disorder etc) with a generic term that groups a bunch of behaviours together.

I agree that the former is used far too much.

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By *hat.coupleCouple
10 weeks ago

Kent


"I'm not fond of the word 'bad boy'. It glamorises behaviours and excuses their responsibilities....

To be fair there are many men who are incorrectly labelled as such simply because of the life style they choose - it doesn't make them bad.

To be further fair , a cunt is a cunt.

It reminds me of the throwing around of the narcissist label.....

If someone doesn't want you , look at yourself not them .... maybe it's not the bloke that is 'bad'

( disclaimer - this is not directed at anyone in particular the offended can label me a 'bad girly' ) "

Granny Crumpet? Bad?! No never! You're a good girl surely?

Mrs x

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By *sStephenPickleMan
10 weeks ago

Ends


"I think it’s really hard to define… do you mean bad as in non-committal? Messes you around? Cheats? Is mean?

Mrs TMN (OMG I nearly signed my real name there!) x

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 someone is tired

I told you I was too old for going three rounds. But you wouldn’t listen "

For you I’d go more than 3. Just so you could sleep well xxx

Awww that was so romance.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
10 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

Well Mrsx .... fraid so. Jelly to the centre

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

10 weeks ago

East Sussex


"I'm not fond of the word 'bad boy'. It glamorises behaviours and excuses their responsibilities....

To be fair there are many men who are incorrectly labelled as such simply because of the life style they choose - it doesn't make them bad.

To be further fair , a cunt is a cunt.

It reminds me of the throwing around of the narcissist label.....

If someone doesn't want you , look at yourself not them .... maybe it's not the bloke that is 'bad'

( disclaimer - this is not directed at anyone in particular the offended can label me a 'bad girly' ) "

I don't like it either for the same reasons.

Tolerate had behaviour of you want to but it's enabling at the very least

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

10 weeks ago

East Sussex

I tolerate bad behaviour once in my life, then we got divorced.

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By *sStephenPickleMan
10 weeks ago

Ends


"I tolerate bad behaviour once in my life, then we got divorced. "

And I regret losing you every day 💔

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By *2000ManMan
10 weeks ago

Worthing


"Ooh, how are we defining bad ones?"

Like someone they saw "on the telly". Women watch soaps...a lot. They want the excitement the plot lines with a "bad boy" bring to it.

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By *veragecouple2000Couple
10 weeks ago

South Wales

Yes, when we find a good one and realise the bad boys weren’t just lovable rogues they were in fact dicks! Xx 😄

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By *vaRoseWoman
10 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

I’ve only ever wanted decent guys. The toxic ones sound like hard work

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By *hrills and adventureMan
10 weeks ago

Winchester

Could it be that those that attract so called bad ones, are deep down, afraid of commitment. They crave the excitement knowing that the relationship is not going to lead anywhere. Any hurt is outweighed by that initial excitement and knowing there will be no long-term commitment.

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By *abs Big BangersWoman
10 weeks ago

Cotswolds

In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!

No idea why

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By *isskxxyv OP   Woman
10 weeks ago

Reading


"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!

No idea why"

Someone gets it😉

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

Ah there was a time I liked a bad boy. Probably still wouldn't say no tbh. I like the look, a bit rougher, tattoos...yes please.

These days though I like my guys a bit more mentally and emotionally stable. (Preferably still a bit rougher looking with the tattoos)

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By *viatrixWoman
10 weeks ago

Redhill

I’ve always had a weakness for the nice guys. Even then I have had my heart broken a few times, but I’ve been lucky that I’ve always been with good people. 😌

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By *abs Big BangersWoman
10 weeks ago

Cotswolds


"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!

No idea why

Someone gets it😉"

100%

Why would you want to keep them?

A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago


"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!

No idea why

Someone gets it😉

100%

Why would you want to keep them?

A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸 "

Meh, I don't think nice men don't do bad things in the bedroom. Well not in my experience. Or maybe I just always go for the bad ones with realising.

Lots of decent guys are downright filthy in the bedroom, and lots of bad boys are a fucking disappointment in the bedroom!

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By *abs Big BangersWoman
10 weeks ago

Cotswolds


"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!

No idea why

Someone gets it😉

100%

Why would you want to keep them?

A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸

Meh, I don't think nice men don't do bad things in the bedroom. Well not in my experience. Or maybe I just always go for the bad ones with realising.

Lots of decent guys are downright filthy in the bedroom, and lots of bad boys are a fucking disappointment in the bedroom!

"

I think your top answer is most likely, maybe they are a bad boy and you didn't realise 🤔

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
10 weeks ago

The Velvet Den of Desire


"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!

No idea why

Someone gets it😉

100%

Why would you want to keep them?

A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸 "

Haha.

A nice guy would have bought you a teddy bear aswell. 😉

After what I’ve just asked them to do, they deserve to feel something soft again. 😏

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By *agic.MMan
10 weeks ago

Orpington

Are you low key asking for approval for bad behaviour? Being emotionally mature isn't just about recognising what's right/wrong or healthy/toxic...it is about recognising emotions, managing and not being impulsive with emotions and most importantly finding ways to express emotions in a positive way. It's clear that what you are looking for is excitement, but than you also believe that only "bad boys" who are toxic to you and hurt you emotionally can bring that excitement...which I'm sorry to say, is emotionally immature (from my pov).

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By *estructionDollyWoman
10 weeks ago

Manchester


"Lots of decent guys are downright filthy in the bedroom, and lots of bad boys are a fucking disappointment in the bedroom!

"

💯

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
10 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!

No idea why

Someone gets it😉

100%

Why would you want to keep them?

A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸 "

This honestly doesn’t chime with me. Some of the kindest, most caring men I’ve ever known have done things to me that make my toes curl just thinking about it. I also don’t think the binary bad boys/nice men description serves anyone well, it reminds me of the madonna/whore thing applied to women.

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By *abs Big BangersWoman
10 weeks ago

Cotswolds


"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!

No idea why

Someone gets it😉

100%

Why would you want to keep them?

A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸

Haha.

A nice guy would have bought you a teddy bear aswell. 😉

After what I’ve just asked them to do, they deserve to feel something soft again. 😏"

Wouldn't the soft part be the nice bouncy fluffy pillow they had their face buried in? 🤣🤣

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By *partharmonyCouple
10 weeks ago

Ruislip

Some women do, some women don't.

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By *inky PerkyCouple
10 weeks ago

Kingston

Your friend wants a "bad boy" but then gets upset when she is invariably treated badly?

Heard it all before.

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By *abs Big BangersWoman
10 weeks ago

Cotswolds


"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!

No idea why

Someone gets it😉

100%

Why would you want to keep them?

A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸

This honestly doesn’t chime with me. Some of the kindest, most caring men I’ve ever known have done things to me that make my toes curl just thinking about it. I also don’t think the binary bad boys/nice men description serves anyone well, it reminds me of the madonna/whore thing applied to women. "

No idea what the Madonna thing was all about, slightly before my time i think. 🤔

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By *isskxxyv OP   Woman
10 weeks ago

Reading


"Are you low key asking for approval for bad behaviour? Being emotionally mature isn't just about recognising what's right/wrong or healthy/toxic...it is about recognising emotions, managing and not being impulsive with emotions and most importantly finding ways to express emotions in a positive way. It's clear that what you are looking for is excitement, but than you also believe that only "bad boys" who are toxic to you and hurt you emotionally can bring that excitement...which I'm sorry to say, is emotionally immature (from my pov). "

It was initially intended to be a lot more light hearted than it has turned out 🤣

I don’t seek validation for my actions. I think it’s impossible to base emotional maturity on these scenarios as quite literally everyone will experience things differently and therefore, their brain will condition differently to others and essentially think different. Hence how we are all unique and different in this life.. I get your point though😉

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By *.R.MMan
10 weeks ago

Norfolk

You mean bad as in Micheal Jackson bad, shamone

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
10 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!

No idea why

Someone gets it😉

100%

Why would you want to keep them?

A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸

This honestly doesn’t chime with me. Some of the kindest, most caring men I’ve ever known have done things to me that make my toes curl just thinking about it. I also don’t think the binary bad boys/nice men description serves anyone well, it reminds me of the madonna/whore thing applied to women.

No idea what the Madonna thing was all about, slightly before my time i think. 🤔"

Not that Madonna, I mean when women are divided into marriage material or good for a fuck groups.

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
10 weeks ago

North West


"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!

No idea why

Someone gets it😉

100%

Why would you want to keep them?

A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸

Meh, I don't think nice men don't do bad things in the bedroom. Well not in my experience. Or maybe I just always go for the bad ones with realising.

Lots of decent guys are downright filthy in the bedroom, and lots of bad boys are a fucking disappointment in the bedroom!

"

Totally agree. I've done some absolute debauchery with good people.

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
10 weeks ago

North West


"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!

No idea why

Someone gets it😉

100%

Why would you want to keep them?

A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸

This honestly doesn’t chime with me. Some of the kindest, most caring men I’ve ever known have done things to me that make my toes curl just thinking about it. I also don’t think the binary bad boys/nice men description serves anyone well, it reminds me of the madonna/whore thing applied to women. "

I knew you'd be on my wavelength with this twinnie 😂

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By *estructionDollyWoman
10 weeks ago

Manchester


"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!

No idea why

Someone gets it😉

100%

Why would you want to keep them?

A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸

This honestly doesn’t chime with me. Some of the kindest, most caring men I’ve ever known have done things to me that make my toes curl just thinking about it. I also don’t think the binary bad boys/nice men description serves anyone well, it reminds me of the madonna/whore thing applied to women. "

Agreed. I think it's an overly simplistic view.

Some of the things I enjoy done to me in the bedroom, I wouldn't let anyone do them to me without believing they 100% respected me, my boundries and cared for my wellbeing.

For instance, being a sadist and enjoying that type of play doesn't automatically make someone a "bad boy" in my opinion. Having a certain "look" like tattoos, a beard, the clothes they wear, doesn't make them a "bad boy" either.

Maybe some of us just have a different view about what a "bad boy" is 🤷🏻‍♀️

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By *exyScientistsCouple
10 weeks ago

Castlebar


"Asking for a mate..🙄🙄🤣"

Reformed ones...the ones who were wild and bad and now are just a bit wild, but have a good heart and a naughty streak 😈

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By *agic.MMan
10 weeks ago

Orpington


"Are you low key asking for approval for bad behaviour? Being emotionally mature isn't just about recognising what's right/wrong or healthy/toxic...it is about recognising emotions, managing and not being impulsive with emotions and most importantly finding ways to express emotions in a positive way. It's clear that what you are looking for is excitement, but than you also believe that only "bad boys" who are toxic to you and hurt you emotionally can bring that excitement...which I'm sorry to say, is emotionally immature (from my pov).

It was initially intended to be a lot more light hearted than it has turned out 🤣

I don’t seek validation for my actions. I think it’s impossible to base emotional maturity on these scenarios as quite literally everyone will experience things differently and therefore, their brain will condition differently to others and essentially think different. Hence how we are all unique and different in this life.. I get your point though😉"

I think at this point ( and with the boost in mental health research in recent years) we can clearly define what emotional maturity is... if we approach emotional maturity the way you describe it , anyone doing anything can be perceived emotionally mature in their own unique way, which makes the whole context of "emotionally mature " irrelevant and non existent

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

No! Lol

I have a guy on here had meets with but then we make plans and he ghosts me, comes back asking to see me so I go, make plans again and he ghosts me, it's a toxic cycle and I need to not go back... he's just sexy af!

I will never learn!!

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
10 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!

No idea why

Someone gets it😉

100%

Why would you want to keep them?

A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸

This honestly doesn’t chime with me. Some of the kindest, most caring men I’ve ever known have done things to me that make my toes curl just thinking about it. I also don’t think the binary bad boys/nice men description serves anyone well, it reminds me of the madonna/whore thing applied to women.

Agreed. I think it's an overly simplistic view.

Some of the things I enjoy done to me in the bedroom, I wouldn't let anyone do them to me without believing they 100% respected me, my boundries and cared for my wellbeing.

For instance, being a sadist and enjoying that type of play doesn't automatically make someone a "bad boy" in my opinion. Having a certain "look" like tattoos, a beard, the clothes they wear, doesn't make them a "bad boy" either.

Maybe some of us just have a different view about what a "bad boy" is 🤷🏻‍♀️"

I think this might be the thing right here. Sorry OP, this thread has become a discussion of the definition of a bad boy

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
10 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!

No idea why

Someone gets it😉

100%

Why would you want to keep them?

A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸

This honestly doesn’t chime with me. Some of the kindest, most caring men I’ve ever known have done things to me that make my toes curl just thinking about it. I also don’t think the binary bad boys/nice men description serves anyone well, it reminds me of the madonna/whore thing applied to women.

I knew you'd be on my wavelength with this twinnie 😂"

Shocker

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By *isskxxyv OP   Woman
10 weeks ago

Reading


"Are you low key asking for approval for bad behaviour? Being emotionally mature isn't just about recognising what's right/wrong or healthy/toxic...it is about recognising emotions, managing and not being impulsive with emotions and most importantly finding ways to express emotions in a positive way. It's clear that what you are looking for is excitement, but than you also believe that only "bad boys" who are toxic to you and hurt you emotionally can bring that excitement...which I'm sorry to say, is emotionally immature (from my pov).

It was initially intended to be a lot more light hearted than it has turned out 🤣

I don’t seek validation for my actions. I think it’s impossible to base emotional maturity on these scenarios as quite literally everyone will experience things differently and therefore, their brain will condition differently to others and essentially think different. Hence how we are all unique and different in this life.. I get your point though😉

I think at this point ( and with the boost in mental health research in recent years) we can clearly define what emotional maturity is... if we approach emotional maturity the way you describe it , anyone doing anything can be perceived emotionally mature in their own unique way, which makes the whole context of "emotionally mature " irrelevant and non existent"

Valid point, I didn’t articulate myself properly.

But could that point not be flipped over, who is actually viable to assess emotional maturity?😉

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By *ovelyDayXXXWoman
10 weeks ago

Niche

Not looking a 'nice guy' faking it.

Or a 'good guy' playing games.

I only make time for someone that is genuinely a good person.

Someone who can handle life.

Someone who won't add more weight to what I already carry.

If my life isn't better for having you in it? ...just keep moving, not interested, zero attraction, nothing for you.

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By *agic.MMan
10 weeks ago

Orpington


"Are you low key asking for approval for bad behaviour? Being emotionally mature isn't just about recognising what's right/wrong or healthy/toxic...it is about recognising emotions, managing and not being impulsive with emotions and most importantly finding ways to express emotions in a positive way. It's clear that what you are looking for is excitement, but than you also believe that only "bad boys" who are toxic to you and hurt you emotionally can bring that excitement...which I'm sorry to say, is emotionally immature (from my pov).

It was initially intended to be a lot more light hearted than it has turned out 🤣

I don’t seek validation for my actions. I think it’s impossible to base emotional maturity on these scenarios as quite literally everyone will experience things differently and therefore, their brain will condition differently to others and essentially think different. Hence how we are all unique and different in this life.. I get your point though😉

I think at this point ( and with the boost in mental health research in recent years) we can clearly define what emotional maturity is... if we approach emotional maturity the way you describe it , anyone doing anything can be perceived emotionally mature in their own unique way, which makes the whole context of "emotionally mature " irrelevant and non existent

Valid point, I didn’t articulate myself properly.

But could that point not be flipped over, who is actually viable to assess emotional maturity?😉"

It's not a condition that needs to be assessed by a specialist...it's just a pattern of behaviour. Psychologists and specialists will describe and showcase these patterns of behaviour for us (adults) to better recognise them. Similar with food.. we kinda know what's good and bad for us to eat based on how our bodies react to food, but a nutritionist will better explain why a certain food is not good for us.

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
10 weeks ago

The Velvet Den of Desire


"In personal experience, no we don't. They always bring something else to the bedroom somehow, that just doesn't get replicated elsewhere!

No idea why

Someone gets it😉

100%

Why would you want to keep them?

A bad boy is great in the bedroom , they do things not many "nice men" do 🤣, if i wanted cuddles, I'd buy a teddy bear 🧸

This honestly doesn’t chime with me. Some of the kindest, most caring men I’ve ever known have done things to me that make my toes curl just thinking about it. I also don’t think the binary bad boys/nice men description serves anyone well, it reminds me of the madonna/whore thing applied to women.

No idea what the Madonna thing was all about, slightly before my time i think. 🤔"

Haha. ^a nice girl. 😏😅

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By * WillisMan
10 weeks ago

London


"Asking for a mate..🙄🙄🤣"

I’m not one for blowing my own trumpet but if I see a “Keep of the grass” sign I’m gonna lay all over that bitch. They can’t tell me what to do I’m naturally OG 😂😂😂

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By *isskxxyv OP   Woman
10 weeks ago

Reading


"Are you low key asking for approval for bad behaviour? Being emotionally mature isn't just about recognising what's right/wrong or healthy/toxic...it is about recognising emotions, managing and not being impulsive with emotions and most importantly finding ways to express emotions in a positive way. It's clear that what you are looking for is excitement, but than you also believe that only "bad boys" who are toxic to you and hurt you emotionally can bring that excitement...which I'm sorry to say, is emotionally immature (from my pov).

It was initially intended to be a lot more light hearted than it has turned out 🤣

I don’t seek validation for my actions. I think it’s impossible to base emotional maturity on these scenarios as quite literally everyone will experience things differently and therefore, their brain will condition differently to others and essentially think different. Hence how we are all unique and different in this life.. I get your point though😉

I think at this point ( and with the boost in mental health research in recent years) we can clearly define what emotional maturity is... if we approach emotional maturity the way you describe it , anyone doing anything can be perceived emotionally mature in their own unique way, which makes the whole context of "emotionally mature " irrelevant and non existent

Valid point, I didn’t articulate myself properly.

But could that point not be flipped over, who is actually viable to assess emotional maturity?😉

It's not a condition that needs to be assessed by a specialist...it's just a pattern of behaviour. Psychologists and specialists will describe and showcase these patterns of behaviour for us (adults) to better recognise them. Similar with food.. we kinda know what's good and bad for us to eat based on how our bodies react to food, but a nutritionist will better explain why a certain food is not good for us."

But surely.. although a general example of behaviours portray as ‘emotionally immature’.

It simply can’t be determined via someone who knows nothing about you via a swingers forum 😉

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By *EAT..85Woman
10 weeks ago

Nottingham

I have one that's bad for me, in the last 7 years he's been blocked more than he hasn't, but that doesn't stop me from unblocking him here and there through sheer stupidity 🫤 He's taken and I'm not entertaining that anymore.

Otherwise, yes, the ones that you know are gonna leave you in the dust, I find attractive, but rarely go there anymore.

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By *sStephenPickleMan
10 weeks ago

Ends

You can change them. I believe in you.

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By *isskxxyv OP   Woman
10 weeks ago

Reading


"You can change them. I believe in you. "

The cheerleader I always needed.

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By *urvyLady4BlackMenWoman
10 weeks ago

Norwich

Yes in my limited experience yes.

Bad boys are called that for a reason. They can make very inconsiderate lovers and they are the drama.

Give me a quiet introvert or shy guy any day.

I'm old though so I'm over them. They can seem fun at the time though but nah!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

10 weeks ago

East Sussex


"I tolerate bad behaviour once in my life, then we got divorced.

And I regret losing you every day 💔"

so you should. Nobody makes a sandwich quite like I do.

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By *ovelyDayXXXWoman
10 weeks ago

Niche

For many it's a cycle of behaviour that starts from trauma. It can be many things that kick-starts it but ultimately it meets a need in you that other things won't.

You get all the big brain feelgood chemicals from the push/pull, the lovebomb/rejection, the hot/cold, the challenge to get their attention, to 'win' them.

But it's not them you want. It's the win. Like walking away from a fairground stall with a cheap stuffie worth £1.50 that cost you £25 in tickets....

We all want to be wanted. To be chosen. To be valued. It's hard.

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By *rApproachableMan
10 weeks ago

London

Some of us maintain that excitement to couple with experience

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By *rApproachableMan
10 weeks ago

London


"No! Lol

I have a guy on here had meets with but then we make plans and he ghosts me, comes back asking to see me so I go, make plans again and he ghosts me, it's a toxic cycle and I need to not go back... he's just sexy af!

I will never learn!!"

Make time for those that make time for you. Thats the motto I live by

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By *midnight-Woman
10 weeks ago

...

I don't think I've ever been involved with a bad boy.. I think I'm too sensible and know they are bad news and will only bring trouble

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By *rApproachableMan
10 weeks ago

London


"I’ve only ever wanted decent guys. The toxic ones sound like hard work"

Toxic people are full stop. Some people like that. Personally I moonwalk away

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By *idnightMischiefMan
10 weeks ago

London

I'm an angel, an absolute diamond of a bloke - I'm bloody lovely and your mum will love me too!

Never ever been accused of being bad, nope, not me, never. 😇

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By *olyGlamorousWoman
10 weeks ago

Altrincham


"Asking for a mate..🙄🙄🤣"

I always want what I can't have

🤷🏼‍♂️

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By *eliWoman
10 weeks ago

.

Are you talking about people who are bad for you or the bad boy archetype OP?

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By *sStephenPickleMan
10 weeks ago

Ends


"Are you talking about people who are bad for you or the bad boy archetype OP?"

She explained above if it helps

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By *isskxxyv OP   Woman
10 weeks ago

Reading


"Are you talking about people who are bad for you or the bad boy archetype OP?"

A bit of both but mainly the former xx

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By *eliWoman
10 weeks ago

.


"Are you talking about people who are bad for you or the bad boy archetype OP?

She explained above if it helps "

I'm not reading all of that unless I'm being paid.

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By *sStephenPickleMan
10 weeks ago

Ends

[Removed by poster at 15/05/25 14:36:56]

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By *sStephenPickleMan
10 weeks ago

Ends


"Are you talking about people who are bad for you or the bad boy archetype OP?

She explained above if it helps

I'm not reading all of that unless I'm being paid. "

I’m not reading all that but I’m sad that happened or congrats or whatever

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By *icentiousCouple
10 weeks ago

Up on them there hills

Does bad mean non-domestic as in sex?

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By *arnelianWoman
10 weeks ago

Ely, Cambridgeshire (moved here April '25)


"I only want the good ones. The ones who won't hurt me. The ones who take my feelings into account. The ones who deserve me.

Tell me if you find such a mythical creature, we can all come and bow at his feet.

(P.s. I've found him and I like to share, lightening doesn't strike twice usually)

Mrs x"

Like you said, you've found this mythical creature. I've got a FWB who is like this too. If you're reading this V, yes, it's you

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