FabSwingers.com forum: When you have a conversation with someone and it feels like you are pulling your teeth

By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
10 weeks ago

North West

I'm referring to conversations on here by the way. Do you instantly get turned off too? I must admit I do, I mean to me the enthusiasm dies away pretty quickly especially if I feel like I'm putting effort in my messages and I don't get the same back.

Anyone the same? Or do you not really care?

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By *aizyWoman
10 weeks ago

west midlands

I am the same, I'm a chatter if all I get is one or two word replies or they answer me with emojis I just leave it, find someone else to have a chat with.

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By *estructionDollyWoman
10 weeks ago

Manchester

100%. If we can't have a good convo we won't be having sex. If the convo feels strained or hard work it's a turn off for me.

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By *ulie.your. bottom. slutTV/TS
10 weeks ago

Near Glasgow

My favourite ones are

Guy: Hi

Me: Hi

Guy: How are you

Me: Am good, how are you.

Guy: Bored

It amazing how of this one happens.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
10 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Leeds/London

Yes. Yes.

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By *ildTimes.Man
10 weeks ago

Wherever I May Roam

"I am the same, I'm a chatter if all I get is one or two word replies or they answer me with emojis I just leave it, find someone else to have a chat with."

🤷🏻‍♂️🥪

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

Had a woman start messaging me, then she just gave on word response and didn't answer any of my questions. I thought it was very strange, like why message me in the 1st place lol

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By *aizyWoman
10 weeks ago

west midlands

"I am the same, I'm a chatter if all I get is one or two word replies or they answer me with emojis I just leave it, find someone else to have a chat with.

🤷🏻‍♂️🥪"

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

I sometimes feel I write to much. I'm a waffler and understand that some people on here have very limited time to be reading paragraphs of replies so I try to stroke a balance.

I'm genuinely curious...

It is sometimes difficult to send a cold message and start a few flowing conversation. To find what you both enjoy chatting about etc.

Xxx

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By *ansoffateMan
10 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Yes and yet at other times words alone are not quite enough.

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By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
10 weeks ago

North West

"I am the same, I'm a chatter if all I get is one or two word replies or they answer me with emojis I just leave it, find someone else to have a chat with.

🤷🏻‍♂️🥪"

😱

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By *ere4It3000Couple
10 weeks ago

Belgium

100% the same for me.

There’s no space for any connection to grow for me personally if only get a few words back.

Or like, just the lack of “enthusiasm”, good writing, puts me off… I don’t expect people to behave like puppy’s but I am looking to catch people who are on the same wavelength. Happy to chat, open, spontaneous…

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By *enshun4Man
10 weeks ago

City Centre

Oh yes they are most annoying chats pulling teeth is much easier

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By *ositiveVibesWoman
10 weeks ago

here there and everywhere

If the conversation isn’t flowing… it’s so damn hard and not worth the effort

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

If my replies are short and boring it just tells me I'm not that into them and I can't be arsed.

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By *bby1110Woman
10 weeks ago

Gloucester

Think my sense of humour is a bit too dry for some so isn’t always recognised. A sensible or slightly lecturing response to something I think is obviously a joke/sarcasm destroys any enthusiasm to continue

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By *issmorganWoman
10 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I just stop chatting to anyone when it feels like hard work.

If the conversation doesn't flow well, one of us isn't that interested.

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
10 weeks ago

The Velvet Den of Desire

"If my replies are short and boring it just tells me I'm not that into them and I can't be arsed. "

This.

If their replies are sort answers, it normally hints they are not into you.

Op, it simple, you have just got to read the room.

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By *r Bond.Man
10 weeks ago

Moving Around the Midlands

"I am the same, I'm a chatter if all I get is one or two word replies or they answer me with emojis I just leave it, find someone else to have a chat with."

100% this. I enjoy chatting about anything and everything so if the same effort isn’t made to make the conversation a 2 sided thing I stop putting effort in and inevitably the conversation dies

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By *cotish_GentMan
10 weeks ago

Gloucester

Glad it not just me, so times you build up a good back and forth then other commitments call and falls flat

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By *uncouple153Couple
10 weeks ago

Abergavenny

If we just receive one word replies back or obviously generic responses we move on

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By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
10 weeks ago

North West

"If my replies are short and boring it just tells me I'm not that into them and I can't be arsed.

This.

If their replies are sort answers, it normally hints they are not into you.

Op, it simple, you have just got to read the room. "

Oh no I can deffo read the room. But I'm a chatter and it can be frustrating nonetheless. I can im referring to stuff like hi how are you. You ok? And stuff like Lol

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By *moothshaftMan
10 weeks ago

Coventry

That's just like me OP, I put a lot of effort into my chat, but most of the time it's a very limited response.

But we need to bare in mind, the women we start a conversation with have probably had lots and lots of messages that day already.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
10 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

If someone isn't engaging I don't tend to bother.

I will do one and two word answers sometimes, purely because people deciding I'm boring and going away of their own accord seems less likely to end in hurling abuse like a simple rejection does 💜

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
10 weeks ago

The Velvet Den of Desire

"If my replies are short and boring it just tells me I'm not that into them and I can't be arsed.

This.

If their replies are sort answers, it normally hints they are not into you.

Op, it simple, you have just got to read the room.

Oh no I can deffo read the room. But I'm a chatter and it can be frustrating nonetheless. I can im referring to stuff like hi how are you. You ok? And stuff like Lol "

Same

I can pretty much chat to anyone, and about anything.

But like you said, it becomes all one way sometimes and I just get the idea I’m into it more than they are.

I’m not just talking about here, but I definitely can relate.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
10 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I'm referring to conversations on here by the way. Do you instantly get turned off too? I must admit I do, I mean to me the enthusiasm dies away pretty quickly especially if I feel like I'm putting effort in my messages and I don't get the same back.

Anyone the same? Or do you not really care?"

Yes

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By *oomerangboyMan
10 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Conversations are supposed to be two way, the amount of conversations that are just one way, I’ll get bored of trying, and move on

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By *nkedIrishMan
10 weeks ago

Bideford

Totally agree. Need a bit of chat to get a sense of people and when the replies are one or two words I'm out. Especially strange when they've initiated contact.

I did see a couple say on another forum post that it often means they're not interested. I'd rather you just said that! Although I do understand that some men don't handle rejection well so it probably feels like a safer way to kill the conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

"If my replies are short and boring it just tells me I'm not that into them and I can't be arsed.

This.

If their replies are sort answers, it normally hints they are not into you.

Op, it simple, you have just got to read the room.

Oh no I can deffo read the room. But I'm a chatter and it can be frustrating nonetheless. I can im referring to stuff like hi how are you. You ok? And stuff like Lol "

The how are you stuff , I'd even ignore from someone I was already having sex with. Talking for the sake of talking is boring. And that is what most conversations on here feel like.

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
10 weeks ago

The Velvet Den of Desire

"Totally agree. Need a bit of chat to get a sense of people and when the replies are one or two words I'm out. Especially strange when they've initiated contact.

If we are mostly talking about women op, do you get the impression they could possibly be in the middle of many many more conversations with other people? 🧐

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By *lderflower_AppleWoman
10 weeks ago

Basingstoke

It's the ones who open with, 'I'd love to chat with you', and then have the conversational skills of a mouldy carrot that really get me!

Sorry, but you could be Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans (the actor, not the tw#t) all rolled into one, but if you can't hold a decent conversation you'll have me dried up like the Sahara in an instant, and I'm gone.

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By *rostgiantMan
10 weeks ago

Wilts

I'm ADHD which can make it very easy to get bored. I hate feeling like I'm carrying the conversation

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By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
10 weeks ago

North West

"Totally agree. Need a bit of chat to get a sense of people and when the replies are one or two words I'm out. Especially strange when they've initiated contact.

If we are mostly talking about women op, do you get the impression they could possibly be in the middle of many many more conversations with other people? 🧐"

Possibly yeah. Hard to keep up conversations with someone if you're talking to say 10 other person simultaneously

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By *aizyWoman
10 weeks ago

west midlands

"Totally agree. Need a bit of chat to get a sense of people and when the replies are one or two words I'm out. Especially strange when they've initiated contact.

If we are mostly talking about women op, do you get the impression they could possibly be in the middle of many many more conversations with other people? 🧐"

Not just women, I've been in chats with men on here and they have sent me a msg totally unrelated to what we were talking about, when I asked them I got back, sorry that msg wasn't meant for you

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By *entleman JayMan
10 weeks ago

Wakefield

Very short replies, with no capital letters or full stops. History tells me that ain’t going anywhere. Delete move on.

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By *obilebottomMan
10 weeks ago

All over

I had 3 'Free now?' messages so far today

Kot even a hello.

And that ambiguous OK they often come back with is the ultimate teeth puller.

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By *eroLondonMan
10 weeks ago

Mayfair

Yes. To a certain degree.

Hence paragraph 3 in my profile text to mitigate that.

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By *nkedIrishMan
10 weeks ago

Bideford

"Totally agree. Need a bit of chat to get a sense of people and when the replies are one or two words I'm out. Especially strange when they've initiated contact.

If we are mostly talking about women op, do you get the impression they could possibly be in the middle of many many more conversations with other people? 🧐"

Think that's a pretty safe bet

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By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
10 weeks ago

North West

"I had 3 'Free now?' messages so far today

Kot even a hello.

And that ambiguous OK they often come back with is the ultimate teeth puller.

Well are you three? Or four? 😂

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By *dalisqueWoman
10 weeks ago

land of make believe

Like many on here the conversation is the foreplay for me.

If you can't exited and intrigue my mind then it definitely won't be going anywhere.

I lose interest quite quickly if someone is too difficult to communicate with.

🩵

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By *parkle1974Woman
10 weeks ago

Leeds

I can talk for Britain, love engaging in conversation but as others have said, it's a 2 way street. I get bored pretty quickly if it's not upheld and my focus wanders elsewhere x

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By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
10 weeks ago

North West

"Had a woman start messaging me, then she just gave on word response and didn't answer any of my questions. I thought it was very strange, like why message me in the 1st place lol "

People can be flaky on here, I wouldn't worry about it. Onwards and upwards mate.

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By *iss_Juicy79Woman
10 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Most that I've tried to converse with seem to have no interest in chatting at all

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

If conversation is hard I don't continue the conversation.

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By *iss DevilWoman
10 weeks ago

Bedford

I think if you've connected, then the conversation would just flow. Otherwise, there's no point continuing one.

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By *oodoodMan
10 weeks ago

Suffolkish

Yep it's the one word replies that are the worst

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By *stoppMan
10 weeks ago

Durham

In my experience on here its normally the guys starting their conversation via dm with just 3 words messages

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By *eliWoman
10 weeks ago

Yes. It doesn't mean matched length of message etc but it's about the energy. I'm too busy to pour my energy where it's not wanted. Sometimes I'm not the greatest at responding to messages but when I do? I try and give them the energy they deserve.

I don't want scarily enthusiastic or eyerolling disinterested. Just like matched energy.

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
10 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…

Anyone the same? Or do you not really care?"

Glad I’m not the only one

Tired of having to carry the conversation.

My kingdom for a woman with a personality

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
10 weeks ago

Reading

It usually just means there isn't much of a connection so just move on.

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By *lue Eyed JokerMan
10 weeks ago

Always on the move

I get this. I'm a right old chatter box. And I think it's been said further up, if I'm getting 1 or 2 word answers then I completely give up on the idea. Especially if I'm putting some top level humour into my message and getting nothing back.

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By *wo-Of-a-KindCouple
10 weeks ago

Middle Earth

we had a social with a guy just like that, very hard work. no conversation skills, thankfully it was just a social.

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
10 weeks ago

Norwich

"I am the same, I'm a chatter if all I get is one or two word replies or they answer me with emojis I just leave it, find someone else to have a chat with."

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
10 weeks ago

East Sussex

If they can't engage fully I take it as a sign that they aren't interested and bring the conversation to an end

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By *hechonkyduoCouple
10 weeks ago

Café Leblanc, Stourbridge

We are talkers. If the person messaging us cant or wont hold a conversation then they won't be meeting with us.

We need a good rapport.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
10 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

These answers clearly suggest it's 'them' and not 'you'

I wonder.

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By *aizyWoman
10 weeks ago

west midlands

"These answers clearly suggest it's 'them' and not 'you'

I wonder. "

🤔

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

Never happens to me. I'm full of useful and useless topics of conversation.

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By *midnight-Woman
10 weeks ago

...

A lot for me depends on timing - i usually dip in and out of fab - I don't want to read or reply to essays. Especially deep, bare your soul when we've only exchanged 'hi'

I like short, witty banter style convo.

Anything deeper and I'll put it on the back burner for later and inevitably forget about it.

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By *uffolkcouple-bi onlyCouple
10 weeks ago

West Suffolk

Best ones are….

Them….”hi”

Us….” Hi, how you doing?”

Them…”horny”

That is the standard response we get

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
10 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"My favourite ones are

Guy: Hi

Me: Hi

Guy: How are you

Me: Am good, how are you.

Guy: Bored

It amazing how of this one happens. "

Or guy : hi

Me : hi

Him : how are you?

Me : I'm good, you?

Him: horny...

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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By *herrybakewellCouple
10 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Conversations like that never turn us on in the first place.

Its so obvious when a conversation is going no where.

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By *ancashireredheadWoman
10 weeks ago

Up North

"Best ones are….

Them….”hi”

Us….” Hi, how you doing?”

Them…”horny”

That is the standard response we get "

Stop sharing my moves 🤣😝

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
10 weeks ago

IPSWICH

I just give up and move on.

Me... Hi.. "nice polite thoughtful message"

Them.... "Face"

Me...

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By *herrybakewellCouple
10 weeks ago

Staffordshire

"I just give up and move on.

Me... Hi.. "nice polite thoughtful message"

Them.... "Face"

Me..."

Then they reply that they will share a face pic in return when they feel comfortable.....jerks.

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By *uffolkcouple-bi onlyCouple
10 weeks ago

West Suffolk

"Best ones are….

Them….”hi”

Us….” Hi, how you doing?”

Them…”horny”

That is the standard response we get

Stop sharing my moves 🤣😝"

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By *tandardIssueNerdMan
10 weeks ago

Telford

Yeah I feel like that a lot.

If I'm lucky enough to get a response from someone, most of the time the tone/feel that I get from the replies is that I'm basically an annoyance to them.

Some effort usually goes a long way.

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By *oldyoudown41Man
10 weeks ago

Oxfordshire

Just pull my teeth… it’s a absolute disaster when this happens

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
10 weeks ago

North West

"A lot for me depends on timing - i usually dip in and out of fab - I don't want to read or reply to essays. Especially deep, bare your soul when we've only exchanged 'hi'

I like short, witty banter style convo.

Anything deeper and I'll put it on the back burner for later and inevitably forget about it.

I'm similar. This isn't, to me, the right platform for an in-depth ongoing conversation. I find the messaging clunky having to refresh to see if they've replied. It's just tedious.

If I've got you on another app then I can chat and chat. And memes and GIFs. But even then I'll tend to match energy rather than talk for the sake of talking.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
10 weeks ago

Brum

He’s talking about you dear reader.

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By *harmedAndInChargeMan
10 weeks ago

Bath

I like to learn about a person. I asks lots of questions. And I’m attracted to people who ask questions back. So if someone doesn’t ask questions I loose interest very quickly and will politely remove myself from the chat.

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By *midnight-Woman
10 weeks ago

...

"I like to learn about a person. I asks lots of questions. And I’m attracted to people who ask questions back. So if someone doesn’t ask questions I loose interest very quickly and will politely remove myself from the chat. "

Really, even on fab? Don't you think that works better in person?

What kind of Qs do you ask? Are they easy + breezy?

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By *harmedAndInChargeMan
10 weeks ago

Bath

Really, even on fab? Don't you think that works better in person?

What kind of Qs do you ask? Are they easy + breezy? "

Even on fab…I don’t have a pre prepared list of questions for you haha but in general….I like to find out what motivates a person…what they are passionate about in and out of the bedroom. But that is because I like to establish the chance of chemistry before a social.

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By *midnight-Woman
10 weeks ago

...

Really, even on fab? Don't you think that works better in person?

What kind of Qs do you ask? Are they easy + breezy?

Oh ok, that sounds more like standard chat

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By *olyGlamorousWoman
10 weeks ago

Altrincham

Anyone the same? Or do you not really care?"

If I get dead end messages that I can't reply to, I don't reply to them. The conversation has to flow, I need to be engaged and connect with the person I'm talking to

If not, I just don't reply, then at some point I click 'delete all' 🤷🏼‍♂️

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By *harmedAndInChargeMan
10 weeks ago

Bath

Really, even on fab? Don't you think that works better in person?

What kind of Qs do you ask? Are they easy + breezy?

Oh ok, that sounds more like standard chat

Yes, are we talking about non standard chat?

I think the feeling of pulling teeth comes from chatting to a person who doesn’t engage in standard chat

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