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National Limerick Day

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By *vaRose OP   Woman
9 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

Today is apparently National Limerick Day

So, in honour of the occasion give me your best limericks please! I’ll start us off with a classic.

.

There once was a young man from Kent,

Whose tool was exceedingly bent.

To save himself trouble,

He put it in double,

And instead of coming, he went.

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By *ude LawMan
9 weeks ago

Harrogate


"Today is apparently National Limerick Day

So, in honour of the occasion give me your best limericks please! I’ll start us off with a classic.

.

There once was a young man from Kent,

Whose tool was exceedingly bent.

To save himself trouble,

He put it in double,

And instead of coming, he went."

There was a young lady called Eva

Who acted the queen and the diva

When she flashed her bits

And magnificent tits

Then the men all came down with a fever

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By *r.ZeusMan
9 weeks ago

Basgiath War College

A sultry young miss from Kent

Knew exactly what “teasing” meant.

She’d arch and she’d sway,

In a most wicked way,

And leave all the gents quite bent.

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By *ancashireredheadWoman
9 weeks ago

Up North

There was a young woman called Sally,

Who loved an occasional dally

She sat on the lap

Of a well endowed chap

And said 'You're right up my alley’.

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By *ea monkeyMan
9 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

There was a young man

From Cork who got limericks

And haikus confused

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
9 weeks ago

Around the Midlands

There was a young girl from Madras

Who had an adorable ass

Not rounded and pink

As you probably think

It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass

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By *vaRose OP   Woman
9 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

These are magnificent keep them coming

There once was a miss from Bordeaux,

Who liked taking things nice and slow.

But give her some gin,

And she’d jump right in

With a grin and a cry of “Let’s go!”

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By *eyond PurityCouple
9 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

The girl stood on the moonlit bridge

Her heart was all aquiver

She gave a cough

Her tits dropped off

And floated down the river

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By *rymedownunderMan
9 weeks ago

London/Australia

There once was a couple of swingers,

Neither of whom were mingers,

They went to bed,

Where one got head,

And the other one gave cunni lingis

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By *ools and the brainCouple
9 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

There was a young lady from Nantucket,

With a minge the size of a bucket,

I can't think of the rest,

Something that rhymes with bucket.

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By *vaRose OP   Woman
9 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

There once was a girl from Eeling, whose lover before her was kneeling.

She said, "Dearest Jim, take your hand from my quim.

I much prefer fucking to feeling."

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By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

There once was a biker named Jack

He was forever working and picking up the slack

One day he said I’m off to get a new bike

But needed stabilisers and got a pink trike

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
9 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

An old forum tart name of Eva

Craved kisses that filled her with fever

She liked sensual sex

From men in tight kecks

And forced them to stare at her beaver

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By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

There once was a man on fab

Which made him quite angry and sad

The weeks rolled by

Nobody replied

No he’s in the forum having a cry.

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By *vaRose OP   Woman
9 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork


"An old forum tart name of Eva

Craved kisses that filled her with fever

She liked sensual sex

From men in tight kecks

And forced them to stare at her beaver

"

🤣

I fucking love this

Can I quote you on my profile please Granny?

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By *oldyoudown41Man
9 weeks ago

Oxfordshire

Hickory Dickory Dock

The mouse ran up the clock

The mouse came down

He’s arse was brown

And so was the cuckoo’s cock

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By *elly and daveCouple
9 weeks ago

gateshead

[Removed by poster at 12/05/25 19:06:48]

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By *elly and daveCouple
9 weeks ago

gateshead

[Removed by poster at 12/05/25 19:08:56]

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By *oldyoudown41Man
9 weeks ago

Oxfordshire

There was a young man from Mauritius

Who said he’s last fuck was delicious

But the next time I’ll cum

It will be in your bum

Cause the scab on your cunt was suspicious

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By *ortySwitchMan
9 weeks ago

london

EvaRose came originally from Reno

Where she lost all cash playing keno

So she lay on her back

Opened her crack

And now she owns the casino!

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By *r.ZeistolfMan
9 weeks ago

Nottingham

A sultry young vixen from Bath,

Enjoyed taking her lovers off-path.

With a whisper and grin,

She’d draw them all in—

Then finished them off with a laugh.

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By *oldyoudown41Man
9 weeks ago

Oxfordshire

Old Mother Hubert

Went to the cupboard

To give old doggy a bone

Mother bent over

Rover took over

And gave her a bone of he’s own

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By *ust want fun 888Man
9 weeks ago

nearby

There was a girl called Daisy,

Who actually was very lazy,

When she pulled on her tits,

She would get the shits,

And all that from a friend called Maisie

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By *ORDERMANMan
9 weeks ago

wrexham(south)

There once was a monk from Siberia

Whose morals were a little inferior,

He did to a nun

What he shouldn't have done

And now she is a Morher Superior.

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By *vaRose OP   Woman
9 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork


"EvaRose came originally from Reno

Where she lost all cash playing keno

So she lay on her back

Opened her crack

And now she owns the casino! "

👏👏👏👏👏 love it

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By *elly and daveCouple
9 weeks ago

gateshead

There was a young man from ?

Who swallowed a packet of ?

In less than an ?

His ? Was a ?

And his ? Was all covered in ?

Fill in to make it ryhme.

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By *rAitchMan
9 weeks ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

She begged and she pleaded for more

He said "but we've already had four

And I know it's absurd

But I'm sure that you've heard

That eros, spelled backwards, is sore

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
9 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle


"An old forum tart name of Eva

Craved kisses that filled her with fever

She liked sensual sex

From men in tight kecks

And forced them to stare at her beaver

🤣

I fucking love this

Can I quote you on my profile please Granny?"

But of course....... especially if it's in BIG

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By *hynot xCouple
9 weeks ago

Sligo

There once was a girl from Australia,

Who tattoo'd her ass with a Dahlia,

While tuppence a smell went very well,

Thruppence a lick was a failure.

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By *llaboutthe7sCouple
9 weeks ago

halifax

There was an old lass from westhoughton

Who had one long tit 'n one short 'un

On top of all that

She had a big hairy twat

And a fart like a 750 norton

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By *rHotNottsMan
9 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

There was an Arab lady who loved to do washing

White shirts, sheets and towels all sloshing

The cycle ended she reached in & was stuck

Neighbour tried in vain to pull her out - no luck

So he got his cock out and enjoyed a bit of sploshing

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By *uckboy786Man
9 weeks ago

London

There once was a man from Cancun

Who took a young girl to his room,

Where they argued all night,

About who had the right,

To do what and how much and to whom.

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By *istalloverCouple
9 weeks ago

Pays de la Loire -Normandie -Brittany borderFrance

The grand Old Duke of York

He said he couldn't sweat

He gave a girl 12 million quid

Who he said he'd never met

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
9 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

There was this goth chick named Davina,

In the bedroom you just should've seen her,

She blew all the men,

Whipped her knicks off and then,

Scared the lot when they checked out her peena!

😏

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By *eading beddingMan
9 weeks ago

Berks

There once was a man from Berks,

Who’d frequent the woods and parks.

He’d howl at the moon,

Like a crazed old baboon,

But was always up with the larks!

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By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

There was a young man on the forum

Who's comments lacked taste and decorum

He started a thread

That nobody read

As everyone chose to ignore him.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
9 weeks ago

Leeds


"There was a young man from ?

Who swallowed a packet of ?

In less than an ?

His ? Was a ?

And his ? Was all covered in ?

Fill in to make it ryhme."

There was a young man from Leeds

Who swallowed a packet of seeds

In less than a hour

His cock was a flower

And his arse was all covered in s

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By *ackformore100Man
9 weeks ago

Tin town

There was a hot wife in her prime

Took her lovers four at a time

By the evening her quim

Was filled to the brim

With warm creamy spunky slime

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By *allySlinkyWoman
9 weeks ago

Leeds


"

And his arse was all covered in w e e d s

"

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By *ackformore100Man
9 weeks ago

Tin town

There was a bull from durham

Who liked to tell everyone

Their wife he would use

Any time that hed chose

And send her home after he'd done

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By *ild_oatsMan
9 weeks ago

the land of saints & sinners

There was a young man from Crickhowell

Whose habits were incredibly foul

He ate leper’s shit

Drank pr0stitute’s piss

And the scrapping from a sanitary towel

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By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

There was a young witch called Mable

Who's periods were tremendously stable, with the aid of a spoon, right under the moon, she drank herself under the table.

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By *rostgiantMan
9 weeks ago

Wilts

There was a young sailor from Brighton,

Who said to his girl, "You're a tight one."

She replied, "Bless my soul,

You're in the wrong hole;

There's plenty of room in the right one.

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By *ild_oatsMan
9 weeks ago

the land of saints & sinners

There was a young woman from Ealing

Who had a peculiar feeling

She lay on her back

And opened her crack

Then squirted all over the ceiling

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By *isskxxyvWoman
9 weeks ago

Reading

There once was a girl from Scotland.

She decided to have sex in the sand.

Regret quickly appeared, she vowed to only have sex on land.

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By *partharmonyCouple
9 weeks ago

Ruislip

There is an old lady from Slough

Who last year developed a cough

She wasn't to know

It would last until now

I hope the old dear pulls through.

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By *partharmonyCouple
9 weeks ago

Ruislip


"There was a young lady from Nantucket,

With a minge the size of a bucket,

I can't think of the rest,

Something that rhymes with bucket."

There once was a man from Nantucket

Who kept all his cash in a bucket.

But his daughter, named Nan,

Ran away with a man

And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

There was a young man from Nantucket

Whose dick was so long he could suck it.

He said with a grin

As he wiped off his chin,

"If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it."

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By *partharmonyCouple
9 weeks ago

Ruislip

[Removed by poster at 13/05/25 17:25:57]

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By *partharmonyCouple
9 weeks ago

Ruislip

Here are two that I wrote which I'm very pleased with...

On a date with a girl named Maria

I ordered a giant tortilla

I added too much

Spice and chilli and such

And left early with bad diarrhoea.

-

The prince desired young Cinderella

Of her beauty he'd tell 'er and tell 'er

His mind changed no doubt

When he fumbled about

And found Cinders was really a feller.

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