FabSwingers.com forum: Replying privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
13 weeks ago

Why do people feel the need to reply to forum posts privately, usually because they disagree with your comment, why not just say it publicly?

Is it a fear of backlash?

Is it you don't want to publicly state your opinion?

Surely that's what the forums are for?

Maybe I'm mistaken, but replying privately with some shit just no, have the balls to say it on the post.

Anyway have a lovely day all.

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By *ichxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxMan
13 weeks ago

Skipton

No idea but maybe they fancy the person and it's a icebreaker

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By *ortyairCouple
13 weeks ago

Wallasey

I get loads replying saying they agree with what I've said but stay quiet on tge thread especially when I'm getting pesters haha,

Mrs x

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By *GoodGirlGemxCouple
13 weeks ago

Glasgow

"Why do people feel the need to reply to forum posts privately, usually because they disagree with your comment, why not just say it publicly?

Is it a fear of backlash?

Is it you don't want to publicly state your opinion?

Surely that's what the forums are for?

Maybe I'm mistaken, but replying privately with some shit just no, have the balls to say it on the post.

Anyway have a lovely day all."

I agree I think there should be an option to block reply privately in account settings

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By *ortyairCouple
13 weeks ago

Wallasey

"I get loads replying saying they agree with what I've said but stay quiet on tge thread especially when I'm getting pesters haha,

Mrs x"
Pelters not pesters ffs, Mrs x

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
13 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"Why do people feel the need to reply to forum posts privately?"

Some people are weird. I just leave it at that.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
13 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Leeds/London

A few do that to me. I wonder why not just say it in the forum. Maybe they are banned?

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By *ollyPocket75Woman
13 weeks ago

Aberdeen

If they can't reply on the forum could be a reason, I get people messaging me to tell me about comments I've made in the forum. I don't know how you'd get around it other than to block

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By *estructionDollyWoman
13 weeks ago

Manchester

This is one of my pet hates.

Unless we are friends and there's an "in joke" somewhere or a flirt, stop replying privately and keep it to the forums please. I don't want 30 private conversations with randoms about the same topic.

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By *issmorganWoman
13 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Or they want to slide in your dms to be creepy that's the other thing I find.

It puts me off certain threads now like the fab a fella thursday. If I take part, I generally say no need to inbox me to thank me. Yet you still get the ones trying their luck, because you've fabbed a pic.

Doesn't mean I wanna meet ya, I wouldn't assume that everyone who fabs my pics, wants to meet me.

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By *eroLondonMan
13 weeks ago

Mayfair

Some of the most memorable engagements I've had with women was on the back of me messaging them via a thread, ostensibly as part of some forum game or photo challenge.

Consistently their responses were favourable because they were always/mostly reticent in making the first move.

However, it's been quite a while since I've seen anyone utter the lamentable words "please keep it to the thread!!!". Is it no longer 'vogue'?

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By *eroLondonMan
13 weeks ago

Mayfair

"Why do people feel the need to reply to forum posts privately?

Some people are weird. I just leave it at that."

•

Ah, but sometimes 'weird' can manifest itself to a world of endless possibilities. Besides, a quirky quim is not to be sniffed at. 🙂

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By *riannaCDTV/TS
13 weeks ago

Bham

"Why do people feel the need to reply to forum posts privately, usually because they disagree with your comment, why not just say it publicly?

Is it a fear of backlash?

Is it you don't want to publicly state your opinion?

Surely that's what the forums are for?

Maybe I'm mistaken, but replying privately with some shit just no, have the balls to say it on the post.

Anyway have a lovely day all."

Almost all of my posts lol

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By *r SensualMan
13 weeks ago

London

I only ever do off the back of a forum game, never anytime else.

Have a had a few people reply privately to me after one of my more “opinionated” posts to argue or make a snark remark only for them to block me before I get a chance to clap back LOL 🤭😁

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By *ackformore100Man
13 weeks ago

Tin town

"Why do people feel the need to reply to forum posts privately, usually because they disagree with your comment, why not just say it publicly?

Is it a fear of backlash?

Is it you don't want to publicly state your opinion?

Surely that's what the forums are for?

Maybe I'm mistaken, but replying privately with some shit just no, have the balls to say it on the post.

Anyway have a lovely day all."

It's there as an option so people are going to use it. If people don't want to get replies don't post.

As to why they do it ? Who knows? only they can respond to that.

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By *heerFlirtMan
13 weeks ago

Quite near Bath usually

"Why do people feel the need to reply to forum posts privately, usually because they disagree with your comment, why not just say it publicly?

Is it a fear of backlash?

Is it you don't want to publicly state your opinion?

Surely that's what the forums are for?

Maybe I'm mistaken, but replying privately with some shit just no, have the balls to say it on the post.

Anyway have a lovely day all."

It does irritate, I got a completely random private message the content of which could have been stated on the forum thread. 🤷🏼‍♂️

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
13 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"A few do that to me. I wonder why not just say it in the forum. Maybe they are banned? "

I regularly get comments from someone who was banned.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
13 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Thread has closed, there's something you want to respond to without opening a whole new can of worms with a new theead. Okay, private message is fine.

Reply to forum post [something that hasn't had a reply in months] hey Ur hot, those ones can fuck off 💜

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
13 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

"A few do that to me. I wonder why not just say it in the forum. Maybe they are banned?

I regularly get comments from someone who was banned. "

There was a couple of those that would always word vomit into my inbox because they were banned. I asked them to stop, and then blocked them when they inevitably didn't 💜

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
13 weeks ago

southampton

It's an option on the Forum, maybe don't go on the Forum if you don't like the option existing or run a campaign to have the option removed.

Yes,have a nice day.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
13 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"A few do that to me. I wonder why not just say it in the forum. Maybe they are banned?

I regularly get comments from someone who was banned.

There was a couple of those that would always word vomit into my inbox because they were banned. I asked them to stop, and then blocked them when they inevitably didn't 💜"

I may do that. Thing is, it isn't abusive, it's just they think they're either playing devil's advocate or "challenging" me. 🙄

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
13 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

"A few do that to me. I wonder why not just say it in the forum. Maybe they are banned?

I regularly get comments from someone who was banned.

There was a couple of those that would always word vomit into my inbox because they were banned. I asked them to stop, and then blocked them when they inevitably didn't 💜

I may do that. Thing is, it isn't abusive, it's just they think they're either playing devil's advocate or "challenging" me. 🙄"

Yup.

It could well be the same ones I blocked. It was never outright rude or whatever. I just really couldn't be arsed debating it in two places at once.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

I've actually had my best chats and opportunities for getting to know other people off of the back of forum posts so I'm quite welcoming of random messages even from guys (who I'm not looking for!)

Some good laughs but also the low effort "Hi, how's you?"...i appreciate that women and couples are inundated with these messages and it's a pain....but I'm just glad of some responses.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

I personally don’t have an issue with it all.

I have had some great chats with people who have messaged me off a thread.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
13 weeks ago

Reading

Usually attention seeking

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
13 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Leeds/London

"I personally don’t have an issue with it all.

I have had some great chats with people who have messaged me off a thread. "

I don’t think messages off a thread are the issue Jack, more the argumentative types who do it rather than just disagree on the thread.

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By *ortyairCouple
13 weeks ago

Wallasey

Must admit I've been guilty of DMing some if the thread got closed. But it's never been to abuse someone, on the very rare occasion I've done this over normally apologise for misreading something and then saying something I've regretted on the forum.

But it has been exceptionally rare, count the occasions on one hand kind of thing, Mrs x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
13 weeks ago

"Thread has closed, there's something you want to respond to without opening a whole new can of worms with a new theead. Okay, private message is fine.

Reply to forum post [something that hasn't had a reply in months] hey Ur hot, those ones can fuck off 💜"

I mean just in general it's usually someone who wants to spout shite but dare not do it publicly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
13 weeks ago

"I personally don’t have an issue with it all.

I have had some great chats with people who have messaged me off a thread. "

I don't in games, general chit chat, but when it's just to moan about something you've posted, least have the balls to do it publicly.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
13 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

They usually comment about the thread and if you reply they then ask about meeting, thinking it’s a way in.

It’s a way in, if you fit our criteria, don’t have dick or action pics and/or a blank profile. It’s a way in if we find you hot.

Our standard doesn’t drop cos you’ve sent us a message via a forum post 😬

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

I have done it once and it was to offer an alternative view to something they had posted. I simply didn’t want to appear to be calling out someone publicly or trying to start an online row. We messaged back and forth, agreed to disagree and moved on.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

"I personally don’t have an issue with it all.

I have had some great chats with people who have messaged me off a thread.

I don't in games, general chit chat, but when it's just to moan about something you've posted, least have the balls to do it publicly."

Oh that I agree with.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

Do you mind if i dm you all to get your opinions direct?

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

I only reply privately if it's someone I talk to and I'm trying not to make it obvious I do!

I always find it quite amusing when people reply to me off the back of stuff.

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
13 weeks ago

The Velvet Den of Desire

I like to lamp post piss at every opportunity on social media.

I don’t have the nerve to send a DM. You women scare the shit outta me.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

I've had a few private messages from forums.i don't mind as seemed to be nice people.

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By *a LunaWoman
13 weeks ago

o o OO o o

I tend to get private replies when I mention I like cock pics.

Not as many as I’d like mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

I’ve just found out you can reply to yourself

Honestly I’m going to get loads of messages now and have conversations with myself

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By *inchestersBitchWoman
13 weeks ago

land of overweight munters

"I’ve just found out you can reply to yourself

Honestly I’m going to get loads of messages now and have conversations with myself "

At least you know you'll get along

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

"I’ve just found out you can reply to yourself

Honestly I’m going to get loads of messages now and have conversations with myself

At least you know you'll get along

That’s not guaranteed 🤣🤣

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By *aizyWoman
13 weeks ago

west midlands

"I’ve just found out you can reply to yourself

Honestly I’m going to get loads of messages now and have conversations with myself "

It is so annoying tho seeing at the top of your profile you have msged yourself, and you can't remember what you said to yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

I’ve suddenly had 8 messages in 4 minutes. It’s great 🤣🤣

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By *inchestersBitchWoman
13 weeks ago

land of overweight munters

There's a particular profile that lurks more than posts and likes to point out the 'phobics' and the 'sympathy wanters'

I'm pretty certain I'm not the only one who they've messaged

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
13 weeks ago

The Velvet Den of Desire

"I’ve suddenly had 8 messages in 4 minutes. It’s great 🤣🤣"

Did you ask for dick too?

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By *ea monkeyMan
13 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

Sometimes it’s because of a ban and they’re lurking

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

"I’ve suddenly had 8 messages in 4 minutes. It’s great 🤣🤣

Did you ask for dick too? "

It’s not that impressive

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
13 weeks ago

The Velvet Den of Desire

"I’ve suddenly had 8 messages in 4 minutes. It’s great 🤣🤣

Did you ask for dick too?

It’s not that impressive "

Dick never normaly is.

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By *ackformore100Man
13 weeks ago

Tin town

"I’ve just found out you can reply to yourself

Honestly I’m going to get loads of messages now and have conversations with myself "

Don't ignore yourself though

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
13 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"I personally don’t have an issue with it all.

I have had some great chats with people who have messaged me off a thread. "

😏💕

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
13 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"Not as many as I’d like mind."

Ba-dum-tish.

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By *aizyWoman
13 weeks ago

west midlands

I miss my forum lurker, never saw him post on the forums but everytime I posted something he'd msg me to tell me how and why I was wrong with whatever it was I had said, haven't heard from him in ages.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

"I miss my forum lurker, never saw him post on the forums but everytime I posted something he'd msg me to tell me how and why I was wrong with whatever it was I had said, haven't heard from him in ages."

I’ve got one of those, I’ve named him Brian. He’s quite cute.

Oh how we laugh. Although I don’t think Brian is even able to smile, but I assume he’s laughing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
13 weeks ago

I think we may have the same one 🤣

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By *ora the explorerWoman
13 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

I get it a lot. Especially when I don’t agree with the majority on a thread. Have the balls to bloody post it on the thread!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
13 weeks ago

"I get it a lot. Especially when I don’t agree with the majority on a thread. Have the balls to bloody post it on the thread!"

Exactly this, I've had one from this thread 😂 should have expected it really but unless they can stand by their views and air them here I ain't interested.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
13 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

"I get it a lot. Especially when I don’t agree with the majority on a thread. Have the balls to bloody post it on the thread!

Exactly this, I've had one from this thread 😂 should have expected it really but unless they can stand by their views and air them here I ain't interested."

Yep I agree!

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By *ealitybitesMan
13 weeks ago

Belfast

A couple of years ago a woman started a thread exactly like this and was extremely angry about the Muppets contacting her privately through a forum comment.

I said something on the thread and without the slightest hint of irony she responded to me via a private message.

I had no option but to call her out on it in the thread and got a load of nasty messages from both her and her forum friends for trying to make her look foolish.

A few months ago a couple started a thread about something here in the lounge and not one word in their post aligned with their profile which was full of contradiction.

I asked a few questions in the thread and they insisted on only replying to me privately.

Each time they did that I asked in the thread if they were afraid to answer publicly and that kicked off half a dozen or so really nasty private messages but they never once responded to me on the thread which they had started themselves.

Some people have curated public images that are very far removed from their real personas and they don't want to tarnish that by saying anything publicly.

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By *acchus LyaeosMan
13 weeks ago

London

I've never messaged anyone from forums privately except when it was the point of the post. I can't really fathom why someone would DM on a forum post, but I suppose some people wanna try their luck and others like abusing but are too scared to do it in public.

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By *urves and MischiefWoman
13 weeks ago

North West

Maybe it’s the same one I had recently!

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By *ealitybitesMan
13 weeks ago

Belfast

"Must admit I've been guilty of DMing some if the thread got closed. But it's never been to abuse someone, on the very rare occasion I've done this over normally apologise for misreading something and then saying something I've regretted on the forum.

But it has been exceptionally rare, count the occasions on one hand kind of thing, Mrs x"

I don't mind someone asking me privately to explain in more something I've said on a thread.

The only issues I have with it are when people don't engage with me at all publicly and only want the private conversation or when they say one thing to me on the thread and the complete opposite in private .

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By *urves and MischiefWoman
13 weeks ago

North West

Usually lurkers who for whatever reason don’t wish to participate in the forum, those chancing their luck or those I already speak to. The latter I don’t mind, the rest I generally ignore if it’s no part of a game.

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By *aizyWoman
13 weeks ago

west midlands

Maybe it’s the same one I had recently!"

I wonder if he has moved on to you and the Knights?!?

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By *riannaCDTV/TS
13 weeks ago

Bham

[Removed by poster at 25/04/25 17:04:38]

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By *reative-mindMan
13 weeks ago

exeter

I've had this once (I'm so popular) and it was just to tell me that they felt fab wouldn't be suited to someone like me.

What a waste or time.

Just say what you think in public and have done with it.

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By *aomilatteCouple
13 weeks ago

Midlands

We don't get those messages. Are we doing something right, or something wrong?

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By *reative-mindMan
13 weeks ago

exeter

"We don't get those messages. Are we doing something right, or something wrong?

You know what people are going to do now right? Hahaha

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan
13 weeks ago

Manchester / Cardiff

"Why do people feel the need to reply to forum posts privately, usually because they disagree with your comment, why not just say it publicly?

Is it a fear of backlash?

Is it you don't want to publicly state your opinion?

Surely that's what the forums are for?

Maybe I'm mistaken, but replying privately with some shit just no, have the balls to say it on the post.

Anyway have a lovely day all."

The urge to reply privately to this is strong!! and I bet a pound to a penny some have caved! 🤣🤣

I do reply privately, either if the thread's hit 175 and I'd like to respond to someone, or if it's a game type thread, or just simply something positive I'd like to say but not turn it into a gush-fest on the thread (pet hate).

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
13 weeks ago

little house on the praire

I get nice messages only ever had one bad one but he had it in for everyone.

If I send them it's usually day something nice or in support.

I get plenty of fucking weirdos messaging me on the back of kink threads even when I say I'm not into it

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By *ildTimes.Man
13 weeks ago

Wherever I May Roam

I have the same guy messaging me 😂 he never posts though 🥪

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By *umagain58Man
13 weeks ago

London

It depends on the topic and what person indicates they might like. Not uncommon some encourage private replies. I have been lucky like that as met some doing. Otherwise yes post in forum

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By *ealitybitesMan
13 weeks ago

Belfast

There used to be someone who made very wordy and at times extremely creepy comments on the forums and he stopped suddenly.

A handful of new arrivals started posting things that only he would say and when challenged they said he had contacted them privately to post on his behalf as he was no longer able to.

During that discussion it turned out he had also asked some long standing contributers to do likewise but they had refused.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
13 weeks ago

"A couple of years ago a woman started a thread exactly like this and was extremely angry about the Muppets contacting her privately through a forum comment.

I said something on the thread and without the slightest hint of irony she responded to me via a private message.

I had no option but to call her out on it in the thread and got a load of nasty messages from both her and her forum friends for trying to make her look foolish.

A few months ago a couple started a thread about something here in the lounge and not one word in their post aligned with their profile which was full of contradiction.

I asked a few questions in the thread and they insisted on only replying to me privately.

Some people have curated public images that are very far removed from their real personas and they don't want to tarnish that by saying anything publicly. "

Yes now this I agree with, people's public/forum image they like to keep clean so only reply privately, it's sad they can't just be themselves really and own their views.

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By *os19Man
13 weeks ago

Edmonton

"Why do people feel the need to reply to forum posts privately, usually because they disagree with your comment, why not just say it publicly?

Is it a fear of backlash?

Is it you don't want to publicly state your opinion?

Surely that's what the forums are for?

Maybe I'm mistaken, but replying privately with some shit just no, have the balls to say it on the post.

Anyway have a lovely day all."
. I think it’s what you said about fear of backlash.In the past I have received private messages from people who have seen my comments in the forum and have wanted to get more information.It’s usually to do with Rios or OP4F which is fine if it helps clear their curiosity.

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