FabSwingers.com forum: Self confidence

By *reative-mind OP Man
3 weeks ago

exeter

How do you go about getting your self confidence back?

We all have those time when it's been a bit knocked or dented a bit.

Currently mine is a bit battered, I'm applying for jobs in my chosen field of work after working for free for a few years and obviously as a single bloke fab can be a bit tricky, the result being the rejections although part of life and understandable do take their toll a bit.

I often see other people saying somthing similar about fab or life so what tips do you have for getting your self confidence back when you have been in this situation?

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By *iker JackMan
3 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

With regard to fan or any social media I remove myself for a time

However I have also learned and accepted that I’m here for the forums now and that’s perfect for me.

Anything outside of that is a bonus

I have just started a new place of work, well within the last few months. I learned very quickly that what I have is not what they always want but I do have a value and someone will see that

I take a step back. Look at the world. A close look. The things around me. The garden the whatever and realise then that if I remove some pressure and find my happy place then the confidence comes back

I will never ever let anyone make me feel like I’m an effort anymore

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By *ildTimes.Man
3 weeks ago

Wherever I May Roam

I just look in the mirror 🥪

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

I say this with the best of intentions, but from my experience, fab has more of a negative affect on the majority of male users than positive. It’s addictive for a lot of folks too. I find normal real life things do it for me, nature, outdoors, walks with my dog, time doing useful things and helping others - that really builds the foundations of worth and confidence. All the likes and replies on fab are just glitter for rolling in, they’re not a true reflection of your value, which is something only you know and only you can work on…

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By *eoBloomsMan
3 weeks ago

Springfield

I would try to build your confidence up outside of Fab, and definitely not look to Fab to build your confidence. It can be a brutal environment for single men and I think you need a level of resilience to have a positive experience here.

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By *ansoffateMan
3 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

The only confidence I have is that I'll get a kicking from life again at some point. And I'll eventually brush it off and keep going.

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By *oughmanMan
3 weeks ago

Sunderland

It's taken a very long time to even try and build self confidence again. In fact fab has actually helped with that. Which tells you how low it actually was. 😅

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By *oreplayer88Man
3 weeks ago

Aberystwyth

I imagine the job market is incredibly tough at the moment. I took a desk job outside of my typical field six years ago and it's been financially rewarding but not intellectually challenging. If I were in your shoes I would focus on gaining confidence in other arenas get yourself some job security and everything else will soon fall into place but be mindful to look after your mental health as rejections of any kind can bring you down, just have to keep moving forward till something clicks into place.

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan
3 weeks ago

Manchester / Cardiff

"I just look in the mirror 🥪"

☝️ I have a poster of this guy on my wall with the slogan "one day you WILL be this good, don't give up" 😜🥪

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By *eoBloomsMan
3 weeks ago

Springfield

"I just look in the mirror 🥪

☝️ I have a poster of this guy on my wall with the slogan "one day you WILL be this good, don't give up" 😜🥪"

I don't know Dai, all I eat now is sandwiches and I still ain't got that body

🥪🥪🥪

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By *ildTimes.Man
3 weeks ago

Wherever I May Roam

"I just look in the mirror 🥪

☝️ I have a poster of this guy on my wall with the slogan "one day you WILL be this good, don't give up" 😜🥪

I don't know Dai, all I eat now is sandwiches and I still ain't got that body

🥪🥪🥪"

The secret is actually Pizza ...don't tell anyone! 🍕

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/London

I find pushing myself to do things which make me nervous or apprehensive have helped enormously with my self confidence.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
3 weeks ago

Reading

Fake it til you make it had always worked for me.

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By *HUSH-Man
3 weeks ago

London

"I would try to build your confidence up outside of Fab, and definitely not look to Fab to build your confidence. It can be a brutal environment for single men and I think you need a level of resilience to have a positive experience here."

I wholeheartedly agree with this. If you’re not feeling too good about yourself FAB will make it worse.

Taking a break, a long one if needed and redirecting that time into something that perhaps you’ve been neglecting like a hobby or passion will start the process of building you back up.

I very nearly left FAB a few months ago. I’m pleased I didn’t. I was just burnt out and needed some headspace.

All the best to you OP. 🍻

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By *rHotNottsMan
3 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Hey, I hear a lot advice bundled around about this but I think your confidence comes from who you are as a person and your achievements, although it can take a battering when you don’t get chosen for a job, date, etc, I think if you rely on those things it’s often short-lived and not a long lasting confidence.

When I’m feeling a little low on confidence, I remember my achievements as well as everyday things people I’ve helped challenges I’ve overcome, and I keep making sure I’m topping up the tank even if it’s just getting up early eating something healthy and going for a run on a bad day These actions , consistently long-term make you feel good about yourself, achieving things being a good person, rather than the things you don’t have control over… Being chosen, liked by others

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By *hNo.Its.PierrotMan
3 weeks ago

London

I've never had any to begin with, let alone get back.

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

"I just look in the mirror 🥪

☝️ I have a poster of this guy on my wall with the slogan "one day you WILL be this good, don't give up" 😜🥪"

I have it on my dart board

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Here is not a good place if you lack confidence. Even as a female, you can't help but compare yourself to others and it's just full of false compliments.

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
3 weeks ago

A Dirty Hole

I have a beer and I try again.

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By *ildTimes.Man
3 weeks ago

Wherever I May Roam

"I just look in the mirror 🥪

☝️ I have a poster of this guy on my wall with the slogan "one day you WILL be this good, don't give up" 😜🥪

I have it on my dart board"

I don't have haters...just fans in denial 😉🥪

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

"I just look in the mirror 🥪

☝️ I have a poster of this guy on my wall with the slogan "one day you WILL be this good, don't give up" 😜🥪

I have it on my dart board

I don't have haters...just fans in denial 😉🥪"

Oh tis true.

I can't resist.

Take me.

Please, someone, just take me.

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By *ildTimes.Man
3 weeks ago

Wherever I May Roam

[Removed by poster at 22/04/25 18:44:50]

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By *ucka39Man
3 weeks ago

Newcastle

I don't let anything take over my entire life, social media is just that, anything that you choose to use shouldn't have a negative impact don't read too much into it

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By *ildTimes.Man
3 weeks ago

Wherever I May Roam

[Removed by poster at 22/04/25 18:45:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

"I just look in the mirror 🥪

☝️ I have a poster of this guy on my wall with the slogan "one day you WILL be this good, don't give up" 😜🥪

I have it on my dart board

I don't have haters...just fans in denial 😉🥪

Oh tis true.

I can't resist.

Take me.

Please, someone, just take me.

Cue Tumbles 🥪

Also true, unfortunately I'm not in the little gang.

Woe is me.

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By *ildTimes.Man
3 weeks ago

Wherever I May Roam

"I just look in the mirror 🥪

☝️ I have a poster of this guy on my wall with the slogan "one day you WILL be this good, don't give up" 😜🥪

I have it on my dart board

I don't have haters...just fans in denial 😉🥪

Oh tis true.

I can't resist.

Take me.

Please, someone, just take me.

Cue Tumbles 🥪

Also true, unfortunately I'm not in the little gang.

Woe is me.

Apparently that word is banned , who'd have thunk it...anyway good to see you back, really brightens the place up 🥪

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By *oeBeansMan
3 weeks ago

Derby

I generally get it back with a bit of time having weathered the emotional storm and find that if it's particularly one thing knocking my self confidence, then to focus more energy on making sure other things in my life are going well. Distractions can be a hell of cure for reminding yourself that you're not a total piece of trash

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By *ensualSwitchMan
3 weeks ago

brighton

I've had moments that have knocked my confidence over the years specifically regarding fab activities.

Just keep 'placing those bets' never give up and as has been said in other posts push yourself out your comfort zone, grow in other areas of life and that will have a spill over effect

And if you need to take time away from here that's ok, it's important to push yourself but not necessarily take on things you're not ready for

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By *reative-mind OP Man
3 weeks ago

exeter

Thank you for all the replies and advice guys, really appreciate it.

Going to get my ass outside tomorrow evening for a jog.... and maybe a very long break from fab/Social media in my personal life.

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By *eaponofdustructionMan
3 weeks ago

Norwich

With social media ect everyone is trying to be like them ( someone else) be you ! achieve your goals we are all different be happy with who you are and you will have self confidence

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