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"Nothing puts me off. I dare you to try. " So tempting! Have you not spoken before about your dislike of smoking? That could count.  | |||
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"Nothing puts me off. I dare you to try. So tempting! Have you not spoken before about your dislike of smoking? That could count. "m There’s nothing a couple of tic-tacs can’t solve | |||
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"Not really. I just know what I want and like. Other people say I am so I accept it. There’s so much that needs to be right for me to meet someone but that’s just the way I am. If it’s seen as picky I’m fine with that though. " Oh. That surprises me Nora, I didn't have you down as someone who'd readily accept another's description of you. 
I don't think that is being picky. You know, wanting things to be a certain way for you to meet them etc. It's knowing what you like. | |||
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"Not really. I just know what I want and like. Other people say I am so I accept it. There’s so much that needs to be right for me to meet someone but that’s just the way I am. If it’s seen as picky I’m fine with that though. Oh. That surprises me Nora, I didn't have you down as someone who'd readily accept another's description of you.
I don't think that is being picky. You know, wanting things to be a certain way for you to meet them etc. It's knowing what you like."Haha. It’s never bothered me what people call me Meli. I don’t have to agree 🤣 | |||
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"I don't like fussy, but having standards is different altogether I think." What's fussy? As in that particular term on Fab. Yes. I'm not sure I'd describe them as standards but I do kind of understand the difference. | |||
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"Not picky just selective as to whom I’d like to chat or meet with." Aren't the majority of people? | |||
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"I'd say yes, only in the sense that I need to feel a high level of attraction and chemistry with someone to want to have sex with them, even in a club environment. I rarely play with total strangers in a club who I've never interacted with before. I can't really have sex with someone if I don't "feel" it. I have done in the past, and I didn't enjoy it. That absolutely doesn't mean a person has to "look" a certain way. It's much more about how our personalities, interests/desires, and needs fit together. " You have put it so much better than I could, I wouldn't call it being picky, more I know what I like. | |||
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"I'm not picky, I just hate everyone and everything. "Ok hate is maybe too strong a word. Passionately dislike | |||
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"I'd say yes, only in the sense that I need to feel a high level of attraction and chemistry with someone to want to have sex with them, even in a club environment. I rarely play with total strangers in a club who I've never interacted with before. I can't really have sex with someone if I don't "feel" it. I have done in the past, and I didn't enjoy it. That absolutely doesn't mean a person has to "look" a certain way. It's much more about how our personalities, interests/desires, and needs fit together. You have put it so much better than I could, I wouldn't call it being picky, more I know what I like." Yes, maybe that's more it. I know what I want, and more importantly what I don't want 😊 If that's picky or not is debatable. | |||
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"To other people, I expect we both seem ‘picky’. A more accurate assessment is that we are looking for chemistry, that mysterious alchemy between people that somehow conjures an erotic frisson. When you add time poor and distant location into the mix, you have a recipe for ‘hardly ever meeting’, and I guess that can be mistaken for picky. " No. I mean you might to other people but not to me. I don't think there's a single person I've come across on Fab I'd describe as picky. It might be because I'm similar to you. Rather time poor, location, insistent on a certain kind of chemistry. I don't think that makes me picky. | |||
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"I wouldn’t as it’s a phrase that almost sounds too prissy. I sort of know what I like but am also happy to go with flow in the moment. So yes, I’m pretty fluid really on that one. " Yes it's not really a great term isn't it? I think my biases have resulted in me having a rather negative view of it. Trying to actively challenge that. | |||
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"I'd say yes, only in the sense that I need to feel a high level of attraction and chemistry with someone to want to have sex with them, even in a club environment. I rarely play with total strangers in a club who I've never interacted with before. I can't really have sex with someone if I don't "feel" it. I have done in the past, and I didn't enjoy it. That absolutely doesn't mean a person has to "look" a certain way. It's much more about how our personalities, interests/desires, and needs fit together. " 100% this Picky sometimes comes across as only interested in looks. For me compatibility is the main reason for me being picky. It’s not just about them being right for me, I also want to be right for them. I want us to collectively have a great time together. Where we can indulge in each other all night and laugh over a coffee the next morning. That’s why I’m picky and I’m VERY happy with the people I’m meeting. | |||
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"I'd say yes, only in the sense that I need to feel a high level of attraction and chemistry with someone to want to have sex with them, even in a club environment. I rarely play with total strangers in a club who I've never interacted with before. I can't really have sex with someone if I don't "feel" it. I have done in the past, and I didn't enjoy it. That absolutely doesn't mean a person has to "look" a certain way. It's much more about how our personalities, interests/desires, and needs fit together. " Ah I see. Perhaps there's a sliding scale of picky? I need friendship before I experience physical desire (98% of the time). No, I don't think there is. At all. Can't take myself too seriously atm.
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"I'm not picky, I just hate everyone and everything. "Oh. Well that really hurts. Thanks Jools.🥲 | |||
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"I'm not picky, I just hate everyone and everything.
Oh. Well that really hurts. Thanks Jools.🥲"Not you obviously, you're lovely everyone knows that xx | |||
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"About 10% of this site attract us sexually. About 5% of this site attract us physically and mentally. Not sure if that’s picky or being a realist. K" Realist. It's not being picky. You know that you're only attracted to a certain percentage. Everyone is, that number varies though. | |||
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"Picky implies to me someone who is slightly too up themselves - they are just just little bit too self important and if something is not perfect then they are going to take their toys away and pout. I think we all have standards but I like to feel I won’t get all arsey if things don’t quite go to plan." I tended towards that definition. Finding fault in small things, often unimportant things. | |||
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"as picky? What does picky mean to you? Would reading someone is picky ever make you more/less likely to message someone? Do you find you have different levels of 'picky'? Like the location might change it - clubs etc. Ovulation. I've typed it so often I'm not sure it's right. Picky. Yeah, I'll go with that spelling." No I wouldn't because for me it implies an assumption of superiority. Therefore it will make me less likely to message someone. I either like someone or I don't and I don't think I have different levels within that but I've never been marrooned on a desert island with only people I don't like, so who knows. | |||
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"Actions always speak louder than words. I'm extremely picky on fab as far as who I choose to get naked with and as such I much prefer to meet people who are just as picky. I tend to avoid those who don't appear to be picky. " Same. Definitely | |||
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"Actions always speak louder than words. I'm extremely picky on fab as far as who I choose to get naked with and as such I much prefer to meet people who are just as picky. I tend to avoid those who don't appear to be picky. " I think everyone chooses who they get naked with, don't they? So everyone is picky? Yeah, I'm still not a fan of the word. I do understand what you're trying to say! Not quite reading picky though. | |||
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"Actions always speak louder than words. I'm extremely picky on fab as far as who I choose to get naked with and as such I much prefer to meet people who are just as picky. I tend to avoid those who don't appear to be picky. I think everyone chooses who they get naked with, don't they? So everyone is picky? Yeah, I'm still not a fan of the word. I do understand what you're trying to say! Not quite reading picky though." Is selective better than picky ? | |||
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"Actions always speak louder than words. I'm extremely picky on fab as far as who I choose to get naked with and as such I much prefer to meet people who are just as picky. I tend to avoid those who don't appear to be picky. I think everyone chooses who they get naked with, don't they? So everyone is picky? Yeah, I'm still not a fan of the word. I do understand what you're trying to say! Not quite reading picky though." Everyone chooses who they get naked with but some people are interested in sex just for the sake of it whereas I'm not. Picky, fussy, selective all mean the same thing to me. I don't advertise that I'm picky in the same way I don't need to tell anyone I'm nice or genuine. That's why I said actions speak louder than words. I've had people tell me they are very picky but they certainly don't act that way. Telling me how picky they are would have no influence on my decision to meet them or not but as I only meet people I chat to for weeks or months it becomes pretty obvious if we are on the same page in regards to being picky/fussy/selective or not. | |||
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"Actions always speak louder than words. I'm extremely picky on fab as far as who I choose to get naked with and as such I much prefer to meet people who are just as picky. I tend to avoid those who don't appear to be picky. I think everyone chooses who they get naked with, don't they? So everyone is picky? Yeah, I'm still not a fan of the word. I do understand what you're trying to say! Not quite reading picky though." Maybe selective or fastidious sounds a bit better? Picky just sounds a little elitist and discriminatory perhaps. | |||
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"Actions always speak louder than words. I'm extremely picky on fab as far as who I choose to get naked with and as such I much prefer to meet people who are just as picky. I tend to avoid those who don't appear to be picky. I think everyone chooses who they get naked with, don't they? So everyone is picky? Yeah, I'm still not a fan of the word. I do understand what you're trying to say! Not quite reading picky though. Maybe selective or fastidious sounds a bit better? Picky just sounds a little elitist and discriminatory perhaps. " Selective to me means choosing carefully; picky, hard to please. There's a crossover but I don't think they mean the same thing. | |||
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"I think being picky can sometimes make you put yourself in a box without being too open minded in what you're looking for. I find it tough to believe everyone has their own type and never stray from it for the right person and if they describe how they're picky, then it might put me off in that I won't believe I would be what they're looking for." I said on another thread this morning that being open-minded doesn't mean having no limits or preferences and just because someone isn't interested in something or someone doesn't mean they are narrow-minded. When I say that I'm extremely picky it has nothing to do with looks or types. I don't have a type and have met women who were all very different. Over the years I've met 60-70 people through fab and I chose to only meet 6 of those a second time for more than a social. 6 people in 9 years is a tiny number for many on here but those people were interesting to me at the time. We had things in common, we got on well for a period of time and even though they weren't always the right choice I have no regrets over my decisions. I could very easily have had sex with many more of those women who were keen and wanted to take things further if I was only interested in sex but I turned them down and once again have no regrets. For me being picky isn't about shutting myself off to suggestions and ideas or being less open-minded. It's very much about knowing exactly what I like and what I want and who I want to share that with. | |||
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"Actions always speak louder than words. I'm extremely picky on fab as far as who I choose to get naked with and as such I much prefer to meet people who are just as picky. I tend to avoid those who don't appear to be picky. I think everyone chooses who they get naked with, don't they? So everyone is picky? Yeah, I'm still not a fan of the word. I do understand what you're trying to say! Not quite reading picky though. Maybe selective or fastidious sounds a bit better? Picky just sounds a little elitist and discriminatory perhaps. Selective to me means choosing carefully; picky, hard to please. There's a crossover but I don't think they mean the same thing." I think that’s the description that was on the tip of my tongue, “hard to please”. I’ll go with that. | |||
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"Actions always speak louder than words. I'm extremely picky on fab as far as who I choose to get naked with and as such I much prefer to meet people who are just as picky. I tend to avoid those who don't appear to be picky. I think everyone chooses who they get naked with, don't they? So everyone is picky? Yeah, I'm still not a fan of the word. I do understand what you're trying to say! Not quite reading picky though. Maybe selective or fastidious sounds a bit better? Picky just sounds a little elitist and discriminatory perhaps. Selective to me means choosing carefully; picky, hard to please. There's a crossover but I don't think they mean the same thing." If someone is hard to please then it's probably because you aren't for them. Say you think someone is hard to have a conversation with, the people they get on with will probably think very differently. People are quick to label someone picky or hard to please etc etc when they aren't who that person wants to meet. It's a you a problem not a them problem. | |||
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"If someone is hard to please then it's probably because you aren't for them." 1,000x yes. So fucking true. The best relationships, sexual or otherwise, feel effortless. | |||
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"Think it’s more about having standards and boundaries. I was told the other day that I’m too fussy and I’m spoiling it for all the men who want to fuck me… oh how I laughed 💜🤣" Quality beats quantity 👍🤓 | |||
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"Actions always speak louder than words. I'm extremely picky on fab as far as who I choose to get naked with and as such I much prefer to meet people who are just as picky. I tend to avoid those who don't appear to be picky. I think everyone chooses who they get naked with, don't they? So everyone is picky? Yeah, I'm still not a fan of the word. I do understand what you're trying to say! Not quite reading picky though. Maybe selective or fastidious sounds a bit better? Picky just sounds a little elitist and discriminatory perhaps. Selective to me means choosing carefully; picky, hard to please. There's a crossover but I don't think they mean the same thing. I think that’s the description that was on the tip of my tongue, “hard to please”. I’ll go with that. " I really wouldn't describe any person on here who thinks of themselves as picky as hard to please. At all. Don't see them as picky in the slightest but it's such a subjective thing. I don't know why I think hard to please is almost worse? It implies to me that it takes a lot to please them and seeing as we're talking about people, meeting them etc.... No. Don't make me laugh.
Selective works though. Obviously it's very individual. | |||
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Jokes aside, I tend to focus more on personality rather than looks, so I am picky in a sense that I tend to gravitate toward women who share interests with me (music, movies, nerdy stuff) and with compatible humour. | |||
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"Picky is a word that could be used but in the same context so could exacting, having standards, choosy, or even fussy. I want chemistry and if that’s lacking then there’s nothing going to happen" And yet... people apply their own meaning to words. I don't think I need to go down the etymology 101 route. It would be a tad patronising, self aware enough to know that for once. :D Yeah, I want chemistry as well. It's a big thing for me. I can't meet people in hotels immediately, do clubs etc. Perhaps there are different levels of chemistry? Pickiness? The latter I'm not convinced, don't worry. | |||
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"Selective and patient. I’m not interested in “meet now”/quick meets. I like to get to know someone first and most don’t have the patience to see that through." Oh I like that description! Brilliant, thank you C&M. | |||
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"Would reading someone is picky ever make you more/less likely to message someone? " Less likely to - if they have a specific type and I’m not what they’re looking for (which, for me, is the case nine times out of ten…) then why waste time? Keep on searching… | |||
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"Unapologetically picky. Definitely "me not them" but small things can really put me off, even if they're pretty irrational to others. " At the same time, would very much be less likely to message someone who described themselves as "extremely picky". Hoisted by my own petard. | |||
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"Not picky just selective as to whom I’d like to chat or meet with. Aren't the majority of people? " I think this thread shows we all have our own thoughts on picky/selective | |||
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"Unapologetically picky. Definitely "me not them" but small things can really put me off, even if they're pretty irrational to others. " What kind of small things? If you don't mind me asking of course! Do you find unapologetic pickiness attractive in others or does it have slightly negative connotations? | |||
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"Actions always speak louder than words. I'm extremely picky on fab as far as who I choose to get naked with and as such I much prefer to meet people who are just as picky. I tend to avoid those who don't appear to be picky. I think everyone chooses who they get naked with, don't they? So everyone is picky? Yeah, I'm still not a fan of the word. I do understand what you're trying to say! Not quite reading picky though. Maybe selective or fastidious sounds a bit better? Picky just sounds a little elitist and discriminatory perhaps. Selective to me means choosing carefully; picky, hard to please. There's a crossover but I don't think they mean the same thing. I think that’s the description that was on the tip of my tongue, “hard to please”. I’ll go with that. I really wouldn't describe any person on here who thinks of themselves as picky as hard to please. At all. Don't see them as picky in the slightest but it's such a subjective thing. I don't know why I think hard to please is almost worse? It implies to me that it takes a lot to please them and seeing as we're talking about people, meeting them etc.... No. Don't make me laugh.
Selective works though. Obviously it's very individual."Yes, it’s perceived meaning of essentially the same thing. To me, choosy or selective doesn’t sound as harsh as picky. Picky has a hard “pinching” sound to it. A bit like fussy and finicky. They sound indecisive and a little negative whereas choosy or maybe discerning sounds more like someone who knows what they want. Obviously this doesn’t change people’s attitude to who they like to meet, it’s just my perception of words. | |||
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"Actions always speak louder than words. I'm extremely picky on fab as far as who I choose to get naked with and as such I much prefer to meet people who are just as picky. I tend to avoid those who don't appear to be picky. I think everyone chooses who they get naked with, don't they? So everyone is picky? Yeah, I'm still not a fan of the word. I do understand what you're trying to say! Not quite reading picky though. Maybe selective or fastidious sounds a bit better? Picky just sounds a little elitist and discriminatory perhaps. Selective to me means choosing carefully; picky, hard to please. There's a crossover but I don't think they mean the same thing. I think that’s the description that was on the tip of my tongue, “hard to please”. I’ll go with that. I really wouldn't describe any person on here who thinks of themselves as picky as hard to please. At all. Don't see them as picky in the slightest but it's such a subjective thing. I don't know why I think hard to please is almost worse? It implies to me that it takes a lot to please them and seeing as we're talking about people, meeting them etc.... No. Don't make me laugh.
Selective works though. Obviously it's very individual.
Yes, it’s perceived meaning of essentially the same thing.
To me, choosy or selective doesn’t sound as harsh as picky. Picky has a hard “pinching” sound to it. A bit like fussy and finicky. They sound indecisive and a little negative whereas choosy or maybe discerning sounds more like someone who knows what they want.
Obviously this doesn’t change people’s attitude to who they like to meet, it’s just my perception of words.
"Also to clarify, my preference for selective over picky was to answer the OP question of whether 'you describe yourself as picky'. I wouldn't, because to me it does encompass 'hard to please' but certainly wasn't labelling anyone else as that. | |||
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"Unapologetically picky. Definitely "me not them" but small things can really put me off, even if they're pretty irrational to others. What kind of small things? If you don't mind me asking of course! Do you find unapologetic pickiness attractive in others or does it have slightly negative connotations?" Oh, not here, Meli. I don't to come across as more of a dickhead than I already do. But, you know, people who say "Pacific" instead of "specific", that kind of thing! 🤣 I'm sure it has negative connotations - but I won't criticise anyone for it. There's room for us all. Just look at Sally Albright. | |||
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"as picky? What does picky mean to you? Would reading someone is picky ever make you more/less likely to message someone? Do you find you have different levels of 'picky'? Like the location might change it - clubs etc. Ovulation. I've typed it so often I'm not sure it's right. Picky. Yeah, I'll go with that spelling." . I am picky AF and I won't settle for anything other than I want I have fillet steak at home, on tap, as and when I want, so my extra curricular activities are taylored to my liking 😁 | |||
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"Sometimes I think I'm picky because I get really annoyed/turned off by random things. Slightly hypocritically, if someone described themselves as picky,I probably wouldn't message but mainly because I'd assume that would mean they wouldn't be interested in me. " Ah, I see a kindred spirit has arrived. | |||
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"Sometimes I think I'm picky because I get really annoyed/turned off by random things. Slightly hypocritically, if someone described themselves as picky,I probably wouldn't message but mainly because I'd assume that would mean they wouldn't be interested in me. Ah, I see a kindred spirit has arrived." Now we can have a tense stand off in which we see who gets annoyed by something minor first | |||
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"Life’s a battlefield at the best of times. We prefer to chat and if the conversation is of a quality we like. Then we continue. It’s doesn’t matter what they look like, it’s personality. The best times we’ve had, has been with people who just genuinely understand life and are willing to interact with honesty. "Life experience it’s important to me And do wonder how much connection I’d have with younger couples and ladies tbh | |||
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"Actions always speak louder than words. I'm extremely picky on fab as far as who I choose to get naked with and as such I much prefer to meet people who are just as picky. I tend to avoid those who don't appear to be picky. I think everyone chooses who they get naked with, don't they? So everyone is picky? Yeah, I'm still not a fan of the word. I do understand what you're trying to say! Not quite reading picky though. Maybe selective or fastidious sounds a bit better? Picky just sounds a little elitist and discriminatory perhaps. Selective to me means choosing carefully; picky, hard to please. There's a crossover but I don't think they mean the same thing. I think that’s the description that was on the tip of my tongue, “hard to please”. I’ll go with that. I really wouldn't describe any person on here who thinks of themselves as picky as hard to please. At all. Don't see them as picky in the slightest but it's such a subjective thing. I don't know why I think hard to please is almost worse? It implies to me that it takes a lot to please them and seeing as we're talking about people, meeting them etc.... No. Don't make me laugh.
Selective works though. Obviously it's very individual.
Yes, it’s perceived meaning of essentially the same thing.
To me, choosy or selective doesn’t sound as harsh as picky. Picky has a hard “pinching” sound to it. A bit like fussy and finicky. They sound indecisive and a little negative whereas choosy or maybe discerning sounds more like someone who knows what they want.
Obviously this doesn’t change people’s attitude to who they like to meet, it’s just my perception of words.
Also to clarify, my preference for selective over picky was to answer the OP question of whether 'you describe yourself as picky'. I wouldn't, because to me it does encompass 'hard to please' but certainly wasn't labelling anyone else as that. "Oh I know you're stating personal preference. I've found the whole thing rather interesting, the badge wearing proud declarations to the absolutely not and the differences in interpretation. There's a lot to be said for the difference in meaning we apply. Picky does have quite a pinching sound. I think for me there's an element of "betterness" in identifying as picky and I can't see it. Not when it comes to who people meet etc. What are the markers we use to say someone is picky when it comes to meeting others? Is there a scale? I rarely meet people who need friendship to find others attractive and even then it's very rare, does that mean I'm extra picky? Pickier than someone who can meet in a club? You can read how that sounds. But that's my own confirmation bias come in to play and perhaps it can also be used in a knowing, 'oh I'm picky' and it's daft way. I'm certain it can be. (P.S not deliberately replying to you Leo, it's more a general but tagged on the bottom of yours!) | |||
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