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Is it a thing?

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By *hocstick OP   Man
4 weeks ago

A log cabin, far far away

So I've know Amy (changed the name for anonymity) since 2005. We worked together for 3 years and became good friends. Just friends. We'd go out for coffee, lunch, cinema etc. I always fancied her as she was a good looking girl but when we worked together she was in a relationship (I was 18, she was 17).

She'd talk to me about everything and vice versa: work, life, family, university course, friends, everything. As I got to know her I got to know her friends circle too. He relationship with her then bf began to breakdown and she leaned on me for support. They eventually broke up. One evening she invited me over for a takeaway and we sat up and talked all night and as you have guessed and as you guessed, we ended up in bed having sex all night, it was incredible. Given this was the first time we'd ever even kissed let alone had sex, it wasn't strange and it felt amazing. This first encounter was about 2008.

After that night we talked about what happened and we both felt we weren't ready for a relationship but thought that we were good friends anyway, why can't we continue to be good friends and also have sex. It worked really well for us.

2008 to 2025 is a long time. In that time she's supported me with all sorts, as friends do, and I've done the same. During this period we've had separate relationships and our friendship has continued and although we initially tried to avoid the physical side, we've ended up having sex too and that's been regular since about 2008. About 7 years ago she met a guy, a nice chap he is. They married within two years and a year later had thier first child. Fast forward to 2025 they have 2 children and another on the way.

Me and Amy are best of friends. Our physical relationship is still there. We don't feel we're doing anything we shouldn't be because that's what our friendship is built on now. We have obviously kept our the physical side of our friendship secret from others but I just wanted to ask or know if anyone has this friendship/set up with someone they've known for a long time. Does it work for you? Should we stop? I'm asking the question purely to see if this is something that does happen or not.

Happy dabbing all

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By *allySlinkyWoman
4 weeks ago

Leeds

Can you imagine how devastated the husband would be to find out his wife has been having an affair throughout the entire marriage and he might not be the father of his three children ?

I am curious if you were invited to the wedding ?

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By *mmaleiaWoman
4 weeks ago

Trowbridge

Every woman has a fall back guy apparently!

She can’t like you that much if she’s married somebody else & had their children?

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By *oodmessMan
4 weeks ago

yumsville

Think you know why it should stop. If you're friends no reason you can't be friends and keep the fucking out of it. You'd have married if you were that tight.

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By *eoBloomsMan
4 weeks ago

Springfield

Could you hook the husband up with someone?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
4 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I have someone I've been seeing on and off for more than 20 years now. The offs being when we were logistically impossible or when one of us was in a relationship where monogamy was the expectation.

These days he's married with kids, he and the Mrs are poly and she knows who I am and what we do. I realised a good few years back that monogamy isn't for me, and have been up front with potential partners about having such existing relationships so they know what they're getting into.

So, it's a thing for me. But with honesty and consent being prioritised 💜

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By *allySlinkyWoman
4 weeks ago

Leeds


" During this period we've had separate relationships

"

Did you tell your partners you were shagging "Amy" ?

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By *issmorganWoman
4 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Ask yourself how you'd feel, if you got into a ltr and then found they were sleeping with one of their close mates, behind your back.Especially If she was carrying your child.

Yes you should stop op, I try not to do anything that I wouldn't want done to me.

It sounds like it's just become a habit for you to continue sleeping together. If you can't go back to being just mates, maybe have some time away from each other.

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By *a LunaWoman
4 weeks ago

Wherever the wind takes me

You both sound awful people. You deserve each other.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
4 weeks ago

Crumpet Castle

It's a thing for some but morally and structurally for this society you can see by the responses you are getting that it's not a thing that doesn't bring judgement.

Of course you should carry on if you want to and so should 'Amy' if she wants to but just get ready for all the many consequences that will happen when you are found out and you will be eventually.

Saddest thing will be when the children involved have their lives turned upside down.

You KNOW it's wrong which is why it's kept secret......

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

I’m sure it’s a thing but I’m out

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By *eoBloomsMan
4 weeks ago

Springfield


"You both sound awful people. You deserve each other."

Amy sounds pretty hot tbf

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By *a LunaWoman
4 weeks ago

Wherever the wind takes me


"You both sound awful people. You deserve each other.

Amy sounds pretty hot tbf"

Only if you’re not married to her.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex

Wait! Does Amy's husband know? How does he feel about this whole set up?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
4 weeks ago

Leeds


"Wait! Does Amy's husband know? How does he feel about this whole set up?"

"We have obviously kept the physical side of our relationship secret from others"

sounds like the husband is unaware

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Wait! Does Amy's husband know? How does he feel about this whole set up?

"We have obviously kept the physical side of our relationship secret from others"

sounds like the husband is unaware"

Well then hasn't Amy got the cake she's also eating. No idea of of ops relationship status but I'd not want to be involved with anyone who thought this was ok.

I'm wondering if this is a social experiment post designed to pass a quiet bank hol.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
4 weeks ago

Leeds


"

I'm wondering if this is a social experiment post designed to pass a quiet bank hol. "

OP hasn't commented on any posts in his thread. Maybe he is busy this bank holiday bonking Amy !

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By *entleman JayMan
4 weeks ago

Wakefield

It’s a web of dishonesty.

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By *hocstick OP   Man
4 weeks ago

A log cabin, far far away

Thanks for your thoughts and comments. To clear up any doubt, "Amy's" husband is aware. He knew how close we were from the off when they got into a relationship. And he is accepting of us. He himself had been in at least 2 open relationships in the past. Where I've said we've kept it secret, is with with friends and family.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Thanks for your thoughts and comments. To clear up any doubt, "Amy's" husband is aware. He knew how close we were from the off when they got into a relationship. And he is accepting of us. He himself had been in at least 2 open relationships in the past. Where I've said we've kept it secret, is with with friends and family."

Then, yes it is a thing.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
4 weeks ago

Leeds

How do you know which of you is the father of the three children ?

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By *ellinever70Woman
4 weeks ago

Ayrshire

How does Amy find the time and the energy?

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By *aizyWoman
4 weeks ago

west midlands


"How does Amy find the time and the energy?"

😂🤣

Exactly what I was thinking!

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By *allySlinkyWoman
4 weeks ago

Leeds


"How does Amy find the time and the energy?"

Especially with three babies in four years.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
4 weeks ago

BRIDPORT


"How does Amy find the time and the energy?"

I thought women were famous for their multitasking

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By *oxychicWoman
4 weeks ago

Nottinghamshire

[Removed by poster at 18/04/25 11:45:45]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"So I've know Amy (changed the name for anonymity) since 2005. We worked together for 3 years and became good friends. Just friends. We'd go out for coffee, lunch, cinema etc. I always fancied her as she was a good looking girl but when we worked together she was in a relationship (I was 18, she was 17).

She'd talk to me about everything and vice versa: work, life, family, university course, friends, everything. As I got to know her I got to know her friends circle too. He relationship with her then bf began to breakdown and she leaned on me for support. They eventually broke up. One evening she invited me over for a takeaway and we sat up and talked all night and as you have guessed and as you guessed, we ended up in bed having sex all night, it was incredible. Given this was the first time we'd ever even kissed let alone had sex, it wasn't strange and it felt amazing. This first encounter was about 2008.

After that night we talked about what happened and we both felt we weren't ready for a relationship but thought that we were good friends anyway, why can't we continue to be good friends and also have sex. It worked really well for us.

2008 to 2025 is a long time. In that time she's supported me with all sorts, as friends do, and I've done the same. During this period we've had separate relationships and our friendship has continued and although we initially tried to avoid the physical side, we've ended up having sex too and that's been regular since about 2008. About 7 years ago she met a guy, a nice chap he is. They married within two years and a year later had thier first child. Fast forward to 2025 they have 2 children and another on the way.

Me and Amy are best of friends. Our physical relationship is still there. We don't feel we're doing anything we shouldn't be because that's what our friendship is built on now. We have obviously kept our the physical side of our friendship secret from others but I just wanted to ask or know if anyone has this friendship/set up with someone they've known for a long time. Does it work for you? Should we stop? I'm asking the question purely to see if this is something that does happen or not.

Happy dabbing all

Oh wow this is so wrong , can u imagine the devastation it's going to cause if her hubby found out , not only to him but her kids aswell , both of you need to end it , "

He knows.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex

Basically this is the set up that lots of people in fab have. One of both partners have sex outside of their marriage by mutual agreement.

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By *oodmessMan
4 weeks ago

yumsville


"Thanks for your thoughts and comments. To clear up any doubt, "Amy's" husband is aware. He knew how close we were from the off when they got into a relationship. And he is accepting of us. He himself had been in at least 2 open relationships in the past. Where I've said we've kept it secret, is with with friends and family."

Wondering why ask if you should stop if everything is above board and he's seeing people too. It seems she's happy, he's happy, you are no doubt happy. If you are not happy it should be easy enough to adult and stop having sex for sake of their family... but as everyone is having sex, you all seem to be doing your thing.

Either this is pure fantasy and you looking for chat on people who cheat or you're rowing back, adding information to appease.

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By *oodmessMan
4 weeks ago

yumsville

* don't mean for that to sound harsh .. just the asks and information in this is confusing.

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By *unner6969Man
4 weeks ago

London


"So I've know Amy (changed the name for anonymity) since 2005. We worked together for 3 years and became good friends. Just friends. We'd go out for coffee, lunch, cinema etc. I always fancied her as she was a good looking girl but when we worked together she was in a relationship (I was 18, she was 17).

She'd talk to me about everything and vice versa: work, life, family, university course, friends, everything. As I got to know her I got to know her friends circle too. He relationship with her then bf began to breakdown and she leaned on me for support. They eventually broke up. One evening she invited me over for a takeaway and we sat up and talked all night and as you have guessed and as you guessed, we ended up in bed having sex all night, it was incredible. Given this was the first time we'd ever even kissed let alone had sex, it wasn't strange and it felt amazing. This first encounter was about 2008.

After that night we talked about what happened and we both felt we weren't ready for a relationship but thought that we were good friends anyway, why can't we continue to be good friends and also have sex. It worked really well for us.

2008 to 2025 is a long time. In that time she's supported me with all sorts, as friends do, and I've done the same. During this period we've had separate relationships and our friendship has continued and although we initially tried to avoid the physical side, we've ended up having sex too and that's been regular since about 2008. About 7 years ago she met a guy, a nice chap he is. They married within two years and a year later had thier first child. Fast forward to 2025 they have 2 children and another on the way.

Me and Amy are best of friends. Our physical relationship is still there. We don't feel we're doing anything we shouldn't be because that's what our friendship is built on now. We have obviously kept our the physical side of our friendship secret from others but I just wanted to ask or know if anyone has this friendship/set up with someone they've known for a long time. Does it work for you? Should we stop? I'm asking the question purely to see if this is something that does happen or not.

Happy dabbing all

"

Yes, had similar relationship - it worked well even when both married - until we moved too far apart and life got in the way.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
4 weeks ago

Leeds


"* don't mean for that to sound harsh .. just the asks and information in this is confusing. "

I think you are right. As all three are happy with the situation there is no need to consider stopping

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By *oodmessMan
4 weeks ago

yumsville


"* don't mean for that to sound harsh .. just the asks and information in this is confusing.

I think you are right. As all three are happy with the situation there is no need to consider stopping"

Does seem a thread for 'hands up, if you're having sex behind your partners back', that doesn't quite get off the ground

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By *hat.coupleCouple
4 weeks ago

Dartford

If the husband is on board I can't see a problem, and for all the women saying " how does she have the energy?" If you really want to do something you make time and find the energy, simple x

Mrs x

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By *hocstick OP   Man
4 weeks ago

A log cabin, far far away


"How do you know which of you is the father of the three children ?"
I'm Indian, she's and her husband white British. The children are 100% her husband's

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By *a LunaWoman
4 weeks ago

Wherever the wind takes me


"Thanks for your thoughts and comments. To clear up any doubt, "Amy's" husband is aware. He knew how close we were from the off when they got into a relationship. And he is accepting of us. He himself had been in at least 2 open relationships in the past. Where I've said we've kept it secret, is with with friends and family."

It would have been helpful if this information had been put in the Opening Post!

So just to clarify, her husband is aware you and Amy have sex? Not that you’re just “close” but that you’re bonking too?

If he is, and he accepts this, then that’s a different kettle of fish entirely and I apologise for my earlier comment. And if it ain’t broke then why fix it, if it works for all concerned.

However, if he’s not aware you bonk then my earlier comment still stands!

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By *emonbuttercreamWoman
4 weeks ago

Birmingham

Oh dear, it sounds like she is having her cake and eating it and maybe there is more on your side which is why you're holding on.

I don't know, maybe I am wrong but it definitely isn't a normal dynamic and you would have to be pretty stupid to believe it is. I think there is a lot more feelings involved on your side than you realise.

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By *emonbuttercreamWoman
4 weeks ago

Birmingham

Oh I've just read your other response that her husband is aware. OK, that's fine then if it works for you all. I thought you were involved in an affair.

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By *ovelyDayXXXWoman
4 weeks ago

Niche

If it were me I'd feel used and disrespected. Good enough for just this much but no more & living the life of a dirty lil secret bar the spouse knowing. Kinda likes you but not love. Kinda fancies you but not lots. Would fk you but not forever/daily.

Nope, no thank you.

But if what she is giving you is all that you want from her in return then no one is shortchanged and if the spouse knows then no cheating too. I guess you both are getting exactly what you want from it.

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