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Are you a good forgiver?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

In some respects I am, in other respects my god do I hold a grudge.

Are you a good forgiver or are you like an elephant and never forget?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I forgive but NEVER forget

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can forgive, but not forget xx

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

My old vicar used to say that you have never truly forgiven until you can forget. When you have let it go then you have forgiven.

It depends what it is. Most things I forgive. It doesn't mean that that person necessarily remains in my life though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As above .. I can forgive but its hard to forget

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can forgive, but not forget xx"

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I forgive but don't let the fuckers forget..lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I forgive but NEVER forget "

This.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What was the question again?

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

Interesting question...

I've forgiven things that I think a lot of people would class as "unforgivable", yet things others have said "it's not important" I seem to struggle most with.

I think that's because the "big" things you have to let go otherwise they end up controlling you're life, and it's just not worth it.

Whereas the smaller things we can carry around with us a lot more easily.... And gives us something to moan about when we're down.

D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most things I forgive its easier to move on that way but some things are unforgivable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In time I do generally forgive

BUT

at the time you do piss me off, stand well back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I forgive but NEVER forget "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A very wise man once said..."hate the sin, but love the sinner." I do forgive (except my exwife...may she burn in the 9th level of hell). People make bad choices. If we don't learn from our mistakes though, we're doomed to repeat them over and over again. So if somebody has hurt you, you need to let them know. If the wound is bad enough, you need to tell them that you no longer wish to associate with them. I've had to do that with a few dear friends over the years myself.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Who is the forgiveness for? You either want to keep people in your life or you are content to let them go.

If someone is seeking your forgiveness then I would want to know what is driving that. If you want to bestow forgiveness that also needs looking at.

I'm going to be thinking about this all evening now! Unforgivable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can forgive almost anyone.

I find it hardest to forgive myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on all the factors - who it was, what it was, how it effects you etc. Most of the time I will forgive, but there are some things that just can't be - well maybe they can, but it takes a better person than I am.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

yeah, unless I have to listen to the same shit time and time again...

or they don't take ownership of fixing their issue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It depends on all the factors - who it was, what it was, how it effects you etc. Most of the time I will forgive, but there are some things that just can't be - well maybe they can, but it takes a better person than I am."

+1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"yeah, unless I have to listen to the same shit time and time again...

or they don't take ownership of fixing their issue"

This

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"In some respects I am, in other respects my god do I hold a grudge.

Are you a good forgiver or are you like an elephant and never forget?"

Never forget but had the cheek to tell my sister earlier today to let something go: our other sister upset her in August 1996 and she's not forgiven her!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i cant forgive myself for certain things i have done, even though i wasnt to blame.

i forgive people i care about but dont always forget, sometimes if someone has hurt you, you cant help thinking will they do it again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use to forgive and forget but got shit on to much, Now I forgive mainly the people that mean something to me, we all make mistakes but it does depend on the severity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah life is too short to be bitter so i forgive....never forget tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Forget and ignore them is far easier than holding a grudge or giving someone the time of day again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If its someone lying to me then no I am very unlikely to forgive and have many a times left friendships behind.

If it's a white lie then I might forgive/forget and carry on but it would depend on the circumstances.

What I dont do is hold a grudge and drag it up over and over again, Once it is done, it is done. Discussed, processed and left behind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I forgive.

Than I foget about it...

Lifes too short

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"In some respects I am, in other respects my god do I hold a grudge.

Are you a good forgiver or are you like an elephant and never forget?"

Depends on who, what..... Wouldn't say I forgive as I rarely forget if someone has wronged me. Just tend to get my feelings out in the open and try to move forward.

Mr B tends to hold a grudge and doesn't forgive or forget. Once you have crossed the line there is no going back with him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Interesting question...

I've forgiven things that I think a lot of people would class as "unforgivable", yet things others have said "it's not important" I seem to struggle most with.

I think that's because the "big" things you have to let go otherwise they end up controlling you're life, and it's just not worth it.

Whereas the smaller things we can carry around with us a lot more easily.... And gives us something to moan about when we're down.

D"

this

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

See as crazy as this sounds I've forgiven the shit who used me as a punch bag when I was 18 and who made me miscarry, if I forgive him I hold no feelings towards him.

However my ex who had a 2 year affair, I can't forgive him, he didn't physically hurt me but his affair was the last 2 years of Dad's life. I can't forgive him.

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By *oxerjoshleeMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

For every wrong I have had done against me I can honestly say I forgive them all.

However if anyone was to wrong my children or anyone else close to me I would not be so quick to forgive.

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By *stmateMan
over a year ago

Notts

Never forget.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seldom forgive and never forget!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can and do forgive but I never forget.

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By *eaverfeverCouple
over a year ago

nr Manchester


"I can forgive, but not forget xx"

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Depends on who or what needs forgiving. If someone pisses me off i just write them out of my life. But some people i will forgive, just dont take the piss.

Negative emotions are draining and its not good to let someone have a negative impact on your life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm really bad at this stuff I'm like an elephant I never forget and most times brush it under the carpet don't think I've ever truly forgave someone for something they've done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no problems whatsoever forgiving someone regarding me being directly impacted in some way. However I simply cannot forgive anybody who has negatively impacted my family in any way, shape or form, even when said family member has forgiven them, the best I could do is tolerate them but this would be for my family's sake only.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depending on what it is that happens, sometimes I can forgive if it's deserved/earnt but other times I can hold a grudge for years before getting even

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life's to short to bear grudges!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can forgive but never forget .... what are you? An elephant?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmmm.... It does depend on what it was and whos involved i feel...

Some things cannot be forgiven.

Like a gp who wouldnt put my mum in hospital and gave her paracetamol and false diagnosis!!!

Hope he dies a slow painful death!,.... Alone and in the dark and cold!!

Will NEVER forgive

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By *ondonpride69Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

None of us are perfect and life's short to hold grudges.

Not to forgive creates bitterness which in itself is an awful thing.

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By *xpresMan
over a year ago

Elland

I forgive ok.. BUT i never forget

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"None of us are perfect and life's short to hold grudges.

Not to forgive creates bitterness which in itself is an awful thing. "

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

I will forgive people if they are genuinely sorry and I will move on; if they keep fucking doing it though, I move on without them!

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I can't be arsed to hold a grudge, uses up to much effort and eats at your soul.

If I haven't killed you within 30 minutes of your slight toward me you are safe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it depends who they are and what they've done i suppose

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I don't really hold grudges. I like to air out a problem then move on from it. If they do it more than once then I'll cut them out if my life.

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By *ondonpride69Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

With women that i've loved, forgive, but never forget.

With men, never forgive or forget.

If i'm not involved in a sexual way for both men and women, never forgive or forget.

Tony

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Today is a new day.....yesterday is history

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I forgive but don't let the fuckers forget..lol x"

Hahaha excellent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Forget and ignore them is far easier than holding a grudge or giving someone the time of day again. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always forgive and thanks to my short term memory......I always forget

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" like an elephant and never forget?"
Billy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope. i'm way too stubborn

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