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Unsafe Sex in the City BBC s fly on the wall documentary?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Unsafe Sex in the City BBC's fly on the wall documentary about Manchester’s irresponsible youth was both compelling viewing and shocking. As they say, you can’t script stuff like this, and it’s certainly not a show you’d want to watch with your dinner. It’s estimated that there are over 22,000 people living in the UK with HIV, and many, many more with various forms of STIs. Over 6000 new STIs are being diagnosed every week and are on the increase. Kervin, a 22 year odd security guard, didn’t use a condom on a one night stand, got a bad dose of Gonorrhea (over 20,000 have it in the UK) and now has to explain it to both his brief shag and his long term girlfriend. How do you tell her that you’ve been unfaithful and given her the clap .. ?

It did make me think. Do people here if have something tell others thay have been with ????????

or just think of number one ..? We can all think here never be us ... But kissing and oral and skin to skin can get things not just sex .. with out condoms .. Its a worry .. its human nature to have sex ...But how do you know people tell the truth?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So far I have been lucky and never had nothing but I would say .. if ever told at Gum. I know the risks and if I think about it to much would take the fun out of all this .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have been lucky so far.

the worrying thing is you hear about men who know they have hiv and are bitter who deliberatly pass it on to other people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i have been lucky so far.

the worrying thing is you hear about men who know they have hiv and are bitter who deliberatly pass it on to other people."
yes and some are doing just that ..... and living in a bubble playing god with peoples life ... Takes a brave person to say thay have this .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

catching an std is probably the biggest deterrent to many people thinking about swinging or just having a little fun.

maybe that's why there are stds????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just found it and am downloading it now

I've never had any hinkey result from any of my screenings and fingers crossed I never will.

One of the biggest fears I have is getting something and having to have 'that conversation' I guess it's one of the reasons I have a low number of 'bed notches'

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"catching an std is probably the biggest deterrent to many people thinking about swinging or just having a little fun.

maybe that's why there are stds???? "
Yes maybe people like to live in a bit of a bubble .. But you cant when your lives at risk ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"catching an std is probably the biggest deterrent to many people thinking about swinging or just having a little fun.

maybe that's why there are stds???? Yes maybe people like to live in a bit of a bubble .. But you cant when your lives at risk ..."

don't get me wrong - we never have sex without using a condom and you are right there is kissing and oral sex to contend with.

what I'm saying is a lot of people fantasize about having a 3some or 4some but one of the reasons they don't follow through is fear of catching something. if everyone protected themselves......

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I have had this conversation with people I have met over the years and I actually think people on feb are generally more aware and more cautious of what they may come into contact with.

I know lots of ladies my age who will go out at the weekend and get bladdered to the point of not being able to remember if they have used a condom or not. They are actually having more sex than I am and I am on a swinging web site

On the whole I think fabsters are more aware, will visit the clinic more often and use condoms

which is a good thing...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good thread JO, and it follows on from the Bareback thread this morning too.

The thing with '(un)safe sex in the city' is that, in the main, the people featured on it are vanilla, not swingers.

In my humble experience, vanilla people have a far more blase attitude towards sexual health in general than Swingers ever do. The key difference being (and borne out by a senior nursing manager I was 'friendly' with.. ) is that Swingers get checked out as a matter of routine. Vanilla people - in the main - only go to a clinic when they have already contracted an STD or are fearful that they have. At that point it is too late.

As Swingers on this site, we are not in denial about out lifestyles. We choose to be here and meet who we meet, and understand the risks, and the majority take precautions as far as possible (if you accept that nothing is 100% safe).

Vanilla people are very often in a state of denial - it's the 'Oh it'll never happen to me' syndrome. And that's when they get caught out. And when a Swinger also has sex with a Vanilla, that's when it gets dangerous for the rest of us. Why do you think porn actors tend to have relationships with other actors? It's safer.

The other thing that struck me about the people featured in 'Unsafe SITC' is how frighteningly naive some of the younger people are about their lifestyles and the consequences. This doesn't surprise me after hearing what some of my sons friends believed about different aspects of sex, when they were 15-16.

I had a little 'dabble' back in the vanilla World earlier this year, and it was no longer for me. Even with the task of spotting those who conceal the truth about their bareback activities, I'd sooner be playing in 'our World' than taking the risk in the Unsafe Sex in the City one...

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I agree with Specifically - I was appalled a while ago when one of my mates said she'd been out, got ratted and fucked a guy BB cos neither had any condoms...following day I dropped her a box off and asked her to use them in future and urged her to visit clap clinic for reassurance tests (she wouldn't) - this is not an isolated occurrence, a couple other single 'nilla friends have done same - I do think the majority of swingers are more sensible with check ups and safe sex, as has been said - assume everyone is doing BB gangbangs 3 times a week and if you want to avoid open bare backers then do so, but I see no need to preach and judge. Stay safe (unless you don't want to of course!)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yes I know swingers maybe go to Gum more then vanillas and the risks ... But a lot here and on sites like this are not real swingers ... thay come and go ... and just after a sex fix ... And maybe don't hold the same value's ? Easy being on a site saying your a swingers but real world could be very different .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vanilla friends dont seem so cautious I have found. -Mrs

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I have got hundreds if not thousands of notches on my bedpost but the one time i caught something it was in a vanilla relationship from someone who had only had one previous partner - it certainly killed any future he and i may have had when i had to tell him that his ex had given him an sti!

The only reason i knew with certainty was due to the fact that i got tested just before we met and had no other partners in the meantime - and, yes we did use condoms but they are only 99% effective and some things can be spread by other contact.

I also know a happily married woman who had to tell her husband she'd caught gonnarhea by giving a random a bj when hammered on a girls night out!

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull


"I have got hundreds if not thousands of notches on my bedpost but the one time i caught something it was in a vanilla relationship from someone who had only had one previous partner - it certainly killed any future he and i may have had when i had to tell him that his ex had given him an sti!

The only reason i knew with certainty was due to the fact that i got tested just before we met and had no other partners in the meantime - and, yes we did use condoms but they are only 99% effective and some things can be spread by other contact.

I also know a happily married woman who had to tell her husband she'd caught gonnarhea by giving a random a bj when hammered on a girls night out! "

Absolute nightmare!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have got hundreds if not thousands of notches on my bedpost but the one time i caught something it was in a vanilla relationship from someone who had only had one previous partner - it certainly killed any future he and i may have had when i had to tell him that his ex had given him an sti!

The only reason i knew with certainty was due to the fact that i got tested just before we met and had no other partners in the meantime - and, yes we did use condoms but they are only 99% effective and some things can be spread by other contact.

I also know a happily married woman who had to tell her husband she'd caught gonnarhea by giving a random a bj when hammered on a girls night out! "
God that must have been hard to tell him she had that .... But had to be done. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly I know of swingers that have bb'd and refused to go for a check up

I havent had sex with a nilla in years, and I really dont think I will be doing so for many more years

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