Has there been a discussion on how sites like this and the sister site fabguys, have become a hotbed of people potentially being able to 'breadcrumb' 'ghost' 'manipulate' and 'gaslight' others who admit that they suffer with mental health issues.
But first some background on my situation.
I suffer with mental health caused by a desire to be liked , to fit in , to be myself, to be wanted ever since I was a child. I also worked from the age I was able to and like to keep myself busy but unfortunately this leads to my obsessiveness to please people. This led to me having several physical and mental breakdowns. And all because of overworking.
I still have this issue and have to regulate myself and what I do and how I do it, I have a hobby(since the age of 7) ofamateur dramatics. Acting, directing, and also costumes, making and maintaining. Now this is a hobby but I have to force myself at times to start and I also have to stop myself when I find Im Not eating or taking time out.
You can guess that im a sentimental, heart on sleeve, cry at the drop of a hat sort of guy. Well your correct, but im also very strong in my determination to speak out about mental health, that's is very exhausting.
Im constantly trying to find the correct words to say so that I don't offend or discriminate.
To say the wrong words and for someone to take offence is one of the ways my strength diminishes.
"Why don't I change my way of thinking?"
NO! I am mr, accept me or ignore, but for the last year on these sites and on Grindr I find I have been used to the pleasure of others, breadcrumbed, just given enough to keep interested, ghosted then gaslighted as if it's my fault as to why I question things.
Making me out to be mad, disillusioned and to be avoided.
I should just stop questioning and get on with my life, but the way my brain is wired, and further exasperated by a stroke 5 years ago, I have to have answers for me to close down my thought process.
I argue with myself, pros and cons, of the time I get up, what to eat, what to do that day, to food shop on line or get an Uber to go to do a food shop.
Quite often I lose my argument and stay inside, I can't face walking by roads especially main ones, go to new places, face new people, go to places I know and with people there who I know, is increasingly hard nowadays. And using public transport sorry but no,it's way too unhygienic.
I have recently been subjected, in my view after ruling out all logical coincidences etc, to being gaslighted. I say I was gaslighted cause I believe I'm being made to look unstable, because I'm questioning and speaking out about things.
Ineed to start wrapping this post up as im starting to get emotional, I feel a heck of a lot of love and care for one guy potentially involved.
I just want people to know, that it's ok to speak out, there are others in same position. It's hard to speak but the more it's spoken the less it becomes a burden.
Please feel free to reply, discretion is important as well. And I will be as discreet as I can be, I will never reveal who speaks private, but please also comment on this thread.
Hopefully then maybe something can be done. And mental health will not be used against me or others as a weapon or an excuse to please the curiosity or vile behaviour of others.
I hope this all makes sense and apologies if it hasn't , please feel free to ask for clarification if it does and don't just dismiss or bitch about it..
My quote of my mental health and relationship lives -
"I can fight the truth, I can't fight lies |
