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UNPOPULAR OPINION - WILL NEVER HAPPEN, BUT…

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By *hief_Of_Always OP   Man
2 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…

Fabswingers, other dating sites & apps are cooked for most users because let’s face…the demographic ratios work against us all.

It’s hard for single men to get responses/matches because THEIRS TOO MANY MEN.

Women’s accounts/inboxes get flooded with so many messages, that acknowledging or even politely declining would be a full time job.

What’s the solution?

*limit the amount of men?

*limit the amount of messages an inbox can hold?

*make it so only women can initiate conversation?

Again, it’ll never happen. But…

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By *vaRose43Woman
2 weeks ago

Forest of Dean


"

What’s the solution?

*limit the amount of men?

*limit the amount of messages an inbox can hold?

*make it so only women can initiate conversation?

Again, it’ll never happen. But… "

How would you limit the amount of men? Who gets to decide who qualifies for membership and who doesn’t?

Limiting the inbox? What would that achieve?

Women initiate all contact - are we forgetting couples now?. Also, imagine being the woman…. Now she’s got to fish through a pool of 10,000 instead of a couple hundred in her inbox.

While I agree the system is flawed I’m not sure your suggestions would work.

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By *sWyldWoman
2 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I rather like that there's lots of men here and would hate to see that limited.

The people who make an arse of themselves quickly make it easier for better people to stand out

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By *ealitybitesMan
2 weeks ago

Belfast

Who decides the limit or ratio for men?

Should it be 10-1 or 100-1?

Ratios don't guarantee quality. There could be one man in the room or 100 and a woman may not be attracted to any of them.

What's the point in limiting mailboxes and again where do you set the limit?

Unread messages are unread messages regardless of numbers and most women use filters so they don't have hundreds to sift through. If they aren't replying it's because they don't see anything they like in the profiles contacting them.

Only allowing women to make first contact will lead to even more frustrated forum threads about why women aren't contacting them and what's wrong with their profile?

I haven't sent an introductory message since 2020 and women do get in touch but that decision had nothing to do with not getting replies and much more to do with not having the time to chat with or meet new people.

Apart from that the site works for me and doesn't need anything changing.

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By *ellhungvweMan
2 weeks ago

Cheltenham

It’s not the ratios that work against people here. It’s the fact that their profiles are poor and the way they contact people is just completely wrong.

There are men on here who do well. Consistently. If ratios were the only factor then that wouldn’t happen.

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By *CBoyTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Tonypandy

Well they could get rid of people who can't spell "there are" for a start. Hint hint

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By *viatrixWoman
2 weeks ago

Redhill

Site works beautifully for me and has since i joined in 2018. Nothing has to change at all.

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By *vaRose43Woman
2 weeks ago

Forest of Dean


"I rather like that there's lots of men here and would hate to see that limited.

The people who make an arse of themselves quickly make it easier for better people to stand out "

Exactly

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By *rKnightsMan
2 weeks ago

Nott,in,your,mums,forrest

So you’re basically saying, you’re not getting any action and that’s fabs fault because men are allowed to join, and poor old you is getting pushed to the back.

Why don’t you just go full on self entitled and get fab to delete every other single males profile for a day, then the women would have no choice but to pick you. Because god forbid a woman is allowed her own mind to make her own decisions, on who she wants to sleep with.

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By *hief_Of_Always OP   Man
2 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…


"Well they could get rid of people who can't spell "there are" for a start. Hint hint"

What are you? My f**king Primary School Teacher? ☺️

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By *avexxMan
2 weeks ago

cheshire


"Well they could get rid of people who can't spell "there are" for a start. Hint hint"
,,, thats mi fuckrd

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

The issue, I suggest, is not the ratio.

On another site I used to be on, a new profile had to meet minimum requirements to be accepted. A minimum length, a minimum level of detail etc. this alone would reduce the number of men throwing up a profile in 2 mins and them launching into FAF messaging to every woman on a given radius.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
2 weeks ago

.

Limiting the amount of men on here still might not alter anything for the guys that struggle on here. If someone doesn't fit what I'm looking for that won't change whether there Is 1 guy on here or 1 million.

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By *hief_Of_Always OP   Man
2 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…

[Removed by poster at 06/04/25 07:45:11]

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By *hief_Of_Always OP   Man
2 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…


"So you’re basically saying, you’re not getting any action and that’s fabs fault because men are allowed to join, and poor old you is getting pushed to the back.

Why don’t you just go full on self entitled and get fab to delete every other single males profile for a day, then the women would have no choice but to pick you. Because god forbid a woman is allowed her own mind to make her own decisions, on who she wants to sleep with. "

Was I referring to myself?

No

Stop inferring & read what’s actually there - Slowly, if you can 😏

If you must know - My inspiration for making this thread came from a PewResearch article I just read about DatingApp dissatisfaction?

Stating that men outnumber women 3:1.

This was the impetus behind the app H*nge making it so women initiated interaction & men not being allowed to. Which lead to more user dissatisfaction & them abandoning it.

But keep up the personal attacks

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon


"So you’re basically saying, you’re not getting any action and that’s fabs fault because men are allowed to join, and poor old you is getting pushed to the back.

Why don’t you just go full on self entitled and get fab to delete every other single males profile for a day, then the women would have no choice but to pick you. Because god forbid a woman is allowed her own mind to make her own decisions, on who she wants to sleep with.

Was I referring to myself?

No

Stop inferring & read what’s actually there - Slowly, if you can 😏

If you must know - My inspiration for making this thread came from a PewResearch article I just read about DatingApp dissatisfaction?

Stating that men outnumber women 3:1.

This was the impetus behind the app H*nge making it so women initiated interaction & men not being allowed to. Which lead to more user dissatisfaction & them abandoning it.

But keep up the personal attacks

"

So men were leaving H inge because they couldn’t message first? Or did I read that wrong? Cause that would in itself be an illuminating fact.

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By *rKnightsMan
2 weeks ago

Nott,in,your,mums,forrest


"So you’re basically saying, you’re not getting any action and that’s fabs fault because men are allowed to join, and poor old you is getting pushed to the back.

Why don’t you just go full on self entitled and get fab to delete every other single males profile for a day, then the women would have no choice but to pick you. Because god forbid a woman is allowed her own mind to make her own decisions, on who she wants to sleep with.

Was I referring to myself?

No

Stop inferring & read what’s actually there - Slowly, if you can 😏

If you must know - My inspiration for making this thread came from a PewResearch article I just read about DatingApp dissatisfaction?

Stating that men outnumber women 3:1.

This was the impetus behind the app H*nge making it so women initiated interaction & men not being allowed to. Which lead to more user dissatisfaction & them abandoning it.

But keep up the personal attacks

"

Personal attack I don’t even know who you are. I just say it as I see it, I apologise for bruising your ego, would you like a plaster and a cuddle ?

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By *ife NinjaMan
2 weeks ago

Dunfermline

My only comment on this is around pricing, a sensitive subject, nonetheless.

For serious members, £20 per month, or, you have to have a subscription to be on here, with public photos?

Just a thought 🤓

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By *reggSausageMan
2 weeks ago

derby

This app ‘works’ for me is what you will find and the reason why is you make it work for you, do your research, do I need verification and if so how many? Do I need face photos in show, do I need my sky remote on show? Do I update my profile often, do I use the forums, what am i doing here?

I think everyone is here for like minded connections with people they are physically and mentally attracted to, so become physically and mentally attractive.

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By *hief_Of_Always OP   Man
2 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…


"So you’re basically saying, you’re not getting any action and that’s fabs fault because men are allowed to join, and poor old you is getting pushed to the back.

Why don’t you just go full on self entitled and get fab to delete every other single males profile for a day, then the women would have no choice but to pick you. Because god forbid a woman is allowed her own mind to make her own decisions, on who she wants to sleep with.

Was I referring to myself?

No

Stop inferring & read what’s actually there - Slowly, if you can 😏

If you must know - My inspiration for making this thread came from a PewResearch article I just read about DatingApp dissatisfaction?

Stating that men outnumber women 3:1.

This was the impetus behind the app H*nge making it so women initiated interaction & men not being allowed to. Which lead to more user dissatisfaction & them abandoning it.

But keep up the personal attacks

Personal attack I don’t even know who you are. I just say it as I see it, I apologise for bruising your ego, would you like a plaster and a cuddle ? "

You just can’t stop, can you Keyboard Tough Guy? 😄

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By *eachbums40Couple
2 weeks ago

Midlands


"Fabswingers, other dating sites & apps are cooked for most users because let’s face…the demographic ratios work against us all.

It’s hard for single men to get responses/matches because THEIRS TOO MANY MEN.

Women’s accounts/inboxes get flooded with so many messages, that acknowledging or even politely declining would be a full time job.

What’s the solution?

*limit the amount of men?

*limit the amount of messages an inbox can hold?

*make it so only women can initiate conversation?

Again, it’ll never happen. But… "

Interesting post OP.

But how would you feel if you were rejected as a member here?

There isn't a simple fix to this massive problem.

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By *hief_Of_Always OP   Man
2 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…


"So you’re basically saying, you’re not getting any action and that’s fabs fault because men are allowed to join, and poor old you is getting pushed to the back.

Why don’t you just go full on self entitled and get fab to delete every other single males profile for a day, then the women would have no choice but to pick you. Because god forbid a woman is allowed her own mind to make her own decisions, on who she wants to sleep with.

Was I referring to myself?

No

Stop inferring & read what’s actually there - Slowly, if you can 😏

If you must know - My inspiration for making this thread came from a PewResearch article I just read about DatingApp dissatisfaction?

Stating that men outnumber women 3:1.

This was the impetus behind the app H*nge making it so women initiated interaction & men not being allowed to. Which lead to more user dissatisfaction & them abandoning it.

But keep up the personal attacks

Personal attack I don’t even know who you are. I just say it as I see it, I apologise for bruising your ego, would you like a plaster and a cuddle ? "

How can you “say it as you see it” AND not know anything about me at the same time?

🤷🏽‍♂️

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
2 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).

Had a quick look at one of several of the Pew reports on dating. It summarises as follows.

"Experiences with online dating tend to be mixed.

Some people have excellent experiences with online dating that end in satisfying relationships. Others have stories filled with confusion and frustration. Thus, much like any other way to date, meeting someone online has both benefits and drawbacks".

It probably applies to fab.

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By *agic.MMan
2 weeks ago

Orpington


"So you’re basically saying, you’re not getting any action and that’s fabs fault because men are allowed to join, and poor old you is getting pushed to the back.

Why don’t you just go full on self entitled and get fab to delete every other single males profile for a day, then the women would have no choice but to pick you. Because god forbid a woman is allowed her own mind to make her own decisions, on who she wants to sleep with. "

That wasn't what he was saying ... you're projecting some weird inner anger. Who gets so irritated about a forum thread on a Sunday morning 🙄

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By *eachbums40Couple
2 weeks ago

Midlands


"My only comment on this is around pricing, a sensitive subject, nonetheless.

For serious members, £20 per month, or, you have to have a subscription to be on here, with public photos?

Just a thought 🤓"

You mean for men?

Everyone would moan like hell!!

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By *hief_Of_Always OP   Man
2 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…


"Fabswingers, other dating sites & apps are cooked for most users because let’s face…the demographic ratios work against us all.

It’s hard for single men to get responses/matches because THEIRS TOO MANY MEN.

Women’s accounts/inboxes get flooded with so many messages, that acknowledging or even politely declining would be a full time job.

What’s the solution?

*limit the amount of men?

*limit the amount of messages an inbox can hold?

*make it so only women can initiate conversation?

Again, it’ll never happen. But…

Interesting post OP.

But how would you feel if you were rejected as a member here?

There isn't a simple fix to this massive problem. "

Rejected as a member? There is a site that famously does curate its users. I can’t mention the name of it HERE but its name involves “young cats”

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By *weetiepie99Woman
2 weeks ago

cardiff


"So you’re basically saying, you’re not getting any action and that’s fabs fault because men are allowed to join, and poor old you is getting pushed to the back.

Why don’t you just go full on self entitled and get fab to delete every other single males profile for a day, then the women would have no choice but to pick you. Because god forbid a woman is allowed her own mind to make her own decisions, on who she wants to sleep with.

Was I referring to myself?

No

Stop inferring & read what’s actually there - Slowly, if you can 😏

If you must know - My inspiration for making this thread came from a PewResearch article I just read about DatingApp dissatisfaction?

Stating that men outnumber women 3:1.

This was the impetus behind the app H*nge making it so women initiated interaction & men not being allowed to. Which lead to more user dissatisfaction & them abandoning it.

But keep up the personal attacks

"

This isn't the case with H*nge. Men can message first. Maybe you are referring to B*umble.

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By *ashMan
2 weeks ago

Westhoughton

There's a solution.. Go out to a pub a speak to a lady upfront.. No need of waiting for message replies or being in queue with 1000 other messages in inbox.. You can even speak to a couple, who knows if they like you? Or go to an adult club and talk to other visitors.. Online is not the only way to connect, you know?

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By *hief_Of_Always OP   Man
2 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…


"So you’re basically saying, you’re not getting any action and that’s fabs fault because men are allowed to join, and poor old you is getting pushed to the back.

Why don’t you just go full on self entitled and get fab to delete every other single males profile for a day, then the women would have no choice but to pick you. Because god forbid a woman is allowed her own mind to make her own decisions, on who she wants to sleep with.

Was I referring to myself?

No

Stop inferring & read what’s actually there - Slowly, if you can 😏

If you must know - My inspiration for making this thread came from a PewResearch article I just read about DatingApp dissatisfaction?

Stating that men outnumber women 3:1.

This was the impetus behind the app H*nge making it so women initiated interaction & men not being allowed to. Which lead to more user dissatisfaction & them abandoning it.

But keep up the personal attacks

This isn't the case with H*nge. Men can message first. Maybe you are referring to B*umble."

My bad 🤭

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By *hil most chillMan
2 weeks ago

South East & Europe

This is not a problem as far as the site are concerned. The more users they have the better. If unfavourable ratios encourage serious users to pay for better features like filtering out the riff raff or uploading/viewing videos then why would they want to change that? The site shows no signs of slowing down, and the very active forum (which is just a fraction of the total users) confirms that

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By *hief_Of_Always OP   Man
2 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…


"There's a solution.. Go out to a pub a speak to a lady upfront.. No need of waiting for message replies or being in queue with 1000 other messages in inbox.. You can even speak to a couple, who knows if they like you? Or go to an adult club and talk to other visitors.. Online is not the only way to connect, you know?"

JE

ZUS

CHRIST

For the second time! I’m NOT referring to my personal experience!

I’m doing ok on Fab!

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By *hoice-DuoCouple
2 weeks ago

Bristol

[Removed by poster at 06/04/25 08:26:41]

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
2 weeks ago

Manchester-ish


"JE

ZUS

CHRIST

For the second time! I’m NOT referring to my personal experience!

I’m doing ok on Fab!"

If it's not your problem is it actually a problem?

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By *agic.MMan
2 weeks ago

Orpington


"

What’s the solution?

*limit the amount of men?

*limit the amount of messages an inbox can hold?

*make it so only women can initiate conversation?

Again, it’ll never happen. But…

How would you limit the amount of men? Who gets to decide who qualifies for membership and who doesn’t?

Limiting the inbox? What would that achieve?

Women initiate all contact - are we forgetting couples now?. Also, imagine being the woman…. Now she’s got to fish through a pool of 10,000 instead of a couple hundred in her inbox.

While I agree the system is flawed I’m not sure your suggestions would work.

"

There was a website I was on about 10 years ago, where you could only join if the existing members would vote you in...if there was a system in place on fab where you have to create a profile and there's a window of time where existing members would vote (at least one fab to be accepted, and no fabs means you're out)- a single straight male profile would be voted by the people who are interested in "single straight men", and there could be a page with all these new profiles where you can go and make your choices if you wanted-I'm sure some women would love that power👀. Now I know it poses some problems, it would be extremely difficult to implement this system now as fab is already constructed in a specific way and it wouldn't be fair for only new profiles to be subjected to this...and most likely it would become a very shallow place where only the most attractive men would be allowed to join (I would be ok with that though 😏)

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By *iGuyForCouplesMan
2 weeks ago

Staines


"Fabswingers, other dating sites & apps are cooked for most users because let’s face…the demographic ratios work against us all.

It’s hard for single men to get responses/matches because THEIRS TOO MANY MEN.

Women’s accounts/inboxes get flooded with so many messages, that acknowledging or even politely declining would be a full time job.

What’s the solution?

*limit the amount of men?

*limit the amount of messages an inbox can hold?

*make it so only women can initiate conversation?

Again, it’ll never happen. But… "

The solution is already here. Message filters. I'm on here also as a part of a couple. Single guys are blocked from messaging as she isn't interested. Couples have to be verified, have photos and we set realistic age range of people we are willing to meet, as opposed to the generic 18-99.

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By *hief_Of_Always OP   Man
2 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…


"JE

ZUS

CHRIST

For the second time! I’m NOT referring to my personal experience!

I’m doing ok on Fab!

If it's not your problem is it actually a problem? "

I’m doing well financially. Does that mean I shouldn’t be concerned about the cost of living crisis for anyone else? 🤨

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By *ife NinjaMan
2 weeks ago

Dunfermline


"My only comment on this is around pricing, a sensitive subject, nonetheless.

For serious members, £20 per month, or, you have to have a subscription to be on here, with public photos?

Just a thought 🤓

You mean for men?

Everyone would moan like hell!!"

For everyone. I have no issue with paying a premium 🤓

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
2 weeks ago

North West


"JE

ZUS

CHRIST

For the second time! I’m NOT referring to my personal experience!

I’m doing ok on Fab!

If it's not your problem is it actually a problem?

I’m doing well financially. Does that mean I shouldn’t be concerned about the cost of living crisis for anyone else? 🤨"

The post was mine. And that is some spectacular whataboutery! So nice of you to be concerned about all those other men unable to get their penises wet. There are some problems that we should all be concerned about. Men being unable to put together a decent profile and message is not one of them and limiting the number of men will have zero effect on that. If you are genuinely concerned then an actual solution might be lessons for men where they find out that women are human beings and not sex dispensers.

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By *eoBloomsMan
2 weeks ago

Springfield


"So you’re basically saying, you’re not getting any action and that’s fabs fault because men are allowed to join, and poor old you is getting pushed to the back.

Why don’t you just go full on self entitled and get fab to delete every other single males profile for a day, then the women would have no choice but to pick you. Because god forbid a woman is allowed her own mind to make her own decisions, on who she wants to sleep with.

That wasn't what he was saying ... you're projecting some weird inner anger. Who gets so irritated about a forum thread on a Sunday morning 🙄"

Yes, the OP didn't come close to saying that.

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By *rdere OpusCouple
2 weeks ago

Brum - ish

I never found it hard to sift through my inbox as a single woman.

Filters help but even if I’d switched them off first a forum game:

Click on friends messages and read those first

Read messages from others you’re in an ongoing chat with

Delete those who were outside my age preferences

Delete the obvious ‘hey’ messages - anything you can read without even needing to open it

Read the profiles for what’s left - skimming the contents tells you if it’s a definite no, a possible or a definite yes. Many delete themselves here (will fill in later or worse - “…” 🙄)

Read the remaining messages and react accordingly.

That was always my strategy.

L

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By *aughty Couple ABCCouple
2 weeks ago

West Bromwich


"Well they could get rid of people who can't spell "there are" for a start. Hint hint"

That annoyed me too

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By *eoBloomsMan
2 weeks ago

Springfield


"It’s not the ratios that work against people here. It’s the fact that their profiles are poor and the way they contact people is just completely wrong.

There are men on here who do well. Consistently. If ratios were the only factor then that wouldn’t happen."

Ratios clearly not the only factor, but of course it is a factor, that's just simple maths.

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By *parkle1974Woman
2 weeks ago

L

It would be good if the number of messages sent to someone were limited if the other person hasn't responded...say after 5 messages = no response then you can't send anymore.

It pisses me of that people are told to use "filters" but why should they....people just need to stop being dickheads (and I aim that at all genders)

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman
2 weeks ago

Manchester

It would be improved for me if everyone had to have a photo of themselves in some capacity (doesn't have to be their face) and some level of verification was standard (for everyone) to establish people matched the photograph/details provided. And everyone had to complete a bio.

I pretty much ignore all the profiles who don't have the above but if they weren't here at all it would help me manage my inbox easier

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
2 weeks ago

A Dirty Hole


"….

What’s the solution?

*limit the amount of men?

*limit the amount of messages an inbox can hold?

*make it so only women can initiate conversation?

Again, it’ll never happen. But… "

….or more women. I vote for more women.

Who’s with me?

🤷‍♂️

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By *allipygousMan
2 weeks ago

Leicester


"I never found it hard to sift through my inbox as a single woman.

Filters help but even if I’d switched them off first a forum game:

Click on friends messages and read those first

Read messages from others you’re in an ongoing chat with

Delete those who were outside my age preferences

Delete the obvious ‘hey’ messages - anything you can read without even needing to open it

Read the profiles for what’s left - skimming the contents tells you if it’s a definite no, a possible or a definite yes. Many delete themselves here (will fill in later or worse - “…” 🙄)

Read the remaining messages and react accordingly.

That was always my strategy.

L

"

Too logical. Easier to whinge and moan about your overflowing inbox and decry the standard of the single men available.

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman
2 weeks ago

Manchester


"It would be good if the number of messages sent to someone were limited if the other person hasn't responded...say after 5 messages = no response then you can't send anymore.

It pisses me of that people are told to use "filters" but why should they....people just need to stop being dickheads (and I aim that at all genders)"

I don't use the filters much either because I am open to meeting men, women and couples (single men are my preference). If I switched off the ability for single men to message me I'm cutting off my primary interest group, even though 95% of the messages I get are just rubbish sadly. I have it set so people must have a photo but that doesn't stop the garbage either. It's just something I've got to live with unfortunately.

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By *eliWoman
2 weeks ago

.

More women use their filters.

More men stop messaging women. Signs flag up on screen like

'you've messaged them four times already, go and have a wank',

'it's 2am, she's not gagging for your cock, go and have a wank'

'she posted about something, it's not an invitation to fuck her, go have a wank'.

Everyone's happy.

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By *ashMan
2 weeks ago

Westhoughton


"There's a solution.. Go out to a pub a speak to a lady upfront.. No need of waiting for message replies or being in queue with 1000 other messages in inbox.. You can even speak to a couple, who knows if they like you? Or go to an adult club and talk to other visitors.. Online is not the only way to connect, you know?

JE

ZUS

CHRIST

For the second time! I’m NOT referring to my personal experience!

I’m doing ok on Fab!"

And the reply is for whatever your intent was to ask.. Mau be you don't need it but the solution remains same for whoever you are concerned for in OP

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By *allipygousMan
2 weeks ago

Leicester


"It’s not the ratios that work against people here. It’s the fact that their profiles are poor and the way they contact people is just completely wrong.

There are men on here who do well. Consistently. If ratios were the only factor then that wouldn’t happen.

Ratios clearly not the only factor, but of course it is a factor, that's just simple maths."

I'm leaning towards agreeing with the post you're replying to, Leo. Some people just aren't built for communicating with the written word and some are incapable of self assessment, thinking whatever the issue is has nothing to do with them, it's always someone else's fault.

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By *hief_Of_Always OP   Man
2 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…

[Removed by poster at 06/04/25 09:09:58]

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By *ovelyDayXXXWoman
2 weeks ago

Niche

A lot has to do with it being online. Any app, not just here.

If you're dating in person and throw out a little flirty pick up chat maybe to someone you fancy at work (not wise fwtw), in a pub or club, at a bus stop, in the queue at a cafe.... then it's probably going to be much much less often so that's less rejection daily for a start which makes it easier to take.

It's going to be a different shirt you're wearing or different chitchat (I would hope) that you use, more natural and relevant and you'd get different responses. Kinder.

You'd hopefully not be shouting out nasty toxic nonsense in the middle of a Costa or you'd soon be learning not to (hopefully). And you'd not be receiving the keyboard vitriol in return (hopefully).

You could be with friends and the banter would distract or make it fun and not destroy your sense of self-confidence.

But if you're online, folk will rarely make initial effort on their profile or update it and change their profile or pics if it's not working well. They'll use the same copy/paste message for all and even send same one multiple times then get unpleasant. And 1 'no' or 'no response' could become 1000 nos very quickly.

Undiluted by cheerful company it would be a bitter pill.

I fully understand why men and women turn in to different versions of themselves in this environment. Concentrated rejection is an unnatural amount of relentless chip chip chipping away at the good humour.

And it's not only the unsuccessful, those who gather momentum on here can often evolve in to different versions of themselves too. They drop the social niceties if they feel they can get away with it.

An unregulated Ego makes us all unpleasant, whether it's from success or failure.

Basically we need to keep our perspective a healthy one. Keep dating to a small proportion of your life and focus. Keep your happiness based on reallife things and people. Don't lose yourself to the 1s and 0s

Try to have a lovely day, every day x

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By *ou only live onceMan
2 weeks ago

London


"More women use their filters.

More men stop messaging women. Signs flag up on screen like

'you've messaged them four times already, go and have a wank',

'it's 2am, she's not gagging for your cock, go and have a wank'

'she posted about something, it's not an invitation to fuck her, go have a wank'.

Everyone's happy."

Yeah! And anti-waffle measures too. Word limits on posts, that kind of thing. Let's keep things snappy, peeps.

😉

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By *uckyNineMan
2 weeks ago

prescot

People also need to take into account the don’t be a cock factor rather than just putting it down to numbers and ratios to make themselves feel better

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By *hief_Of_Always OP   Man
2 weeks ago

1313 Mockingbird Lane…


"JE

ZUS

CHRIST

For the second time! I’m NOT referring to my personal experience!

I’m doing ok on Fab!

If it's not your problem is it actually a problem?

I’m doing well financially. Does that mean I shouldn’t be concerned about the cost of living crisis for anyone else? 🤨

The post was mine. And that is some spectacular whataboutery! So nice of you to be concerned about all those other men unable to get their penises wet. There are some problems that we should all be concerned about. Men being unable to put together a decent profile and message is not one of them and limiting the number of men will have zero effect on that. If you are genuinely concerned then an actual solution might be lessons for men where they find out that women are human beings and not sex dispensers. "

Did my original post refer sourly to men who “can’t get their dick wet”?

No! It referred to the plight of women too!

If you haven’t noticed women also have peeves on using modern dating apps/sites. Ladies of Fab put their peeves on their profiles.

This isn’t blaming men, nor women - It’s about the online culture.

I really love how one post about online culture has resulted in personal attacks, grammar Nazi-ing, misandry & pseudo-psychoanalysis

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By *HUSH-Man
2 weeks ago

London


"It would be good if the number of messages sent to someone were limited if the other person hasn't responded...say after 5 messages = no response then you can't send anymore.

It pisses me of that people are told to use "filters" but why should they....people just need to stop being dickheads (and I aim that at all genders)"

That’s a great idea. It would improve the quality of messaging too.

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By *otsossieMan
2 weeks ago

Chesterfield

If there were too many men on here then more men wouldn’t join and the problem would self-correct.

Clever head tap gif.

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By *ellhungvweMan
2 weeks ago

Cheltenham


"JE

ZUS

CHRIST

For the second time! I’m NOT referring to my personal experience!

I’m doing ok on Fab!

If it's not your problem is it actually a problem?

I’m doing well financially. Does that mean I shouldn’t be concerned about the cost of living crisis for anyone else? 🤨

The post was mine. And that is some spectacular whataboutery! So nice of you to be concerned about all those other men unable to get their penises wet. There are some problems that we should all be concerned about. Men being unable to put together a decent profile and message is not one of them and limiting the number of men will have zero effect on that. If you are genuinely concerned then an actual solution might be lessons for men where they find out that women are human beings and not sex dispensers.

Did my original post refer sourly to men who “can’t get their dick wet”?

No! It referred to the plight of women too!

If you haven’t noticed women also have peeves on using modern dating apps/sites. Ladies of Fab put their peeves on their profiles.

This isn’t blaming men, nor women - It’s about the online culture.

I really love how one post about online culture has resulted in personal attacks, grammar Nazi-ing, misandry & pseudo-psychoanalysis

"

Being brutally honest - the interaction between you two is the perfect example as to why a lot of people struggle on here. A misread message and a throw away comment has escalated and now neither of you can back down. You can see the same thing happening in people’s inbox’s and why they get pissed off. Thank you both for showing exactly how communication (or lack thereof) is such a major issue.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
2 weeks ago

Carlisle usually


"The issue, I suggest, is not the ratio.

On another site I used to be on, a new profile had to meet minimum requirements to be accepted. A minimum length, a minimum level of detail etc. this alone would reduce the number of men throwing up a profile in 2 mins and them launching into FAF messaging to every woman on a given radius."

I quite like this one. I have new members blocked as a general rule to avoid it a little, but I still get plenty of over a year old no pictures no text profiles messaging me.


"More women use their filters.

More men stop messaging women. Signs flag up on screen like

'you've messaged them four times already, go and have a wank',

'it's 2am, she's not gagging for your cock, go and have a wank'

'she posted about something, it's not an invitation to fuck her, go have a wank'.

Everyone's happy."

They already have some messages that pop up.

Something along the lines of 'hey you already messaged this person, are you sure you want to send another' if they didn't respond to the previous. Or 'thia person is not looking for [your demographic]' if I remember right.

They seem pretty clear and reasonable and are already heavily ignored. Expanding the range doesn't really help.

That said, if there was a way to stop the weekday post midnight chemical friendly crew with their incessant 3 letter messages with a pop up that says 'go sleep it off and try when you're sober buddy' I'd like that 💜

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By *L_BlkBttmMan
2 weeks ago

London


"It would be good if the number of messages sent to someone were limited if the other person hasn't responded...say after 5 messages = no response then you can't send anymore.

It pisses me of that people are told to use "filters" but why should they....people just need to stop being dickheads (and I aim that at all genders)"

This is a good idea.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

2 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Fabswingers, other dating sites & apps are cooked for most users because let’s face…the demographic ratios work against us all.

It’s hard for single men to get responses/matches because THEIRS TOO MANY MEN.

Women’s accounts/inboxes get flooded with so many messages, that acknowledging or even politely declining would be a full time job.

What’s the solution?

*limit the amount of men?

*limit the amount of messages an inbox can hold?

*make it so only women can initiate conversation?

Again, it’ll never happen. But… "

The solution is to not stress about ratios.

Nothing anyone else does affects my life on here, nor do the numbers. 🤷‍♂️

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By *HUSH-Man
2 weeks ago

London


"More women use their filters.

More men stop messaging women. Signs flag up on screen like

'you've messaged them four times already, go and have a wank',

'it's 2am, she's not gagging for your cock, go and have a wank'

'she posted about something, it's not an invitation to fuck her, go have a wank'.

Everyone's happy.

Yeah! And anti-waffle measures too. Word limits on posts, that kind of thing. Let's keep things snappy, peeps.

😉"

But then I can’t go off on a tangent, derail the entire thread and generally wind up the OP.

That’s one of my simple pleasures on here. Especially the Chillout Yes/No threads 😌

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
2 weeks ago

A Dirty Hole


"….

'….

They already have some messages that pop up.

Something along the lines of 'hey you already messaged this person, are you sure you want to send another' if they didn't respond to the previous. Or 'thia person is not looking for [your demographic]' if I remember right.

"

Yes. I get this pop up all the time.

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By *hirleyMan
2 weeks ago

somewhere


"Site works beautifully for me and has since i joined in 2018. Nothing has to change at all. "

Same

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon


"More women use their filters.

More men stop messaging women. Signs flag up on screen like

'you've messaged them four times already, go and have a wank',

'it's 2am, she's not gagging for your cock, go and have a wank'

'she posted about something, it's not an invitation to fuck her, go have a wank'.

Everyone's happy.

Yeah! And anti-waffle measures too. Word limits on posts, that kind of thing. Let's keep things snappy, peeps.

😉"

Indeed

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By *iss NaturalWoman
2 weeks ago

Manchester


"….

'….

They already have some messages that pop up.

Something along the lines of 'hey you already messaged this person, are you sure you want to send another' if they didn't respond to the previous. Or 'thia person is not looking for [your demographic]' if I remember right.

Yes. I get this pop up all the time. "

really didn't know that it's on mine only looking for men in Manchester get men miles away and I only looking for social but get men just wanting sex

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By *ou only live onceMan
2 weeks ago

London


"More women use their filters.

More men stop messaging women. Signs flag up on screen like

'you've messaged them four times already, go and have a wank',

'it's 2am, she's not gagging for your cock, go and have a wank'

'she posted about something, it's not an invitation to fuck her, go have a wank'.

Everyone's happy.

Yeah! And anti-waffle measures too. Word limits on posts, that kind of thing. Let's keep things snappy, peeps.

😉

But then I can’t go off on a tangent, derail the entire thread and generally wind up the OP.

That’s one of my simple pleasures on here. Especially the Chillout Yes/No threads 😌"

Fear not, I'm pro waffle really. And you can't beat a good tangent. This is a good one, actually.

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By *ovelyDayXXXWoman
2 weeks ago

Niche


"

Yeah! And anti-waffle measures too. Word limits on posts, that kind of thing. Let's keep things snappy, peeps.

😉"

Yeah.... I'd not do well at that. I like to take my time. And I like words.

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By *edSirenWoman
2 weeks ago

magic mountain


"It would be good if the number of messages sent to someone were limited if the other person hasn't responded...say after 5 messages = no response then you can't send anymore.

It pisses me of that people are told to use "filters" but why should they....people just need to stop being dickheads (and I aim that at all genders)

That’s a great idea. It would improve the quality of messaging too.

"

I also agree this would help. Not men so much though 😅

Maybe fab could also introduce a matching system. Sooo anyone can still send a message, but if it’s not someone you’ve liked or matched then it would go to a sub inbox of requests (like insta). That way the inbox is kept clear for those you actually want to converse with, which would lead to convs not getting lost in the ethos of a flooded inbox.

I know you can separate friends messages in the inbox, but if I’m just starting to speak to someone, I wouldn’t necessarily make them my friend on here and give them access to those pics and vids straight away. So the requests system would help.

I also think we should have a little box in messages that filters to just showing unread messages. Get through the admin quicker!

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By *abioMan
2 weeks ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"JE

ZUS

CHRIST

For the second time! I’m NOT referring to my personal experience!

I’m doing ok on Fab!

If it's not your problem is it actually a problem? "

Have you never heard for the greater good!!!!

God damn the man is trying to stand out, his has found his niche by using the white knight route!!!

Some men truly… truly…. Truly care!!!

Anyway… solutions….. one in, one out…. If you can recite the lore of how fab swingers came to be… you men get to stay!!

Otherwise…. Let ya ass be grass… don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!!

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
2 weeks ago

A Dirty Hole


"….

'….

They already have some messages that pop up.

Something along the lines of 'hey you already messaged this person, are you sure you want to send another' if they didn't respond to the previous. Or 'thia person is not looking for [your demographic]' if I remember right.

Yes. I get this pop up all the time. really didn't know that it's on mine only looking for men in Manchester get men miles away and I only looking for social but get men just wanting sex "

I’ve never messaged you … be patient, I’ll get to sending one soon.

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By *iss NaturalWoman
2 weeks ago

Manchester

Why do men on fab that don't know you send first message asking what you upto I find that really odd

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By (user no longer on site)
2 weeks ago

I reckon before you can send your message there needs to be a series of challenges including riddles, scavenger hunts and a bleep test.

Is sending your well thought out ‘wuu2’ message really worth it?

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By *ou only live onceMan
2 weeks ago

London


"I reckon before you can send your message there needs to be a series of challenges including riddles, scavenger hunts and a bleep test.

Is sending your well thought out ‘wuu2’ message really worth it? "

Like the Crystal Maze? I'm in!

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By *ovelyDayXXXWoman
2 weeks ago

Niche

Relaunch the wink.

Send a wink to those you like.

If you get a wink in return then message features get enabled.

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By *iss NaturalWoman
2 weeks ago

Manchester


"Relaunch the wink.

Send a wink to those you like.

If you get a wink in return then message features get enabled."

I just delete winks what's the point of them

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
2 weeks ago

A Dirty Hole


"Relaunch the wink.

Send a wink to those you like.

If you get a wink in return then message features get enabled."

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By *aron Van WinkleMan
2 weeks ago

A Dirty Hole


"I reckon before you can send your message there needs to be a series of challenges including riddles, scavenger hunts and a bleep test.

Is sending your well thought out ‘wuu2’ message really worth it?

Like the Crystal Maze? I'm in!"

I’m in a forum….its full of too many men!!

What should I do?

^that type of text game?

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
2 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

You've identified the problem and you're part of it, so probably best to delete your account! If you don't like the set up / ratios, don't join.

If you limit the number of men you are dictating to females and couples (and bi men), who they can meet, when there is a whole variety of preferences. Cream rises to the top and there are men that get responses and meets. Whinging posts are always a good filter too.

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman
2 weeks ago

Manchester


"It would be good if the number of messages sent to someone were limited if the other person hasn't responded...say after 5 messages = no response then you can't send anymore.

It pisses me of that people are told to use "filters" but why should they....people just need to stop being dickheads (and I aim that at all genders)

That’s a great idea. It would improve the quality of messaging too.

I also agree this would help. Not men so much though 😅

Maybe fab could also introduce a matching system. Sooo anyone can still send a message, but if it’s not someone you’ve liked or matched then it would go to a sub inbox of requests (like insta). That way the inbox is kept clear for those you actually want to converse with, which would lead to convs not getting lost in the ethos of a flooded inbox.

I know you can separate friends messages in the inbox, but if I’m just starting to speak to someone, I wouldn’t necessarily make them my friend on here and give them access to those pics and vids straight away. So the requests system would help.

I also think we should have a little box in messages that filters to just showing unread messages. Get through the admin quicker! "

This would be the worst for me I hate that you have to "match" on dating apps so I have to spend hours swiping to match with people before we can talk. One of the advantages of fab for me is that it isn't a swiping/matching system. I'd rather have a full inbox full of messages.

Plus most men just swipe on every single woman anyway.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

2 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Relaunch the wink.

Send a wink to those you like.

If you get a wink in return then message features get enabled."

Problem is, much like that app beginning with T, many men would just wink everyone in a scattergun approach hoping one may land.

Although that often seems to happen with messages anyway. 🤷‍♂️

Ratios really don't matter.

If you're 1 in 1000 or 1 of 10, if someone isn't interested in meeting you they won't just because there's a more limited pool of options. Life doesn't work like that and it certainly doesn't when it comes to sex.

You don't get to meet just because you're an option. You get to meet because you've attracted interest, generated attraction and have shown you can communicate decently.

Just having a profile entitles someone to absolutely nothing at all. This is what many struggle to comprehend and understand. 🤦‍♂️

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
2 weeks ago

North West


"JE

ZUS

CHRIST

For the second time! I’m NOT referring to my personal experience!

I’m doing ok on Fab!

If it's not your problem is it actually a problem?

I’m doing well financially. Does that mean I shouldn’t be concerned about the cost of living crisis for anyone else? 🤨

The post was mine. And that is some spectacular whataboutery! So nice of you to be concerned about all those other men unable to get their penises wet. There are some problems that we should all be concerned about. Men being unable to put together a decent profile and message is not one of them and limiting the number of men will have zero effect on that. If you are genuinely concerned then an actual solution might be lessons for men where they find out that women are human beings and not sex dispensers.

Did my original post refer sourly to men who “can’t get their dick wet”?

No! It referred to the plight of women too!

If you haven’t noticed women also have peeves on using modern dating apps/sites. Ladies of Fab put their peeves on their profiles.

This isn’t blaming men, nor women - It’s about the online culture.

I really love how one post about online culture has resulted in personal attacks, grammar Nazi-ing, misandry & pseudo-psychoanalysis

"

I think that you're not going to solve the online culture by altering ratios. It would just end up pissing everyone off.

And apropos of online culture... Starting a post with UNPOPULAR OPINION is an invitation for discussion. Anyway, I have no beef with you, I already have my own Beef. 😈

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
2 weeks ago

Carlisle usually


"….

'….

They already have some messages that pop up.

Something along the lines of 'hey you already messaged this person, are you sure you want to send another' if they didn't respond to the previous. Or 'thia person is not looking for [your demographic]' if I remember right.

Yes. I get this pop up all the time. really didn't know that it's on mine only looking for men in Manchester get men miles away and I only looking for social but get men just wanting sex "

Oh it only works from the looking for tick boxes.

Like if I try to message someone who doesn't have women tucked on the looking for it tells me they're not looking for women.

The site would need to spend a fortune on AI to have it read and understand profile text to interpret whether or not someone fell within those sorts of categories.

That said, I would love a distance filter.

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By *hirleyMan
2 weeks ago

somewhere


"There's a solution.. Go out to a pub a speak to a lady upfront.. No need of waiting for message replies or being in queue with 1000 other messages in inbox.. You can even speak to a couple, who knows if they like you? Or go to an adult club and talk to other visitors.. Online is not the only way to connect, you know?"

This is my exact thoughts.

I joined tinder for the first time a few years ago when I was dating 2021ish, had some success by what I would describe too and was surprised by it's effectiveness. But still if I was looking for seeming instant results and/or one off occasions there's no way that can be replicated quite like approaching people in a bar or something for effort to result ratio. I'm not half bad looking but by no means a Hollywood buff guy or something, yet I've had loads more times where 'I've felt the love' off of the opposite sex in those environments, I put it down to a few things that make it so: it's much easier to communicate and be you, first impressions etc. yet you aren't as critical of someone else in person possibly look past 'the flaws' you'd see on a profile, and I just think you can't understate how important non verbal communication is, I've had many women approach me (I know, can you imagine, a bloke who didn't make the first move, not had to spend an hour spamming thousands of messages to random profiles) just off of the way I present myself. Online platforms are like try before you buy I'd describe them and you look for specifics

That being said, I'd say I love fab mostly. It works well for me and I know that's not going to fit everyones agenda but you can't please them all!

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By *eroLondonMan
2 weeks ago

Mayfair


"It’s hard for single men to get responses/matches because THEIRS (sic) TOO MANY MEN. "

No there isn't. It's just there are far fewer women on here.

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By *iss NaturalWoman
2 weeks ago

Manchester


"It’s hard for single men to get responses/matches because THEIRS (sic) TOO MANY MEN.

No there isn't. It's just there are far fewer women on here."

I had man today first message just said chat 🙄

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By (user no longer on site)
2 weeks ago


"I reckon before you can send your message there needs to be a series of challenges including riddles, scavenger hunts and a bleep test.

Is sending your well thought out ‘wuu2’ message really worth it?

Like the Crystal Maze? I'm in!"

THAT WOULD BE SO COOL!

I always wanted to go on that!

Could also be a Total Wipeout assault course!

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By *eroLondonMan
2 weeks ago

Mayfair


"It’s hard for single men to get responses/matches because THEIRS (sic) TOO MANY MEN.

No there isn't. It's just there are far fewer women on here.I had man today first message just said chat 🙄"

And?

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By *edSirenWoman
2 weeks ago

magic mountain


"

This would be the worst for me I hate that you have to "match" on dating apps so I have to spend hours swiping to match with people before we can talk. One of the advantages of fab for me is that it isn't a swiping/matching system. I'd rather have a full inbox full of messages.

Plus most men just swipe on every single woman anyway. "

Ok noted… so what about just having it that you can separate out those who you’ve not responded to and those you have? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I find my biggest problem (when I occasionally take my filters down) is that I lose convs as I can’t find them in the masses. So guys, or girls, with potential are lost.

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By *ou only live onceMan
2 weeks ago

London


"I reckon before you can send your message there needs to be a series of challenges including riddles, scavenger hunts and a bleep test.

Is sending your well thought out ‘wuu2’ message really worth it?

Like the Crystal Maze? I'm in!

THAT WOULD BE SO COOL!

I always wanted to go on that!

Could also be a Total Wipeout assault course! "

There's an obvious joke about big red balls, but I refuse to make it (mainly as mine are never red). But I LOVED Total Wipeout. I would never leave Fab.

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By *hirleyMan
2 weeks ago

somewhere


"It would be good if the number of messages sent to someone were limited if the other person hasn't responded...say after 5 messages = no response then you can't send anymore.

It pisses me of that people are told to use "filters" but why should they....people just need to stop being dickheads (and I aim that at all genders)

That’s a great idea. It would improve the quality of messaging too.

I also agree this would help. Not men so much though 😅

Maybe fab could also introduce a matching system. Sooo anyone can still send a message, but if it’s not someone you’ve liked or matched then it would go to a sub inbox of requests (like insta). That way the inbox is kept clear for those you actually want to converse with, which would lead to convs not getting lost in the ethos of a flooded inbox.

I know you can separate friends messages in the inbox, but if I’m just starting to speak to someone, I wouldn’t necessarily make them my friend on here and give them access to those pics and vids straight away. So the requests system would help.

I also think we should have a little box in messages that filters to just showing unread messages. Get through the admin quicker!

This would be the worst for me I hate that you have to "match" on dating apps so I have to spend hours swiping to match with people before we can talk. One of the advantages of fab for me is that it isn't a swiping/matching system. I'd rather have a full inbox full of messages.

Plus most men just swipe on every single woman anyway. "

Nah I don't think "most" men swipe on women, I certainly didn't or any other men I know that use it anyway, and more likely swipe women away

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By *parkle1974Woman
2 weeks ago

L


"It would be good if the number of messages sent to someone were limited if the other person hasn't responded...say after 5 messages = no response then you can't send anymore.

It pisses me of that people are told to use "filters" but why should they....people just need to stop being dickheads (and I aim that at all genders)

That’s a great idea. It would improve the quality of messaging too.

"

Certainly wouldn't improve the quality I don't think but it would cut half the shit in a person's inbox.....I've a guy who has messaged me over 20 times, I've responded to none as he is way outside my age range, about 300 miles away and not my type....people will say "well why not block him"....Why should I...in real life I'd ignore just as I'm doing on here.

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By *heLeadbettersCouple
2 weeks ago

Reading


"Fabswingers, other dating sites & apps are cooked for most users because let’s face…the demographic ratios work against us all.

It’s hard for single men to get responses/matches because THEIRS TOO MANY MEN.

Women’s accounts/inboxes get flooded with so many messages, that acknowledging or even politely declining would be a full time job.

What’s the solution?

*limit the amount of men?

*limit the amount of messages an inbox can hold?

*make it so only women can initiate conversation?

Again, it’ll never happen. But… "

There is a website where women initiate the contact.

I've yet to talk to any man who's used it who has had a first contact from a woman.

J

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By *iss NaturalWoman
2 weeks ago

Manchester


"I reckon before you can send your message there needs to be a series of challenges including riddles, scavenger hunts and a bleep test.

Is sending your well thought out ‘wuu2’ message really worth it?

Like the Crystal Maze? I'm in!

THAT WOULD BE SO COOL!

I always wanted to go on that!

Could also be a Total Wipeout assault course!

There's an obvious joke about big red balls, but I refuse to make it (mainly as mine are never red). But I LOVED Total Wipeout. I would never leave Fab."

I don't know what on about

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman
2 weeks ago

Manchester


"

This would be the worst for me I hate that you have to "match" on dating apps so I have to spend hours swiping to match with people before we can talk. One of the advantages of fab for me is that it isn't a swiping/matching system. I'd rather have a full inbox full of messages.

Plus most men just swipe on every single woman anyway.

Ok noted… so what about just having it that you can separate out those who you’ve not responded to and those you have? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I find my biggest problem (when I occasionally take my filters down) is that I lose convs as I can’t find them in the masses. So guys, or girls, with potential are lost. "

Yes I actually think that would be helpful, the ability to keep "conversations* in one folder and *new messages* in another would be a god send.

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By *ic loves to lickMan
2 weeks ago

Just Over Here


"Well they could get rid of people who can't spell "there are" for a start. Hint hint"

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By *iss DevilWoman
2 weeks ago

Bedford

I don't think any of the suggested solutions would work, OP. What I think might work is for any new woman or couple joining, to be a grace period of a week or two where they cannot receive any messages unless they initiate contact. So they can have time to find their feet on here without being overwhelmed by a barrage of messages from people seeing them as "fresh blood".

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By *HUSH-Man
2 weeks ago

London


"I reckon before you can send your message there needs to be a series of challenges including riddles, scavenger hunts and a bleep test.

Is sending your well thought out ‘wuu2’ message really worth it? "

I have a riddle on my bio. So far the current high score is 37 by a couple.

Nothing sets the mood for a saucy encounter quite like a brain teaser as foreplay 🤓

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon


"I reckon before you can send your message there needs to be a series of challenges including riddles, scavenger hunts and a bleep test.

Is sending your well thought out ‘wuu2’ message really worth it?

I have a riddle on my bio. So far the current high score is 37 by a couple.

Nothing sets the mood for a saucy encounter quite like a brain teaser as foreplay 🤓 "

Tbh Hush it’s not particularly difficult (I’m won’t give the answer away of course).

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By *parkle1974Woman
2 weeks ago

L


"I reckon before you can send your message there needs to be a series of challenges including riddles, scavenger hunts and a bleep test.

Is sending your well thought out ‘wuu2’ message really worth it?

I have a riddle on my bio. So far the current high score is 37 by a couple.

Nothing sets the mood for a saucy encounter quite like a brain teaser as foreplay 🤓 "

That's an easy one

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By (user no longer on site)
2 weeks ago


"I reckon before you can send your message there needs to be a series of challenges including riddles, scavenger hunts and a bleep test.

Is sending your well thought out ‘wuu2’ message really worth it?

Like the Crystal Maze? I'm in!

THAT WOULD BE SO COOL!

I always wanted to go on that!

Could also be a Total Wipeout assault course!

There's an obvious joke about big red balls, but I refuse to make it (mainly as mine are never red). But I LOVED Total Wipeout. I would never leave Fab."

I’d be shooting my shot with people I’m not interested in just so I could have a go. I’m as athletic as an elderly manatee but I really really want to try it

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By *HUSH-Man
2 weeks ago

London


"I reckon before you can send your message there needs to be a series of challenges including riddles, scavenger hunts and a bleep test.

Is sending your well thought out ‘wuu2’ message really worth it?

I have a riddle on my bio. So far the current high score is 37 by a couple.

Nothing sets the mood for a saucy encounter quite like a brain teaser as foreplay 🤓

Tbh Hush it’s not particularly difficult (I’m won’t give the answer away of course).

"

Oh really?

Well how about this?

I am not alive, but I can grow.

I don’t have lungs, but I need air.

I have no mouth, yet I can drown.

What am I?

Care to take a guess?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

2 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"

This would be the worst for me I hate that you have to "match" on dating apps so I have to spend hours swiping to match with people before we can talk. One of the advantages of fab for me is that it isn't a swiping/matching system. I'd rather have a full inbox full of messages.

Plus most men just swipe on every single woman anyway.

Ok noted… so what about just having it that you can separate out those who you’ve not responded to and those you have? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I find my biggest problem (when I occasionally take my filters down) is that I lose convs as I can’t find them in the masses. So guys, or girls, with potential are lost.

Yes I actually think that would be helpful, the ability to keep "conversations* in one folder and *new messages* in another would be a god send. "

There's a saved messages folder. 🤷‍♂️

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By *parkle1974Woman
2 weeks ago

L

[Removed by poster at 06/04/25 10:50:59]

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By *parkle1974Woman
2 weeks ago

L


"I reckon before you can send your message there needs to be a series of challenges including riddles, scavenger hunts and a bleep test.

Is sending your well thought out ‘wuu2’ message really worth it?

I have a riddle on my bio. So far the current high score is 37 by a couple.

Nothing sets the mood for a saucy encounter quite like a brain teaser as foreplay 🤓

Tbh Hush it’s not particularly difficult (I’m won’t give the answer away of course).

Oh really?

Well how about this?

I am not alive, but I can grow.

I don’t have lungs, but I need air.

I have no mouth, yet I can drown.

What am I?

Care to take a guess?"

Fire 🔥

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By *ora the explorerWoman
2 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts


"I never found it hard to sift through my inbox as a single woman.

Filters help but even if I’d switched them off first a forum game:

Click on friends messages and read those first

Read messages from others you’re in an ongoing chat with

Delete those who were outside my age preferences

Delete the obvious ‘hey’ messages - anything you can read without even needing to open it

Read the profiles for what’s left - skimming the contents tells you if it’s a definite no, a possible or a definite yes. Many delete themselves here (will fill in later or worse - “…” 🙄)

Read the remaining messages and react accordingly.

That was always my strategy.

L

"

Pretty much this for me too. It’s really not that difficult.

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By *eoBloomsMan
2 weeks ago

Springfield

Even by Fabs standards the idea that ratios are irrelevant is a truly bizarre idea.

If there's an imaginary club where the ratio is 1 woman to 100 men, all straight and looking to hook up, the woman has 100 chances to find someone she likes with no competition, and the men have one chance with 99 competitors. Extrapolate those odds out into any context and the maths don't change.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

2 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Even by Fabs standards the idea that ratios are irrelevant is a truly bizarre idea.

If there's an imaginary club where the ratio is 1 woman to 100 men, all straight and looking to hook up, the woman has 100 chances to find someone she likes with no competition, and the men have one chance with 99 competitors. Extrapolate those odds out into any context and the maths don't change."

If the woman isn't interested in, or attracted to any of the 100 she'll leave and use another means of finding company.

She won't settle just because those are the only options.

This is why ratios are irrelevant. They promote the idea that a smaller pool to fish in guarantees success. It doesn't and never will.

If the ratios were reversed and there were 100 women and just me, I wouldn't choose the best worst option. If anyone seriously thinks adjusting the numbers would benefit them then that just means their decision making processes are based on availability, rather than actual interest and attraction.

I'd rather have a wank. 🤷‍♂️

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By *ellhungvweMan
2 weeks ago

Cheltenham


"Even by Fabs standards the idea that ratios are irrelevant is a truly bizarre idea.

If there's an imaginary club where the ratio is 1 woman to 100 men, all straight and looking to hook up, the woman has 100 chances to find someone she likes with no competition, and the men have one chance with 99 competitors. Extrapolate those odds out into any context and the maths don't change."

Ratios only matter if everyone is equal. If there 99 perfect blokes for her then the odds are just over 1%. If half the blokes are the wrong height, 60% of the rest are the wrong shape or not attractive and only three of those remaining have the requisite attributes down below then the ratios are now 3:1. I would take those odds.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

2 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Even by Fabs standards the idea that ratios are irrelevant is a truly bizarre idea.

If there's an imaginary club where the ratio is 1 woman to 100 men, all straight and looking to hook up, the woman has 100 chances to find someone she likes with no competition, and the men have one chance with 99 competitors. Extrapolate those odds out into any context and the maths don't change.

Ratios only matter if everyone is equal. If there 99 perfect blokes for her then the odds are just over 1%. If half the blokes are the wrong height, 60% of the rest are the wrong shape or not attractive and only three of those remaining have the requisite attributes down below then the ratios are now 3:1. I would take those odds."

Exactly. 👌💯%

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By *ora the explorerWoman
2 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts


"Even by Fabs standards the idea that ratios are irrelevant is a truly bizarre idea.

If there's an imaginary club where the ratio is 1 woman to 100 men, all straight and looking to hook up, the woman has 100 chances to find someone she likes with no competition, and the men have one chance with 99 competitors. Extrapolate those odds out into any context and the maths don't change.

If the woman isn't interested in, or attracted to any of the 100 she'll leave and use another means of finding company.

She won't settle just because those are the only options.

This is why ratios are irrelevant. They promote the idea that a smaller pool to fish in guarantees success. It doesn't and never will.

If the ratios were reversed and there were 100 women and just me, I wouldn't choose the best worst option. If anyone seriously thinks adjusting the numbers would benefit them then that just means their decision making processes are based on availability, rather than actual interest and attraction.

I'd rather have a wank. 🤷‍♂️"

Spot on

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By *_elie LALWoman
2 weeks ago

arsehole


"It’s not the ratios that work against people here. It’s the fact that their profiles are poor and the way they contact people is just completely wrong.

There are men on here who do well. Consistently. If ratios were the only factor then that wouldn’t happen."

Totally agree.

The amount of men who don't read profiles... I've hidden my profile now as 99% never read it anyway.

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By *assing Fancies xCouple
2 weeks ago

Sherwood Forest

Keep it as it is... people on here owe eachother nothing... folk shouldn't take it to heart if the don't get messages or replies even as a couple we find it hard to get replies and very rarely get messages from interested parties and we never take it to heart

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By *HUSH-Man
2 weeks ago

London


"I reckon before you can send your message there needs to be a series of challenges including riddles, scavenger hunts and a bleep test.

Is sending your well thought out ‘wuu2’ message really worth it?

I have a riddle on my bio. So far the current high score is 37 by a couple.

Nothing sets the mood for a saucy encounter quite like a brain teaser as foreplay 🤓

Tbh Hush it’s not particularly difficult (I’m won’t give the answer away of course).

Oh really?

Well how about this?

I am not alive, but I can grow.

I don’t have lungs, but I need air.

I have no mouth, yet I can drown.

What am I?

Care to take a guess?

Fire 🔥"

You are correct ✅

How about this one then, Sparkle 🧠

I am lighter than air, but a million men cannot lift me.

Careful! If you hold me, I will disappear.

What am I?

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman
2 weeks ago

Manchester


"

This would be the worst for me I hate that you have to "match" on dating apps so I have to spend hours swiping to match with people before we can talk. One of the advantages of fab for me is that it isn't a swiping/matching system. I'd rather have a full inbox full of messages.

Plus most men just swipe on every single woman anyway.

Ok noted… so what about just having it that you can separate out those who you’ve not responded to and those you have? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I find my biggest problem (when I occasionally take my filters down) is that I lose convs as I can’t find them in the masses. So guys, or girls, with potential are lost.

Yes I actually think that would be helpful, the ability to keep "conversations* in one folder and *new messages* in another would be a god send.

There's a saved messages folder. 🤷‍♂️"

But does that move any incoming messages from that person into the same folder? That's what I mean, to group new conversations and not just save old ones.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
2 weeks ago

little house on the praire

I disagree, sites always worked well for me and its worked well for the guys I've met as they've always been popular.

People need to stop finding excuses why the site isn't working for them and concentrate on what they can do to improve their own experience

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By *ortney FoxxxWoman
2 weeks ago

Honeysuckle lane


"I disagree, sites always worked well for me and its worked well for the guys I've met as they've always been popular.

People need to stop finding excuses why the site isn't working for them and concentrate on what they can do to improve their own experience"

💯

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

2 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"

This would be the worst for me I hate that you have to "match" on dating apps so I have to spend hours swiping to match with people before we can talk. One of the advantages of fab for me is that it isn't a swiping/matching system. I'd rather have a full inbox full of messages.

Plus most men just swipe on every single woman anyway.

Ok noted… so what about just having it that you can separate out those who you’ve not responded to and those you have? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I find my biggest problem (when I occasionally take my filters down) is that I lose convs as I can’t find them in the masses. So guys, or girls, with potential are lost.

Yes I actually think that would be helpful, the ability to keep "conversations* in one folder and *new messages* in another would be a god send.

There's a saved messages folder. 🤷‍♂️

But does that move any incoming messages from that person into the same folder? That's what I mean, to group new conversations and not just save old ones. "

Honestly don't know but I'll try it as an experiment. 🤷‍♂️

But in terms of separating people you're interested in continuing to chat to from those you're not, it could be useful and as messages now show as threads I'd assume new ones may well be added to saved conversations.

Maybe someone else knows? 🤔🤷‍♂️

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By *eoBloomsMan
2 weeks ago

Springfield


"Even by Fabs standards the idea that ratios are irrelevant is a truly bizarre idea.

If there's an imaginary club where the ratio is 1 woman to 100 men, all straight and looking to hook up, the woman has 100 chances to find someone she likes with no competition, and the men have one chance with 99 competitors. Extrapolate those odds out into any context and the maths don't change.

Ratios only matter if everyone is equal. If there 99 perfect blokes for her then the odds are just over 1%. If half the blokes are the wrong height, 60% of the rest are the wrong shape or not attractive and only three of those remaining have the requisite attributes down below then the ratios are now 3:1. I would take those odds."

Why have you assumed you're one of the three that fit the woman's criteria? If we're talking a random and not controlled sample then it's equally likely you don't fit her criteria which is the whole principle of the maths. In a 1:100 ratio the 1 has a huge mathematical advantage in being successful over the 100.

The basic mathematical probabilities of a 1:100 ratio don't change however you work it.

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By *ellhungvweMan
2 weeks ago

Cheltenham


"Even by Fabs standards the idea that ratios are irrelevant is a truly bizarre idea.

If there's an imaginary club where the ratio is 1 woman to 100 men, all straight and looking to hook up, the woman has 100 chances to find someone she likes with no competition, and the men have one chance with 99 competitors. Extrapolate those odds out into any context and the maths don't change.

Ratios only matter if everyone is equal. If there 99 perfect blokes for her then the odds are just over 1%. If half the blokes are the wrong height, 60% of the rest are the wrong shape or not attractive and only three of those remaining have the requisite attributes down below then the ratios are now 3:1. I would take those odds.

Why have you assumed you're one of the three that fit the woman's criteria? If we're talking a random and not controlled sample then it's equally likely you don't fit her criteria which is the whole principle of the maths. In a 1:100 ratio the 1 has a huge mathematical advantage in being successful over the 100.

The basic mathematical probabilities of a 1:100 ratio don't change however you work it."

Because I have defined her requirements as such

The point is not the 3% - it is that it is highly unlikely everyone is a match. I know you are not saying this but I genuinely think the worst advice that is given on here is the idea that “everyone will find someone”. No they won’t. People want something specific (whatever that is) and the ratios that matter are those people who have the specific attributes.

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By *eoBloomsMan
2 weeks ago

Springfield


"Even by Fabs standards the idea that ratios are irrelevant is a truly bizarre idea.

If there's an imaginary club where the ratio is 1 woman to 100 men, all straight and looking to hook up, the woman has 100 chances to find someone she likes with no competition, and the men have one chance with 99 competitors. Extrapolate those odds out into any context and the maths don't change.

Ratios only matter if everyone is equal. If there 99 perfect blokes for her then the odds are just over 1%. If half the blokes are the wrong height, 60% of the rest are the wrong shape or not attractive and only three of those remaining have the requisite attributes down below then the ratios are now 3:1. I would take those odds.

Why have you assumed you're one of the three that fit the woman's criteria? If we're talking a random and not controlled sample then it's equally likely you don't fit her criteria which is the whole principle of the maths. In a 1:100 ratio the 1 has a huge mathematical advantage in being successful over the 100.

The basic mathematical probabilities of a 1:100 ratio don't change however you work it.

Because I have defined her requirements as such

The point is not the 3% - it is that it is highly unlikely everyone is a match. I know you are not saying this but I genuinely think the worst advice that is given on here is the idea that “everyone will find someone”. No they won’t. People want something specific (whatever that is) and the ratios that matter are those people who have the specific attributes."

I won't reply again as I don't want to derail the thread talking about data sets and controlled samples! I think we agree that ratios are not irrelevant but disagree on their importance, which is fair.

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By *hirleyMan
2 weeks ago

somewhere

Also if you want to feel more success in swinging then get yourself on some organised group socials and clubs, don't waste your time messaging people too much imo. That goes for men, women alike

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By *ansoffateMan
2 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Is it in the owner's interest to reduce number by limiting men? No, but it is in the owner's interest to increase the number of women.

So what's the barrier to the number of women that needs to be dissolved?

From what I can gather it's the behaviours of men. The dick pics, the vacuous faf messages and the dummy spitting abusive messages - slut or body shaming them moments after they were trying to get into their knickers.

It can happen, by men adjusting their behaviours. Will it happen? Who knows, but what I can say is the ritual shaming of anyone who moans about it on here doesn't seem an effective strategy for change.

I have this weird theory that if you listen to the feedback of demographically under-represented groups then you may possibly make the place more welcoming and inclusive towards them. It's not a popular theory.

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By *rdere OpusCouple
2 weeks ago

Brum - ish


"More women use their filters.

More men stop messaging women. Signs flag up on screen like

'you've messaged them four times already, go and have a wank',

'it's 2am, she's not gagging for your cock, go and have a wank'

'she posted about something, it's not an invitation to fuck her, go have a wank'.

Everyone's happy.

Yeah! And anti-waffle measures too. Word limits on posts, that kind of thing. Let's keep things snappy, peeps.

😉

But then I can’t go off on a tangent, derail the entire thread and generally wind up the OP.

That’s one of my simple pleasures on here. Especially the Chillout Yes/No threads 😌"

I enjoyed coming up with those! Made for very interesting statistical information 😅😁

S

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By *ealitybitesMan
2 weeks ago

Belfast

I do firmly believe that ratios are irrelevant and not for any mathematical reason.

They are irrelevant to me in the same way that all other male profiles on fab are irrelevant when it comes to my interaction or engagement with others.

I've always said that fab isn't a competition for me because who am I competing with?

All men on fab?

All 60 year old men?

All 60 year old men in my area?

All 60 year old men in my area who have the exact same preferences as I do?

The actions of other men have no relevance on the amount of effort I put into my profile and/or messages so it doesn't really matter how many men are on fab or how much attention certain women are receiving.

If it's not a competition, numbers are irrelevant.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

2 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Even by Fabs standards the idea that ratios are irrelevant is a truly bizarre idea.

If there's an imaginary club where the ratio is 1 woman to 100 men, all straight and looking to hook up, the woman has 100 chances to find someone she likes with no competition, and the men have one chance with 99 competitors. Extrapolate those odds out into any context and the maths don't change.

Ratios only matter if everyone is equal. If there 99 perfect blokes for her then the odds are just over 1%. If half the blokes are the wrong height, 60% of the rest are the wrong shape or not attractive and only three of those remaining have the requisite attributes down below then the ratios are now 3:1. I would take those odds.

Why have you assumed you're one of the three that fit the woman's criteria? If we're talking a random and not controlled sample then it's equally likely you don't fit her criteria which is the whole principle of the maths. In a 1:100 ratio the 1 has a huge mathematical advantage in being successful over the 100.

The basic mathematical probabilities of a 1:100 ratio don't change however you work it.

Because I have defined her requirements as such

The point is not the 3% - it is that it is highly unlikely everyone is a match. I know you are not saying this but I genuinely think the worst advice that is given on here is the idea that “everyone will find someone”. No they won’t. People want something specific (whatever that is) and the ratios that matter are those people who have the specific attributes.

I won't reply again as I don't want to derail the thread talking about data sets and controlled samples! I think we agree that ratios are not irrelevant but disagree on their importance, which is fair."

The thing is.....sexual attraction isn't something you can equate to statistical analysis.

Doing so oversimplifies things and assumes that ther has to be an outcome.

There doesn't.

People won't always just take what's on offer if it doesn't appeal. The ratio could be 1/1 or 1/1000. We're talking about meets/sex. Not something that's life threatening or essential.

People don't HAVE to choose if there's no option that meets their needs/preferences. 🤷‍♂️

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By *layfullsamMan
2 weeks ago

Solihull

Don’t put all your eggs into one basket, fab and other sites are what they are

Get out into the fresh air and real world and meet girls the old fashioned way

If Men relied on fab Most would still be a virgin lol

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By *lim_bbcMan
2 weeks ago

barking


"Fabswingers, other dating sites & apps are cooked for most users because let’s face…the demographic ratios work against us all.

It’s hard for single men to get responses/matches because THEIRS TOO MANY MEN.

Women’s accounts/inboxes get flooded with so many messages, that acknowledging or even politely declining would be a full time job.

What’s the solution?

*limit the amount of men?

*limit the amount of messages an inbox can hold?

*make it so only women can initiate conversation?

Again, it’ll never happen. But… "

Men a probably the ones who spend more money on premium privileges (seeing matches etc) to help elevate their chances so it would probs wouldn't make best sense financially to limit thr amount of men

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By *ellhungvweMan
2 weeks ago

Cheltenham


"The thing is.....sexual attraction isn't something you can equate to statistical analysis.

"

To be fair - my orgasms are statistically significant!

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By *rs TootyWoman
2 weeks ago

Ayrshire

If men read women’s profiles before sending messages it would help. Getting messages from out of my preference is an easy straight delete. Having to open profiles to see if sexually we match is a pain in the ahem..

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By *issmorganWoman
2 weeks ago

Calderdale innit


"It’s not the ratios that work against people here. It’s the fact that their profiles are poor and the way they contact people is just completely wrong.

There are men on here who do well. Consistently. If ratios were the only factor then that wouldn’t happen."

.

This totally

Low effort bios and hi messages don't cut it for most of us.

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By *uenevereWoman
2 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

I've been on Fab and part of the swinging scene fir a long time.

Whilst I don't meet men via Fab, I do look at their profiles and get messages from them.

In my opinion the reason many men are unsuccessful is for a variety of reasons including:

Failing to read profiles and contacting women who will not be interested.

Poor quality profiles.

Poor quality messages.

Unrealistic expectations.

Poor attitude towards women.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
2 weeks ago

little house on the praire

I think the reason some struggle is that they don't have basic common sense.

The guys with the blank profiles who genuinely can't see you need to sell yourself never fails to amaze me

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By *bcplCouple
2 weeks ago

Aberdeenshire

Please don’t limit the men we love the men here haha! What they need to do is have better sign up solutions to deter the fakes then only genuine men are in a woman’s/couples inbox

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Central

Only men with electrodes attached to them, that can be set to deliver power surges, can be allowed to use Fab

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