FabSwingers.com forum: What are the positives

Wolverhampton

So a bit about me. I have been on and off here over 12 years. During this time the site has changed but as importantly I have changed. Not just in age and waist size but outlook

Once upon a time I was part of all or most of the socials on here but now I’m trying to organise one I have had 3 people tell me they maybe interested

Day after day of repeat posts with the same comments in return. Some positive the most verging on bullying or shaming or disdain or taking it down another route.

A lot of so called regulars leaving, some returning, but recently more leaving. Some people getting shamed or shot down for having an opinion or “like” different to someone else’s.

Much white knighting

So…what are the positives? What keeps you here?

If it’s to look at naked people you can get than anywhere on line.

The forums are a small minority of the site and those that post even less so…yet they mostly determine how many see the site

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
7 weeks ago

Maidstone

My positives are the interactions I have away from the forum and the lovely people I meet. That's what keeps me here. I dip into the forum when I've got some spare time and normally while I'm doing something else. It's an entertaining distraction sometimes. When the fun stops, stop.

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan
7 weeks ago

Manchester / Cardiff

Hey Jack, I definitely agree with ALOT of what you say there, but I'm curious as to where the thought, 'the forums mostly determine how many see the site' comes from? I've never thought of it that way, and I'm interested in understanding that view.

What are the positives? What keeps me here though? I use the forums to pass the time and it's a social interaction I don't get in the real world. I pray any and all contributions I make are read in the same tongue in cheek manner they are written and not in any way taken negatively. But most of all, I'm here to make friends and meet people. This is a swinging site and as complicated as I do make it for myself, I'm here to enjoy that.

..that and looking at naked people.

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By *ver and Out 01 OP Man
7 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

"Hey Jack, I definitely agree with ALOT of what you say there, but I'm curious as to where the thought, 'the forums mostly determine how many see the site' comes from? I've never thought of it that way, and I'm interested in understanding that view.

..that and looking at naked people."

Hi Dai

So my thought process behind that comes from

All men do….

All couples do….

All woman do…..

All TS/TV…..

That can then skew the way people look at the site or how they use it

Only my opinion but feedback is normally given if negative. We see many threads that say how bad certain elements of the site are but never positive ones and what actually does work or what people get from it

So if you read enough negativity you soon can soon end up believing it.

If we believe 30 odd thousand people use the site and I see no more than about 100 people using or posting on the forums there’s a whole lot of site outside of the forums that we may be put off using as we assume it’s all or people are all the same

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By *carlettsWoman
7 weeks ago

Harpenden

The positives are I've met some amazing people and made some great friends over the years.

I also think some of the not so great side of sites like this make you realise that there are all sorts of different people that make the world go round and help you build resilience for dealing with people like them in a more positive way..

I love the forums hearing other people's points of views maybe that's cos I'm a nosey cow!

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By *eliWoman
7 weeks ago

"So a bit about me. I have been on and off here over 12 years. During this time the site has changed but as importantly I have changed. Not just in age and waist size but outlook "

Hey Jack, we've been on for a similar length of time! It's weird seeing it written down isn't it? Our outlook can definitely affect how we view things - confirmation bias can be such a pain.

"Once upon a time I was part of all or most of the socials on here but now I’m trying to organise one I have had 3 people tell me they maybe interested "

Oh nice! What socials were those? I've attended a few myself. I'm sure I've seen people ask on a thread you started about a social for clarification, express interest... more than three. I do think when you originally said you wanted to keep it to people who haven't really attended socials etc... it might have made people think 'Hey, there's no point expressing interest as he'll say no'. Like myself.

"Day after day of repeat posts with the same comments in return. Some positive the most verging on bullying or shaming or disdain or taking it down another route. "
This is where that nifty little aforementioned bias comes in to play. I've seen lots of new comments, new posters and new energy recently here. A bit of bullying and shaming but would I say it's most? Nope, far from it. Your bias might lead you to see that though and that's fair enough. Mine is rather rose coloured currently.

"So…what are the positives? What keeps you here? "
Good question Jack. Lots of things. The wonderful friendships. The chance to do my style of flirting with beautiful people. Socials. The support and humour and quick wit that you come across. If the negatives outweighed the positives, I'd take a break. Return when feeling better. Or... start making threads I enjoy, come back to them. Interact with various people. Make my experience a more pleasant one.

"If it’s to look at naked people you can get than anywhere on line. "
I like looking, okay, fine, perving on people who don't have their bodies displayed elsewhere online. Please don't take that away from me.

"The forums are a small minority of the site and those that post even less so…yet they mostly determine how many see the site "

Forum users don't determine how many see the site. That's a fallacy I don't have the energy to unpick before coffee. Thank fuck huh?

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By *eliWoman
7 weeks ago

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/meets/1685647#last

I've found one of the threads! It sounds like people are potentially interested and more than three... if you start building it OP? They will come. 😊

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By *orseman82Man
7 weeks ago

Wiltshire

"https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/meets/1685647#last

I've found one of the threads! It sounds like people are potentially interested and more than three... if you start building it OP? They will come. 😊"

Great ‘field of dreams’ quote

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By *eoBloomsMan
7 weeks ago

Springfield

"https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/meets/1685647#last

I've found one of the threads! It sounds like people are potentially interested and more than three... if you start building it OP? They will come. 😊"

Yes there was quite a bit of interest Jack ! I think there would be more if there was a definite date.

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By *sWyldWoman
7 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I've been on here for the same amount of time . It's evolving constantly. It's great to see new faces as well as old .

Years ago I used to organise socials in Edinburgh which were really well attended . However the vibe at socials I've been to since didn't always feel as welcoming but I think that's down to my lack of effort to mingle.

You get out what you put in here!

I find the forums amusing, supportive and generally a good place to hang out when I log in. I avoid any drama and don't interact with negativity if I see it. (Though rare)

The forums are only a tiny part of my experience here though. I have met some wonderful people over the years , made some excellent memories and I stay for the possibilities.

As for pics, I don't tend to post photos of myself in my underwear anywhere else and it's another aspect of the site I actually enjoy. Having a safe space to do that .

If fab stopped serving a purpose for me or it started to frustrate or annoy me , I'd step back.

You can't control others but you can choose how you respond and how you let it impact you .

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By *eliWoman
7 weeks ago

"https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/meets/1685647#last

I've found one of the threads! It sounds like people are potentially interested and more than three... if you start building it OP? They will come. 😊

Yes there was quite a bit of interest Jack ! I think there would be more if there was a definite date.

Yep, definitely! Who is it open to OP? I think once there's a date set, you'll find that people will sign up, even more so if they see friends are attending etc. 😊

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By *ellhungvweMan
7 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I don’t think the forums are the main part of the site. Most people don’t even know they exist. The forums only really have a very small fraction of the site on them.

For me, the reason I am on the the site is to meet people. I have met some great people over the years but that is through the site not the forums.

I dip in and out of the forums - sometimes they can be interesting. Other times less so.

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By *a LunaWoman
7 weeks ago

Wherever the wind takes me

The forums have not changed. The people who use them have changed.

Yes people leave, but most of those come back. Again and again in most cases AND they return to the forums. Again and again.

Why would they do that if the forums were such an unwelcoming place?

I can’t speak for the rest of your post as not privy to your inbox and yours and others personal experience and have never attended any forum/group socials.

However, whilst the forums can be a shitshow occasionally, for the most part they are filled with good people. Funny people. Some intelligent people. And some very caring people. They by far outweigh the dickheads.

My opinion and experience. Having been on the site and the forums since 2016.

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By *viatrixWoman
7 weeks ago

Redhill

If the forum determined wherher I’d stay here or not, I’d have left a long, long tome ago. Truth is it is a minuscule part of my Fab experience.

I’ve tried starting threads and they barely get to 50 posts or so- and most of those are my own replies

I am home most of the time now and bored silly, so I post much more than I used to, but when i take off again I’ll just nip in and out to read like I used to.

So the forum isn’t what keeps me here at all. It’s the chats outside of it and the people I’ve met. I do understand that for some it is a big part of their lives.

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By *parkle1974Woman
7 weeks ago

Leeds

The positives are some of the lovely people. I interact/meet more with others who don't use the forums which lately have been a bit. .meh!

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By *ealitybitesMan
7 weeks ago

Belfast

The forums are the only part of the site I've used for the last 5 years or more because I'm not currently meeting.

I rarely spend more than 30 minutes a day on fab and it's unusual if I contribute to more than 2 threads in the same day.

I've experienced the good and bad of the forums over the years and strangely most of my negative experiences have been through people lauded as forum glitterati and lovely people.

I've started 200 plus threads and can count on one hand the number of those that have had more than 30 replies. I've only ever had one that reached 175 and the subject of that was about reaching the elusive 175. The vast majority haven't hit double figures.

The positives of the site for me have been meeting some of my best friends and even though most of them aren't on the site anymore and I don't use the site to keep in touch with any of them, I still dip in and out just because overall my time here has been a positive experience.

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By *ansoffateMan
7 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I think the bullying and shaming has diminished.

I'm sure there's a few squabbles going on amongst the subtext and all of that, but it's not too hard to rise above all of that crap.

It's mostly just people blowing off a little steam and a few people getting a bit precious from time to time.

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By *obilebottomMan
7 weeks ago

All over

For me the experience is overall positive. Some nice people to interact with, lots of escapism from life's daily stuff that we all need to get away from time to time, learnt a lot of stuff I never knew or even needed help with, met some lovely people and made great connections. Yes there are some who are not my cup of tea, but usually there wouldn't be in in real life either. Mainly those with extreme opinions, abusive to others, sipped in political dogma or uncaring for those less fortunate in society. If I need a break, hide the profile and get back when ready - only done once. When I post a thread, I don't fret as to who will reply or indeed if any will but like it when people engage and enjoy the bunter, laugh, good interaction and sometimes just passing the time. Lots of nice, funny, and caring people about. Lots like cake and some even love olives. What's not to like.

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By *oiluvfunMan
7 weeks ago

Penrith

I’ve been using Fab for 13 years now, and considering I live in Cumbria, which is a large, but sparsely populated county, I’ve met quite a few people through this site.

I’ve never been to an organised social though, as the nearest to me would be over in the North East and I don’t see any benefit for making that effort, if I’m unlikely to get any future meets from it, because of distance.

Staying in Fab keeps me using the the forums, because Fab can be a very lonely place as a solo male otherwise. The forums (or the people who use them) aren’t what they were before covid, but the chances of me meeting anyone through forum interactions are slim to none anyway, again, because of my location, so I feel free to say whatever I like. Sometimes I receive positive comments, mostly it’s the opposite, but who cares? I have met two ladies as a direct result of forum banter, that’s one every 6 1/2 years of being in Fab……

I stay in Fab because I do get to meet people, although I am ‘celebrating’ no new meets for a year this month

But Fab is an extra to life, a cheeky amusement, and I’m not ready to hang up the condoms just yet

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By *oml and mwgcCouple
7 weeks ago

Birstall

"I don’t think the forums are the main part of the site. Most people don’t even know they exist. The forums only really have a very small fraction of the site on them.

For me, the reason I am on the the site is to meet people. I have met some great people over the years but that is through the site not the forums.

I dip in and out of the forums - sometimes they can be interesting. Other times less so."

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By *oml and mwgcCouple
7 weeks ago

Birstall

I've been here almost since the begining of Fab.

The forums are a very small part of my Fab experience.

I don't think much has changed on the forums.

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By *h3rry Bomb80Man
7 weeks ago

the moon

Positive ➕

Negative ➖

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By *ora the explorerWoman
7 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

Forums are just a bit of entertainment for me. I scroll past most of the threads. Some I comment on, some I just read and don’t comment. I used to go to a lot of group socials. Not so much anymore. As for fab itself, every now and then I find a needle in the big haystack. I’m not really too invested in it all to be honest, I suppose I’m just used to being here now!

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By *midnight-Woman
7 weeks ago

...

[Removed by poster at 02/04/25 09:23:35]

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By *midnight-Woman
7 weeks ago

...

I've had a fantastic time on fab and I would say it's been pretty positive.

Seeing the multitude and variety of different bodies has definitely helped me to develop my own body-positivity mentality and confidence and 'almost' embrace my many imperfections, which I most definitely didn't have prefab.

I've been to lots of group socials and met some great people - they are one of my favourite parts of fab - I wish I had energy to do one every weekend!

There are plenty of people who thrive on drama, but it's relatively easy to avoid them if it's not your thing ... Just as you hopefully would in life. If you feel targeted, my best advice is to report / block move on.

Most of my mailbox /meets have been non-forum related ... Indeed most non-forummers seem too busy having sex to participate in some of the childish nonsense in the forums

Hopefully it'll entertain me for at least another couple of years until I retire

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
7 weeks ago

kent

"I've had a fantastic time on fab and I would say it's been pretty positive.

I've been to lots of group socials and met some great people - they are one of my favourite parts of fab - I wish I had energy to do one every weekend!

Most of my mailbox /meets have been non-forum related ... Indeed most non-forummers seem too busy having sex to participate in some of the childish nonsense in the forums

Hopefully it'll entertain me for at least another couple of years until I retire "

Fab points well made. Agreed 😘

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
7 weeks ago

East Sussex

Our experience of fab and the forum has been mostly positive. Like most social situations there have been negative experiences but that's life. Some days it's easier to see it positively than others and that very much depends on how I feel about myself.

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By *rHotNottsMan
7 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I don’t pay any attention to all that , I’m here to meet people and it works well. I don’t even look at pics at or read profiles unless I’m chatting & planning to meet.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
7 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

I would say I am pretty much only on Fab for the forums. I have had some fantastic experiences in the past away from the forums and met some outstanding people.

If fab was to shut down for me now (or more realistically get a lifetime ban) then I would probably close Fab down and lose the opportunity to speak to a few more selected people.

Those people I do speak to away from here on Telegram really have had a positive impact on my already positive life. There are some truly amazing people on the forums, where we only get a glimmer of their persona. Having a coffee and a catch up with forum people and bringing to life their character away from the keyboard is truly fucking awesome.

The drama on here is far outweighed by the positives. It's always the same people baiting anyway and my belief is that they are fairly insecure in themselves. It actually makes me laugh, and appreciate the ones I like more. I just need to stop taking the bait a little more and calm down on the bans.

It's what you make it. When the fun stops, stop. But go out in a blaze of glory...

...then no doubt return. And moan.

*Last bit was a generalisation.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
7 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I'm here due to popular demand and the fact that other sites are a bit boring

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan
7 weeks ago

Manchester / Cardiff

"I would say I am pretty much only on Fab for the forums. I have had some fantastic experiences in the past away from the forums and met some outstanding people.

If fab was to shut down for me now (or more realistically get a lifetime ban) then I would probably close Fab down and lose the opportunity to speak to a few more selected people.

It's what you make it. When the fun stops, stop. But go out in a blaze of glory...

...then no doubt return. And moan.

*Last bit was a generalisation."

Thanks....

that's my Jon Bon Jovi earworm sorted for the rest of the day!

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman
7 weeks ago

Manchester

The forums are such a tiny part of my fab experience. I have lurked for a long time but only actively bothered engaging more over the last few months even though I've been on fab for like 4 years. Most of my meets have been via messaging, and most of my friend list/verifications are people I've met via clubs and want to keep in touch with.

The forums are a tiny microcosm and absolutely do not represent the majority of users on fab. I think most don't even know they exist. They are just very important to the people who do use them.

I only use them because I'm bored, 90% of my interaction is facetious/tongue in cheek and I try and avoid any drama/bitching etc. Though it has allowed me to connect with interesting people I may not have otherwise. So that's a plus.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
7 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"I would say I am pretty much only on Fab for the forums. I have had some fantastic experiences in the past away from the forums and met some outstanding people.

If fab was to shut down for me now (or more realistically get a lifetime ban) then I would probably close Fab down and lose the opportunity to speak to a few more selected people.

It's what you make it. When the fun stops, stop. But go out in a blaze of glory...

...then no doubt return. And moan.

*Last bit was a generalisation.

Thanks....

that's my Jon Bon Jovi earworm sorted for the rest of the day!"

As soon as I typed it Dai, I thought that 😂

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By *exxyyDy11Man
7 weeks ago

North West

I've been on here nearly 18 months. The positive for me are the interactions I've had with people I've met whilst having fun, socials or in clubs. The forums make up most of my usage on here because I'm a single guy on here. A drop in the ocean and I quite like the conversations on the forums. So I can't complain.

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By *alcon2Man
7 weeks ago

North

I think I joined about 4 years ago originally.

I was having lots of surgery and the recovery time drew me to interact on the forums.

Also i had a few modelling pics & found fab satisfied that mild exhibitionist streak.

Sometimes on the forums I've asked and found practical & philosophical advice ..and found discussions about creativity and arts interesting.

I'm actually not particularly interested in swinging though..

If enough people told me I shouldn't be here, I'd leave.

(And I'd probably agree.)

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By *eroLondonMan
7 weeks ago

Mayfair

"𝘚𝘰…𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴? 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?"

•

I'm not on any other site, portal or app other than Fab. What keeps me here are the stimulating and interesting friendships and conversations that I engage in, in private and on the fora. The social aspects keep me enthused - the one-to-one socials are the cornerstone of my Fab journey. What also keeps me here are the opportunities to meet a tiny cluster of women for naked distractions. The latter is what really and genuinely keeps me here.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
7 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"𝘚𝘰…𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴? 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?

•

It's weird. Or actually I don't know if I am fucking weird but I honestly think I would trade in the opportunity to have sex with the hottest 5 women on here to get a select bunch of guys that I find pretty amusing and good eggs, get a minibus and hit Tenby for a long weekend. Probably talking about 'the 5 hottest birds from fab we would shag'

yeah, I think I'm weird. 😂

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By *ealitybitesMan
7 weeks ago

Belfast

"𝘚𝘰…𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴? 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?

•

yeah, I think I'm weird. 😂"

You are weird. Everyone knows it should be a red double decker.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
7 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"𝘚𝘰…𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴? 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?

•

yeah, I think I'm weird. 😂

You are weird. Everyone knows it should be a red double decker. "

And I know who the Sir Cliff is of Fab too...

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By *eroLondonMan
7 weeks ago

Mayfair

"...I would trade in the opportunity to have sex with the 𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙨𝙩 5 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣 on here...

...yeah, I think I'm weird. 😂"

•

I think you're beyond salvation and totally weird: I could think of 5 mediocre women on here, "hottest" is pushing it.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
7 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"...I would trade in the opportunity to have sex with the 𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙨𝙩 5 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣 on here...

...yeah, I think I'm weird. 😂

•

I think you're beyond salvation and totally weird: I could think of 5 mediocre women on here, "hottest" is pushing it."

Arise Sir Cliff 😂

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