FabSwingers.com forum: Separated people cheating?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My mate has been separated for 18 months when her husband moved out and she stayed with the kids. He won't divorce her because he thinks they will get back together even though she definitely won't, so she's left in a bit of a limbo world.

She won't date because her ex gets jealous and would make things difficult for her. But I say she should as she's still young and she's separated so he has no say in her life now.

What do you think? Should she date (if she finds someone) or would that be cheating?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I am living in sin then...I am seperated not divorced I can't find the fucker but when I was ready I went back into dating..It helps that my ex is somewhere across the Atlanic...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not cheating at all

My ex did that to me when I tried to ' date' when we split up. It went on and on and in the end thats when I decided it was best not to have relationships

She has her own life and she can't let him rule it.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"My mate has been separated for 18 months when her husband moved out and she stayed with the kids. He won't divorce her because he thinks they will get back together even though she definitely won't, so she's left in a bit of a limbo world.

She won't date because her ex gets jealous and would make things difficult for her. But I say she should as she's still young and she's separated so he has no say in her life now.

What do you think? Should she date (if she finds someone) or would that be cheating?"
I may be missing something here : She has categorically said there is no chance of them getting back together, right?

If she has told him that then she is a free woman and should do what feels right to her. That said, she may well not be ready for it yet as even the person asking for the split will need time to adjust.

She needs to give herself that time - and be very clear with him that there is no chance - if that is what she thinks.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Date and it is not cheating as the commitment between them is in his head.... and possible heart.

Unless it is in hers as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Since they've seperated its not upto him to dictate what she does with her own life if she's ready she should go out into the big world and enjoy it regardless of how he feels best wishes to her xx

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Of course it is not cheating! As soon as a relationship is over, regardless if divorce has gone through or not, someone in my eyes is a singleton again, albeit with a bit of baggage, but then in this day and age, who doesn't have baggage??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As soon as she left him and said it was over she was a free woman to do as she pleases.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been separated for a while now and have dated and got my profile on the site. My ex is in boyfriend number 8 or thereabouts.

My ex know about the dating but not about me being on the site.

We both agreed it was over and free to do as we please which is good.

So she should go for it and start afresh

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

Circumstances make the case someone told me recently.

OP, I am very sad for your frined. This is not a good situation to be in but I am afraid that apart from raising the questions below I really am unable to give you a direct answer.

To take things literally, they are still married so it is and should be (for the hardcore I hate cheaters mob) technically cheating....wait don't bite my head off!!

If she/he (remember there are 2 people involved in a couple) told him/her about every person she/he dates whilst they are still married it could be understood as 'my hubby/wife is aware therefore it is not cheating'. Thats one way of seeing it.

What if he/she tells him/her and he/she does not approve but he/she continues seeing other men/women is she/he cheating? In my opinion yes.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Personally after my separation the last thing on my mind was other men. I felt a failure, wanted to protect my girls and be there for them...my libido went.

But we're all different.

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By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa

I say the sooner she gets on with her own life, the sooner he'll realise their relationship is definitely over and maybe get on with his own life and stop trying to control her......

When I seperated after 24 years and 3 kids in tow, youngest being 5, I was dating within weeks, but we had gone through a long drawn out process of going to relate, it was a relief when he finally went, I felt I could finally get on with my life again.

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

If they have separated and sees no future what so ever I would say fuck him. Go out girl let your hair down and have some fun.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"If they have separated and sees no future what so ever I would say fuck him. Go out girl let your hair down and have some fun.

"
Thought she did not want to fuck him anymore?

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

I ment fuck him off.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I ment fuck him off.

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

she is single...if she can afford it she can start divorce proceedings even without his consent.

He doesn't have to agree but perhaps her sending papers may be enough for him to get the message

I did my divorce myself and it wasn't expensive...

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

lets stop piddling about just send me her number if he's a problem with it let the games begin haha

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

If he left her she can get a divorce on the grounds of desertion after two years.

If she kicked him out she can divorce after two years if he agrees.

If they are apart five years she doesn't need his consent for anything.

She's been apart eighteen months so just another six to go.

They are separated. He has no hold on her whatsoever.

She may however, like to make the separation judicial until the divorce.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it was me, I would make sure the other half knows that it is over between us, and that we are free to life our separate lives as each of us see fit.

Then I would start having some fun on my own terms.

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By *hris148Man
over a year ago

If separated, why not see other people? I did

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"she is single...if she can afford it she can start divorce proceedings even without his consent.

He doesn't have to agree but perhaps her sending papers may be enough for him to get the message

I did my divorce myself and it wasn't expensive..."

She can't afford it. I think she's a bit scared to do the divorce papers in case of what he might do.

Thanks for the responses, I guess it's a definite yes she's single.

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