FabSwingers.com forum: Stop Thief!

By *urves and Mischief OP Woman
17 weeks ago

North West

You’re a burglar but you only steal things to slightly inconvenience your victims.

What are you stealing?

I’m taking one of every left shoe they own.

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

All the forks

Fuck em, they can use spoons instead

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By *ChubsMan
17 weeks ago

West Midlands

TV remotes

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By *eoBloomsMan
17 weeks ago

Springfield

Batteries from the remotes.🤭

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
17 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"All the forks

Fuck em, they can use spoons instead"

I'll take the spoons... Have you tried eating soup with a fork? 🤣

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

All the toilet roll, just leaving one sheet placed delicately on the side

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By *eneralKenobiMan
17 weeks ago

North Angus

Light bulbs

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By *antasticMrFucks07Man
17 weeks ago

plymouth

"Light bulbs "

The one from the fridge

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By *umalotagainMan
17 weeks ago

a town called malice

The WiFi code

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By *he JuddermanMan
17 weeks ago

Brighton

The front door

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By *ike12thMan
17 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

All the fuses

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By *eoBloomsMan
17 weeks ago

Springfield

"Batteries from the remotes.🤭"

And the sex toys 😈

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By *pice-meWoman
17 weeks ago

Home

Plates and bowls.. they can use a cup 🤣🤣

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By *ldbutrandyMan
17 weeks ago

West Midlands

All their spare change.so when they need to buy something for 50p they'll need to change a note.

Then I'd pinch the change again

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By *allnHandsome12Man
17 weeks ago

Teesside

Empty all the bottles of shampoo and fill them with water so they feel the same weight.

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By *oughmanMan
17 weeks ago

Sunderland

All the chargers for everything.

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By *urves and Mischief OP Woman
17 weeks ago

North West

"Batteries from the remotes.🤭

And the sex toys 😈"

Thankfully most of mine have a USB charge 😂

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By *NormalMan01Man
17 weeks ago

Harrogate

"Batteries from the remotes.🤭

And the sex toys 😈

Thankfully most of mine have a USB charge 😂"

USB cables.

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By *otally BenettonCouple
17 weeks ago

shropshire

I’m taking the kettle but have to admit that this would be way beyond mild inconvience in our house.

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By *entleswinger69Man
17 weeks ago

exeter

I’m taking all the loo roll,they have newspaper!!

I hope

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By *eoBloomsMan
17 weeks ago

Springfield

"Batteries from the remotes.🤭

And the sex toys 😈

Thankfully most of mine have a USB charge 😂"

Makes note to steal the USB leads too 😆

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By *eneralKenobiMan
17 weeks ago

North Angus

"Light bulbs

The one from the fridge "

The one from the oven is bloody inconvenient too

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By *EAT..85Woman
17 weeks ago

Nottingham

"I’m taking all the loo roll,they have newspaper!!

I hope

Who has newspaper these days?!?!

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By *urvyLady4BlackMenWoman
17 weeks ago

Norwich

"I’m taking the kettle but have to admit that this would be way beyond mild inconvience in our house."

You can use a pan on the hob or your microwave, you'll be okay! 😅

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
17 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

All the cheese.

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By *NormalMan01Man
17 weeks ago

Harrogate

I’ll steel all your spoons.

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By *urves and Mischief OP Woman
17 weeks ago

North West

"All the cheese. "

Oh that’s mean!

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
17 weeks ago

Leeds

The square pin out of the middle of all the door handles.

The mr

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By *izeableGentlemanMan
17 weeks ago

Bolton

One sock from every pair.

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By *EAT..85Woman
17 weeks ago

Nottingham

I'd steel/change your Alexa wake word 🫣

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

Most of the milk but leaving enough that it doesn't quite do for a cup of tea.

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By *entleswinger69Man
17 weeks ago

exeter

"I’m taking all the loo roll,they have newspaper!!

I hope

Who has newspaper these days?!?! "
I’m sure you get them through the door weekly don’t you? Very good for cleaning windows and mirrors!!

Mind you

I might as well take them too!!

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

The mobile phone no more fabswingers/ facebook/Snapchat or TikTok 😜

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
17 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

All the brushes.

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

All the door handles and close all the doors

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By *EAT..85Woman
17 weeks ago

Nottingham

"I’m taking all the loo roll,they have newspaper!!

I hope

Who has newspaper these days?!?! I’m sure you get them through the door weekly don’t you? Very good for cleaning windows and mirrors!!

Mind you

I might as well take them too!!"

Nope. We live in a digital age now. I've got art pads though, that will have to suffice.

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By *lynJMan
17 weeks ago

Morden

All the plugs for the sinks/baths

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By *ynamite500Man
17 weeks ago

Angus

T.v or sky Remote!! 😈

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By *lynJMan
17 weeks ago

Morden

All the bath towels

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By *obilebottomMan
17 weeks ago

All over

The radiator key

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By *entleswinger69Man
17 weeks ago

exeter

"I’m taking all the loo roll,they have newspaper!!

I hope

Who has newspaper these days?!?! I’m sure you get them through the door weekly don’t you? Very good for cleaning windows and mirrors!!

Mind you

I might as well take them too!!

Nope. We live in a digital age now. I've got art pads though, that will have to suffice. "
lock your pencils up!!

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
17 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

If it ain't hearts I'm not interested.

Ok, maybe your make up.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
17 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"All the cheese. "

She said ‘slightly’ inconvenience, not life or death survival items

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By *olinOfBathMan
17 weeks ago

Corsham

I'd take every other key from their key-ring - and replace each one with an almost identical, but slightly different, key.

I'd also raise every toilet seat, cover each bowl with cling film, then replace the seats.

Finally, I'd get a big bag of chips, liberally coat them with a powerful liquid laxative, and spread them all over the roof and bonnet of their car. (This one is especially effective in towns with a large seagull population.)

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

All of the ring plugs from their radiators so they spill water everywhere when they get turned on

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By *ontWannaMissASwingCouple
17 weeks ago

Bristol

The metal circle with the wheels that goes underneath the microwave plate to make it turn

Every allen key

The shelf out of each kitchen cupboard

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By *hrills and adventureMan
17 weeks ago

Winchester

All their phone chargers. That or all the the plugs from their bath and sinks.

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By *EAT..85Woman
17 weeks ago

Nottingham

"The metal circle with the wheels that goes underneath the microwave plate to make it turn

Devil incarnate! 😱

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By *aissez-faireMan
17 weeks ago

Right behind you…. Boo

The taps, well the handles to be specific.

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By *ionaScarletTV/TS
17 weeks ago

Dundee

All the knobs from the cooker.

And the soap tray from the washing machine.

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By *estructionDollyWoman
17 weeks ago

The Deep Dark Woods

Replace all their spare lightbulbs with ones that are the wrong size/wattage but similar enough they won't notice til they're up a ladder

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By *urves and Mischief OP Woman
17 weeks ago

North West

All the bristles from the head of their toothbrush

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

The cheese!

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By *rymedownunderMan
17 weeks ago

London/Australia

Phone chargers

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By *9 kisses.Man
17 weeks ago

clacton on sea

Tea bags,

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

All the labels off the cupboard tins done this at a house party when I was a teenager (mr)

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By *relanddirectMan
17 weeks ago

cheshire & london

"You’re a burglar but you only steal things to slightly inconvenience your victims.

What are you stealing?

I’m taking one of every left shoe they own.

We did this in a posh hotel! Leave your shoes for the porter to polish over night. Alcohol suggested it would be good to take all the left shoes to our rooms

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By *ister_ee_1981Man
17 weeks ago

S-Exeter

The House key. Locking the door as I leave...

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By *urves and Mischief OP Woman
17 weeks ago

North West

"You’re a burglar but you only steal things to slightly inconvenience your victims.

What are you stealing?

I’m taking one of every left shoe they own.

We did this in a posh hotel! Leave your shoes for the porter to polish over night. Alcohol suggested it would be good to take all the left shoes to our rooms "

Ah alcohol and acquiring items … always such a good idea at the time 😂

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By *entleswinger69Man
17 weeks ago

exeter

I would take the house key and post it to the local police station for the to collect at their convenience

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By *aissez-faireMan
17 weeks ago

Right behind you…. Boo

One leg from every chair, sofa and table ….. while leaving them perfectly balanced as I leave.

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By *dsucksTV/TS
17 weeks ago

crofton park

Remove all the labels on tinned food.

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By *phrodisiac2000Man
17 weeks ago

saddleworth NW

The dodgy box remote

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By *a LunaWoman
17 weeks ago

o o OO o o

Cutlery specifically the knives.

Good luck eating your steak with that spoon

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By *ynamicnatureMan
17 weeks ago

Doncaster

I don't know what I would take? But I would wet all their underwear, wrap it in cling film and put it in their freezer,😁

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By *ou345Woman
17 weeks ago

somewhere out there

Everything in the 'junk' draw. I'd be lost without all the crap in mine.

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
17 weeks ago

kent

"You’re a burglar but you only steal things to slightly inconvenience your victims.

What are you stealing?

I’m taking one of every left shoe they own.

The biscuits. All. The. Biscuits 🍪

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
17 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"Cutlery specifically the knives.

Good luck eating your steak with that spoon

It's doable eat it caveman style lol

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By *ildTimes.Man
17 weeks ago

Wherever I May Roam

The light bulbs from the fridge, their bath plug and putting salt in their sugar jar. 🥪

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By *umalotagainMan
17 weeks ago

a town called malice

"Cutlery specifically the knives.

Good luck eating your steak with that spoon

It's doable eat it caveman style lol"

Look at you getting all animalistic

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

Your Pillow, if your like me it takes ages to get used to a new one

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By *arnayguyMan
17 weeks ago

Durham Tees

The thingumyjig and the whatchamacallit.

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By *ldbutrandyMan
17 weeks ago

West Midlands

"Remove all the labels on tinned food. "

I like this idea.but why no take it up a notch and replace them.....mixed up !

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By *ddie1966Man
17 weeks ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

Fuses from the plugs.

It's been done to me.....

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By *he Silver FuxMan
17 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

Just one of the hinges on every toilet seat

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By *es not the MessiahMan
17 weeks ago

3rd rock from the sun

The shafts to that link the door handles together

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By *aughtywelsh89Man
17 weeks ago

Pontyclun

All the coffee

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By *orbidden eastMan
17 weeks ago

london dodging electric bikes

All the door handles 🤣

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
17 weeks ago

Sussex

"Batteries from the remotes.🤭"

Spare batteries for above

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By *ife NinjaMan
17 weeks ago

Dunfermline

Toilet rolls. They're expensive 🤓

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By *ai Hard 2 - Dai HarderMan
17 weeks ago

Manchester / Cardiff

I'll wait til Christmas and nab all the presents from under the tree. ...but that's not the best part; the best part is I'd block all the plug-holes and overflows from the sinks and leave the taps running.

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By *eoBloomsMan
17 weeks ago

Springfield

"I'll wait til Christmas and nab all the presents from under the tree. ...but that's not the best part; the best part is I'd block all the plug-holes and overflows from the sinks and leave the taps running. "

Dai ! John McClane would be appalled.🎅🤣

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By *igblackchocolateMan
17 weeks ago

London & Essex

Take all your snacks and coffee

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
17 weeks ago

Sussex

Clothes pegs... mwaah hahaha

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By *urves and Mischief OP Woman
17 weeks ago

North West

Dai ! John McClane would be appalled.🎅🤣"

But the sticky bandits would be immensely proud

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By *urves and Mischief OP Woman
17 weeks ago

North West

"Remove all the labels on tinned food.

I like this idea.but why no take it up a notch and replace them.....mixed up !

Evil! I like it 🤣

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
17 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

Put cress seed in the carpet and water it.

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By *eoBloomsMan
17 weeks ago

Springfield

"Put cress seed in the carpet and water it."

There's a film Short Cuts where a character does that with grass seed.

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By *tr8MrEMan
17 weeks ago

somewhere near Sheffield

Take the cat and leave ransom note

"Suck my cock through the letter box, or the pussy gets it"

Ok, perhaps it was funnier in my head

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By *riel13Woman
17 weeks ago

Northampton

Chargers and all the door/drawer handles and knobs

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
17 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"Put cress seed in the carpet and water it.

There's a film Short Cuts where a character does that with grass seed.

It's an old forces trick when someone goes on leave for a few weeks or God forbid on your for months

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
17 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

*tour

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By *otts-manMan
17 weeks ago

Long Eaton

One AAA battery out of the TV remote

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By *oorman 2025Man
17 weeks ago

manchester

I'd take all the fuses out of the plugs so nothing worked for them next day

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By *tephanjMan
17 weeks ago

Kettering

Remove all the door handles and glue the doors shut

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

Their wheelie bins.

Good luck trying to get the binmen to pick a black bag up off the street.😔

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By *ichaelsmyMan
17 weeks ago

doiglas

"You’re a burglar but you only steal things to slightly inconvenience your victims.

What are you stealing?

I’m taking one of every left shoe they own.

someone already takes the teaspoons from the drawer.

someone hides my tape measures, leaving me with only the 30m one.

someone takes the last of the buscuits when want one (2/3 anyway)

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By *ete hMan
17 weeks ago

Penzance

The little racks that stop things falling out the fridge every time you open it 😅

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