FabSwingers.com forum: Where does

By (user no longer on site) OP
17 weeks ago

Where does confidence become arrogance?

Are you confident in yourself, in your looks, your personality and in life in general?

If not why not, and has anyone ever accused you of being arrogant?

No judgment of others please 🙏

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By *vaRoseWoman
17 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

I find arrogance quite repulsive.

There’s a difference between feeling good in oneself and someone who believes they’re above everyone else.

The arrogant person will boast about their abilities constantly and belittle others in an attempt to achieve validation for their status, a confident person doesn’t need to do that.

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By *avid 50Man
17 weeks ago

kendal

A person who is naturally arrogant tends to come across as being rude and humiliating to others , they have lots of acquaintances but very few friends

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By *ellhungvweMan
17 weeks ago

Cheltenham

Confidence is when you know what you know and you don’t need anyone else to know it.

Arrogance is when you know what you know and you don’t care who else knows it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
17 weeks ago

East Sussex

I don't think arrogance and confidence are the same thing at all.

I said yesterday that arrogance is a personality trait all of its own and quite separate from confidence, confident people have no need to be arrogant

I'm fairly confident in myself and personality and in most social situations but age causes wobbles that creep up on you without warning, especially where physicality is concerned.

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By *obilebottomMan
17 weeks ago

All over

"I don't think arrogance and confidence are the same thing at all.

I said yesterday that arrogance is a personality trait all of its own and quite separate from confidence, confident people have no need to be arrogant

This but sadly so often confused and such an unattractive trait.

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By *eoBloomsMan
17 weeks ago

Springfield

I don't agree that arrogance is never attractive - some people can definitely carry it off if they have the goods to back it up and the right personality. Equally some people are confident with little reason to be so, and that's unattractive to me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
17 weeks ago

East Sussex

"I don't agree that arrogance is never attractive - some people can definitely carry it off if they have the goods to back it up and the right personality. Equally some people are confident with little reason to be so, and that's unattractive to me."

I can understand misolaced confidence in your ability to do a job is a bad thing but I can't agree that personal confidence socially or in your looks is.

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By *obilebottomMan
17 weeks ago

All over

I can't see how arrogance can ever be attractive no matter how they carry it. Perhaps a bit entertaining or something in certan situations but that's all imo.

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By *eoBloomsMan
17 weeks ago

Springfield

I can't see how arrogance can ever be attractive no matter how they carry it. Perhaps a bit entertaining or something in certan situations but that's all imo. "

What about someone like the footballer Ronaldo? He is pretty arrogant yet clearly very attractive to many.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
17 weeks ago

East Sussex

I can't see how arrogance can ever be attractive no matter how they carry it. Perhaps a bit entertaining or something in certan situations but that's all imo.

What about someone like the footballer Ronaldo? He is pretty arrogant yet clearly very attractive to many. "

I don't think he's arrogant. I think he works really hard to hone his skill and knows that he's very good at what he does. To me that's confidence in his ability as a footballer.

Andrew Tate is arrogant.

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By *obilebottomMan
17 weeks ago

All over

I can't see how arrogance can ever be attractive no matter how they carry it. Perhaps a bit entertaining or something in certan situations but that's all imo.

What about someone like the footballer Ronaldo? He is pretty arrogant yet clearly very attractive to many. "

Sorry, wouldn't know. I go with the official definition of arrogant 'unpleasantly proud and behaving as if you are more important than, or know more than, other people' and that is not attractive to me personally. Someone who is confident im their own abilities but don't shout about it or belittle others are quite a different thing to me. But I will probably agree that that misguided arrogance is possibly attractive to some.

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By *eoBloomsMan
17 weeks ago

Springfield

I can't see how arrogance can ever be attractive no matter how they carry it. Perhaps a bit entertaining or something in certan situations but that's all imo.

What about someone like the footballer Ronaldo? He is pretty arrogant yet clearly very attractive to many.

I don't think he's arrogant. I think he works really hard to hone his skill and knows that he's very good at what he does. To me that's confidence in his ability as a footballer.

But doesn't our difference of opinion show that what we see as confidence or arrogance is often a subjective fine line, and that the two qualities are not so distinct?

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By *eoBloomsMan
17 weeks ago

Springfield

I also think a lot of this is cultural. In British culture being modest and self effecting is regarded as a positive, but that's certainly not true in other countries. What the British regard as arrogance would be seen as confidence elsewhere.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
17 weeks ago

East Sussex

I can't see how arrogance can ever be attractive no matter how they carry it. Perhaps a bit entertaining or something in certan situations but that's all imo.

What about someone like the footballer Ronaldo? He is pretty arrogant yet clearly very attractive to many.

I don't think he's arrogant. I think he works really hard to hone his skill and knows that he's very good at what he does. To me that's confidence in his ability as a footballer.

But doesn't our difference of opinion show that what we see as confidence or arrogance is often a subjective fine line, and that the two qualities are not so distinct? "

To me, no.

This is not directed at you but a general observation. I think people often label confident people as arrogant if they don't particularly like them

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By *eliWoman
17 weeks ago

"I think people often label confident people as arrogant if they don't particularly like them "

Yep. You only have to read through threads on this topic to see that's true.

There's also a lot to be said for own biases, our environmental influences as to what we perceive as arrogant.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
17 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

When people like me, I'm confident.

When people don't like me, I'm arrogant.

That's pretty much it 💜

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By *eoBloomsMan
17 weeks ago

Springfield

But doesn't our difference of opinion show that what we see as confidence or arrogance is often a subjective fine line, and that the two qualities are not so distinct?

To me, no.

This is not directed at you but a general observation. I think people often label confident people as arrogant if they don't particularly like them "

One of my favourite people in sport is the football manager Jose Mourinho who famously labelled himself The Special One ! By any reasonable definition he can be an arrogant person (professionally) yet he's both very popular and attractive.

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By *obilebottomMan
17 weeks ago

All over

I can't see how arrogance can ever be attractive no matter how they carry it. Perhaps a bit entertaining or something in certan situations but that's all imo.

What about someone like the footballer Ronaldo? He is pretty arrogant yet clearly very attractive to many.

I don't think he's arrogant. I think he works really hard to hone his skill and knows that he's very good at what he does. To me that's confidence in his ability as a footballer.

But doesn't our difference of opinion show that what we see as confidence or arrogance is often a subjective fine line, and that the two qualities are not so distinct?

To me, no.

This is not directed at you but a general observation. I think people often label confident people as arrogant if they don't particularly like them "

That is certainly true but Leo is right that the two are often confused depending in one's one beliefs and values I think. For example I like a confident manager at work who can back up their decissions but not an arrogant one that goes out of their way to tell everone they know it all.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
17 weeks ago

East Sussex

But doesn't our difference of opinion show that what we see as confidence or arrogance is often a subjective fine line, and that the two qualities are not so distinct?

To me, no.

This is not directed at you but a general observation. I think people often label confident people as arrogant if they don't particularly like them

I don't particularly like him, I think he is very confident in his abilities rather than arrogant.

I think we're probably going to have to agree to disagree on this.

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
17 weeks ago

kent

I made peace with myself long ago, so although I might be the quietest person in the room, content just to observe everyone else, I also rarely feel nervous or anxious. I have nothing to prove, but no wish to stand out. I’m not really sure what that makes me.

The dividing line between confidence and arrogance isn’t a straight one. Some people appear arrogant precisely because they have no confidence and over compensate. Some people are supremely confident in their ability to do some things, but fall over when faced with something else. Most of us drift between states to some degree or another. Like with everything human related - it’s all just a big moveable feast.

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By *eoBloomsMan
17 weeks ago

Springfield

I feel I must now stop mentioning that I was officially voted Funniest Forumite 2025 as I will be labelled arrogant. Sad times indeed.😭😉

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By *obilebottomMan
17 weeks ago

All over

"I feel I must now stop mentioning that I was officially voted Funniest Forumite 2025 as I will be labelled arrogant. Sad times indeed.😭😉"

don't worry and in any case still most of the year to go holding the tittle. I am not relinguishing mine just yet

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By *eliWoman
17 weeks ago

"I feel I must now stop mentioning that I was officially voted Funniest Forumite 2025 as I will be labelled arrogant. Sad times indeed.😭😉"

Please don't. It reminds me of Hans' brilliant post about voting and the validity of it. I never want to forget that. Thank you.🩷

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By *eoBloomsMan
17 weeks ago

Springfield

"I feel I must now stop mentioning that I was officially voted Funniest Forumite 2025 as I will be labelled arrogant. Sad times indeed.😭😉

don't worry and in any case still most of the year to go holding the tittle. I am not relinguishing mine just yet

We are naturally modest in our achievements MB so I don’t think we need to worry.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
17 weeks ago

East Sussex

I worked with a man who was an arrogant little arse. The way he spoke to his wife on the phone and the accompanying eye rolling was horrible to witness and he made sure plenty did in an effort to prove his superiority over this mere woman. He swaggered about the workplace and generally made himself unpleasant with his superior attitude. He was excellent at his job and has had a very successful career but my goodness he was unpleasant to be around

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By *eoBloomsMan
17 weeks ago

Springfield

"I feel I must now stop mentioning that I was officially voted Funniest Forumite 2025 as I will be labelled arrogant. Sad times indeed.😭😉

Please don't. It reminds me of Hans' brilliant post about voting and the validity of it. I never want to forget that. Thank you.🩷"

I missed that but had better not go looking as it would probably prick my pomposity🎈

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By *host63Man
17 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

I have confidence at what I do well.

But as for my looks I am ok but it's not something I think about that's for others really to decide if I am good looking or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

I've been accused of being arrogant. People seem to mistake certain types of confidence for arrogance. I don't feel I'm above people nor do I think I'm the hottest guy out there. I've set a set standard for myself, but that doesn't mean I think people below that standard are below me. It's just preferences for physical aesthetics and personality.

Confidence comes from self love and assuredness but it's tempered with humility, respect, and an ability to raise people up without devolving into putting people down for the sake of feeling superior.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
17 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

"I feel I must now stop mentioning that I was officially voted Funniest Forumite 2025 as I will be labelled arrogant. Sad times indeed.😭😉"

🤣🤣

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
17 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

I can't see how arrogance can ever be attractive no matter how they carry it. Perhaps a bit entertaining or something in certan situations but that's all imo.

What about someone like the footballer Ronaldo? He is pretty arrogant yet clearly very attractive to many.

I don't think he's arrogant. I think he works really hard to hone his skill and knows that he's very good at what he does. To me that's confidence in his ability as a footballer.

But doesn't our difference of opinion show that what we see as confidence or arrogance is often a subjective fine line, and that the two qualities are not so distinct?

To me, no.

This is not directed at you but a general observation. I think people often label confident people as arrogant if they don't particularly like them "

Pretty much this and what Prey has said below. I'll extend that nationally as well. Being English and working up in Scotland and having a broad spread of mates and friends from across the UK and Ireland everyone wants to beat the English and I get absolutely ripped for it.

When I playfully ask 'why the English in particular?' it's always the same answer. Arrogance. Why?

I have also been called arrogant by someone on here that I don't think I have ever met, but she believes we have at a local social.

I can only imagine this was at distance and would put this down to confidence in the company of others.

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

I'm not very confident in myself at all. And less so recently. I probably come across way more confident on here than I actually am.

As to why.. that'll be my inner voice constantly comparing me against others and over analysing the things people say and do, or dont say and don't do.

Arrogance can be carried well with some. It's entitled people that think they deserve more than others or deserve to be treated better than others that grind my gears.

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

"I'm not very confident in myself at all. And less so recently. I probably come across way more confident on here than I actually am.

As to why.. that'll be my inner voice constantly comparing me against others and over analysing the things people say and do, or dont say and don't do.

Arrogance can be carried well with some. It's entitled people that think they deserve more than others or deserve to be treated better than others that grind my gears.

I'd be confident in u😬

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

"I feel I must now stop mentioning that I was officially voted Funniest Forumite 2025 as I will be labelled arrogant. Sad times indeed.😭😉"

I'm still not over it

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By *ora the explorerWoman
17 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

I’ve always thought Harvey from suits is an example of this. Arrogant as fuck but sexy as fuck.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
17 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

I’ve always thought Harvey from suits is an example of this. Arrogant as fuck but sexy as fuck. "

You've spelt Donald Trump wrong 😂

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By *ora the explorerWoman
17 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

I’ve always thought Harvey from suits is an example of this. Arrogant as fuck but sexy as fuck.

You've spelt Donald Trump wrong 😂"

Oh and him sexy as fuck

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
17 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

I’ve always thought Harvey from suits is an example of this. Arrogant as fuck but sexy as fuck.

You've spelt Donald Trump wrong 😂

Oh and him sexy as fuck

"
angry orange ball of sexfluff

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By *ora the explorerWoman
17 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

I’ve always thought Harvey from suits is an example of this. Arrogant as fuck but sexy as fuck.

You've spelt Donald Trump wrong 😂

Oh and him sexy as fuck

angry orange ball of sexfluff"

🤣

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By *ansoffateMan
17 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

"Where does confidence become arrogance?

When one has a sense of superiority that needs constant validation, to the point they cannot accept error or criticism.

Are you confident in yourself, in your looks, your personality and in life in general?

I am self-accepting. I don't really feel confidence is meaningful in this context as it's too subjective.

If not why not, and has anyone ever accused you of being arrogant?

The only times I can think of is when someone has become frustrated that I don't agree with them. I've learnt it's not a good time to point out the irony to them.

No judgment of others please 🙏

Sure, doesn't need saying really.

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By *enegadeMMan
17 weeks ago

Witney

Is arrogance the use of confidence as a weapon? (A question to answer the question sorry ha)

I would say I am confident in my position of the ‘pecking order’ and so awareness of that helps.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
17 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Arrogance is where someone has gone beyond confidence in their attributes

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By *antasticMrFucks07Man
17 weeks ago

plymouth

"Where does confidence become arrogance?

Are you confident in yourself, in your looks, your personality and in life in general?

If not why not, and has anyone ever accused you of being arrogant?

No judgment of others please 🙏 "

I wouldn’t say I’m confident; I’d say I’m acceptant of who I am and what I have. I think everyone, no matter how they appear to others, has hang-ups about their image in some way.

Confidence becomes arrogance when it shifts from self-assurance to superiority—when someone stops just being comfortable in themselves and starts believing they’re better than others because of it.

As for me, I’m comfortable in my own skin and with my personality, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have insecurities. Life throws challenges at everyone, and I think true confidence comes from accepting both strengths and flaws without letting either define you too much.

I’ve never been outright accused of arrogance, but I think sometimes people mistake self-acceptance for it. There’s a fine line, and perception plays a big role in how it’s received.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
17 weeks ago

Leeds

I'm not at all confident, that's plummeted over the past few years, people say confidence is sexy but not always, there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance, I'm not close to either 😂

Mrs

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
17 weeks ago

little house on the praire

I really dislike arrogance. It's a massive turn off.

On fab the guys I've been attracted to have been the quietly confident guys, who are self assured and have respect for them selves

I was always confident of my abilities on here, never felt the need to boast or brag, compete or compare

I'm a realist I'm never going to be the biggest and best, best looking or best body but I was happy with my lot

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