FabSwingers.com forum: Sex or love

By *ature4u1 OP Man
18 weeks ago

Hinckley

So my question is..

Is it more important to love someone without a satisfactory sex life or is sex really that important to you. Would you leave him/her for a happier sex life?

The reason I ask is that I recently went out for a drink with a female and we debated this subject after she bought it up. It got me thinking of what's more important in life. I guess this is mainly directed at the more mature guests on this site

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
18 weeks ago

little house on the praire

If your in an open relationship and the sex isn't that good you can just go and get it eksewhere

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By *ansoffateMan
18 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Without a moment's hesitation, love is more important to me than sex.

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By *inkyLips2.0Woman
18 weeks ago

Debauchery

I’m done with the whole love thing so sex is good enough for me

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

Both would be ideal but I'm happy with good sex.

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By *effdelightMan
18 weeks ago

Grimsby

Both

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By *lix CoxMan
18 weeks ago

CF39

I had a partner who died suddenly after 21 yrs I loved Him so much I said If you want sex with someone else I will still love you.

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By *inkyLips2.0Woman
18 weeks ago

Debauchery

"I had a partner who died suddenly after 21 yrs I loved Him so much I said If you want sex with someone else I will still love you."

My heart 💔 Sorry for your loss

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By *lix CoxMan
18 weeks ago

CF39

Soulmates we never went with anyone else.

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By *lix CoxMan
18 weeks ago

CF39

"I had a partner who died suddenly after 21 yrs I loved Him so much I said If you want sex with someone else I will still love you.

My heart 💔 Sorry for your loss "

Thank you you very much xxx

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By *ature4u1 OP Man
18 weeks ago

Hinckley

If I'm honest I'm not sure I know the answer to this question as sex is really important to me.

She was talking from the perspective of someone who had obviously enjoyed, and still did enjoy a good sex life.

She said as you age, love is more important than sex.

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By *ature4u1 OP Man
18 weeks ago

Hinckley

"I had a partner who died suddenly after 21 yrs I loved Him so much I said If you want sex with someone else I will still love you."

Sorry for your loss.

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By *lix CoxMan
18 weeks ago

CF39

I have dreams wher I keep seeing him and chasing is this odd?

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By *oeofsussexMan
18 weeks ago

Eastbourne

Well, both are essential really! But sadly they don’t necessarily come as a package! You can have great sex without love and great love with no sex! The winner gets and gives them both!

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By *ature4u1 OP Man
18 weeks ago

Hinckley

"I have dreams wher I keep seeing him and chasing is this odd?"

No. It's not odd. You're still grieving.

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By *ete hMan
18 weeks ago

Penzance

"Well, both are essential really! But sadly they don’t necessarily come as a package! You can have great sex without love and great love with no sex! The winner gets and gives them both! "

I think this is the correct answer tbh

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By *lix CoxMan
18 weeks ago

CF39

Your all so helpful Even ater explaining my sexual preferences. Love all around

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By *arakiss12TV/TS
18 weeks ago

Bedfuck

I've seen too many break ups to realise love isn't cracked up to what it should be. Live can't be trusted.

Sex is not just tangible there are emotions involved, passion and lust. Sex is more reliable than love.

Love will break a person's heart, sex will make it pump. Which is the more healthy?

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By *ilva69Man
18 weeks ago

stockport

"I’m done with the whole love thing so sex is good enough for me"

Here here

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By *lix CoxMan
18 weeks ago

CF39

Keep your heart open I spose

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By *ature4u1 OP Man
18 weeks ago

Hinckley

"I've seen too many break ups to realise love isn't cracked up to what it should be. Live can't be trusted.

Sex is not just tangible there are emotions involved, passion and lust. Sex is more reliable than love.

Love will break a person's heart, sex will make it pump. Which is the more healthy?"

Interesting view point. I can't disagree with that.

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By *aybeLadyWoman
18 weeks ago

West Dublin

Gosh that is a tough Q.

After going long times with no sex, its not all its cracked up to be. I actually didnt miss it very much. I would have much rathered love & support.

But I've never been mad head over heels in love & sex is important, a basic human need.

I've gone without both love & sex for an awfully long time so tbh, neither hold much importance in my life right now.

Would I like to have both? Sure but not at polar ends of the scale. Bring them both in a bit from the extremes.

For me, health is your wealth & thats all that matters right now ❤️

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By *bitofaslutWoman
18 weeks ago

Cannock

Done the "dead bedroom" thing. Wouldn't recommend it.

At my age a healthy sex life is about the only thing I could say was healthy about my life but I'm working to improve that.

It's important to me to be sexually active with a partner. I don't think I would leave them over it, but it's an issue I would be eager to talk through and figure out.

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

It's definitely love making when me and rei meet each other and just sex when and if we meet others we are wifes for life

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

Think it keeps alternating…. Sex at first then you fall in love but then if you get too complacent, you loose the passion …. So both I guess but love tops it for me , another important factor is loving yourself and giving 100% , only something recently I’ve done , Fx

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By *avid 50Man
18 weeks ago

kendal

For many years our marriage love was everything, I knew how she was feeling and knew what she wanted and I knew how to please and satisfy her life was blissful, then a long comes the menopause the love is still there and so are thefeelings but the closeness and the thrill of sex has gone such a shame

But meeting people on here has given me back some life but it's not like it was more like a really good workout at the gym , you put the effort in , you feel may feel exhausted , on a high , euphoric afterwards and it may be so good you feel a lasting effect but it's not the same as it was with somebody you deeply love

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By *riar BelisseWoman
18 weeks ago

Holibobs

Its not about the sex for me, intimacy is my deal breaker. I am very tactile and being denied being able to touch, hold, snuggle and kiss my loved one, is unnatural to me and I would leave as we are incompatible. At least that way we both, have a chance at finding someone compatible to grow old with

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

I had a sexless marriage, and honestly, it wasn’t the lack of sex itself that did the damage, it was everything that came with it. The absence of physical intimacy; no cuddles, no casual touch, no affection. That kind of closeness just faded away.

What made it worse was that we never really talked about it properly. No open dialogue about needs or why things weren’t working between us. I was too scared to address it as I thought it woukd mean the wnd of the marriage. I even told my ex-husband he had my blessing to seek sex elsewhere if he needed it, but he refused. Maybe it could’ve worked if we’d both been able to be genuinely open about why our sex life had broken down, but the rift was just too big to breach by that point, and we split up anyway.

He’s now remarried to someone far better suited to him, and I’m genuinely glad he found that. But the experience taught me that when sex disappears from a relationship, it’s rarely just about sex. It’s the loss of intimacy, connection, and honest communication that ends up doing the most damage.

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By *ouble-SidedCouple
18 weeks ago

Voldsøy

That is a tough question. I've never been without sex since I started having it. I'd always had FWB's, and a 4 year relationship before Mr. But, I feel love is more important.

I like the intimacy of sex and all that comes with it when you're in love, or have loving feelings. I've never had a ONS, I can't see it doing anything for me.

I LOVE love, and I love sex... but, the sex has to have a little more to it than just sex 🤷‍♀️

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By *a LunaWoman
18 weeks ago

o o OO o o

Sex is important within a relationship. Without it I would personally start to feel resentful, even with all the best intentions in the world because I know my mind would beat me up over it.

If I’m in a romantic relationship I like lots of sex. It’s that simple for me.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
18 weeks ago

Leeds

There’s no generic answer. Because every relationship/marriage in this situation would probably have a different outcome the majority of the time, it’s all personal preference of both parties involved, how open minded are they.

I love my wife very much, I’d rather just tell her to go elsewhere if I couldn’t preform anymore, if she felt she needed extra, I rather know and have ground rules than be cheated on and finding out the soul destroying way.

The mr

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By *ackformore100Man
18 weeks ago

Tin town

"So my question is..

Is it more important to love someone without a satisfactory sex life or is sex really that important to you. Would you leave him/her for a happier sex life?

It's not an easy or straight forward one. Whilst the desire for sex can be a very powerful feeling (is it an emotion?)... Love love love above all things for me.

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By *phrodisiac2000Man
18 weeks ago

saddleworth NW

"So my question is..

Is it more important to love someone without a satisfactory sex life or is sex really that important to you. Would you leave him/her for a happier sex life?

It's not an easy or straight forward one. Whilst the desire for sex can be a very powerful feeling (is it an emotion?)... Love love love above all things for me. "

Sex is sex love is deeper

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

Sex.

Love for the most part isn't even love, it's lust, infatuation, settling.

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By *eoBloomsMan
18 weeks ago

Springfield

❤️

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
18 weeks ago

East Sussex

Personally I think love is more important.

However I see a great many people who say they love their partner but the lack of sex is really making them unhappy. I think it's lack of intimate touch that causes the unhappiness otherwise masturbation would be the answer

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By *eoBloomsMan
18 weeks ago

Springfield

"I had a sexless marriage, and honestly, it wasn’t the lack of sex itself that did the damage, it was everything that came with it. The absence of physical intimacy; no cuddles, no casual touch, no affection. That kind of closeness just faded away.

This is very well put ^

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By *adbod2godbodMan
18 weeks ago

Manchester

I think that in a truly good relationship, you should have both

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By *estructionDollyWoman
18 weeks ago

The Deep Dark Woods

At this moment I am prioritising sex over love.

It would be nice to have both but I would rather be single and have great sex with friends than be in love with someone I have unfulfilling sex with, where I become resentful knowing I could have better sex with someone I'm more compatible with.

I think sexual compatibility is important to me which is why I find dating very hard as I seem to be too much in that department for many people. I am much more sexually compatible with people I meet on here but nobody wants a relationship or is local enough to pursue one.

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
18 weeks ago

Reading

I think Nell said it perfectly above.

My marriage was sexless for quite some time and it was really damaging in lots of ways. I'm currently making sex more important. But I think in the future if there is love that sex (or at least intimacy) would need to be part of the equation.

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJCouple
18 weeks ago

wonderland.

There is so much more to a good relationship than sex... however if I got no physical contact at all.. that would not work for me... by that I mean no cuddles or touching at all. If for whatever reason I couldn't physically have sex.. I would not prevent Mr seeking it elsewhere but I'd want to be involved or not know at all... no in-between.

So loving each other as long as there was still intimacy would be my choice x

Cali

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By *eliWoman
18 weeks ago

I've never had to choose. Never actively looked for either. Both are important to me and I'm quite open about that.

Intimacy is very important to me - a few posters have touched on that, rather than lack of actual penetration being the main thing people miss. And I think that's true. When sex stops and then intimacy? That's when dissatisfaction creeps in. That unhappiness. Not having sex can happen but it's why it does and how it's handled that's important.

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By *sWyldWoman
18 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I want both . I'm greedy

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By *ornycougaWoman
18 weeks ago

WHEREVER I LAY MY HAT

Right now - sex. I might feel differently in 20 years time

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By *ustcallMan
18 weeks ago

Glasgow

[Removed by poster at 25/03/25 12:11:35]

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By *BWLOVER1965Man
18 weeks ago

Ipswich

Both to be fair

Sixty on Friday

Can’t afford to be fussy get none as it is

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By *ustcallMan
18 weeks ago

Glasgow

Been there got the T-shirt never going back to that sort of life, it’s just a living hell

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By *acavityMan
18 weeks ago

Redditch

"So my question is..

Is it more important to love someone without a satisfactory sex life or is sex really that important to you. Would you leave him/her for a happier sex life?

I've been in a relationship that was average at sex, and later became celibate. But sex wasn't the driving force. Even now, ten years after splitting up, we're still friends.

Love and happiness are more important than sex. (I'm a single male, with internet access, I can survive)

But if be hesitant about starting a new relationship now, with someone who doesn't have the same level of interest in sex.

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