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Why are families so complicated?

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By *ools and the brain OP   Couple
19 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

Envious of people who have families that seem to have little drama and get along fine.

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By *luebell888Woman
19 weeks ago

Glasgowish

I think most families have drama of some kind. What appears good on the outside isn't necessary the same on the inside.

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By *outhDublinMan86Man
19 weeks ago

shankill

There’s always drama. They’re just better at hiding it

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By *riar BelisseWoman
19 weeks ago

Holibobs

I sometimes wistfully watch stable families, with wonderings of what life would be like if I were born into one.

Which makes me more determined to make the best of what I've got

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By *ewildered01Man
19 weeks ago

Elburton

I think Bluebell has nailed it.

I often watch families out and about and look on with slight envy.

I’ve been a single dad for over 10 years now

Brought my 3 boys up pretty much my my self there all in there late teens now

There all good lads with morals etc

But when they were younger omg they were feral

And I wished to have that calm and peaceful family life.

But I soon realised that behind all of there what seemed calm they were just like me.

My parents were never around really and when they were all they did was fight

And I hated them for it

I didn’t want to be like them

I ended up having counselling a few years ago

To address my parents etc

And she gave me fantastic advice

And told me to put them a box (metaphorically)and only visit it when I needed too

I’m now at peace with it all

But yeah families can drive you crazy with all there drama

It’s how you deal with it that matters

X

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By *urves and MischiefWoman
19 weeks ago

North West

Yes ☝🏻☝🏻

I’ve had my fair share of family dramas which affected me massively growing up. I too have looked on wistfully, even wishing friends parents were mine at times because of the stability and what seemed idyllic environment they seemed to have. As I’ve got older I’ve seen the cracks in their environment that made me realise they too have their dramas; different to mine but dramas nonetheless. It’s so easy to compare to others when they seem to be all roses but guaranteed underneath, they are not.

I found that removing myself from family dramas for my own self preservation served me well.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
19 weeks ago

Leeds

Don’t involve yourself then, just because they’re family doesn’t mean shit, my family are not my kind of people, ( if I’m 100% honest I’m convinced they found me in a bin ) I don’t talk to my brother unless we’re in the same room together, my mum is on the understanding that we only talk when necessary ( she talks to the Mrs more than me ), my parents are the only ones who receive birthday/christmas cards/ gifts and that’s only out of respect.

No family drama for me because they all understand I don’t care.

The mr

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By *rookedsmileMan
19 weeks ago

Derbyshire

As an adult, you have a choice in who you see and when, families do not have exclusivity just because they are 'family' its more about behaviour, integrity, respect, boundaries. If someones behaviour towards you isn't healthy then it's a decision you may make in terms of how much contact you have. Appreciate its not easy, guilt, judgement etc. But putting yourself first is self care.

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By *pa-LoverMan
19 weeks ago

Coventry

John Cleese and Robin Skinner: 'Families and how to survive them'...might be worth a read.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
19 weeks ago

East Sussex

I'm right in thinking that a family member has recently passed away, aren't I? A death in the family almost always cause drama, it brings out the worst in some people and is awful to watch.

Hope it calms down op

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
19 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

Don’t know what family complications you are currently experiencing OP, my own policy is that they are as complicated as you allow them to be.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
19 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).

A myriad of reasons.

But today OP, I feel your pain / frustration.

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By *avie65Man
19 weeks ago

In the west.

Every family has its dramas it’s just some are better are hiding or disguising it.

I have know a few people over the years who I thought had the perfect family life only to see the shite hit the fan in ways I thought only happen on TV or in films.

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By *ggdrasil66Man
19 weeks ago

Saltdean

I have five kids, all grown up now, and two baby grandchildren. Love them all to bits

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

I'm estranged from my entire family. Mother passed away in 2020 but never had a good relationship with that side to begin with. Haven't seen my half-sister in 11 years, my half-brother in about 8 years unless you count the time 2 years later where we walked passed each other in Cardiff like we were complete strangers.

Cut my father out of my life in 2023 and as a result stepped away from my aunt and uncle, my cousin, and my grandfather and his partner.

I feel far better than I ever have no longer trying to live up to their rules of life and expectations.

My family are the people I choose to have in my life who build very close bonds with.

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By *lynJMan
19 weeks ago

Morden


"I'm estranged from my entire family. Mother passed away in 2020 but never had a good relationship with that side to begin with. Haven't seen my half-sister in 11 years, my half-brother in about 8 years unless you count the time 2 years later where we walked passed each other in Cardiff like we were complete strangers.

Cut my father out of my life in 2023 and as a result stepped away from my aunt and uncle, my cousin, and my grandfather and his partner.

I feel far better than I ever have no longer trying to live up to their rules of life and expectations.

My family are the people I choose to have in my life who build very close bonds with."

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By *lynJMan
19 weeks ago

Morden

I don't have dramas with my family. I just don't have anything to do with them. Estranged from them about 15 years ago. I think my dad died in 2019 but no one has told me. Found the record of his death on the government website.

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By *obilebottomMan
19 weeks ago

All over

Very close to mine and are my rock rather than causing me drama

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By *hil most chillMan
19 weeks ago

London, South East & Europe

I'm lucky to have a relatively normal family. Except for my stepmother and stepsister. They keep getting stuck in things. First it was the sofa, then the washing machine... and it only ever seems to happen when I'm the only other person in the house. Bizarre!

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By *eekyTattsCoupleCouple
19 weeks ago

Tyne and Wear

You can't pick your family. Sometimes there's drama but it's insignificant when I've spoken to others that have a broken relationship with their family, I then realise I'm lucky to have my family.

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By *eoBloomsMan
19 weeks ago

Springfield


"Very close to mine and are my rock rather than causing me drama "

Me too MB. People who are surrounded by drama are often oblivious to their part in it.

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By *tr8MrEMan
19 weeks ago

somewhere near Sheffield

As the saying goes "you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family"

Personally from experience both can be equally challenging in different ways

Hence I'm happy being a black sheep billy no mate's

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By *entfootloverMan
19 weeks ago

Sevenoaks

The best ones hide it better.

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By *ad NannaWoman
19 weeks ago

East London

I don't have drama with my siblings or my children.

My son can be hard work at times, but it's nothing dramatic.

My grandchildren have their dramas and sometimes come to me for help. I help them-drama over.

I can't abide overly dramatic people. You have a problem, you deal with it.

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By *ad NannaWoman
19 weeks ago

East London

Some people make things dramatic, when it's just part of life.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
19 weeks ago

little house on the praire

My dad was the drama, he was the only toxic person I had in my life. Since he died its been lovely and peaceful

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

Don’t have any family now

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