FabSwingers.com forum: Does fab ruin men

By *urvescurves OP Man
19 weeks ago

leeds

Does the air of desperation on this site actually make men more unnatractive.

I myself as I'm sure many, many more men have no trouble whatsoever attracting the opposite sex when out in the wild but let's be honest the rules change online and I see a lot of men singing for their supper.

Is this actually a problem and in turn it emasculates many men or makes they seem creepy.

If women were filling my inbox with flap-snaps, or telling me how beautiful and hunky I was I think I'd be very disappointed and presume it was all guff.

So...is this site fundamentally flawed or do men need to value themselves more?

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By *ildTimes.Man
19 weeks ago

Wherever I May Roam

"Does the air of desperation on this site actually make men more unnatractive.

Is this actually a problem and in turn it emasculates many men or makes they seem creepy.

If women were filling my inbox with flap-snaps, or telling me how beautiful and hunky I was I think I'd be very disappointed and presume it was all guff.

So...is this site fundamentally flawed or do men need to value themselves more?"

So it's all guff!!....damn....that's fab ruined for me...thanks a lot!! 🥪

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By *naswingdressWoman
19 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

I don't think it ruins men. I think people adapt to the circumstances they're in, and some men think manipulation is the way to get what they want when things get more difficult.

(That being said, women weren't born yesterday. We are aware people lie 😅)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
19 weeks ago

little house on the praire

Men need to have respect for themselves as many do but there are some that reek of desperation

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By *sWyldWoman
19 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I think there's definitely something in this .

When a woman sets up her profile here ,without any images at all and barely any words, she will receive an influx of messages almost instantly. Many telling her she's hot or sexy ...how do they know this ? Are they really that desperate? Are questions that often spring to mind .

However on the flipside, where some men might seem creepy, desperate or willing to shag anything with a pulse, those who don't, can and do stand out

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By *eathrow pineappleCouple
19 weeks ago

Hounslow

"Men need to have respect for themselves as many do but there are some that reek of desperation"
totally agree

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By *ellhungvweMan
19 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I don’t get why people (male or female) do the desperation thing. Have some self respect.

If things aren’t working out on here and you do better elsewhere then I don’t understand why people do go elsewhere. Maybe it is that the grass isn’t actually greener elsewhere?

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By *herrybakewellCouple
19 weeks ago

Staffordshire

No it doesn't.

Testosterone takes over our brain at times though.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
19 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Leeds/London

"I don’t get why people (male or female) do the desperation thing. Have some self respect.

If things aren’t working out on here and you do better elsewhere then I don’t understand why people do go elsewhere. Maybe it is that the grass isn’t actually greener elsewhere?"

I think it’s a weird kind of FOMO.

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By *edSirenWoman
19 weeks ago

magic mountain

I’m actually find most men, and women, on here much more respectful, funny, sexy and just generally better eggs, than I did on dating sites.

Yes there’s the creeps, but statistically I’d say it’s a lower percentage than dating normally. Maybe because on here there’s little to no pretences on what you’re both looking for. I would say though, those that are creeps are typically wayyyyyy more out there with it on here 😂

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

I’ve always been accused of being aloof never desperate

I honestly wouldn’t know if someone was flirting with me

And I won’t let anything let alone a website ruin me

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

No, they ruined themselves before they came to the site. And probably society in general is at fault. Fab just exacerbates the issue further. A lot of single guys here are just fully grown adolescents. I feel obligated to call these boys out when I see them acting up and educating them to be better people as a whole to help rescue my gender from further embarrassment. After all the actions of some spoil it for the rest of us.

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By *ellhungvweMan
19 weeks ago

Cheltenham

"I don’t get why people (male or female) do the desperation thing. Have some self respect.

If things aren’t working out on here and you do better elsewhere then I don’t understand why people do go elsewhere. Maybe it is that the grass isn’t actually greener elsewhere?

I think it’s a weird kind of FOMO. "

It’s messed up that’s what it is.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
19 weeks ago

little house on the praire

"No, they ruined themselves before they came to the site. And probably society in general is at fault. Fab just exacerbates the issue further. A lot of single guys here are just fully grown adolescents. I feel obligated to call these boys out when I see them acting up and educating them to be better people as a whole to help rescue my gender from further embarrassment. After all the actions of some spoil it for the rest of us."
I don't think they spoil it for the rest of you. The decent guys Stanstead out

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
19 weeks ago

near Putney Heath

"Does the air of desperation on this site actually make men more unnatractive.

Is this actually a problem and in turn it emasculates many men or makes they seem creepy.

If women were filling my inbox with flap-snaps, or telling me how beautiful and hunky I was I think I'd be very disappointed and presume it was all guff.

So...is this site fundamentally flawed or do men need to value themselves more?"

I spend more time off this site than on it so what goes through the men's heads no idea.

Desperation online to me is the same as desperation in person...and there is a lot of desperation in person..that men routinely forget that consent is a thing in some of the less exclusive clubs and events.

It's like no one taught them how to ask for permission and how to talk to women.

Either way, it's kind of a man problem for men to solve. As a woman, I don't go around thinking about emasculation or feminine or masculine in my daily life.

My paramours do find it funny when I make all the men ask for permission when they cross boundaries.

I dunno maybe it's the autism....I don't think much about how I'm perceived as a woman either.

I'm more "a does this feel good or does this feel bad/uncomfortable" type of person and react/adjust accordingly.

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By *ealitybitesMan
19 weeks ago

Belfast

I can only speak for myself and I don't recognise any of that.

I accept there are men who are desperate and there are men who are disillusioned and that in turn can lead to misogyny but that has never been my experience.

It's just a website that I use as a tool to chat to and meet people.

I have always retained my self respect and found that others respect me much more for doing so.

I choose to be choosey and the only time that has ever caused issue is when I haven't chosen someone who isn't used to not being chosen.

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

"I think there's definitely something in this .

However on the flipside, where some men might seem creepy, desperate or willing to shag anything with a pulse, those who don't, can and do stand out "

That's a deeply considered and sensible answer.... FAF?

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By *viatrixWoman
19 weeks ago

Redhill

What I have always wondered is- those men who say they never struggle to pull/get laid “in real life”, why do they punish themselves by being on Fab then? 😂😂😂😂

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
19 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Leeds/London

"What I have always wondered is- those men who say they never struggle to pull/get laid “in real life”, why do they punish themselves by being on Fab then? 😂😂😂😂"

They probably do struggle to pull/get laid ‘in real life’ and resent instashag not working as expected

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By *parkle1974Woman
19 weeks ago

Leeds

No.....some men ruin fab!

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By *ellhungvweMan
19 weeks ago

Cheltenham

"What I have always wondered is- those men who say they never struggle to pull/get laid “in real life”, why do they punish themselves by being on Fab then? 😂😂😂😂

They probably do struggle to pull/get laid ‘in real life’ and resent instashag not working as expected "

Agree with both of you.

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By *naswingdressWoman
19 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"What I have always wondered is- those men who say they never struggle to pull/get laid “in real life”, why do they punish themselves by being on Fab then? 😂😂😂😂"

They're as truthful as the guys who tell the blank profile she's a supermodel and he's in love 🤣

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
19 weeks ago

little house on the praire

It's like the guys who pay womens membership then come bleating on the forums because they haven't got the attention from them that they wanted

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

"No, they ruined themselves before they came to the site. And probably society in general is at fault. Fab just exacerbates the issue further. A lot of single guys here are just fully grown adolescents. I feel obligated to call these boys out when I see them acting up and educating them to be better people as a whole to help rescue my gender from further embarrassment. After all the actions of some spoil it for the rest of us.I don't think they spoil it for the rest of you. The decent guys Stanstead out"

I mean if more men were more reserved, had standards and were more selective with who they made contact with my messages wouldn't get lost in the flood and I really do not want to double message out of respect as I can never know if they've seen my message in their inbox and they're saving it for later when they have time.

But another issue is not having verifications. It's important for a lot of women. For guys like me who delete accounts when we enter relationships, losing verifications puts us back to square one. And not everyone wants to go to clubs/events just to get a green tick.. and nobody ever wanted to verify me in webcam but that's still not a good indicator of "this guy is safe and not an asshole".

I mean women wouldn't need to have so many rules and barriers to entry if there wasn't a history of single guys being total assholes and not showing a shred of respect to other people.

Like one gay guy came into my inbox telling me I should go full sissy and dress up for him.. not even a hello or anything, just straight into giving me orders 🤦‍♂️ and it says I'm not looking to meet men...

I'm gonna be blunt about this. I find a lot of that behaviour from single guys embarrassing and shameful when they start getting jaded and bitter, and taking out their frustration on other people.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
19 weeks ago

Holibobs

Many join with unrealistic expectations from the start. When they begin realising that it's not 'dial a fuck' the entitled rants begin...thank heavens for the fab filters

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By *arriedminxCouple
19 weeks ago

here

As returning fab singles- now married and a couple we discuss the interactions quite a lot. As a single woman Minx would be inundated with messages few of them even worth opening. As a single guy I got a couple of replies to polite considered messages. I always looked at it in terms of would you approach a stranger in real life that way? We all know the answer. As a couple I an unused to the attention from single guys - more so those who completely disregard my existence and try their luck with some sort of crude entitlement. Do they ruin it? No. We use it as reply sport!

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

"As returning fab singles- now married and a couple we discuss the interactions quite a lot. As a single woman Minx would be inundated with messages few of them even worth opening. As a single guy I got a couple of replies to polite considered messages. I always looked at it in terms of would you approach a stranger in real life that way? We all know the answer. As a couple I an unused to the attention from single guys - more so those who completely disregard my existence and try their luck with some sort of crude entitlement. Do they ruin it? No. We use it as reply sport!"

Wow your pics are amazing lol

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By *host63Man
19 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

I don't expect anything so no

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