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Unsolicited touching in clubs/parties.What is and isn't acceptable?

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By *affaandtaffy OP   Couple
20 weeks ago

Barry

Hi all.

We are looking for open candid views on the above to better understand where we 'fit' in the Swinging world. And whether clubs/events are for us.

In our experience there's a very wide spectrum of views( and behaviour)

So, at what point is touching inappropriate or even sexual assault?

We are predominantly taking here about people who have never met or who have given no signal that they are remotely interested in the other party.

Is it a hug?

Is it hand/arm/feet touching?

Running a hand through someones hair?

Or is it only the touching of more intimate parts?

Does it matter if the persons concerned are 'just naturally tactile'?

We have experienced all of this.

We realise this could provoke some emotive responses but feel this thread could add to the guidance for both established fabbers and newbies.

Opinions invited

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
20 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

For me, pretty much any unexpected physical contact from a stranger is skin crawling and unpleasant. But some happens in circumstances and that's okay.

Tapping my shoulder to get my attention because you'd like to get past, okay.

Putting your hand on my waist or small of my back on the way past, no.

Unsolicited outright fondling, get to fuck 💜

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By *herrybakewellCouple
20 weeks ago

Staffordshire

In a club there should be absolutely no physical contact without consent in our eyes.

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By *ot so needyMan
20 weeks ago

Galway

This happens to men too.

I have been to a few socials where some women there thought it was ok to grope me as I passed them.

If it was the other way around I would get kicked out on the spot.

Been to 5 socials and this has happened at 3 of them and more than once too.

When I said it I was told any of the other men would have loved it.

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By *eroLondonMan
20 weeks ago

Covent Garden


"This happens to men too.

I have been to a few socials where some women there thought it was ok to grope me as I passed them.

If it was the other way around I would get kicked out on the spot.

Been to 5 socials and this has happened at 3 of them and more than once too.

When I said it I was told any of the other men would have loved it."

·

This makes for rather uncomfortable reading. 🫤

🩶

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By *electableicecreamMan
20 weeks ago

The West

I wouldn't welcome any uninvited touching beyond social norms like a tap on the shoulder or whatever.

I have distinct hair. People reach out to touch it all time. Most people ask but at swingers events it's way more likely that people will take liberties. I'm used to it. I deal with it politely but I am firm. You need to ask...

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By *exyScientistsCouple
20 weeks ago

Castlebar

We were in a playroom at a club and getting busy. A guy came in and put his hand on my leg while I had my eyes closed... and I just said no. I knew people were watching but in hindsight we'd have used the playrooms with the viewing windows where they couldn't join in. Rookie mistake

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By *he Silver FuxMan
20 weeks ago

Uttoxeter


"Hi all.

We are looking for open candid views on the above to better understand where we 'fit' in the Swinging world. And whether clubs/events are for us.

In our experience there's a very wide spectrum of views( and behaviour)

So, at what point is touching inappropriate or even sexual assault?

We are predominantly taking here about people who have never met or who have given no signal that they are remotely interested in the other party.

Is it a hug?

Is it hand/arm/feet touching?

Running a hand through someones hair?

Or is it only the touching of more intimate parts?

Does it matter if the persons concerned are 'just naturally tactile'?

We have experienced all of this.

We realise this could provoke some emotive responses but feel this thread could add to the guidance for both established fabbers and newbies.

Opinions invited"

It’s a really difficult issue - there’s no right answer that fits all scenarios.

Some fantastic play has initiated just from a stroke of a thigh, a wandering hand, just a fingertip stretched out on a playroom bed…

There also rooms in clubs where it should be not unexpected when someone touches… a dark room, orgy room, cinema… The most important thing is that a ‘no thank you’ has an immediate effect

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By *iFruityCoupleCouple
20 weeks ago

Watermouth

I would would to be asked, when we meet at a club banana asked, do you kiss? We were on a bed 1 min later.

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By *iFruityCoupleCouple
20 weeks ago

Watermouth

In a dark room, just touch, what else can you do? But respect the word NO!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
20 weeks ago

little house on the praire

No touching is exeptable but it always seems to be the guys that get the blame. Seen many pissed up women groping guys and getting upset when they are told no.

I've had my fair share share of wanted touches from guys just have to tell them a firm no

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By *oveToPlay.Couple
20 weeks ago

Yorkshire


"Hi all.

We are looking for open candid views on the above to better understand where we 'fit' in the Swinging world. And whether clubs/events are for us.

In our experience there's a very wide spectrum of views( and behaviour)

So, at what point is touching inappropriate or even sexual assault?

We are predominantly taking here about people who have never met or who have given no signal that they are remotely interested in the other party.

Is it a hug?

Is it hand/arm/feet touching?

Running a hand through someones hair?

Or is it only the touching of more intimate parts?

Does it matter if the persons concerned are 'just naturally tactile'?

We have experienced all of this.

We realise this could provoke some emotive responses but feel this thread could add to the guidance for both established fabbers and newbies.

Opinions invited

It’s a really difficult issue - there’s no right answer that fits all scenarios.

Some fantastic play has initiated just from a stroke of a thigh, a wandering hand, just a fingertip stretched out on a playroom bed…

There also rooms in clubs where it should be not unexpected when someone touches… a dark room, orgy room, cinema… The most important thing is that a ‘no thank you’ has an immediate effect "

I was thinking of how to type what I felt and then you posted this

Couldn't agree more

S xxx

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By *rdere OpusCouple
20 weeks ago

Brum - ish


"This happens to men too.

I have been to a few socials where some women there thought it was ok to grope me as I passed them.

If it was the other way around I would get kicked out on the spot.

Been to 5 socials and this has happened at 3 of them and more than once too.

When I said it I was told any of the other men would have loved it."

As relatively long term single woman on the scene, I’ve had as many issues in the past with women assuming it’s ok to touch without consent as men.

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By *midnight-Woman
20 weeks ago

...

I would say any unwanted attention is not acceptable

I had a situation at a social where I kept stepping away from a lady who was running her hands up and down my body, including my boobs, bum and other intimate places....and then later her husband did the same.

I ended up enlisting poor Nero as my personal shield

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By *elloWoman
20 weeks ago

alpha centauri

At swinging clubs I've been to , on the initial walk through with staff I've been told that there is generally rules or just unwritten understandings but are enforced, such as in this area or on this sofa or whatever it maybe if you play people will reach out and touch, but then there will be an area very nearby which no-one can pass a line or rope or over type of visible barrier and definitely no touching, unless invited to do so. if you play on a room and leave the door open then it is a sign that you're inviting anyone who wants to join can, if a door to a room is obviously occupied and the door is closed you do not touch the door.

And touch to the arm or shoulder to get someone's attention is only acceptable when they are not playing with someone.

A hand on somewhere like the knee is generally ok once you've been interacting with someone for a while and there is an attraction, often it happens after you've sat closer together, your legs accidentally touching each others and it feels right to both of you.

You wouldn't go up to someone male or female in the street or pub or club , post office, anywhere , and start touching their body or their hair willy-nilly, so why would it be acceptable to do so at the swingers club or a social.

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By *eoBloomsMan
20 weeks ago

Springfield


"I would say any unwanted attention is not acceptable

I had a situation at a social where I kept stepping away from a lady who was running her hands up and down my body, including my boobs, bum and other intimate places....and then later her husband did the same.

I ended up enlisting poor Nero as my personal shield

"

Nero the hero ! 👏

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By *he Silver FuxMan
20 weeks ago

Uttoxeter


"I would say any unwanted attention is not acceptable

I had a situation at a social where I kept stepping away from a lady who was running her hands up and down my body, including my boobs, bum and other intimate places....and then later her husband did the same.

I ended up enlisting poor Nero as my personal shield

"

Nero would just watch you burn…

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
20 weeks ago

your head

No touching without consent.

I had a guy at a club think it was acceptable to touch my hair while talking to my partner, I jumped 6ft in the other direction. He still tried to do it again after being asked not to touch me. We were just standing outside having a chat but still, keep your hands to yourself unless invited.

Had hands wander to my legs when sitting next to someone or guys put them on my back etc, it's just weird.

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By *ealitybitesMan
20 weeks ago

Belfast


"This happens to men too.

I have been to a few socials where some women there thought it was ok to grope me as I passed them.

If it was the other way around I would get kicked out on the spot.

Been to 5 socials and this has happened at 3 of them and more than once too.

When I said it I was told any of the other men would have loved it."

I commented on another thread this week about this experience and an apparent reluctance to remove women from a social event when they do this whereas a man would be asked to leave immediately.

I have only been to one private party and there was nothing like this and rules were clearly explained.

At social events though where alcohol has been consumed it's all part of the fun where some are concerned.

I wonder how well it would go down if women were told they should be flattered that a man chose to grope them or told to lighten up a little?

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By *a LunaWoman
20 weeks ago

o o OO o o

I’ve been to Nightclubs and moved men out of the way by placing my hand on the small of their back and manoeuvring them to the side.

so that could be seen as groping?

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By *ealitybitesMan
20 weeks ago

Belfast


"I’ve been to Nightclubs and moved men out of the way by placing my hand on the small of their back and manoeuvring them to the side.

so that could be seen as groping?"

I've had my arse and genitals grabbed by women at socials who then laughed it off when I asked wtf?

I'm not a touchy feely person and the only time I would physically touch a stranger would be if we both consented to a hug or to shake hands.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
20 weeks ago

Holibobs

Its personal preference I guess. If I'm on a group bed with people I find attractive, then I'm happy for whomever to touch. In a club it's a zero tolerance policy for me, this is why I play in lockable rooms, not the cinema etc as lot's of strangers can't help but touch to see my reaction and that really kills the mood, having to tell people to stop

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By *ad NannaWoman
20 weeks ago

East London


"I would say any unwanted attention is not acceptable

I had a situation at a social where I kept stepping away from a lady who was running her hands up and down my body, including my boobs, bum and other intimate places....and then later her husband did the same.

I ended up enlisting poor Nero as my personal shield

"

Why didn't you tell her to stop?

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By *elloWoman
20 weeks ago

alpha centauri


"I’ve been to Nightclubs and moved men out of the way by placing my hand on the small of their back and manoeuvring them to the side.

so that could be seen as groping?"

The small of their back if I really couldn't get their attention to move I would touch them on their shoulder or high on their back between their shoulders, but any lower I wouldn't touch , sexual equality, they shouldnt touch me in a certain manner so I shouldn't touch them in that way

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

The rules that apply at a club should be the same rules that apply in everyday walks of life. You should NEVER put your hands on another without permission.

You wouldn’t do it in the supermarket, or on the street. So why would it be deemed acceptable at a club ?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
20 weeks ago

North West


"I would say any unwanted attention is not acceptable

I had a situation at a social where I kept stepping away from a lady who was running her hands up and down my body, including my boobs, bum and other intimate places....and then later her husband did the same.

I ended up enlisting poor Nero as my personal shield

"

Wtf?!

I've only had unwanted touching to my wheelchair (which pissed me off no end) but this is just something else

I'm so sorry you experienced that, Midnight

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Worst experience i had was on a couples bed. Out of my eyeline a woman joined the bed and thengrabbed hold of my nipple and started to twist it like she was trying to find radio Luxembourg.

I gave her my best WTAF face and she let go, retreating backwards off the bed.

Not a word was spoken.

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By *ustincamebridgeCouple
20 weeks ago

manchester

For us NO! Means NO!

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By *vonne5exMan
20 weeks ago

Doncaster

Being in a club or anywhere else doesn't give anyone the right to touch and they touch without an invite they deserve a slap.

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By *eroLondonMan
20 weeks ago

Covent Garden


"I would say any unwanted attention is not acceptable

I had a situation at a social where I kept stepping away from a lady who was running her hands up and down my body, including my boobs, bum and other intimate places....and then later her husband did the same.

I ended up enlisting poor Nero as my personal shield

·

Wtf?!

I've only had unwanted touching to my wheelchair (which pissed me off no end) but this is just something else

I'm so sorry you experienced that, Midnight "

KC², it really was one of those awkward and uncomfortable moments, witnessing it first hand from a man's perspective. I approached Míddèrs from behind to say _ello (we had already said _ello earlier) and she grabbed both my arms and wrapped them around her waist tightly, as a form of body language and rebuttal "please keep your distance!" sort of message. The other woman walked off but her husband remained, finished his groping, and then started to repeatedly ask Míddèrs where she was from and her •exact• location. Four times he was told the same generic location (i.e. none of your business!). He walked off as we both gave him a stern look. It was nauseating.

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Ok... So as a single guy who has been lucky enough to attend a few clubs as a single guy I have experienced so many examples of this.

My personal opinion and approach is quite simple. Beyond putting an arm around a woman's waist after chatting and sensing a mutual connection. Nothing and I mean nothing is acceptable...

Is there even another thought process?

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By *midnight-Woman
20 weeks ago

...


"I would say any unwanted attention is not acceptable

I had a situation at a social where I kept stepping away from a lady who was running her hands up and down my body, including my boobs, bum and other intimate places....and then later her husband did the same.

I ended up enlisting poor Nero as my personal shield

Nero the hero ! 👏"

He was amazing, I'll be eternally grateful ❤️

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By *sWyldWoman
20 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Sadly I've been in a club and had a horrible experience many years ago that really did put me off going back.

I was with a male friend and we were doing our own thing in a private area .

From no where a man took it upon himself to go behind me and try to put his fingers inside me while I was on my knees .

I've never pulled away or seen my friend move so fast. We then left and I felt horrific.

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By *midnight-Woman
20 weeks ago

...


"I would say any unwanted attention is not acceptable

I had a situation at a social where I kept stepping away from a lady who was running her hands up and down my body, including my boobs, bum and other intimate places....and then later her husband did the same.

I ended up enlisting poor Nero as my personal shield

Nero would just watch you burn…"

Nope he was simply the best ❤️❤️

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
20 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).


"The rules that apply at a club should be the same rules that apply in everyday walks of life. You should NEVER put your hands on another without permission.

You wouldn’t do it in the supermarket, or on the street. So why would it be deemed acceptable at a club ?"

I completely agree.

I hate being touched by people don't know. It's one of the main reasons I don't go to clubs.

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By *wingwithusltdCouple
20 weeks ago

Sutton

Very simply no means no - we say - and no offence guys , when approaching a couple -.speak to both, definately no touching other than a hand shake , same as when chatting / approaching a single lady. Even myself ( as a male in a couple ) had a man put his hand up my towel taking hold of my p nis, was quite an unwanted experience. We have just entered party hosting , reinforcing no means no , which will be enforced and supported by ASK Angela awareness to / for all

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Central

I think the only acceptable options are holding your hand out, to offer a handshake - they can accept or decline your offer. Other than this, is to discuss what - if any - touching is wanted, gaining their consent, before doing it.

When you know someone, you can ask them if they'd like a hug. Again, get consent first. If you're wanting to be tactile, get consent or keep your hands to yourself

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By *midnight-Woman
20 weeks ago

...


"I would say any unwanted attention is not acceptable

I had a situation at a social where I kept stepping away from a lady who was running her hands up and down my body, including my boobs, bum and other intimate places....and then later her husband did the same.

I ended up enlisting poor Nero as my personal shield

Why didn't you tell her to stop?"

Well it's a good question - i didn't understand what was happening at first. I'm actually quite shy and don't like conflict and I was kinda frozen in spot once I realized what was happening ... when I tried to move out of her reach she dragged me back. I did get away in the end.

Her husband came later and I asked him not to touch me and kept moving out of his reach. I literally had to thrust Nero at him and in panic I said Nero was my husband. The guy shook Nero's hand and congratulated him 😆😆 Poor Nero had no idea what was happening, but he was bloody brilliant.

I kinda felt that perhaps it was my fault for kissing my friends that I'd arrived with earlier. They were d*unk so perhaps I was fair game for them 😕

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By *midnight-Woman
20 weeks ago

...


"I would say any unwanted attention is not acceptable

I had a situation at a social where I kept stepping away from a lady who was running her hands up and down my body, including my boobs, bum and other intimate places....and then later her husband did the same.

I ended up enlisting poor Nero as my personal shield

Wtf?!

I've only had unwanted touching to my wheelchair (which pissed me off no end) but this is just something else

I'm so sorry you experienced that, Midnight "

Thanks ! It reinforced my view that I should avoid d*unk people!!

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By *elloWoman
20 weeks ago

alpha centauri


"

Why didn't you tell her to stop?

I kinda felt that perhaps it was my fault for kissing my friends that I'd arrived with earlier. They were d*unk so perhaps I was fair game for them 😕"

100% not your fault, please do not feel that anything you might have said or none prior is an excuse for their behaviour, they touched without asking and ignored your actions and words for them to stop.

I can't stand victim blaming attitudes that make people feel like it's their fault

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By *eoBloomsMan
20 weeks ago

Springfield


"

Why didn't you tell her to stop?

I kinda felt that perhaps it was my fault for kissing my friends that I'd arrived with earlier. They were d*unk so perhaps I was fair game for them 😕

100% not your fault, please do not feel that anything you might have said or none prior is an excuse for their behaviour, they touched without asking and ignored your actions and words for them to stop.

I can't stand victim blaming attitudes that make people feel like it's their fault"

They were d*unk arseholes, and are probably the same sober. I hope they are not invited to future Socials.🤬

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Not a club, but I had a horrible experience in a straight bar in a city centre last Saturday night.

I'll grant I do get a lot of attention when I'm out, but usually it's all extremely positive and respectful. People asking for selfies and if they can touch my boobs.

However, we'd got a group of d*unk 50 year old women who just kept grabbing me. It was incredibly naff and I really expected better from them.

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By *nnCeeWoman
20 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell


"I’ve been to Nightclubs and moved men out of the way by placing my hand on the small of their back and manoeuvring them to the side.

so that could be seen as groping?"

If ever I have been in a very crowded (and noisy) place (i.e. a nightclub) and I've been trying to getbthrough a crowd, I too have placed my hand on someone's back (both male and female), to try to gain enough room to manoeuvre through. This normally illicit the person to turn in my direction, which enables me to mouth "Sorry! Need to get through!" or similar.

In a swingers club, unless I'm trying to do the same thing, I don't believe I would touch anyone unless consent is requested first. I certainly wouldn't touch any intimate areas!

At one of my very first parties, however, I did upset someone by a touch. I misunderstood but I very much learnt from what happened.

No definitely means no, whether you're male, female, or anywhere in between. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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By *andadbodMan
20 weeks ago

Liverpool

one social even organised at a private house, the wife and myself attended, we were sat at a table with a small group and one of the guys thought it was funny when he grabbed my wife’s hand and put it on his crotch, she quickly retracted and made it known it was not okay to be that forceful, after that incident she stopped going to social events. I was quite angry about the situation and complained to the host, only to have it brushed off as harmless fun.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

20 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"For me, pretty much any unexpected physical contact from a stranger is skin crawling and unpleasant. But some happens in circumstances and that's okay.

Tapping my shoulder to get my attention because you'd like to get past, okay.

Putting your hand on my waist or small of my back on the way past, no.

Unsolicited outright fondling, get to fuck 💜"

100% this. ✅️✅️✅️✅️✅️✅️✅️✅️

No physical contact without express consent. Most of the time that will be verbal. On rare occasions there may be times when (as mentioned earlier above) you may be on a large open bed with others, and eye contact and a nod may suffice - but only if it's 110% obvious that they're giving the ok.

The fact people may be naked and indulging in sex doesn't give anyone, man or woman, the right to assume people are OK with being touched.

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By *ansoffateMan
20 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

If you touch someone without consent it's common assault and can be dealt with as such with the use of reasonable force. That's my opinion.

A tap on the shoulder to get my attention and a request to make way for them to pass, no problemo. I will probably apologise. Pushing me or whatever is not going to received well, especially if I spill my beverage.

I've not had a situation where anything more than eye contact or a hand gesture was necessary for someone to get the message for quite some time.

When it comes to sexual touch, I don't see that there's a reason not to ask. That should be pretty obvious.

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By *illy IdolMan
20 weeks ago

Midlands


"I would say any unwanted attention is not acceptable

I had a situation at a social where I kept stepping away from a lady who was running her hands up and down my body, including my boobs, bum and other intimate places....and then later her husband did the same.

I ended up enlisting poor Nero as my personal shield

Nero would just watch you burn…

Nope he was simply the best ❤️❤️"

Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear flat caps❤️

Sorry to hear this though, Midnight. Nobody should have to experience that.

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By *estructionDollyWoman
20 weeks ago

The Deep Dark Woods

I've had experiences of being groped by strangers in swingers clubs and it's never acceptable or okay. Any type of touching needs firm and clear consent, just because you might be naked or in the middle of a sexual act absolutely does not mean anyone can just help theselves. I normally firmly tell them please don't touch me, if they ask and I don't want them to I say no. If they do it again I use less polite language and report them to staff. It's not okay for anyone to make you feel uncomfortable in any environment but especially not in a swingers club where you may feel vulnerable. I've found in my experience the staff at usually really good at dealing with people who can't recognise boundries and consent.

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By *rs BxxWoman
20 weeks ago

Chippenham, Wiltshire.

[Removed by poster at 14/03/25 22:21:26]

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By *rs BxxWoman
20 weeks ago

Chippenham, Wiltshire.


"This happens to men too.

I have been to a few socials where some women there thought it was ok to grope me as I passed them.

If it was the other way around I would get kicked out on the spot.

Been to 5 socials and this has happened at 3 of them and more than once too.

When I said it I was told any of the other men would have loved it."

This goes for women groping women too. I've often had my breasts grabbed by women, if it had been by a man I would have told him to fuck off. I was unsure what to say to a woman so I approached the club owners, they said that it's never been presented as a problem before but to just say that it's polite to ask. I just don't go topless anymore.

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By *estructionDollyWoman
20 weeks ago

The Deep Dark Woods

Yeah I don't understand women who think it's okay to touch people without asking either. Having a vagina doesn't give you privileges in that department.

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By *oeBeansMan
20 weeks ago

Derby


"Yeah I don't understand women who think it's okay to touch people without asking either. Having a vagina doesn't give you privileges in that department. "

I do think the ratios and how valuable women are to clubs and events gets to some of their heads though to where they think it's acceptable and can get away with it. I've seen women heckling group scenarios in open playrooms; fuck her harder. You won't make her cum like that etc. whereas if a man was doing that, it absolutely wouldn't be tolerated 🤷‍♂️

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By *estructionDollyWoman
20 weeks ago

The Deep Dark Woods


"Yeah I don't understand women who think it's okay to touch people without asking either. Having a vagina doesn't give you privileges in that department.

I do think the ratios and how valuable women are to clubs and events gets to some of their heads though to where they think it's acceptable and can get away with it. I've seen women heckling group scenarios in open playrooms; fuck her harder. You won't make her cum like that etc. whereas if a man was doing that, it absolutely wouldn't be tolerated 🤷‍♂️"

Eurgh, that is not cool behaviour. Sadly I think you may be correct. The gender politics of swingers clubs baffles me no end. Some people genuinely don't know how to behave whatever gender they are

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
20 weeks ago

Coventry


"Yeah I don't understand women who think it's okay to touch people without asking either. Having a vagina doesn't give you privileges in that department.

I do think the ratios and how valuable women are to clubs and events gets to some of their heads though to where they think it's acceptable and can get away with it. I've seen women heckling group scenarios in open playrooms; fuck her harder. You won't make her cum like that etc. whereas if a man was doing that, it absolutely wouldn't be tolerated 🤷‍♂️

Eurgh, that is not cool behaviour. Sadly I think you may be correct. The gender politics of swingers clubs baffles me no end. Some people genuinely don't know how to behave whatever gender they are "

Something we've experienced over the years in clubs. Women who are bad apples do get a sense of impunity in clubs and will rarely be challenged. I think what's important is to raise problems with any guests to the management regardless of sex. And to most clubs credit they will deal with any issues raised against a woman. Because although women are in general an important asset to a club the harmony and enjoyment of others is a bigger priority.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
20 weeks ago

Coventry

I think it boils down to your ability to read a room (which I accept people have differing degrees of skill in). I would always say if in doubt don't, verbalise your intentions.

I think for us we have wider tolerance for it in the swinger environment than the vanilla environment. I mean touch in general to test the waters not like a full on intrusive action. Because we know that consent isn't always verbal. There has be times we've entered in to play with other people just based on eye contact and not a word spoken. For example in a hot there maybe a wondering hand on a leg. Not a big deal if unwanted, just politely moved away. We understand in this environment people are looking to show their intrest and can sometimes get it wrong with their aproach. Obviously if they were to do it again after we've made our intentions known that's a whole different story. However that's us, other people may have a whole different approach to unsolicited touching.

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By *tr8MrEMan
20 weeks ago

somewhere near Sheffield

I'm guessing stirring her drink with your cock would be a no no

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By *bitofaslutWoman
20 weeks ago

Cannock

Only been going to a club for six months or so.

I've had unsolicited touching but not yet unwanted or unpleasant.

For myself I think it comes down to mood and context.

I was leaving a private room after a BJ and a guy holding the door for me groped my breast while another man brushed my bum on his way past. I'd just had a cock in my mouth, it added to the moment.

Having a conversation about my transition with a d*unk girl in the vaping room. Talking about "the operation" she grabbed my crotch. It was a little surprising but I was more wary of the reaction of the people around us. I was in control and not offended and wouldn't want her to be chastised for her action.

I know it's only a matter of time until I'm subjected to attention I don't invite or enjoy, but I've seen the club staff being on hand and proactive. Until I'm shown differently, I'm comfortable treating the club as a safe space. I know every club is different, but getting friendly with the bouncers never hurt.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Central


"I think it boils down to your ability to read a room (which I accept people have differing degrees of skill in). I would always say if in doubt don't, verbalise your intentions.

I think for us we have wider tolerance for it in the swinger environment than the vanilla environment. I mean touch in general to test the waters not like a full on intrusive action. Because we know that consent isn't always verbal. There has be times we've entered in to play with other people just based on eye contact and not a word spoken. For example in a hot there maybe a wondering hand on a leg. Not a big deal if unwanted, just politely moved away. We understand in this environment people are looking to show their intrest and can sometimes get it wrong with their aproach. Obviously if they were to do it again after we've made our intentions known that's a whole different story. However that's us, other people may have a whole different approach to unsolicited touching."

The problem with assuming that it's okay to touch and you'd be directed to stop, if not, is that it doesn't provide a clear red line, that consent is always required before physical touch.

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By *affaandtaffy OP   Couple
20 weeks ago

Barry

Thank you for all of the responses guys, much to digest!

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By *affaandtaffy OP   Couple
19 weeks ago

Barry

Thanks again all. I should give my view I think as I asked all you lovely people for yours

My view is pretty extreme apparently.

I happen to think that ANY unsolicited touching of ANY sort is wrong.

It doesn't matter where you are, whether you're in the street or a bar or in a room where there's an orgy going on.

An offered hand on meeting was always the way in society when I was growing up - what's wrong with that? Covid brought us fist bumps, a great tactic I often employ to avoid the unwelcome kisses on the cheek lol

Nowadays everyone likes to hug and kiss, I'm always at the back trying to avoid them ...

So in a playroom situation why on earth would I want more? In a place where unspoken signals are so easily misconconstrued - we want to play with others but don't need to be touched up to make our minds up!

And in close quarters there's always good old fashioned talking - ask before doing anything!

Can't stand perves claiming it's just 'innocent' 'non sexual' touching just to get a cheap thrill!

Excuse the rant. But in the words of Paddy Mayne this shit gets my goat!

Maybe I'm not cut out for swinging Taffy, in case you haven't guessed...

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By *overs0412Couple
19 weeks ago

kingsbury

Swingers clubs normal clubs should be the same people should keep there hands to them selfs untill invited in that sence it puts people off going to clubs as gives off this impression of you go there to be touched and felt by other swingers

When in actual fact people go to chat to like minded people to stoke there hair or touch legs

Invited and situation that everyone is happy with fine but helping urself in a sence should definitely be a no

Should stick to good old flirting or chat and go from there no touching required at that point

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By *dz69247Man
19 weeks ago

Manchester

No unsolicited contact anywhere, especially a swingers club, where consent is paramount (not that it’s diluted anywhere else, but at a swingers club with a lot of adult activity, consent is more immediate).

However, the top of the arm is the most inoffensive area, if you are trying to get past some cunt in the way and want to move them.

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By *edhead00Woman
19 weeks ago

East Midlands

I'm sorry that you suffered this. This is SA. So sad. I can understand why you wouldn't want to go back x

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By *estructionDollyWoman
19 weeks ago

The Deep Dark Woods


"Thanks again all. I should give my view I think as I asked all you lovely people for yours

My view is pretty extreme apparently.

I happen to think that ANY unsolicited touching of ANY sort is wrong.

It doesn't matter where you are, whether you're in the street or a bar or in a room where there's an orgy going on.

An offered hand on meeting was always the way in society when I was growing up - what's wrong with that? Covid brought us fist bumps, a great tactic I often employ to avoid the unwelcome kisses on the cheek lol

Nowadays everyone likes to hug and kiss, I'm always at the back trying to avoid them ...

So in a playroom situation why on earth would I want more? In a place where unspoken signals are so easily misconconstrued - we want to play with others but don't need to be touched up to make our minds up!

And in close quarters there's always good old fashioned talking - ask before doing anything!

Can't stand perves claiming it's just 'innocent' 'non sexual' touching just to get a cheap thrill!

Excuse the rant. But in the words of Paddy Mayne this shit gets my goat!

Maybe I'm not cut out for swinging Taffy, in case you haven't guessed...

"

I don't think this is extreme at all I think it's perfectly reasonable. Don't be made me feel otherwise. It's your body and you are free to exercise autonomy over your own body.

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By *edonisthenryMan
19 weeks ago

Cambridge


"Thanks again all. I should give my view I think as I asked all you lovely people for yours

My view is pretty extreme apparently.

I happen to think that ANY unsolicited touching of ANY sort is wrong.

It doesn't matter where you are, whether you're in the street or a bar or in a room where there's an orgy going on.

An offered hand on meeting was always the way in society when I was growing up - what's wrong with that? Covid brought us fist bumps, a great tactic I often employ to avoid the unwelcome kisses on the cheek lol

Nowadays everyone likes to hug and kiss, I'm always at the back trying to avoid them ...

So in a playroom situation why on earth would I want more? In a place where unspoken signals are so easily misconconstrued - we want to play with others but don't need to be touched up to make our minds up!

And in close quarters there's always good old fashioned talking - ask before doing anything!

Can't stand perves claiming it's just 'innocent' 'non sexual' touching just to get a cheap thrill!

Excuse the rant. But in the words of Paddy Mayne this shit gets my goat!

Maybe I'm not cut out for swinging Taffy, in case you haven't guessed...

I don't think this is extreme at all I think it's perfectly reasonable. Don't be made me feel otherwise. It's your body and you are free to exercise autonomy over your own body. "

Unwanted physical contact is horrible and I have to say I experienced flicking behind the ears from a divorcee who kept referring to her ex as a 'knobhead' in the work place. Similarly I was shocked to see a good male friend, now deceased, grope women at a swingers'club called The Annex without consent. Disgusting female and male behaviour.

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By *affaandtaffy OP   Couple
19 weeks ago

Barry

Thanks guys for the supportive posts

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
19 weeks ago

Chichester

I have punched many a person for groping me randomly Filthy creepers

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
19 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh


"We were in a playroom at a club and getting busy. A guy came in and put his hand on my leg while I had my eyes closed... and I just said no. I knew people were watching but in hindsight we'd have used the playrooms with the viewing windows where they couldn't join in. Rookie mistake"

I was sat in a hot tub at a naturist spa with a friend of mine once and felt a hand on my thigh, it took me a second to realise it was not my friends hand but a complete strangers ...I moved sharpish

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By *oughmanMan
19 weeks ago

Sunderland

[Removed by poster at 18/03/25 09:02:21]

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By *aul_j80Man
19 weeks ago

Bloxwich


"Yeah I don't understand women who think it's okay to touch people without asking either. Having a vagina doesn't give you privileges in that department. "

And if the same women were groped by a man they would be likely outraged.

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