FabSwingers.com forum: Cringey and amusing phrases on Fab

By (user no longer on site) OP
20 weeks ago

Does anyone else find Fab has some very cringey and textbook wording?

'exceptional only'

'this one'

'don't miss out'

Any more to add?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

Like-minded

Been here before so know the ropes

I don't bite unless you ask me

Looking for quality not quantity

Not here to shag the whole site

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By *onnynclaireCouple
20 weeks ago

Reading

[Removed by poster at 14/03/25 06:53:26]

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By *onnynclaireCouple
20 weeks ago

Reading

"Cringe phrases:

Sit on my face

Lick for hours

To completion

Nothing in return"

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By *egoMan
20 weeks ago

Preston

Doesn't want guys with lots of verifications from different women, proceeds to request a gangbang?!

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By *_Mia_XTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Ilkeston

Treat them with respect as if it should be something people pick and choose who to be a nice person too

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By *hismMan
20 weeks ago

Ballygonowhere

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Stop msging me 👀🤣

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By *allnHandsome12Man
20 weeks ago

Teesside

Professional couple

Not one to kiss and tell (then does just that)

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By *allnHandsome12Man
20 weeks ago

Teesside

"Stop msging me 👀🤣"

😂 well if we are going that route..’how the fuck did you find my house’

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

"Stop msging me 👀🤣

😂 well if we are going that route..’how the fuck did you find my house’

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

Genuine. Hygiene is important to me and should be for you too. No time wasters.

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By *all me FlikWoman
20 weeks ago

Galaxy Far Far Away

Age is but a number

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

Looking to meet F FF M MM MF TV TS age 18 - 99. Looks and body shape not important to me.

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By *uttercupWoman
20 weeks ago

Borders

Let the fun begin

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Select singles

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

We're all here for the same reason.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
20 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

BLOCKED!

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By *2steveMan
20 weeks ago

Birmingham

Straight male, looking for tv/cd and MM

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By *ripfillMan
20 weeks ago

Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant

“ not looking for single men “ then you read the verifications ! Ummm a lot of single men it seems

Can’t accommodate can’t travel ? … therefore can’t meet ?

Ages filter “18-32 “ … therefore meet my kids and have a Diet Coke !

“ willing to try new experiences “ … looking for long term FWB… is that the new experience - a long term strategy?

Start your message with “fuck cum bucket” … no thanks!

Will only meet “ non ethnic minorities “ … I really read this, does a double negative make a positive ??

“Wanted cocks bigger than 10” …local only . Ok they exist but it’s very limiting and travel will be an issue ! Unless you have a star ship transporter

Won’t respond to winks or messages … we will find you …. ( is that code for a death threat ?)

Posted Pictures from 2012 … are they still alive ?

Do they still have their own limbs, teeth, has dementia set in ??

I am sure one could be quite cynical but it’s all about being non judgmental and giving fun and pleasure

Reading the profiles does that for sure !

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By *ortney FoxxxWoman
20 weeks ago

honeysuckle lane

I’m leaving the site 🙄 well just go

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By *rdere OpusCouple
20 weeks ago

Brum - ish

It’s the ‘I don’t bite unless you ask me’ for me.

That and I’m up for anything. What, anything?!

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

I'll try anything once

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By *ndianas bonerMan
20 weeks ago

Belfast

Passive aggressive use of the word 'peeps'

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By *eoBloomsMan
20 weeks ago

Springfield

"I'll try anything once"

Have DMd you.

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

People referring to their other half as hubby

The hygiene ones

Not my first rodeo

What fab is all about

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
20 weeks ago

Reading

Good vibes only makes me want to cry

But so does expand my sexual horizons

I also just hate the laziness in messages - 'wanna chat and see what happens?' Chat about WHAT? Throw me a bone here, I can't do it all.

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By *allnHandsome12Man
20 weeks ago

Teesside

I sometimes read the bio’s of couples and cringe at their reviews of each other, it’s not like you’re going to write sentences slagging them off is it.

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By *illy IdolMan
20 weeks ago

Midlands

Easygoing couple

New to this(been here over a year)

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

Will fill in later

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

"Easygoing couple

New to this(been here over a year)"

😭😭🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

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By *illy IdolMan
20 weeks ago

Midlands

"Easygoing couple

New to this(been here over a year)

😭😭🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️"

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Been here before, know how it all works. If we met on my previous profile please verify me again. But has no photos. How do previous meets know if they have met before ?

Curvy girls etc to the front of the queue. What queue

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By *herrybakewellCouple
20 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Genuine couple.

Usually a guarantee that they are a genuine pair of twats.

Also.....when people say they will consider exceptional couples / singles. These people often need to look in a mirror and get a reality check.

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By *pl_1979Couple
20 weeks ago

North East

Some classics on here... I always do a little head shake at 'so genuine' and 'so easy to talk to'... who's not easy to talk to?

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By *urves and MischiefWoman
20 weeks ago

North West

Been here previously and couldn’t stay away

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

"Easygoing couple

New to this(been here over a year)

😭😭🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

I forgot you're a pain in the arse

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By *herrybakewellCouple
20 weeks ago

Staffordshire

"Some classics on here... I always do a little head shake at 'so genuine' and 'so easy to talk to'... who's not easy to talk to?"

Some in here aren't easy to talk to. They have the conversation skills of a potato.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

" But has no photos. "

Cannot show photo of anything except my knob as I have a top job where discretion is paramount.

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By *imply_SensualMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire

Mainly on verifications but the good old "treat with respect" is so lame. If you are picking people who arent respectful in the first place.....

The other is "sucks like a dyson" - always makes me think that they have actually tried a dyson!

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

" They have the conversation skills of a potato. "

"can hold a conversation"

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By *orgetmeKnotCouple
20 weeks ago

Gillingham

Can't stand when people refer to themselves as "Intellectual"....yet to have an intelligent and enjoyable conversation with one.

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By *hunky GentMan
20 weeks ago

Nottingham and Stamford

I'm gobsmacked when ladies tell me they don't have any blue underwear.

It makes me feel that I should go out and buy them some.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
20 weeks ago

East Sussex

Smooth in all the important places. Where are the important places? No 10, Buck House?

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By *enny100Man
20 weeks ago

City

Been here before know how it works lol omg so annoying

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By *layfull pairingCouple
20 weeks ago

Bristol

Start your message with “supercalifragalistic” so I know you have read profile....

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By *issmorganWoman
20 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Not my first rodeo.

Genuine.

Here to meet, not swap endless messages.

I don't bite unless asked.

Dipping my toes in.

I know how this works.

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By *issmorganWoman
20 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Also on veries give this one a go ladies- no ta, I'll make my own mind up.

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By *rymedownunderMan
20 weeks ago

London/Australia

Cannot travel, cannot accommodate

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Central

Always arrive smelling nice

Probably as subtle fragrance as a Lush store. But groin won't be as fresh, as they had a couple of wanks on the way, whilst taking a dump.

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By *eoBloomsMan
20 weeks ago

Springfield

"Always arrive smelling nice

Probably as subtle fragrance as a Lush store. But groin won't be as fresh, as they had a couple of wanks on the way, whilst taking a dump.

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By *uckoldandWifeCouple
20 weeks ago

Manchester

“got a high sex drive”

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By *eroLondonMan
20 weeks ago

Covent Garden

•• sapiosexual ••

ㅤㅤ

Those who are genuinely sapiosexual have no need to mention this on their profiles. People will pick on their intellect naturally.

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By *eoBloomsMan
20 weeks ago

Springfield

"“got a high sex drive”

Means will travel hundreds of miles for a fuck

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By *endydick.CumbersnatchMan
20 weeks ago

It's some of the user names:

"PussyLickerGodTier" or "GirthMasterPussyDestroyer" shouting out in the cams rooms "9 inch here ladies" then click on their profile or see their cam and that's a saggy hunchbacked man with middle aged spread, needs a wash and twiglets in their straggy beard that you'd want no where near you. User name and shout out really doesn't sell it.......

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By *endydick.CumbersnatchMan
20 weeks ago

My comment above, I made up names, sorry if there are users on the site using those names (and if you are, I hope you can put Chris Hemsworth level sex appeal and energy into the name to carry it off)

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
20 weeks ago

My boudoir - S Wales

Having any luck on here?

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By *eroLondonMan
20 weeks ago

Covent Garden

"Having any luck on here? "

•

Yes, thank you.

You also could if you sauntered towards ye olde London Towne. 🩶

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Anything in a veri that talks about how good they were rather than the person they verified

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By *bitofaslutWoman
20 weeks ago

Cannock

"fill in later" do it now.

"Open minded, new experiences". Message me "hi", look at my very trans profile, block. Not that open, clearly.

"Dominant". 1st message "daddy loves fucking fat sluts". Literally yesterday, I got that one. Slut, fair enough, it's my username but dude is 10 years younger and fuck off with the immediate body shaming.

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By *ant...stay...awayCouple
20 weeks ago

South Wales

Nothing beats a Sydney Uni disclaimer - they've been doing the rounds for 15 years.

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

'Alpha'

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

will

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

fill

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

"•• sapiosexual ••

ㅤㅤ

Those who are genuinely sapiosexual have no need to mention this on their profiles. People will pick on their intellect naturally."

I disagree.. sapiosexual is about finding intelligence in others attractive… surely nothing to do with their own?

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

later.

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
20 weeks ago

Reading

I cringe away from anyone that makes one thing about themselves their entire personality.

So you're tall. Or have a massive cock. Or you're dominant. Okay. But what else?

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By *loria JamesTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Durham

"Been here before with lots of veris but lost my login details."

Those people that delete a profile and create a new one every few days..makes me think they keep upsetting people

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By *eroLondonMan
20 weeks ago

Covent Garden

"•• sapiosexual ••

ㅤㅤ

Those who are genuinely sapiosexual have no need to mention this on their profiles. People will pick on their intellect naturally.

I disagree.. sapiosexual is about finding intelligence in others attractive… surely nothing to do with their own?"

•

I find intelligence and erudition in others attractive, amongst other things. The manner in which they have written their profile, how they interact on the fora and in latent private messaging — is how I pick up on it. I don't need to see a boiler plate headline from their profile telling me "I'm sapiosexual!". It doesn't need to be announced.

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

'Not sure what I'm looking for or rush into anything lol'

(Account 2 days old with 100 friends and ten meet in person veris)

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By *ortney FoxxxWoman
20 weeks ago

honeysuckle lane

Ones that say ‘someone show me the ropes’ seriously you don’t know how to have sex

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

‘Treat this one with respect’

I will. But only this one because you told me to. Fuck everyone else though

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
20 weeks ago

little house on the praire

genuine

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
20 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"‘Treat this one with respect’ I will. But only this one because you told me to. Fuck everyone else though "

Makes me want to do the opposite. Don’t tell me what to do, Internet stranger.

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By *parkle1974Woman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

Honest

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
20 weeks ago

little house on the praire

When I was meeting so many sayings put me off a profile it's a wonder I ever met anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

‘No Asians or Blacks. We’re not racist it’s just our preference’

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
20 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"Can't stand when people refer to themselves as "Intellectual"....yet to have an intelligent and enjoyable conversation with one. "

Big words do not equal a big brain. It takes actual intelligence to be brief and get to the point.

"“got a high sex drive”

Well duh. You’re here, on a sex site. Never would have guessed.

"Smooth in all the important places. Where are the important places? No 10, Buck House?"

Yeah. Eyeballs?

"Not my first rodeo."

Spoiler: They’ve never even been to a rodeo.

"... sapiosexual is about finding intelligence in others attractive… surely nothing to do with their own?"

Bingo. Often wrongly used, that word.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
20 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

“Discretion is important to me.”

Really? As opposed to the other 40-odd thousand members of Fab who wear Fabswingers T-shirts to the shops and put their verifications on their CV?

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
20 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Fill in later

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
20 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"Fill in later"

I see what you did there, Mrs Nipples.

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

"“Discretion is important to me.”

Really? As opposed to the other 40-odd thousand members of Fab who wear Fabswingers T-shirts to the shops and put their verifications on their CV?"

Wait are we not suppose to do that?

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
20 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"Wait are we not suppose to do that?"

Hey, it was fine for that one job. And you got it, after all.

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By *lwaysNaughtyandNiceMan
20 weeks ago

Canterbury

"Fab to add"

"Fab if you would......"

Let the quality photos shine, not the generic cringe.

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

"Ones that say ‘someone show me the ropes’ seriously you don’t know how to have sex

This is ok, when it comes to popping the shibari cherry.

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By *orgetmeKnotCouple
20 weeks ago

Gillingham

"“Discretion is important to me.”

Really? As opposed to the other 40-odd thousand members of Fab who wear Fabswingers T-shirts to the shops and put their verifications on their CV?"

Fab do T-shirts?? I'd wear one to the shops if they did

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Central

"Ones that say ‘someone show me the ropes’ seriously you don’t know how to have sex

Honestly, they really do! Who doesn't like a manbaby who needs spoonfeeding?

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By *ripfillMan
20 weeks ago

Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant

"Will fill in later"

That’s one of the best …. Or just lazy !

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Central

Fab my pics

to get added to the block list, as obviously desperate and unappealing

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

People who describe themselves as ‘sexy, ‘attractive’, ‘hot’…..

They’re nearly always not !

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By *parkle1974Woman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

"Fill in later"

Especially when they joined over a year ago

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By *lue Eyed JokerMan
20 weeks ago

Always on the move

The passive aggressive list of demands always make ne laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Does this rag smell of chloramphome to you babes

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
20 weeks ago

little house on the praire

oh that bloody bdsm kink list they put up turns me off

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Central

Couldn't keep away

The wife found out, dumped me and I'm even more desperate now.

Here for a good time, not a long time

Until I find out what details to put in the next profile, to bypass filters and the sensible ones who blocked me. And find some pics of a pornstar to use, that looks better than my real ones.

Never any complaints -

You think I'd listen or care?

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By *ntraditional_GentMan
20 weeks ago

Notts coty centre

[Removed by poster at 14/03/25 13:22:33]

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By *ntraditional_GentMan
20 weeks ago

Notts coty centre

Not something on the profiles, but when they have pics and add text to them like “Fab to be next”, “Fab for friend request”, just general cringey Fab engagement farming. I just think, it’s a picture of you looking quite hot. You’re going to get Fabs without being a beg.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Central

"oh that bloody bdsm kink list they put up turns me off"

It's just another space filler, for the lazy who can't be bothered to write.

Results from turnyouoff dot ick:

0% empathetic

100% lazy

100% clueless

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By *a LunaWoman
20 weeks ago

o o OO o o

Mobile numbers in profile text.

It screams desperate.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
20 weeks ago

little house on the praire

In to everything

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By *ntraditional_GentMan
20 weeks ago

Notts coty centre

"In to everything"

“EVERYTHING” just makes me think they’ve only had very vanilla experiences and haven’t yet learnt what they actually like, only that vanilla isn’t fully satiating them

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By *eoBloomsMan
20 weeks ago

Springfield

'Discreet' - I kinda feel anyone who's all over a sex site ain't too discreet.🤣

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By *atman_and_PoisonIvyCouple
20 weeks ago

The Batcave, nr. Cannock

The term 'Professional couple'

What, do you get paid for it.. or something?

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By *ortney FoxxxWoman
20 weeks ago

honeysuckle lane

"oh that bloody bdsm kink list they put up turns me off

It's just another space filler, for the lazy who can't be bothered to write.

Results from turnyouoff dot ick:

0% empathetic

100% lazy

100% clueless "

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By *allnHandsome12Man
20 weeks ago

Teesside

"oh that bloody bdsm kink list they put up turns me off"

Do many men do this? I’ve seen it on a few women’s profiles but only a few. Makes me cringe though.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
20 weeks ago

little house on the praire

"oh that bloody bdsm kink list they put up turns me off

Do many men do this? I’ve seen it on a few women’s profiles but only a few. Makes me cringe though."
There's quite a few with it on, makes me laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

"Aftercare"

Never fails to raise a giggle.

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By *issmorganWoman
20 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I can't have any pics due to work - wait so your Co workers would recognise your bum or legs etc? Doubtful.

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By *allnHandsome12Man
20 weeks ago

Teesside

"oh that bloody bdsm kink list they put up turns me off

Do many men do this? I’ve seen it on a few women’s profiles but only a few. Makes me cringe though.There's quite a few with it on, makes me laugh"

Ahh I see! Wonder if it works😂

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By *eroLondonMan
20 weeks ago

Covent Garden

"Fill in later"

I have every intention to. 😈

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By *allnHandsome12Man
20 weeks ago

Teesside

Recently saw a bio which was simply ‘seeing who is about’. No doubt they will moan at the lack of ‘quality’ first messages and fail to see what the issue may be.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
20 weeks ago

little house on the praire

"Recently saw a bio which was simply ‘seeing who is about’. No doubt they will moan at the lack of ‘quality’ first messages and fail to see what the issue may be."
some just don't have a clue then moan at their lack of success

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By *orksiMan
20 weeks ago

Norwich

Definitely "not my first rodeo" no one really gives a shit..

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By *eyond PurityCouple
20 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

Discreet and discrete 😱😱

Always always makes me think they are playing away…

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By *an8iMan
20 weeks ago

Bilston

Must be gym fit even though I've never set foot in a gym

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
20 weeks ago

little house on the praire

You won't be disappointed

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By *Bqwerty69Man
20 weeks ago

Stourport

Be original and interesting with your message

*Their profile is almost completely blank or has "will fill in later*

Like, give me something to work off, please!

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
20 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"You won't be disappointed "

Oh, honey. When I read that, I already am.

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

"The term 'Professional couple'

What, do you get paid for it.. or something?"

Yeah, No estate agent would ever be brave enough to define this, but they'll still type it every other listing.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
20 weeks ago

little house on the praire

can lick pussy for hours

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

‘Let’s have a game that involves voting for your favourite forum users. Hell we’ll even have categories’.

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By *ros40Man
20 weeks ago

Bedford

Genuine people only

Send face pic please, to a blank profile

Have you got a pet dwarf

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By *midnight-Woman
20 weeks ago

...

You look great.... For your age

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By *oshrocksMan
20 weeks ago

Gloucester

I don't bite, unless you ask me to.

That really winds me up!

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

"‘No Asians or Blacks. We’re not racist it’s just our preference’"

How many white men feel disgusted at 'Black guys only'? Disappointed, maybe, but this is FAB and the idea of a wish list is to ask for what you enjoy, not to keep the

If you are not attracted to them, that's your right. Having sex with someone is a privilege, not a legally given right.

We can filter out smokers, age groups, gym Bunnies, unvaxxed, whole genders, time wasters and other demographics. ho moans about that?

Being denied sex is not covered under any secular legal human right framework. Provide evidence to dispute this.

This isn't bigotry, it's choice. Don't let 1984 and the thought police ruin it for people. We are adults and have to accept rejection and yes it sucks.

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By *issmorganWoman
20 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Any that use mmmmmmmmmmm, cringe.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
20 weeks ago

little house on the praire

seduce my mind and my body will follow

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By *he Silver FuxMan
20 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

Put ‘FUCK RIGHT OFF’ in your message header to prove you have scanned our shitty entitled profile all the way down to the multiple BS legal disclaimers and the nonsense about Sydney University…

🥱

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By *he Silver FuxMan
20 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

"Any that use mmmmmmmmmmm, cringe. "

Mmmm… I fucking hate that too

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By *eroLondonMan
20 weeks ago

Covent Garden

"seduce my mind and my body will follow"

Something that Anne Boleyn wouldn't have put on her profile, in hindsight.

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By *ackformore100Man
20 weeks ago

Tin town

""Aftercare"

Never fails to raise a giggle. "

Is that a damp flannel?

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

"seduce my mind and my body will follow

Something that Anne Boleyn wouldn't have put on her profile, in hindsight."

Is it hindsight? seeing as she no longer has a shoulder to look over.

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By *erdyEstLdner 82Man
20 weeks ago

Ilford

Will only see married/coupled men, because single men don't respect boundaries. (Not common I've only seen this twice).

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By *onnynclaireCouple
20 weeks ago

Reading

Offer of massages! God no.

Expert hands. Everyone’s a flipping massage therapist all of a sudden.

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By *lan157Man
20 weeks ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

" if you are xxx go to the top of the list" Makes me laugh

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By *ommy trucker1Man
20 weeks ago

anywhere near you

Bbc only ? What's wrong with itv Is usually my response 😆

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By *electableicecreamMan
20 weeks ago

The West

The pube nazis are the ones who make my laugh the most.

Shaved and expect same...

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Central

"oh that bloody bdsm kink list they put up turns me off

Do many men do this? I’ve seen it on a few women’s profiles but only a few. Makes me cringe though."

Yes, often loads have it

. It's generally an interest killer. It's much better and clearer, if a man explains in his own words what he wants and is bringing to the table.

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By *eroLondonMan
20 weeks ago

Covent Garden

"Will only see married/coupled men, because single men don't respect boundaries. (Not common I've only seen this twice)."

It's true; single men make poor cartographers.

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

"Offer of massages! God no.

Expert hands. Everyone’s a flipping massage therapist all of a sudden."

I do spikey gloves, so that's different.

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

'here for a good time not a long time': well I want both.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Central

"Offer of massages! God no.

Expert hands. Everyone’s a flipping massage therapist all of a sudden."

Yes but it's Yogi massage, or something

It's only so they can communicate via touch - who wouldn't want to strip off, lie down, with the lightest modesty cover over them. We can drift off, listening to the soothing music, as the Yogi fingers do their magic

And with a little extra spare time, he's also a professional photographer, so we might as well let him use his lenses

It says he's professional, so would obviously adhere to a professional code of conduct.

I was looking at spa days last week and it was £500. Treatments extra. So getting a professional masseur for nothing, must be the bargain of the year!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Central

"'here for a good time not a long time': well I want both."

Greedy

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Central

"Will only see married/coupled men, because single men don't respect boundaries. (Not common I've only seen this twice)."

Except their wife's boundaries, of course

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By *urvyLady4BlackMenWoman
20 weeks ago

Norwich

"I’m leaving the site 🙄 well just go "

This is hilarious, you see it a lot too.

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By *ames_1984Man
20 weeks ago

plymouth

This has entertained me! Lol I’m in the front room horny as fuck with the Mrs in the kitchen with her mates. Any one wanna chat about this horny scenario lol xx

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

"'here for a good time not a long time': well I want both.

Greedy "

And two women at once

again!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
20 weeks ago

little house on the praire

not here to sleep with the whole site

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By *ardigan SpiceWoman
20 weeks ago

Cardigan/Aberystwyth

Status updates that include - leaving when site support runs out unless you can convince me to stay.

Verifications that say ' don't pass him/her by.

That Sydney University disclaimer....

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By *ynamite500Man
20 weeks ago

Angus

Not my first rodeo 🥴

Whenever I read that one, I always imagine a lady bouncing for dear life on a massive bull, getting whiplashed!🤣

Maybe I should include them naked in my image?🤔

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By *tr8MrEMan
20 weeks ago

somewhere near Sheffield

Discreet meets (says the single woman)

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By *effdelightMan
20 weeks ago

Grimsby

"Like-minded

Been here before so know the ropes

I don't bite unless you ask me

Looking for quality not quantity

Not here to shag the whole site"

hahaha

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By *ynamite500Man
20 weeks ago

Angus

Won't reply unless face pic attached in first message.... Says the blank profile 🤔

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By *abluesbabyMan
20 weeks ago

Gibraltar/Cheshire/London

'Couple's' profiles where, funnily, at the very last minute the missus can't make it... Hmmm....

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By *hunky GentMan
20 weeks ago

Nottingham and Stamford

"'Couple's' profiles where, funnily, at the very last minute the missus can't make it... Hmmm...."

And then the male 'half of the couple' can give you the best blowjob ever.

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By *bitofaslutWoman
20 weeks ago

Cannock

"'Couple's' profiles where, funnily, at the very last minute the missus can't make it... Hmmm...."

"She's ill"

"We split up"

"She's/I'm away with work"

Sure, let's go with that.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
20 weeks ago

London

Guys who say put a password in to prove you've read their profile before messaging. As we all know single guys are just bombarded on here.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
20 weeks ago

London

"Will only see married/coupled men, because single men don't respect boundaries. (Not common I've only seen this twice).

It's true; single men make poor cartographers."

That's why Lewis and Clark were in a threesome.

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By *ottsbluesMan
20 weeks ago

Nottingham

“Professional” or “Educated” are ones that always tickle me.

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By *aloma PicassoWoman
20 weeks ago

Waterford city

What has you up so late

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By *ottsbluesMan
20 weeks ago

Nottingham

"What has you up so late

I can’t sleep, you?

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By *exxyyDy11Man
20 weeks ago

North West

"This site is a waste of time" proceeds to ignore all messages

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
20 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

""This site is a waste of time" proceeds to ignore all messages "

🤣

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By *leaningdutiesMan
20 weeks ago

South London

Looking for someone to send a memebership code so I can upload vids.

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By *exxyyDy11Man
20 weeks ago

North West

"Looking for someone to send a memebership code so I can upload vids.

Oh that really annoys me. Pay for it your damn self

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By *exxyyDy11Man
20 weeks ago

North West

""This site is a waste of time" proceeds to ignore all messages

🤣"

Or constantly moaning about the site and saying they're going to leave and they never do 😂

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By *ackformore100Man
20 weeks ago

Tin town

My balls need draining

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

"My balls need draining "

R U a heavy cummer?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Central

Destroy you, etc

I think some must be Putin associates

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

Eat u out

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By *ickeyblueeyes7Man
20 weeks ago

newport

"Looking to meet F FF M MM MF TV TS age 18 - 99. Looks and body shape not important to me."

Sounds to me like their desperate

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By *erry bull1Man
20 weeks ago

doncaster

What you into

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By *ackformore100Man
20 weeks ago

Tin town

420 friendly / party favours / Chem friendly

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Anyone who describes themselves as a viking.

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By *layfullsamMan
20 weeks ago

Solihull

Play.. noughts and crosses, chess, cards ?

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By *ickeyblueeyes7Man
20 weeks ago

newport

"can lick pussy for hours"

Have these guys got a bionic jaw and tounge to lick it for hours

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