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Just the facts ma’am

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
20 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

I do love a good ‘fact’, let’s hear your best ones

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
20 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

Running was invented in 1782 when Lord Runnington III tried to walk twice at the same time

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By *moothdickMan
20 weeks ago

stoke

The sun shines beyond the clouds in day light hours

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

You can't get better than a kwik fit fitter. Certain age quote

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

Jogging was invented by Jim Fixx who died age 52 whilst jogging.

The Segway was invented by Jimi Heselden who died falling off a cliff into a river whilst riding his Segway.

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Jellyfish poo and eat from the same place.

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By *aomilatteCouple
20 weeks ago

Midlands

Women have a secret bladder that holds squirting liquid.

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire

Earth is actually flat, this has been confirmed by members of the flat earth society all around the globe! Fact!!

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By *elloWoman
20 weeks ago

alpha centauri


"Earth is actually flat, this has been confirmed by members of the flat earth society all around the globe! Fact!! "

Oh I like that one, I'm stealing that

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

20 weeks ago

East Sussex

Feet were first invented in Italy sometime in the 12th century by a woman whose shoes kept falling off

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds


"Women have a secret bladder that holds squirting liquid. "

But not all women. Or maybe my secret bladderful hasn't been released yet. It must be fetid after all these years.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
20 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh


"Earth is actually flat, this has been confirmed by members of the flat earth society all around the globe! Fact!! "

Now now, we all know the cats of the world would have pushed everything off the edge by now 🤣🤣

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
20 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Feet were first invented in Italy sometime in the 12th century by a woman whose shoes kept falling off "

They get it

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire


"Earth is actually flat, this has been confirmed by members of the flat earth society all around the globe! Fact!!

Oh I like that one, I'm stealing that "

You’re welcome 🥰

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire


"Women have a secret bladder that holds squirting liquid.

But not all women. Or maybe my secret bladderful hasn't been released yet. It must be fetid after all these years. "

If you need a “hand” finding it I’m particularly skilled in that area! 😉

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire


"Earth is actually flat, this has been confirmed by members of the flat earth society all around the globe! Fact!!

Now now, we all know the cats of the world would have pushed everything off the edge by now 🤣🤣"

No, we thought of this one, the earths rim is lined with cucumbers, and cats are terrified by cucumbers, another well know fact!

If you don’t believe me just google cats Vs cucumbers… cute and hilarious!

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

There are twice as meany nippels on earth as there is humans

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire


"There are twice as meany nippels on earth as there is humans "

Correct, because as we know animals don’t have nips…. I got all the facts!!

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

I sead humans 👀

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds


"There are twice as meany nippels on earth as there is humans "

There must be less.

What about people with mastectomies ?

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By *elloWoman
20 weeks ago

alpha centauri


"There are twice as meany nippels on earth as there is humans

There must be less.

What about people with mastectomies ?"

The third nipple people make up for them

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago


"There are twice as meany nippels on earth as there is humans

There must be less.

What about people with mastectomies ?"

But there are also people with nubbins

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

If u loose a nipple it's still on earth somewhere don't get me started on the facts

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

I sead it so it's facts 🤨

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire

A particularly relevant one for fab…

A group of unicorns is called a blessing…. Now that really is a fact, literally and figuratively 😁

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

I could’ve gone pro but I got a knee injury.

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire


"I sead it so it's facts 🤨"

Alright calm down Mr Trump!! 😂😂

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago


"I sead it so it's facts 🤨

Alright calm down Mr Trump!! 😂😂"

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire

Come on people stop “nip” picking

Bron has made his case!

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds


"Come on people stop “nip” picking

Bron has made his case! "

Is his case full of lost nipples ?

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By *elloWoman
20 weeks ago

alpha centauri


"I do love a good ‘fact’, let’s hear your best ones"

Musicals and plays are the same

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds


"

Musicals and plays are the same "

What are your thoughts on opera ?

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire


"I do love a good ‘fact’, let’s hear your best ones

Musicals and plays are the same "

Indeed, I support equality in the theatre!

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By *estructionDollyWoman
20 weeks ago

The Deep Dark Woods


"A particularly relevant one for fab…

A group of unicorns is called a blessing…. Now that really is a fact, literally and figuratively 😁"

I love this

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By *elloWoman
20 weeks ago

alpha centauri


"

Musicals and plays are the same

What are your thoughts on opera ?"

I've only seen don Giovanni, it was a modern adaptation but the original songs, a fabulous operatic musical play

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire


"

Musicals and plays are the same

What are your thoughts on opera ?"

Na fuck them, they clearly have their knickers in a twist and wound up way too tight!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

20 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Statistically speaking, 67.7% of all facts quoted on social media by 34.1% of people are factually incorrect 45.2% of the time......

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By *he MinionMan
20 weeks ago

.


"There are twice as meany nippels on earth as there is humans

There must be less.

What about people with mastectomies ?

The third nipple people make up for them "

1 in 18 people have a 3rd nipple.

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By *he MinionMan
20 weeks ago

.

28% of statistics are made up on the spot

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds


"

1 in 18 people have a 3rd nipple."

I've only seen one person with a third nipple. Statistically I should have seen a few hundred.

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire

1 in 18 men on fab have a 3rd leg!

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By *ister_ee_1981Man
20 weeks ago

S-Exeter

Check Norris once delivered an uppercut to a horse. Its now known as a giraffe

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire


"Check Norris once delivered an uppercut to a horse. Its now known as a giraffe"

😂😂😂 fucking brilliant!

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By *ohn 66Man
20 weeks ago

South Birmingham


"A particularly relevant one for fab…

A group of unicorns is called a blessing…. Now that really is a fact, literally and figuratively 😁"

The collective noun for a group of bankers is a 'wunch'

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire

Camping sex is fucking in’tents

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By *ergus1622Man
20 weeks ago

Dundee


"Earth is actually flat, this has been confirmed by members of the flat earth society all around the globe! Fact!! "

I'm sure on there Web paige it used to say that

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By *ergus1622Man
20 weeks ago

Dundee

A formula one car can drive upside down when going over 90mph due to down force it creating

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire


"Earth is actually flat, this has been confirmed by members of the flat earth society all around the globe! Fact!!

I'm sure on there Web paige it used to say that "

Actually that wouldn’t surprise me 🤦🏻‍♂️

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By *uchessdoeWoman
20 weeks ago

Northampton

Gravy is a soup.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds


"Gravy is a soup. "

Is custard ?

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By *estructionDollyWoman
20 weeks ago

The Deep Dark Woods


"Earth is actually flat, this has been confirmed by members of the flat earth society all around the globe! Fact!!

I'm sure on there Web paige it used to say that "

I've seen this mentioned on QI I think it is true

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire


"Gravy is a soup. "

All gravy is a sauce, but not all sauce is a gravy

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire


"Gravy is a soup.

Is custard ?"

no that’s just kinky!

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By *uchessdoeWoman
20 weeks ago

Northampton


"Gravy is a soup.

Is custard ?"

Yes, custard is also a soup.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

Why do we cook soup in a saucepan ?

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago


"A formula one car can drive upside down when going over 90mph due to down force it creating "

Upside down force

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds


"A formula one car can drive upside down when going over 90mph due to down force it creating

Upside down force "

How does it drive upside down without wheels ? Is it like a hovercraft or a toboggan ?

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By *ildTimes.Man
20 weeks ago

Wherever I May Roam


"A formula one car can drive upside down when going over 90mph due to down force it creating

Upside down force

How does it drive upside down without wheels ? Is it like a hovercraft or a toboggan ?"

The wheels would be on the ceiling ! 🥪

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By *ornysouthwalesMan
20 weeks ago

Merthyr Tydfil

You can’t lick your elbow!

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By *uchessdoeWoman
20 weeks ago

Northampton


"Why do we cook soup in a saucepan ?"

Agreed, we should cook it in a souppan

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago


"Why do we cook soup in a saucepan ?

Agreed, we should cook it in a souppan "

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds


"

The wheels would be on the ceiling ! 🥪"

Is the Formula 1 car being driven over 90mph indoors ?

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By *estructionDollyWoman
20 weeks ago

The Deep Dark Woods


"Gravy is a soup.

Is custard ?

Yes, custard is also a soup."

Not the way my mum makes it, you could cut it into slices - definitely a solid.

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire


"A formula one car can drive upside down when going over 90mph due to down force it creating

Upside down force "

When upside down the the whole car acts like an aeroplane and therefore creates lift, this is the force acting on it. So the car would have to be travelling upside down on the roof of a tunnel.

Only works in a tunnel when the car is upside down travelling along the roof of a tunnel

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By *ildTimes.Man
20 weeks ago

Wherever I May Roam


"

The wheels would be on the ceiling ! 🥪

Is the Formula 1 car being driven over 90mph indoors ?"

It's theoretical! He's just saying due to the down force the car produces it could stick to the ceiling at that speed 🥪

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds


"

Yes, custard is also a soup.

Not the way my mum makes it, you could cut it into slices - definitely a solid. "

A custard tart

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire


"Gravy is a soup.

Is custard ?

Yes, custard is also a soup.

Not the way my mum makes it, you could cut it into slices - definitely a solid. "

Just be thankful it’s not a gas……. Oh no wait, that’s mustard 🤦🏻‍♂️

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

The man who invented mustard gas also invented a process for the industrial scale production of fertiliser

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By *uriousscouserWoman
20 weeks ago

Wirral

In the original draft of IT Stephen King's villain wasn't an evil clown shape-shifter, it was a tech support helpdesk so unhelpful that the people who contacted it voluntarily offed themselves.

That's why it was called IT.

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By *elloWoman
20 weeks ago

alpha centauri


"You can’t lick your elbow!"

And you shouldn't lick strangers elbows on the train, I've been told by 2 police officers and a judge

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire


"In the original draft of IT Stephen King's villain wasn't an evil clown shape-shifter, it was a tech support helpdesk so unhelpful that the people who contacted it voluntarily offed themselves.

That's why it was called IT."

Ahhh that will explain my compulsion to turn it off and on again!

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By *parkle1974Woman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

Giraffes 🦒 have purple tongues and kangaroos can't walk backwards x

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
20 weeks ago

North West

Chips were invented in 1834 by Joseph McCain. He was trying to shred the evidence of his secret trysts on Ye Olde Fab (all done on parchment with invisible ink) but accidentally chucked his lunchtime potato into the shredder. Hey presto! Chips. The first ones didn't have ketchup as the red sauce though

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By *r Mind CandyMan
20 weeks ago

Cheshire


"You can’t lick your elbow!

And you shouldn't lick strangers elbows on the train, I've been told by 2 police officers and a judge "

What are you doing in the forums? Shouldn’t you be down the police station signing that register today? 😝

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By *uchessdoeWoman
20 weeks ago

Northampton


"Gravy is a soup.

Is custard ?

Yes, custard is also a soup.

Not the way my mum makes it, you could cut it into slices - definitely a solid. "

in those cases, custard is a cake.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds


" The first ones didn't have ketchup as the red sauce though "

Or is it red gravy ?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
20 weeks ago

North West


" The first ones didn't have ketchup as the red sauce though

Or is it red gravy ?"

I think Mr McCain's finger slipped in with the chips.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds


"

in those cases, custard is a cake."

If you have jelly in one ear and custard in the other you are a trifle deaf

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By *uchessdoeWoman
20 weeks ago

Northampton


"

in those cases, custard is a cake.

If you have jelly in one ear and custard in the other you are a trifle deaf "

👏

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

It is a fact that all of the people born in 1900, who drank Coca Cola, subsequently died.

Think about that next time you crack a can of liquid sunshine.

😐

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
20 weeks ago

North West

Astronomer Sonny Day got into an argument with colleague Biff Wellington after Wellington replied to a question with "Your mum". Day got lasting revenge when he named newly discovered planet Uranus.

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By *wertyjk01Man
20 weeks ago

NW London/Kent/Midlands

Did you know that the concorde used so much fuel that 2 out it's 4 engines were not started until a couple of minutes before take off - this was also so they the plane could be idle as the thrust from all 4 engines even at idle would move it along.

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By *ll-Knight-longMan
20 weeks ago

Derby/Notts(Long Eaton)


"There are twice as meany nippels on earth as there is humans "

No I have found a few more with my grease gun

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By *aysOfOurLivesCouple
20 weeks ago

Chigwell

[Removed by poster at 13/03/25 14:48:00]

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By *aysOfOurLivesCouple
20 weeks ago

Chigwell

In 1783, Brighton, England. The Bicycle was converted from a Unicycle when both Mr and Mrs Swingster wanted to ride it.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
20 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh


"A particularly relevant one for fab…

A group of unicorns is called a blessing…. Now that really is a fact, literally and figuratively 😁"

And a bunch wearing moustaches and a hat is a blessing in disguise 🥸🤣🤣🤣🤣

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds


"

A group of unicorns is called a blessing….

And a bunch wearing moustaches and a hat is a blessing in disguise 🥸🤣🤣🤣🤣"

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By *he National ThrustMan
20 weeks ago

Horsham, Sussex

Jammy Dodgers were not a popular biscuit all the way across The Roman Empire

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By *ohn 66Man
20 weeks ago

South Birmingham


"You can’t lick your elbow!"

You haven't seen the size of my tongue

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
20 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

Bees, invented in Manchester in 1824, were developed to make pollination of crops more efficient to feed the rapidly growing population.

Before 1824, wasps were responsible for most crop pollination, but since they only really like cocacola and BBQ food, and have a famously laissez faire attitude to work results were haphazard. This was okay on small scale feudal farms but with the advent of intensive agriculture a different solution was required.

By combining the sweet tooth, fuzziness and insistence of the fruit fly with the food driven tenacity of the wasp, scientists created what we know as the bee.

To this day The University of Manchester still earn a royalty on every bee born, which is how they are able to build such magnificent buildings and why bees are everywhere you look in the city centre.

Wasps on the other hand, still salty about losing their jobs, continue t ok take their revenge by making life miserable for people during the summer months, but only when the weather is nice, and they can be arsed.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
20 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Bees, invented in Manchester in 1824, were developed to make pollination of crops more efficient to feed the rapidly growing population.

Before 1824, wasps were responsible for most crop pollination, but since they only really like cocacola and BBQ food, and have a famously laissez faire attitude to work results were haphazard. This was okay on small scale feudal farms but with the advent of intensive agriculture a different solution was required.

By combining the sweet tooth, fuzziness and insistence of the fruit fly with the food driven tenacity of the wasp, scientists created what we know as the bee.

To this day The University of Manchester still earn a royalty on every bee born, which is how they are able to build such magnificent buildings and why bees are everywhere you look in the city centre.

Wasps on the other hand, still salty about losing their jobs, continue t ok take their revenge by making life miserable for people during the summer months, but only when the weather is nice, and they can be arsed.

"

You learn something new everyday!

I’d be interested to know how they mated the fruit fly with the much larger wasp and how bumble bees were developed

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
20 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Gloves were invented in 1784 by Sir Henry Glove, he was later knighted for services to hands. Gloves were originally made of weasel pelts but the sneaky little weasels proved difficult to catch, so stoat’s coats became the default glove material of choice. The inventor of the furry muff, Mervyn C. Muff, was most put out by the rise and rise of the glove.

Mrs TMN x

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

Who invented the mitten ?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

20 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Dogs can't look up.

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

We are all ghosts, piloting meat covered skeletons, made of stardust.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
20 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"Who invented the mitten ?"

That information has been lost to history. Or possibly in an old coat pocket.

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough


"We are all ghosts, piloting meat covered skeletons, made of stardust."

Nice.

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Veg oil and cooking oils was marketed and made from surplus engine oil from the war. The marketing was to tell ppl that natural fats like butter, beef dripping and lard was bad for you. But it isnt.there was no fat ppl in the 50s health was alot better than it is now. Liquid cooking oil.is a big player in obesity. It takes 5 yrs for the toxin to leave your body. Alzeimers is on the rise because your brain needs cholesterol to function. Liver makes cholesterol. So eat your good fats and leave the veg/seed oils on the shelf

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

Don't talk to the NRA about gun control (and how their precious constitution can and has been amended): because those poor darlings are far too easily triggered.

They can't be schooled on this, even if you use bullet points.

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough


"Veg oil and cooking oils was marketed and made from surplus engine oil from the war. The marketing was to tell ppl that natural fats like butter, beef dripping and lard was bad for you. But it isnt.there was no fat ppl in the 50s health was alot better than it is now. Liquid cooking oil.is a big player in obesity. It takes 5 yrs for the toxin to leave your body. Alzeimers is on the rise because your brain needs cholesterol to function. Liver makes cholesterol. So eat your good fats and leave the veg/seed oils on the shelf "

The fat shaming applies to oils too. The problem with faddy food science, is as bad as big pharma. These ideas come as a trend and end up ingrained into the national psyche. They overstay their welcome even after being debunked.

The alt milk makers seem to go quiet on those who have intolerances to nuts and oats.

The Mediterranean and Japanese diets have the best outcomes.

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

The guy who invented plagiarism, stole the idea from someone else.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds


"The guy who invented plagiarism, stole the idea from someone else."

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

It's more appropriate to call vaginas melons; instead of boobs.

The reason is this, you can eat, drink and wash your face in them.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
20 weeks ago

Manchester-ish


"Bees, invented in Manchester in 1824, were developed to make pollination of crops more efficient to feed the rapidly growing population.

Before 1824, wasps were responsible for most crop pollination, but since they only really like cocacola and BBQ food, and have a famously laissez faire attitude to work results were haphazard. This was okay on small scale feudal farms but with the advent of intensive agriculture a different solution was required.

By combining the sweet tooth, fuzziness and insistence of the fruit fly with the food driven tenacity of the wasp, scientists created what we know as the bee.

To this day The University of Manchester still earn a royalty on every bee born, which is how they are able to build such magnificent buildings and why bees are everywhere you look in the city centre.

Wasps on the other hand, still salty about losing their jobs, continue t ok take their revenge by making life miserable for people during the summer months, but only when the weather is nice, and they can be arsed.

You learn something new everyday!

I’d be interested to know how they mated the fruit fly with the much larger wasp and how bumble bees were developed "

Well... Fly sex isn't like you or I would have sex, or even how other people would. It's more like fly bukake 😏. So you just need to surround a female wasp with several horny male fruit flies and Bob's your proverbial uncle.

Bumble bees are wasps crossed with the fruit fly's dumber, lazier cousin, the big ole bluebottle. You notice how similarly they boink off the window when they are trapped inside the house.

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 13/03/25 16:42:24]

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough


"Gravy is a soup.

Is custard ?"

That's a sauce

Brandy sauce (without the brandy)

Sauce Anglaise

Custard

Custard is a major food group, along with cheese

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By *idssissyTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Nr cricket ground birm

Flavoured potato chips were invented in Ireland

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Jaffa cakes are a biscuit🤷‍♂️

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By *ustincider888Man
20 weeks ago

Preston Ish


"Jaffa cakes are a biscuit🤷‍♂️"

Clue's in the name

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago


"Jaffa cakes are a biscuit🤷‍♂️

Clue's in the name "

But is it

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

You never truely see your own face, just reflections and photos

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

Biting the legs off gingerbread men, does not equate to disabling cookies.

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough


"Jaffa cakes are a biscuit🤷‍♂️

Clue's in the name

But is it"

legally is has been decided for VAT reasons.

Cake goes dry when stale, biscuits go soft when stale.

QI did a piece on it.

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By *rthur30Man
20 weeks ago

Warrington


"Running was invented in 1782 when Lord Runnington III tried to walk twice at the same time"

Lol!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

20 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

If all 8 billion people on the planet pee'd into the grand canyon at once, it would take over 800,000 years to fill it and they'd have to be doing it constantly, based on the estimated volume of the space to fill being 1.2 quadrillion gallons and the average person peeing half a gallon a day.

The things you learn daily on Facey. 🤷‍♂️

*and yes, there was a terrible cartoon graphic involved......🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough


"Jaffa cakes are a biscuit🤷‍♂️

Clue's in the name "

Nope

Crush olives get olive oil

Crush peanuts get peanut oil

Crush sunflower seeds get sunflower oil

Crush linseed to get linseed oil

Crush Flax to get flaxseed oil

So what exactly do you need to crush, in order to make baby oil?

Nope! Not that!

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By *rthur30Man
20 weeks ago

Warrington


"

Musicals and plays are the same

What are your thoughts on opera ?

I've only seen don Giovanni, it was a modern adaptation but the original songs, a fabulous operatic musical play "

There is recitative in Don Giovanni, so it has music, songs and spoken/sung dialogue. It is also rather good.

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

If there are 4 billion females on earth why is it so untidy 👀🤣

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Oh dear, where's my popcorn

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

😬🤣

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough


"Oh dear, where's my popcorn"

Under the seat where you dropped it?

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By *2000ManMan
20 weeks ago

Worthing

There is more chocolate in space than first thought. Mars, Milky Way and Galaxy!

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By *he MinionMan
20 weeks ago

.

The milk should go in LAST.

Fact

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
20 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh


"If there are 4 billion females on earth why is it so untidy 👀🤣"

Because us women are generally rather untidy 🤣🤣🤣

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By *he MinionMan
20 weeks ago

.


"Biting the legs off gingerbread men, does not equate to disabling cookies."

If you accept all the cookies, when will they be delivered ?

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By *elloWoman
20 weeks ago

alpha centauri


"Dogs can't look up. "

And the Winchester rifle above the bar is deactivated

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By *elloWoman
20 weeks ago

alpha centauri


"If there are 4 billion females on earth why is it so untidy 👀🤣

Because us women are generally rather untidy 🤣🤣🤣"

We're all too busy giving blow jobs to waste time tidying up

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By *eoBloomsMan
20 weeks ago

Springfield


"Biting the legs off gingerbread men, does not equate to disabling cookies."

🤣🤣

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By *erry bull1Man
20 weeks ago

doncaster

George formby , never actually cleaned any windows

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By *ndycoinsMan
20 weeks ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

Yul Brinner was a Liverpool FC supporter who hated aftershave.Which is why Yul never wore Cologne.

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By *uri00620Woman
20 weeks ago

Croydon


"There is more chocolate in space than first thought. Mars, Milky Way and Galaxy!"

Not forgetting Magic Stars too (if they still exist?)

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough


"There is more chocolate in space than first thought. Mars, Milky Way and Galaxy!"

Starbar and Milky bar (white chocolate, I know and like it too!) that's before we talk about the foreign ones

Apollo: Japan

Shuttle snacks and Moon Chocolate: 'Murica

Astros: Northern Ireland

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough


"Biting the legs off gingerbread men, does not equate to disabling cookies.

If you accept all the cookies, when will they be delivered ?"

When the bastards stop parking in the disabled bay.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Clubber Lang should have won

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

They say the hardest part of a vegetable to eat in the wheelchair

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

The most popular name for a female police dog in the 1960s was Lulu.

Because when she gets you, she's gonna make you shout!...

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By *ildbillkidMan
20 weeks ago

where the road goes on forever

Lemons float in water, limes sink

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Underneath their clothes, people are walking around completely naked.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
20 weeks ago

The bottom of the River Ankh


"Underneath their clothes, people are walking around completely naked. "

Who knew?

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By *isitingbiMan
20 weeks ago

London

Peanuts are not nuts

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

E.L.O have announced their disbanding all because the cost of Electricity these days is scandalous

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By *uri00620Woman
20 weeks ago

Croydon

There's a quirky little town in Alaska called Chicken. It only has about 15 or so residents (maybe more now, i was there 10 years ago).

Original settlers wanted to name it after the state bird but couldn't spell it 'Ptarmigan' so called it Chicken instead - close enough 😆

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By *amsevenMan
20 weeks ago

cork

[Removed by poster at 13/03/25 19:56:32]

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By *orruptionandliesMan
20 weeks ago

leeds

Next door is a complete bitch

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By *amsevenMan
20 weeks ago

cork

The last ice age ended on July 19th

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough


"E.L.O have announced their disbanding all because the cost of Electricity these days is scandalous "

Shocking.

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough


"Yul Brinner was a Liverpool FC supporter who hated aftershave.Which is why Yul never wore Cologne."

Long before Deadpool and his buddy, no not the Aussie, who needs a manicure, bought into Wrecsam. Wacko Jacko was going to buy West Han united, until one of the club directors found out Michael's pet's name...

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

You'll alway get a frosty reception at a Inuit's wedding.

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By *ad NannaWoman
20 weeks ago

East London

Monkeys discovered how to make tea by accidentally dropping the dried leaves into a hot spa hole.

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By *artinMG4Man
20 weeks ago

Leeds

A recent survey found one in seven dwarves were grumpy.

They also found 7UP was Snow White's favourite...

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By *tr8MrEMan
20 weeks ago

somewhere near Sheffield

8 out of 10 cats don't prefer whiskas

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By *aftarse59Man
20 weeks ago

workington

Yellow snow should not be eaten

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

Snow White was the original greedy girl.

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

Computer viruses where invented by the digital illuminati to force us into hardware and software upgrades at an unnatural pace. Typically only newspapers and magazines have a shorter time of pre-obsolescence.

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By *illy IdolMan
20 weeks ago

Midlands

The horse numbered 4 has won the Cheltenham Gold Cup more than any other number 🐎 🏆

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
20 weeks ago

North West


"They say the hardest part of a vegetable to eat in the wheelchair"

If this is what I think it's meant to mean, then just

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

20 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

2400 times a year, 44 times a week, 9 times a day, every 48 minutes.....actually 'maths' if you know the context.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds


"They say the hardest part of a vegetable to eat in the wheelchair

If this is what I think it's meant to mean, then just "

Totally vile. I will report it.

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By *eoBloomsMan
20 weeks ago

Springfield


"They say the hardest part of a vegetable to eat in the wheelchair

If this is what I think it's meant to mean, then just "

🤬

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By *elloWoman
20 weeks ago

alpha centauri


"Monkeys discovered how to make tea by accidentally dropping the dried leaves into a hot spa hole."

What did have for their break time at the piano moving company before they invented the tea?

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough


"Monkeys discovered how to make tea by accidentally dropping the dried leaves into a hot spa hole.

What did have for their break time at the piano moving company before they invented the tea? "

Nothing too expensive: as they were only paid peanuts.

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

Is is now commonplace for toddlers of Youtubers, Instagram and FB'ers, to splutter out 'Like' or 'Subscribe', as their first words.

No sarcasm here, honest!

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By *ndycoinsMan
20 weeks ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

Pharaoh Djoser was the first person to offer an investment opportunity in Egypt.It was a pyramid scheme.

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

Tena are going to sponsor the Loftus Road stadium next season. The first thing they're gonna do is put out more outside portaloos and revamp and increase the number of inside toilets for the home and away sides..

That's right:

Less queue

More pee

more aaah!

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By *aysOfOurLivesCouple
20 weeks ago

Chigwell


"Jogging was invented by Jim Fixx who died age 52 whilst jogging.

The Segway was invented by Jimi Heselden who died falling off a cliff into a river whilst riding his Segway. "

Dr.Atkins died morbidly obese of heart attack

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough


"Jogging was invented by Jim Fixx who died age 52 whilst jogging.

The Segway was invented by Jimi Heselden who died falling off a cliff into a river whilst riding his Segway.

Dr.Atkins died morbidly obese of heart attack "

So the Atkins diet, is pretty much similar to an Artic kitchen?

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