FabSwingers.com forum: Jealousy and swinging

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So many people say they feel no jealousy at all- I just don't understand that. It seems like maybe they are emotionless robots. (My thoughts, can't think of a better way to explain it.)

Surely there must be just a tiny twinge of jealousy when your partner is having sex with someone else?

For those that say they feel not even a twinge of jealousy, do you ever feel jealous of anything in 'real life'? I'm wondering if that emotion just doesn't exist in some people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I felt jealous watching the OH or vice versa, we would not swing. Simples

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

it will happen more than people will admit to. I would suggest where one partner is going along with this swinging malarky to please the other.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"it will happen more than people will admit to. I would suggest where one partner is going along with this swinging malarky to please the other.

Yeah I imagine there's loads of those. Some are pretty obvious even though they deny it.

It's more the people that are adamant they feel no jealousy at all that I honestly don't understand. I want to understand.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I used to swing as a couple, and I used to adore watching my partner with other women, never entered my head to feel jealous.

But I don't feel jealous about anything in my life. Never have experienced jealousy or enviousness (is that even a word?). I guess that's one thing my parents and grandparents did well, to raise me without that destructive emotion.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No jealousy here, genuinely. It's all connected with how your relationship is, how you feel about yourself and if you feel you own your partner and their feelings.

We feel that we are individuals within a strong and honest relationship, both of us are free to feel sexual attraction to someone else and follow up on it in the others presence.

To be honest we don't understand jealousy but we can see how it arises.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do not play with gents that are attached, don't show my verifications or friends list, in order to avoid the green-eyed monster as much as possible.

For me, fun via FAB is NSA, and jealousy issue has not raised its ugly head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't be naive to say I don't ever feel jealous in life or swinging.

I think communication and being very lucky to have a good and honest relationship is why jealousy is not an issue for me.

Personally I think jealousy is linked to insecurity.

I struggled with swinging as a couple when the oh and I first met.

But after having time out, to get to know each other and come up with our own 'swingers code' both of us are feeling no jealously at all.

It does help to know I can speak to the oh, and that he would never push a meet if I was unhappy about it!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I sometimes feel envy but I don't think that is the destructive emotion that jealousy is. It's possible to envy sometimes lifestyle without feeling bitter it can spur you on to achieve things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never played with a partner as not sure how i would feel ... not an jealous person by rule but don't think i would like it. Although I do like the thought... On the other hand have had the green eyed monster on a mff meet by the woman was my que to get out of there .. didn't go back even though she did apologise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it happens a lot more than will be admitted also.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

We haven't swapped fully yet but I do get turned on by the thought of seeing my OH with another woman. I'm very much interested in the whole cuck queen thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've had to take a break from swinging not through jealousy but oh feeling insecure even though we had being doing it for 5 years so even if it isn't a problem to start with you never know what's around the corner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I felt jealous watching the OH or vice versa, we would not swing. Simples "

This.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

If I meet a nice guy from here and want to meet him again (not always the case) I sometimes get a twinge of envy when I see they've met someone else. Then I meet someone else and the feeling goes away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

jealously often confused by envy

envy is more a positive thing, jealousy is not

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We've had to take a break from swinging not through jealousy but oh feeling insecure even though we had being doing it for 5 years so even if it isn't a problem to start with you never know what's around the corner "

Very true you don't know what's round the corner and as it seems you have done, discussion and respect for each others feeling os the way forward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I imagine there's loads of those. Some are pretty obvious even though they deny it.

It's more the people that are adamant they feel no jealousy at all that I honestly don't understand. I want to understand."

Jealousy is definately there, just look on the forums where it is clear that some (usually singles) feel the need to contantly mark their territory.

And the couples in clubs can be pretty clear too. When you play with a couple and one storms off and locks themself in a toilet you can safely assume there are jealousy issues. Jealousy within couples is usually closely linked to a lack of communication.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I imagine there's loads of those. Some are pretty obvious even though they deny it.

It's more the people that are adamant they feel no jealousy at all that I honestly don't understand. I want to understand.

Jealousy is definately there, just look on the forums where it is clear that some (usually singles) feel the need to contantly mark their territory.

maybe they just needed a shit?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you get jealous then sex clubs and swinging probs ain't ur thing,

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's more the people that are adamant they feel no jealousy at all that I honestly don't understand. I want to understand."

Why do you want to understand? If you feel no jealousy you can't really explain it to someone else. I tried to explain in my previous post that neither of us feel that we "own" each other in the sense that we realise that we are both individuals that are in a strong relationship by choice, we are confident that our feelings for each other are genuine that is demonstrated every day by word and deed, we both acknowledge that as sexual beings we will find other people attractive and we are both sure that if we have sex with another person (honestly and openly) it wont affect our feelings for each other. Neither of us has anything to lose therefore we have no reason to be jealous.

Of course as soemone else pointed out you never know what's round the corner but that is true whatever your lifestyle or sexual behaviour and feeling jealous in the present will never change the future for the better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's more the people that are adamant they feel no jealousy at all that I honestly don't understand. I want to understand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (the male) never get jealous when we swing but in everyday life I can be, I can't explain it, if an old male friend of gilly calls her up I get quite defensive and agitated but in swinging no probably because it's upfront and open

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are pretty new to this and neither of us have felt jealousy, after our first meet which went far better than we imagined it would I (stew) hit a low a couple of days after, it was a positive low tho and made me even more attentive towards Donna if that make any sense

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Surely there must be just a tiny twinge of jealousy when your partner is having sex with someone else?

One of the things I love about swinging, is watching my OH with another woman (i have a couples profile)

So no, not jealous at all....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We are pretty new to this and neither of us have felt jealousy, after our first meet which went far better than we imagined it would I (stew) hit a low a couple of days after, it was a positive low tho and made me even more attentive towards Donna if that make any sense "

That's positive jealousy

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

By the way its very refreshing to see a couples profile with pictures of the man on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have watched my husband have sex with five women so far and not once have i felt jealousy...we would never swing if i did...we fuck when we swing..make love on our own.

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By *ransylvesterTV/TS
over a year ago

Close enough for fun!

I always thing those ones who shout loud saying no really feel the opposite and those that are nonchalant and smile at the question don't see it as an issue for them so the lack of drama tells me they don't get jealous and its an inconsequential issue.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

There are couples on here looking for meets EVERY weekend...

It does make me wonder just how much time they like to spend with each other...

Jealousy may rear its ugly head IF you are not paying enough attention to your OH...

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Never felt jealousy in a relationship, don't feel jealous usually, however, since I've started losing my hair I've started suffering follicle envy, and it's towards men strangely enough.

I've a young male colleague with gorgeous jet black luscious locks...I look at him and thing life can be unfair!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I do not play with gents that are attached, don't show my verifications or friends list, in order to avoid the green-eyed monster as much as possible.

For me, fun via FAB is NSA, and jealousy issue has not raised its ugly head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's positive jealousy

Well it worked for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sometimes feel envy but I don't think that is the destructive emotion that jealousy is. It's possible to envy sometimes lifestyle without feeling bitter it can spur you on to achieve things."

I have felt jealous in the past and agree it can be very destructive. Having said that I have turned the feeling of jealousy into something that's a huge turn on. Such emotion lol

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"There are couples on here looking for meets EVERY weekend...

It does make me wonder just how much time they like to spend with each other...

Jealousy may rear its ugly head IF you are not paying enough attention to your OH..."

There are couples that post they find each other sexually boring, hence why they swing!

You just know there are jealousy issues there.

Personally I'd avoid such couuples like the plague!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Neither of us are in the slightest jealous, but then we are not jealous people in general. I cant ever remember being jealous, envious is something different.

But then our relationship comes first and the swinging is just an extra. Neither of us does/would put swinging before anything else, where happy as we are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never felt jealousy in a relationship, don't feel jealous usually, however, since I've started losing my hair I've started suffering follicle envy, and it's towards men strangely enough.

I've a young male colleague with gorgeous jet black luscious locks...I look at him and thing life can be unfair!

i have some spare pubes if u want me to send them by mail...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Really cool discussion, thanks.

I want to understand because I am interested. It's good to learn new things. I understand it a whole lot more than I did.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah I imagine there's loads of those. Some are pretty obvious even though they deny it.

It's more the people that are adamant they feel no jealousy at all that I honestly don't understand. I want to understand.

Jealousy is definately there, just look on the forums where it is clear that some (usually singles) feel the need to contantly mark their territory.

maybe they just needed a shit?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No jealousy issues .envy if one is having a better time tan the other at the beginning of our swinging career .lol.but now nothing .it turns me on and vice versa and now if one is aving a better time than the other we just try to make sure we up our game, to get more fun or help the other person have more fun.some swings will go better for the one person than the other due to chemistry .however it's the swing itself and how it makes you horny after that makes you want to continue not to mention all the nice people you meet and naughty fun you can expand on with regular meets.we love it no storming off here .

oppyxo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No jealousy issues .envy if one is having a better time tan the other at the beginning of our swinging career .lol.but now nothing .it turns me on and vice versa and now if one is aving a better time than the other we just try to make sure we up our game, to get more fun or help the other person have more fun.some swings will go better for the one person than the other due to chemistry .however it's the swing itself and how it makes you horny after that makes you want to continue not to mention all the nice people you meet and naughty fun you can expand on with regular meets.we love it no storming off here .

oppyxo

not even for a shit!!!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I meet a nice guy from here and want to meet him again (not always the case) I sometimes get a twinge of envy when I see they've met someone else. Then I meet someone else and the feeling goes away.

I think that's the same for a lot of single girls and the guys they meet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always thing those ones who shout loud saying no really feel the opposite and those that are nonchalant and smile at the question don't see it as an issue for them so the lack of drama tells me they don't get jealous and its an inconsequential issue. "

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By *ll-Knight-longMan
over a year ago

Derby/Notts(Long Eaton)

I think it is all down to whether you feel you 'OWN' your partner rather than 'SHARE' their mind ,thoughts and experiences.

I often envy the various relationships my GF has on Fab but that's what calms here down or boosts her confidence and makes her what she is.

I know She can be jealous of my other long term relationship but regardless we have to be honest with each other for our life to be symbiotic.

I have never felt jealous which she sees as me not feeling so deeply as she does for me, but for my part why should I be jealous when I do not own her as an object

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that's the same for a lot of single girls and the guys they meet! "

As I single I don't have to worry about a partner being jealous or envious and vice versa!

There are people I meet regularly, some infrequently and some for mere one offs. But I have the same _iew regarding all of them - I have no expectancy on any of them and expect the same in return. What I choose to do and who I choose to meet is my business - just as the same applies to them. I've yet to feel jealous or envious of the activities of anyone I've met - which might just be down to my mindset and personality. As for the 'marking territory' _iew - yes I'm sure it goes on - but you should never assume that just because people enjoy each others company and that feeds into veri's and forum posts - that they are not adult enough to be simply paying compliments rather than warning off others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watching J last night with another woman in a BDSM and soft swing situation was seriously hot. What was even hotter was going home and us finishing the night off together knowing how utterly filthy we had been with the couple. Lots of eye contact is what we seem to do while we are playing, we've not full swapped yet but its on the list of things we both really want to do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So many people say they feel no jealousy at all- I just don't understand that. It seems like maybe they are emotionless robots. (My thoughts, can't think of a better way to explain it.)

Surely there must be just a tiny twinge of jealousy when your partner is having sex with someone else?

For those that say they feel not even a twinge of jealousy, do you ever feel jealous of anything in 'real life'? I'm wondering if that emotion just doesn't exist in some people.

there are so many more emotions that jealousy, all because jealousy isn't one of the emotions you feel that does not make you emotionless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that's the same for a lot of single girls and the guys they meet!

As I single I don't have to worry about a partner being jealous or envious and vice versa!

You're one of the lucky ones then! For some a deeper connection can be made (off fab, chatting daily) and although you know and understand the conditions of the Site and a meet, it can still stir up a little pang of jealousy when meeting with other people and having new varies. This has been my experience with some guys I've met.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

continue not to mention all the nice people you

meet and naughty fun you can expand on with

regular meets.we love it no storming off here . :-

Poppyxo

not even for a shit!!!?"
no we douche before meets lol.so no need to shit during meets and we like watersports so even a pee can be shared if people are willing .loll,you did ask .poppyxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

continue not to mention all the nice people you

meet and naughty fun you can expand on with

regular meets.we love it no storming off here . :-

Poppyxo

not even for a shit!!!?no we douche before meets lol.so no need to shit during meets and we like watersports so even a pee can be shared if people are willing .loll,you did ask .poppyxx

poppy -ploppy sounds good! xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So many people say they feel no jealousy at all- I just don't understand that. It seems like maybe they are emotionless robots. (My thoughts, can't think of a better way to explain it.)

Surely there must be just a tiny twinge of jealousy when your partner is having sex with someone else?

For those that say they feel not even a twinge of jealousy, do you ever feel jealous of anything in 'real life'? I'm wondering if that emotion just

doesn't exist in some people

there are so many more emotions that jealousy, all because jealousy isn't one of the emotions you feel that does not make you emotionless

"
Here here .theres lots of emotions out there .to say some one is emotionless just cos they don't get jealous is very extreme .also I feel swinging has brought us closer together as a couple and trust each other more.if you look at lots of swinging couples on here it's the same they are very much in love and can separate fucking from love and sex .poppyxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

continue not to mention all the nice people you

meet and naughty fun you can expand on with

regular meets.we love it no storming off here . :-

Poppyxo

not even for a shit!!!?no we douche before meets lol.so no need to shit during meets and we like watersports so even a pee can be shared if people are willing .loll,you did ask .poppyxx

poppy -ploppy sounds good! xxxx"
booo not into scat so no ploppypoppybut potty popy for pee good .loll

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally feel there are some kinds of jealousy that are healthy to have. I had my first couples meet and that was the first time i ever had to share someone and yes i was slightly jealous they were paying more attention to her at one point, but tbh it just made me want them more!

I will still happily meet others with him - i even had such a night planned for last night!!

It's not always bad to have some jealousy - its how you cope and deal with it really

If at any point i felt i was too jealous i would stop seeing said person or at least take a break from it

I'm not in a relationship so i'm speaking from a single's side who see's someone regularly

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Have I got jealous with swinging....Yes I have. Do I think its healthy..no. I have taken a break as I am re thinking what I want out of life...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So many people say they feel no jealousy at all- I just don't understand that. It seems like maybe they are emotionless robots. (My thoughts, can't think of a better way to explain it.)

Surely there must be just a tiny twinge of jealousy when your partner is having sex with someone else?

For those that say they feel not even a twinge of jealousy, do you ever feel jealous of anything in 'real life'? I'm wondering if that emotion just doesn't exist in some people.

there are so many more emotions that jealousy, all because jealousy isn't one of the emotions you feel that does not make you emotionless "

Ok not emotionless, wooden.

I know you've said before you don't feel jealous, and Obi always says it too. I'm interested how it seems so black and white to you. Actually like someone else said, you can't explain it. I think I'm jealous of your non-jealousness!

I need to look up envy vs jealousy....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i get jealous of seeing women with nice shoes on

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

She could have a firkin house full at the minute whilst I anxiously hope Forest score and other results change in our favour

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I personally feel there are some kinds of jealousy that are healthy to have. I had my first couples meet and that was the first time i ever had to share someone and yes i was slightly jealous they were paying more attention to her at one point, but tbh it just made me want them more!

I will still happily meet others with him - i even had such a night planned for last night!!

It's not always bad to have some jealousy - its how you cope and deal with it really

If at any point i felt i was too jealous i would stop seeing said person or at least take a break from it

I'm not in a relationship so i'm speaking from a single's side who see's someone regularly"

I agree with that. I don't think jealousy is always bad either, just how you deal with it. Not sure if it's actually envy though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Snide comments on verfications

Removal from friends list

Blocked

I guess that was jealously never bothered asking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So many people say they feel no jealousy at all- I just don't understand that. It seems like maybe they are emotionless robots. (My thoughts, can't think of a better way to explain it.)

Surely there must be just a tiny twinge of jealousy when your partner is having sex with someone else?

For those that say they feel not even a twinge of jealousy, do you ever feel jealous of anything in 'real life'? I'm wondering if that emotion just doesn't exist in some people.

there are so many more emotions that jealousy, all because jealousy isn't one of the emotions you feel that does not make you emotionless

Ok not emotionless, wooden.

I need to look up envy vs jealousy.... "

I guess it's easier for me as I've reached a point in my life where I know that I'm not at all interested in another relationship. I've been married but never had any interest in kids. Any lack of jealousy is largely down to being totally content with my life as it is! And i'm 99% sure that wont change anytime soon!

I have enough 'acquaintances' to mostly be able to meet when I want and am always 100% upfront with single women regarding my attitude and intentions. Any sign of them not understanding this and I'll openly clarify - and if needs be - move on. I haven't had to consider doing that in a long while - so either my choices have been good so far - or I've just gotten lucky!

Or they're boiling the bunnies long after I've left!

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

I think for a lot of swingers (and i could be very wrong) they have the ability to turn any feelings of jealousy into arousal. So the emotional reaction becomes a spur for the mental and physical.

Of course, there are some that actually don't experience any jealously and genuinely enjoy seeing their partners with other people, etc etc.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So many people say they feel no jealousy at all- I just don't understand that. It seems like maybe they are emotionless robots. (My thoughts, can't think of a better way to explain it.)

Surely there must be just a tiny twinge of jealousy when your partner is having sex with someone else?

For those that say they feel not even a twinge of jealousy, do you ever feel jealous of anything in 'real life'? I'm wondering if that emotion just doesn't exist in some people.

there are so many more emotions that jealousy, all because jealousy isn't one of the emotions you feel that does not make you emotionless

Ok not emotionless, wooden.

I need to look up envy vs jealousy....

Or they're boiling the bunnies long after I've left!

That makes sense! Lightbulb moment.

My brain's ticking.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think for a lot of swingers (and i could be very wrong) they have the ability to turn any feelings of jealousy into arousal. So the emotional reaction becomes a spur for the mental and physical.

Of course, there are some that actually don't experience any jealously and genuinely enjoy seeing their partners with other people, etc etc."

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"So many people say they feel no jealousy at all- I just don't understand that. It seems like maybe they are emotionless robots. (My thoughts, can't think of a better way to explain it.)

Surely there must be just a tiny twinge of jealousy when your partner is having sex with someone else?

For those that say they feel not even a twinge of jealousy, do you ever feel jealous of anything in 'real life'? I'm wondering if that emotion just doesn't exist in some people.

there are so many more emotions that jealousy, all because jealousy isn't one of the emotions you feel that does not make you emotionless

Ok not emotionless, wooden.

I need to look up envy vs jealousy....

Or they're boiling the bunnies long after I've left!

That makes sense! Lightbulb moment.

My brain's ticking..... "

He clearly has NO O.H. So it doesn't answer your Q

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I don't feel jealous. I encourage my fb to have sex with other men. I like sexually active and sexually attractive women and would feel a little disappointed if other men didn't. I get slightly envious but more sort of wondering 'what if....' when I see couples happily shagging each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I felt jealous watching the OH or vice versa, we would not swing. Simples "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best one I've ever heard was from my ex Dominant when we were still meeting. I knew he had another sub and it wasn't an issue (Hello we're on a swinging site!) She found out about me and saw her arse (which by this point I think was probably reddened slightly!) Suffice to say I continued to see him, she didn't!

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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset

If a couple are secure in their relationship and truly love each other, they will enjoy seeing their partner have pleasure, and vice/versa.

Then there's the whole cuck thing where jealousy seems to be the thing, seems to work for some.

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